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Kaos' way behind movie reviews

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3380 on: October 04, 2023, 11:20:04 AM »
I'm not buying some lgbtbr549 rag that wants to out everybody from Thomas Jefferson to George Jefferson in an effort to promote their agenda.

Anna Kendrick>Dever all day, every day, twice on Saturday.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3381 on: October 04, 2023, 01:22:07 PM »
Anna Kendrick>Dever all day, every day, twice on Saturday.

Why not both?
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3382 on: October 04, 2023, 02:29:57 PM »
Quote from: Kaos link=topic=5634.msg507880#msg507880date=1696440127
Why not both?

At the same time? Sold.

Sydney Sweeney has a nice set of lungs, too.

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3383 on: October 04, 2023, 03:27:28 PM »
Breathe in, breathe out.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3384 on: October 04, 2023, 03:56:30 PM »
Breathe in, breathe out.

Got a machinehead?
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3385 on: October 08, 2023, 10:05:18 AM »
Totally Killer

As I was watching this Amazon Prime 'horror' film I thought to myself that it was trying too hard to rip off Happy Death Day and Happy Death Day 2 You, both of which were really enjoyable films. This one wasn't quite there. Turns out the same people who did HDD and HDD2Y were also behind this, which explains the vibe. Unfortunately it wasn't nearly as good.

The film folded so many of the same concepts that made HDD and its sequel good, but it didn't have the same appeal. It was like buying Great Value brand. It's okay, but it's not the same. Something's missing. Happy Death Day took the idea from Groundhog Day and flipped it on its head. It even referenced its Groundhog Day source material in a moment of unexpected self-awareness. Apparently that's the director's one trick. Here he tries the same feat with Back to the Future, with greatly diminished returns. Once again, the characters directly reference the movie he's re-imagining. This time, more than once. I wonder what's next for this guy? A teenage slasher movie loosely based on Bill and Ted?

The lead girl was a low-rent copy of Jessica Rothe, but she was good enough. Essentially the same character. Same sarcastic/sardonic deadpan stroll through an oddly changing landscape. Instead of the same day over and over, this time it was the same places, but at a different time.  Same "kids come up with some wacky science that bends the space-time continuum."  This time instead of just redoing the same day, you can go back 35 years and redo that day. Same kids who don't act like real kids ever would.

Basic premise is that a high school girl trips back in time to 1987 to try to stop a serial killer from one day murdering her mom (Julie Bowen).  Her mom dies 35 years after the never-caught killer first (and last) struck, so her reasoning is that if she can get back to 1987 and catch him then, he won't eventually return to his slaughter and her mom will be spared.

Biggest problem I had with it is that the film seemingly had no idea whatsoever what happened in 1987. The look was wrong, the feel was wrong, and other than the repetitive "joke" that things then didn't abide by today's ridiculous "it hurts my feelings" sensitivity, the entire 1987 storyline was wasted. 

The main girl wasn't bad. But the movie overall was like you went to Dollar General and bought a DVD copy of what you thought was Happy Death Day, but when you popped it into the VCR you discovered that you'd actually bought "Happy Dearth Day" which was kind of the same, but in the end?  Not.

It's not a bad movie, but in the reflected light of Happy Death Day - and the similarities are too close not to make that comparison - it's just a pale shadow.
« Last Edit: October 08, 2023, 10:08:28 AM by Kaos »
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3386 on: October 08, 2023, 10:49:02 AM »
The Boogeyman

I've read everything Stephen King's every written - in book form, that is, I won't waste my time on his moronic political tweeter views.  I remember this short story from one of the anthology collections because it was a) really short and b) dealt with an event so horrific - child sacrifice -  it was difficult to fathom.

Boogeyman was in Night Shift, which came out in the late 70s, early 80s and was his publisher's effort to jump on the bandwagon of sudden popularity by recycling anything it could find with his name on it.  By the time Night Shift was published, he'd put out Carrie, Salem's Lot, and The Shining. His publisher, having no idea how prolific he would turn out to be, cobbled together every short story of his they could find and rushed this anthology to print with the idea of cashing in on his name before it likely fizzled out. Most of the stories in the book had been previously published in porn magazines, including several in Penthouse. Shortly after Night Shift came The Stand. And then in rapid-fire succession, The Dead Zone, Firestarter, Cujo, and Christine.   

