Okay, What Gives You The Heebie Jeebies???

[wesfau2]

Lots of little bitches up in this thread.

Word.

I was just checking in to call you all a bunch of pussies.

Or, to quote Jumbo, quoting another:

Be advised. I'm mean, nasty and tired. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm and I can put a round in a flea's ass at 200 meters. So why don't you go hump somebody else's leg, mutt face, before I push yours in.

[Jumbo]

Word.

I was just checking in to call you all a bunch of pussies.

Or, to quote Jumbo, quoting another:

Be advised. I'm mean, nasty and tired. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm and I can put a round in a flea's ass at 200 meters. So why don't you go hump somebody else's leg, mutt face, before I push yours in.

Word Em' Up.

[AUTiger1]

Word.

I was just checking in to call you all a bunch of pussies.

Or, to quote Jumbo, quoting another:

Be advised. I'm mean, nasty and tired. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm and I can put a round in a flea's ass at 200 meters. So why don't you go hump somebody else's leg, mutt face, before I push yours in.

My McNeil!!! 

I make fun, but snakes make me shit myself and cry like a little bitch, not real crazy about heights either.  Spiders and wasp, well I would rather take on either/or than deal with a snake

[Tiger Wench]

Not a huge snake or spider fan, but not to the point of the screaming meanies... won't kill either one unless it is poisonous.  A spider in the house gets caught and let go outside.

But palmetto bugs (those huge flying cockroach looking things) will freak me the fuck out.  When I lived in Dallas, they were everywhere in the high heat of the summer.  One night, I dreamed I was walking through Macy's cosmetics department and one of the annoying perfume ladies was tickling my face with a goldenrod stem.  I woke up with one of those massive mofos on my face.  I screamed and threw him across the room.  My ex woke up and thought I was dreaming - until I turned on the light and the damn thing was crawling across the wall.  AT LEAST three inches - no shit.  Biggest bug I have ever seen.

I was on the phone with Orkin the next morning at 8am sharpish, only to be told that there is nothing one can do to keep them out of one's house except to sprinkle borax powder around the perimeter of the house once a week and keep all the drains plugged all the time.

I also have a serious phobia about chalk.  I don't like to see it, touch it, see someone write with it - don't like the feel of it on my hands, and I will NOT touch it at all, not even with a paper towel.  The kids think it is funny to chase me with their sidewalk chalk - seriously grosses me out.  It gives me MAJOR goosebumps - even typing this gives me shivers and a nauseous feeling...

[Saniflush]

Our government and the IRS. 

That really is about it.  I have been audited twice in the last 5 years.  I have gotten physically sick both times.  I hate those motherfuckers with the heat of a thousand fires. 

[Snaggletiger]

Forgot about heights. Exact same feelings.  Spent a lot of years as a claims adjuster climbing on roofs.  Hated every second of it. 

[djsimp]

Snakes, spiders, roaches and wasp; not really afraid of them but they're as good as dead if I get a hold of them. I use to be a little skeered of heights but Army took care of that one and not by choice either.

My wife, though, is t.e.r.r.i.f.i.e.d of lizards and frogs. Every once in a while a lizard will get in the house. If it does, well I might as well go home to take care of it because she will call me every five seconds till the sombitch is dead.

[Buzz Killington]

My wife, though, is t.e.r.r.i.f.i.e.d of lizards and frogs. Every once in a while a lizard will get in the house. If it does, well I might as well go home to take care of it because she will call me every five seconds till the sombitch is dead.

I can empathize with you there.  Once Little Buzz figured this out, he started catching lizards and bringing them in for mommy to see.  That can be enjoyable...until I get hit for laughing so hard.

[Snaggletiger]

Got a call at work one day from the wife who said she was coming down stairs to leave for work and a RAT was coming up the stairs.  She wasn't leaving for work until I came home and eradicated the mammoth creature. Just that scared.  Naturally, I couldn't find anything and went to the store to buy both a mouse and rat trap just in case.  Two nights later....snap.  Went in to find a mouse about half the size of my thumb.  Asked her if this was the "rat".

THAT'S HIM...OH MY GOD...THAT"S HIM!!!!!

[djsimp]

I can empathize with you there.  Once Little Buzz figured this out, he started catching lizards and bringing them in for mommy to see.  That can be enjoyable...until I get hit for laughing so hard.

And I'm laughing as I read this. The last one that came in, I caught him and had to tease a bit myself. My wife as never climbed a chair so fast. Not sure why she climber a chair but anyway. My two little girls are the same way, especially the youngest. She ran away so fast she bounced off the door jamb and was up off her feet before her butt hit the ground. I imagine little man is gonna have a lot of fun with this when he figures it out.

[djsimp]

THAT'S HIM...OH MY GOD...THAT"S HIM!!!!!

[AUTiger1]

Ok, in the other thread I may have mentioned something about real looking rubber snakes and being a barrel full of laughs.  My neighbors and wife know that I may or may not like snakes a whole lot. 

A couple of years back, my neighbors wife buys a new Lexus.  She loves this car.  So does her hubby and for what they paid, they should love it.  Anywho, I am out in the yard, getting a new flower bed ready and just happened to have a garden hoe in my hand getting those last few clumps of pesky grass up.  I see my wife in their driveway talking to her and then they call me over and tell me that she needs help getting a box out of the trunk.  All the while her husband is peaking around the garage and I never noticed him so I didn't think anything about it.  Walk up with the hoe still in my hand mind you, and she asked if I could get the box out of her trunk.  I tell her yes and start to reach out when they both (wife and neighbors wife) gasp and point to the ground.  I see the snake hanging about halfway out from the car.

