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Official I’m Sorry thread

Jumbo

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Re: Official I’m Sorry thread
« Reply #120 on: October 26, 2018, 03:05:55 AM »
Typical... next thing you know there's money missing off the dresser and your daughters knocked up....I've seen it 100 times.
Guaranteed piece of shit.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Official I’m Sorry thread
« Reply #121 on: October 26, 2018, 09:30:06 AM »
Typical... next thing you know there's money missing off the dresser and your daughters knocked up....I've seen it 100 times.
But why do they put a guarantee on the contract?
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

bgreene

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Re: Official I’m Sorry thread
« Reply #122 on: October 26, 2018, 09:32:53 AM »
But why do they put a guarantee on the contract?
Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will.  I got spare time.
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Godfather

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Re: Official I’m Sorry thread
« Reply #123 on: October 26, 2018, 09:53:01 AM »
Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will.  I got spare time.


But for right now for Auburn's sake...for your daughter's sake you might think about firing Gus for a quality coach.
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jmar

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Re: Official I’m Sorry thread
« Reply #124 on: October 28, 2018, 11:54:24 AM »
I would like to apologize for this entire thread. 

I'd also like to congratulate the few of you who saw past the just mopped glow and noticed the bugs, dirt and feces still embedded in the floor.  You know who you are.  I'm proud of you. 

I'd also like to apologize for wes, who at some point in this travail of shame uttered these regrettable words "pay the man." 

I'm tired of apologizing.

Let me also add that I've never seen anybody who can take a mountain of goodwill and then shit on it, wipe their ass with their hand and smear obscenities on the wall with the poop any better than Gus can.  He is the king of that. 
Hey what happened with the "to Bill Clark" toast?
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The Six

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Re: Official I’m Sorry thread
« Reply #125 on: October 28, 2018, 01:28:28 PM »
Hey what happened with the "to Bill Clark" toast?
We may not be high profile enough of a program for Bill Clark.
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"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg

jmar

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Re: Official I’m Sorry thread
« Reply #126 on: October 28, 2018, 02:19:21 PM »
We may not be high profile enough of a program for Bill Clark.
That's true. The Ackbars might be giving him a long look. We probably need to be searching for lower mid- majors in far reaches.
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The Six

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Re: Official I’m Sorry thread
« Reply #127 on: October 28, 2018, 02:27:26 PM »
That's true. The Ackbars might be giving him a long look. We probably need to be searching for lower mid- majors in far reaches.
UTEP Head Coach Dana Dimel is currently 0-8 and 30-47 over his whole career at UTEP, Houston, and Wyoming.
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"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg

jmar

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Re: Official I’m Sorry thread
« Reply #128 on: October 28, 2018, 02:55:24 PM »
UTEP Head Coach Dana Dimel is currently 0-8 and 30-47 over his whole career at UTEP, Houston, and Wyoming.
Seems he could be the dude to zero in on then. Nice find.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Official I’m Sorry thread
« Reply #129 on: October 30, 2018, 11:06:12 AM »
Currently the UAB Blazers are ranked higher than Auburn.  Let that sink in for a minute.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

CCTAU

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Re: Official I’m Sorry thread
« Reply #130 on: October 30, 2018, 11:40:37 AM »
Currently the UAB Blazers are ranked higher than Auburn.  Let that sink in for a minute.
The man. The myth. The legend.















Bill Clark!
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1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Official I’m Sorry thread
« Reply #131 on: October 30, 2018, 11:51:09 AM »
I went camping with Clark … I’m in the back of a pickup with Bill Clark and a live deer. Well, Clark, he grabs the deer by the antlers, looks at it and says, ‘I’m Bill Clark! Say it!’ Then he squeezes the deer in such a way that a sound comes out of its mouth — “Billclark!” It wasn’t exactly it, but it was pretty good for a deer.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: Official I’m Sorry thread
« Reply #132 on: October 30, 2018, 11:53:38 AM »
He once punched a hole in a cow just so he could see who was coming up the road.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Official I’m Sorry thread
« Reply #133 on: October 30, 2018, 12:03:12 PM »
He taught me how to make love to a woman, and how to scold a child.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

oldautiger

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Re: Official I’m Sorry thread
« Reply #134 on: October 30, 2018, 04:01:16 PM »
HE taught me how to bowl overhand
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