Many of the stories in Night Shift eventually became schlock King films, including Children of the Corn, The Mangler, Trucks (which became the film Maximum Overdrive), Graveyard Shift, and Cat's Eye (which incorporated several of the entries from the book).  And now almost 40 years later, we have the Boogeyman. 

Like many of the Night Shift entries, Boogeyman was first published in a porno mag ($1 to Beastie Boys) before finding its way to the anthology book's pages. I remember reading the 12 pages that made up Boogeyman. It was a short (very short) and quickly efficient bare bones horror tale.  One of those ideas that popped into his head, he wrote the basic frame down, and it he explored it no further.  In a future world, King might have taken this idea and added several hundred thousand words of extraneous fluff and turned it into a novel. Quite honestly, the original Boogeyman story had a better foundation than many of the ideas he did give full novel treatment.

I remember reading this story (and I've re-read it several times over the years) mostly because it was so short and so effective. It was good.

ALL that to say that the movie, other than the names and the basic idea that there's a boogeyman in the closet that murderizes kids, strays so far from the original story that it might as well have been a different work entirely. 
 
Yeah, it tries at the very end to circle back to the 12th page of this brutally efficient horror tale, but by the time it does it's lost its way amid an extraneous pile of additional characters and improbable events to the point that it fails.  And it does so in such a haphazard, half-ass way that it drains all the potential horror out and leaves it in a puddle of pudding on the floor.
 
It's a shame. The film features my favorite member of the Yellow Jackets cast - the girl who plays young Natalie (Sophie Thatcher). She's amazing in Yellow Jackets, but isn't given much to work with here.  She's a much better actress than the bumbling director allowed her to show. She could have done so much more here, but all of her interactions were so astonishingly fake and trite, she just floundered.

The Boogeyman character is fairly well rendered, but the cast and the meandering (made nonsensical from a locational standpoint, when one time you need a ride to get somewhere and the next you can run there in less than two minutes) storyline bleeds too much of the taut effectiveness of the original story out.

Didn't hate it, have seen far worse, but knowing the source material  - as well as knowing what Thatcher is capable of - really took away from what this film could have been. It was never about failing dads or girl power daughters like the film was. It was about Lester's character (relegated to little more than backstory here) being pursued by a relentless boogeyman, and the horrific choices he made to avoid it, only to see it come out of unexpected shadows to stalk its prey. THAT was a much better story.   

I'll never understand why directors and screenwriters look at a King story and go "let's change all this" instead of taking what clearly works on the page and putting it on the screen.
« Last Edit: October 08, 2023, 11:17:48 AM by Kaos »
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3387 on: October 13, 2023, 04:58:09 PM »
Exorcist III

The original Exorcist movie was an experience that changed everything for me.  It terrified me on first watch. It's one of the few horror movies that stand up over time. Even after hundreds upon hundreds of imitators, many with better special effects, that first Exorcist film maintains its place as one of the greatest. It has not diminished. Yes, the initial shock has worn off after seeing it dozens of times, but it is as good as it gets.

Exorcist II?  Umm. No thanks.

Exorcist III tries to right the wrongs of II, which is a monumental task. It tries to get us back to the vibe of the original. It doesn't quite get there, but it's a trippy 70s movie watch.  It's a little like what would happen if you mashed Death Wish (Bronson) with a horror movie.

Want to know how trippy? There's a middle bridge dream sequence that flashes across Samuel L. Jackson briefly (before he was known) and then settles on a somber Patrick Ewing wearing angel wings for a very long beat. 

Scott is his usual snarling, bombastic, dismissive self. He over-emotes with his facial grimaces to the point of farce. But he's still an undeniably powerful presence on the screen. 

Is it worth watching?  Once, maybe.  It's not the kind of thing I'll go back to over and over.  I've seen it. It was a lot to unpack. I can move on.