The next part is really blurry, but I do remember grabbing the hoe, spinning away from the car whilst walking on air like I was in the Matrix and swinging said hoe as hard as I could towards the ground.  This part gets really tricky b/c in my panic, my aim is not really all that great.  I remember hearing this crunching noise, like plastic makes when it is being hit and punctured.  The next thing I remember is I am standing there with this blank stare, they looked shocked and her husband comes out of the garage looking sick.  I look down and realize that I whacked the hell out of their bumper and I don't know how I got the angle I got, but I sunk the hoe up in it.

I figured the husband was pissed and he was, but at this wife and my wife, although he was part of it.  Convo went like this.

Me: Dude, I really hate that.
Him: 
Me, while looking at my wife and his wife:  What in the fuck made you think that was a good idea, snake, car, garden hoe.  Neither one of you really thought this out did you?
Them: 
Him: 

I then walk off and go back to work all pissed off.  It cost them a little money to get that one fixed.  I laugh now, but I was really pissed at the time.

[Saniflush]

Ok, in the other thread I may have mentioned something about real looking rubber snakes and being a barrel full of laughs.  My neighbors and wife know that I may or may not like snakes a whole lot. 

A couple of years back, my neighbors wife buys a new Lexus.  She loves this car.  So does her hubby and for what they paid, they should love it.  Anywho, I am out in the yard, getting a new flower bed ready and just happened to have a garden hoe in my hand getting those last few clumps of pesky grass up.  I see my wife in their driveway talking to her and then they call me over and tell me that she needs help getting a box out of the trunk.  All the while her husband is peaking around the garage and I never noticed him so I didn't think anything about it.  Walk up with the hoe still in my hand mind you, and she asked if I could get the box out of her trunk.  I tell her yes and start to reach out when they both (wife and neighbors wife) gasp and point to the ground.  I see the snake hanging about halfway out from the car.

The next part is really blurry, but I do remember grabbing the hoe, spinning away from the car whilst walking on air like I was in the Matrix and swinging said hoe as hard as I could towards the ground.  This part gets really tricky b/c in my panic, my aim is not really all that great.  I remember hearing this crunching noise, like plastic makes when it is being hit and punctured.  The next thing I remember is I am standing there with this blank stare, they looked shocked and her husband comes out of the garage looking sick.  I look down and realize that I whacked the hell out of their bumper and I don't know how I got the angle I got, but I sunk the hoe up in it.

I figured the husband was pissed and he was, but at this wife and my wife, although he was part of it.  Convo went like this.

Me: Dude, I really hate that.
Him: 
Me, while looking at my wife and his wife:  What in the fuck made you think that was a good idea, snake, car, garden hoe.  Neither one of you really thought this out did you?
Them: 
Him: 

I then walk off and go back to work all pissed off.  It cost them a little money to get that one fixed.  I laugh now, but I was really pissed at the time.

This sounds like a great life lesson for them.  I hope you did not give them any money toward the repair.

[AUTiger1]

This sounds like a great life lesson for them.  I hope you did not give them any money toward the repair.

Negative, I don't think they would have asked since they realized they shouldn't have done it.  Believe it or not we are all still good friends to this day and I was sure that was going to be the end of it.  No one brings that moment up though. 

[AWK]

Our government and the IRS. 

That really is about it.  I have been audited twice in the last 5 years. I have gotten physically sick both times.  I hate those motherfuckers with the heat of a thousand fires.

I know someone that could help you with that.

[Saniflush]

I know someone that could help you with that.

Trust me you be on the short list in the future, but these were all tied not only to family stuff but also shit from when I had the glass company in Birmingham, so the water is muddy to say the least.  Hopefully when I move to another country in a couple of years I can just say "fuck'em".

[Godfather]

Word.

I was just checking in to call you all a bunch of pussies.

Or, to quote Jumbo, quoting another:

Be advised. I'm mean, nasty and tired. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm and I can put a round in a flea's ass at 200 meters. So why don't you go hump somebody else's leg, mutt face, before I push yours in.

Say there friend...how do you feel about marriage....and kids?

[Snaggletiger]

Say there friend...how do you feel about marriage....and kids?

Very heebie jeebyish

[GH2001]

Wasps - hate em.

Got stung last Summer by 2 at the same time on my hand.

Fuck em. No purpose.

That is all.

[Snaggletiger]

Wasps - hate em.

Got stung last Summer by 2 at the same time on my hand.

Fuck em. No purpose.

That is all.

Like someone said earlier, a snake you can usually see and deal with it.  Wasps, yellow jackets etc....you may see them and you may not.  You step on a jacket nest in the ground....get ready to have 15 cigarettes put out on your legs.  Wasps have a real nasty habit of building nests in a bush, on the back side of a grill...and my personal favorite...when you're working a summer construction job and go to the warehouse to get some sawhorses...pick one up and suddenly you're in a remake of Alfred Hitchcock's, The Birds...except the birds are 3 pound red wasps with 2" stingers.