It's not a bad film, but it leaves a lot to be desired. It doesn't carry near the weight or shock value of the original - but then again, nothing does.
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3388 on: October 13, 2023, 10:24:18 PM »
Wrath of Becky

Becky was a crazy gory surprise that featured Kevin James as a tattooed neo-nazi skinhead. It starred horror mainstay Lulu Wilson (Ouija, Haunting of Hill House, Annabelle, and Deliver Us From Evil) as Becky, who got murderous revenge on a pack of thugs who attacked (and kilt) her family.

Now 18 (in the movie and in real life) Lulu's Becky has grown into a self-reliant, smart ass, kinda bitch honestly, who's just trying to make it.  She's an eye-rolling, sassy waitress who doesn't take any crap from her customers.

Her brassy attitude crosses the wrong people who strike back at her later and ignite her blood-soaked murdery rage yet again.

I could have 100000% done without the "white people are terrorists and the biggest threat to our nation" angle they tossed in completely unnecessarily. In fact, that pretty much ruined the movie for me. Made sure they dropped the word "insurrection" in there just in case we missed the "white men bad" club they were beating us over the head with.

Becky was a surprise. Knowing Becky, this one wasn't.  It was instantly forgettable. In fact it was so forgettable that after I went in the kitchen, got a drink and came back to write this, I had a really hard time even remembering what movie I'd watched. I had to think about it for a while. 

I don't know what Lulu's career path is going to be. She's an attractive girl, but she really needs to find some material outside the horror genre that isn't Becky-related. 

The way this ended, though? Looks like there will most likely be a Becky III.
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3389 on: October 16, 2023, 09:17:07 AM »
The Burial

Movie about a Mississippi funeral home owner who hired a flashy black lawyer to help him win a case against a corporation intent on smothering his business and sending him to ruin. 

Jamie Lee Foxx is the lawyer.
Tommy Lee Jones is the funeral home owner.
Cameron from Ferris Lee Bueller is Tommy Lee Jones' racist family lawyer
Jussie Lee Smollet's sister plays the opposing counsel.  Can't we get rid of that entire family? 

Basic story.  Foxx channels Deion Sanders' self-serving bombastic hype.  Pretty much everybody white in Mississippi is racist and has ties to the bad ol' KKK. Corporation is ripping off poor ol' black folks and gets its comeuppance.


 

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3390 on: October 16, 2023, 09:38:18 AM »
The Burial

Movie about a Mississippi funeral home owner who hired a flashy black lawyer to help him win a case against a corporation intent on smothering his business and sending him to ruin. 

Jamie Lee Foxx is the lawyer.
Tommy Lee Jones is the funeral home owner.
Cameron from Ferris Lee Bueller is Tommy Lee Jones' racist family lawyer
Jussie Lee Smollet's sister plays the opposing counsel.  Can't we get rid of that entire family? 

Basic story.  Foxx channels Deion Sanders' self-serving bombastic hype.  Pretty much everybody white in Mississippi is racist and has ties to the bad ol' KKK. Corporation is ripping off poor ol' black folks and gets its comeuppance.

I think I’ll skip this movie. Thank you for the warning.
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3391 on: October 16, 2023, 10:09:53 AM »
Elvira: Mistress of the Dark

Imagine Footloose if Kevin Bacon had enormous ghostly boobs and a gigantic black beehive hairdo.  And was an accidental witch.  That's the basic premise of Mistress of the Dark.

Elvira slinks into a small Massachusetts town to claim her inheritance after her aunt Morgana dies. Her aunt left her a creepy mansion, weird ass dog, and a book of spells. Her uncle wants the book as part of his plan for world domination.

Of course Elvira doesn't mesh well with the staid townspeople and corrupts their youth.  Eventually the town - at the urging of Elvira's evil uncle and the behest town busybody Edie McClurg - schedules her for execution by being burned at the stake.  Who will save her?

If you ever watched any of Elvira's Movie Macabre, you pretty much know what to expect. This is just a bigger set with a broader setup.  It's still slinky, barely covered boobs, big hair and tongue-in-cheek sexual innuendo.  Like when a letter from a movie marquee falls and hits her and the guy on the ladder who dropped it asks "How's your head?"  Elvira answers "haven't have any complaints." 

Eventually she saves the town from the creepy uncle, gains acceptance and then motors off in her (admittedly pretty awesome) black Thunderbird for new adventures. 

Some things you didn't know:

> This film was originally supposed to be part of the Pee-Wee Herman universe. Cassandra Peterson (Elvira) had played a biker chick in Pee Wee's Big Adventure.  Tim Burton (who directed Big Adventure) was supposed to helm this film but bailed on her to do Beetlejuice. It could have been a much different film if he'd stayed.
> Vincent Price - who was friendly with Cassandra - was supposed to play her uncle but backed out because he wanted her to tone down the sexual overtones - including the boob-swinging tassel dance finale. She declined.
> The movie was supposed to be the precursor for a NBC television series and was produced by Brandon Tartikoff. But he left NBC and it never went further.

It wasn't a terrible movie. It was campy, not intended to be taken seriously. Elvira did Elvira things.  She's interesting to look at. If you like her puns, innuendo, and quips, this is silly and palatable. If not, you won't like it.

For those who care, she's a natural redhead. All over. Prior to becoming Elvira, she did a photo shoot for High Society magazine which features some mind-numbing ding-tingling sexy shots of the then-23-year old. They're easy to find with the googles. Couldn't find a one clean enough to give you a taste here. 
« Last Edit: October 16, 2023, 10:25:21 AM by Kaos »
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3392 on: October 16, 2023, 10:53:57 AM »
Skinnamarink - finally got around to watching this start to finish last night. I don't think it's terrible. But it may be the weirdest most differently formatted horror or thriller movie I've ever seen. In the vein of found footage type movies, set in what I assume to be the early mid 90's. Like a yesteryear's version of Paranormal Activity but much grainier (think an RCA Camcorder circa 1989), the story centers around 2 kids around 5-7 years of age I assume, who wake up in their home and wander around saying random shit in the dark in the middle of the night. No one Is there, no doors, no windows, no nothing, except the OLD cartoons on the tube. I do not think this movie is at face value....I do think it's suppose to be exploring the dream sequence (or nightmare) of a childs mind. That kind of dream where you maybe took a dose and a half of NyQuil and went to bed. Again - weird but I have to give the creator credit for trying something different. There were some parts in it that were thoroughly creepy. But it's mostly vanilla and boring.


The Tank - Saw this one dropped on Hulu in their HULU-Ween collection. Guy's dad dies, Will gets probated, dude finds out dad left him a big chunk of land/island off the Oregon coast. Dude and his wife are shocked but what the hell, let's go check it out. Terrain looks like that in the Goonies. Man and his old lady find a big storage tank under the house deep inside the earth and apparently awaken a creature from there that has evolved over time beneath the earth. Predictable plot, not really scary. Not terrible, not good, but it was free and about 90-100 mins which is my sweet spot for thrillers.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3393 on: October 16, 2023, 11:59:43 AM »
The Fall of the House of Usher

Pretty smart reimaging of this (and several other Poe) properties. Hedging it around the entertainment media's fixation with "Big Pharma" and "Oxy" is a choice, but it mostly works. Sure, there's the heavy-handed neo-socialist bull shoved in there, but can be ignored. This thing works because the cast is phenomenal. Carla Guigino is phenomenal. Bruce Greenwood and (surprisingly) Henry Thomas really sell it.

Worth burning 8 hours or so if you are so inclined.
« Last Edit: October 16, 2023, 12:14:19 PM by The Six »
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3394 on: October 16, 2023, 03:07:28 PM »
I think I’ll skip this movie. Thank you for the warning.

Don’t let me dissuade you.  It’s pretty well acted except for the out-of-her-depth Smollet woman. 

I’m just sensitive to and tired of the ‘black savior’ movies and white characters all being racists wirh KKK ties. 

The Klan was not the all encompassing boogeyman it’s made out to be by idiot yankee/west coast directors. Just a convenient spectre.

Yeah, it was a thing.  Yeah, a lot of your grandparents and great grandparents were involved. 

But as someone here said recently… not all klansmen were terrorists. There were some good ones. Peaceful. They were just fighting to hold on to their land and against outside oppression. 

The klan hasn’t been widespread, organized or effective in over 60 years.  But let’s keep trotting out those white sheets and covering every white southerner with them. 

That irritated me. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3395 on: October 16, 2023, 03:45:55 PM »
Don’t let me dissuade you.  It’s pretty well acted except for the out-of-her-depth Smollet woman. 

I’m just sensitive to and tired of the ‘black savior’ movies and white characters all being racists wirh KKK ties. 

The Klan was not the all encompassing boogeyman it’s made out to be by idiot yankee/west coast directors. Just a convenient spectre.

Yeah, it was a thing.  Yeah, a lot of your grandparents and great grandparents were involved. 

But as someone here said recently… not all klansmen were terrorists. There were some good ones. Peaceful. They were just fighting to hold on to their land and against outside oppression. 

The klan hasn’t been widespread, organized or effective in over 60 years.  But let’s keep trotting out those white sheets and covering every white southerner with them. 

That irritated me.

Clayton Bigsby was a badass.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3396 on: October 16, 2023, 08:43:48 PM »
The Fall of the House of Usher

Pretty smart reimaging of this (and several other Poe) properties. Hedging it around the entertainment media's fixation with "Big Pharma" and "Oxy" is a choice, but it mostly works. Sure, there's the heavy-handed neo-socialist bull shoved in there, but can be ignored. This thing works because the cast is phenomenal. Carla Guigino is phenomenal. Bruce Greenwood and (surprisingly) Henry Thomas really sell it.

Worth burning 8 hours or so if you are so inclined.

Not a huge fan of modern adaptations of old classics. Especially that Christmas Carole bullcrap several years ago. But I admit I’ll watch Gugino in almost anything. Yum.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3397 on: October 18, 2023, 06:47:35 AM »
Heist 88

Problem with streaming is you end up watching things out of boredom. 

This film wanted to be Ocean's 11.  More like Puddle 2. 

Based on true story supposedly.  Back in 88, master criminal ropes in his estranged nephew and a bunch of his friends in a scheme to rob a bank of a couple hundred million. 

Should have been entertaining but it was just so flat and dry it failed to connect. 

It was like a bowl of oatmeal with no cinnamon, sugar, milk, cap'n crunch, or anything else with flavor.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3398 on: October 26, 2023, 05:35:43 AM »
No Hard Feelings

Jennifer Lawrence is hot and hilarious in this one. I watched the whole movie waiting for and expecting woke agendas to be shoved in my face, but it was really quite the opposite. Crude humor (my favorite kind), outlandish plot points that were littered with well timed punch lines, Andrew Barth Feldman playing the role of a nerdy, awkward teen so well, and Jen’s chesticles making a guest appearance put this movie in the “worth a watch” category. Netflix original, and could make your eyes wet with joy if paired with a treat from Wes’s brown bag.
« Last Edit: October 26, 2023, 05:37:16 AM by Snakebite »
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3399 on: October 26, 2023, 07:23:14 AM »
Pet Semetary: Bloodlines

Didn't hate it. Didn't love it.

A kind of decent but ultimately not really necessary backstory for Judd Crandall and the whole "well, they're back" Semetary storyline. 

Turned Judd from a helpful old neighbor who's seen things into a watchful gargoyle - which, in a way, changes how you'd see/think of him in the movies that happen later. 

If you know Pet Semetary, you pretty much know what's going to happen - with a few minor tweaks here and there.

Several people you've seen before in other things.  Like a REALLY puffy Pam Grier (Foxy Brown), Samantha Mathis, David Duchovny, and Henry Thomas.

All of the younger characters are relative unknowns. Part of the problem with the film is the guy playing Judd. Wife-beater, muscle car Judd just lacks charisma. That hurts the film. 

Probably worth watching.
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