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Kaos' way behind movie reviews

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2600 on: April 02, 2018, 08:42:36 AM »
Ready Player One

This movie is tailor-made for the Imax/3D experience.

Loads of action via video-game style play or battle scenes and more brand/icon callbacks than you can count (seriously, I think you'd have to watch this 20 times to catch every reference they made.)  It was a fun, popcorn movie (disclaimer: I have no relationship with the source material) and I'd encourage you to see it on the big screen if you're inclined to see this one at all.

My biggest takeaway: the brand-licensing had to be the single biggest line-item on the budget.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2601 on: April 04, 2018, 11:11:11 PM »
Star Wars: The Last Jedi

I'm not done with it.  But this is the dumbest thing I’ve watched in a while.

EDIT:  I finished the movie, the level of dumbness never really abated.  I was really stunned at how consistently lazy this movie was.  

It has none of the charm or simplicity of the original trilogy.

Finn sucks.  Rey is tolerable but that’s it.  Poe is a caricature.  Luke is an overacting ham. Kylo is about as intimidating as a cashier at Target.  

At least the original trilogy had some self-effacing flair.  This was just a bubble-gum wad of overwrought faux earnestness and hokum.  Everything seemed staged, forced and calculated.  The 'emotional' scenes didn't have a scintilla of honesty. The "clever quips" fell completely flat. Even the stupid little bird/bears were designed for a specific marketing purpose and lacked honesty.  

Don't get me started on the "they're tracking us, we only have a few hours left... let's get into a shuttle and fly across the galaxy where we can ride goofy horse creatures and crash a big party" storyline stupidity.  Just a complete lack of cohesiveness.  

Not worth the hype. A big old pile of DUMB.  
« Last Edit: April 05, 2018, 10:26:18 AM by Kaos »
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2602 on: April 07, 2018, 02:35:54 AM »
I’m 90% sure that Matt Nook is Kylo Ren. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2603 on: April 07, 2018, 01:22:01 PM »
Took some time off and watched the Ken Burn's 7 part film The War. Found myself getting teary eyed many times through the accounts of those who lived it. It was incredibly long with recurring themes of which two in particular seemed purposefully employed as a means to illicit guilt about racial inequality. Nevertheless it was both educational and honest as a historical account of the ultimate sacrifice for freedom.  


Also watched Spielberg's Lincoln which I really enjoyed. 
SPOILER ALERT:
Negroes fought in this one as well.
There were however no oriental folk present in this picture.
Seriously though... Daniel Day Lewis captured the mood of how I always imagined Abe to be and the well placed humor make this one a new favorite even though it was made in 2012.  


Others:
The Ritual **
A Futile and Stupid Gesture *** 
Inglourious Basterds **



  
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2604 on: April 08, 2018, 01:04:21 AM »
The Quiet Place

A very different movie.  Not horror per se,  but more of a situational tension.  

There were some glaring holes, but I won't bother with detailing them.  To make this movie work you just have to sort of say "ehhh, well... whatever" and move on.  

Jim Halpert was pretty good.  So, too, was Emily Blunt.  She's hit or miss and here she was more hit than miss.  

The gaps in logic kept it from really reaching where it could have.  

Worth the look, though.  Better in a theater than it will be at home. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2605 on: April 09, 2018, 08:55:26 AM »
Insidious: The Last Key

Blum House keeps churning out mediocre, lukewarm horror and this is no exception to their formulaic slog through threadbare horror tropes.  

The movie lost me when the elderly Elise traveled back to her childhood home -- and found it dusty but exactly as it had been 84 years (or whatever) before but just covered with dust.  Same chair, same beds, same pictures on the wall, same toys, same canned food in the basement.  No.  I couldn't get past that.  The rest of the movie was ruined for me because of that. 

This was a muddled mish mash of yawn-inducing nonsense. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2606 on: April 09, 2018, 01:45:43 PM »
Happy Death Day
I didn't expect much from this movie.  I was pleasantly surprised.  Don't get me wrong, it's no cinematic classic, but it does what it does well enough to be entertaining.  

The basic storyline is exactly as the trailers show:  Birthday girl dies every day and then wakes back up where it all began to start the day over again.  Yes.  Groundhog Day but with a murder tossed in.  The movie smartly even references its own ancestor toward the end.  

Along the way this trifling little film offered some deeper observations about how a person might view his own life if given the chance to fix the little mistakes that plague our everyday relationships.  

The central character, played by Jessica Rothe (who will soon star as Julie in the remake of one of my favorite 80s teen movies Valley Girl) does a pretty adequate job of displaying the appropriate emotions as she gradually transitions from self-absorbed sorority whore to a more selfless, honest, real person over the course of the same day on repeat.  It's a pretty neat trick for a character you want to just die early on to bring you around to her side and even move you just a little with some contrived emotional scenes.  Watching her grow from a miserable bitch to a reasonably happy person was well done.  

The movie has a handful of amusing moments and keeps the identity of the true villain under wraps about as long as it possibly can.  

Not a great movie.  Had its flaws.  But it was better than I expected.  I'm glad I watched it.  It's assloads better than The Snowman.
I agree...glad I watched it.  RedBox $2.   
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2607 on: April 12, 2018, 09:07:52 AM »
I agree...glad I watched it.  RedBox $2.  
1 down,   753 classics left to go.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2608 on: April 14, 2018, 01:18:56 PM »
Star Wars in general

TNT has the whole series on "in order" I suppose.  

Revenge of the Sith has major flaws in the acting and dialogue.  It's really, really, really bad.  It is, however, really well done from a visual standpoint.  It's a far superior overall visual product than the two most recent.  

So I'm going to now rank them.  

8. Worst overall -- despite some occasionally really good visual effects -- is Phantom Menace.  The kid playing Anakin was the first to be drummed out of the craft for his awful efforts.  Trying to jam in the fraudulent note that baby Darth actually built 3PO is obnoxious. Racist Jar Jar was a major blunder.  If this had been the first Star Wars movie, there would be no others to rank.  It was that bad.  

7. The Last Jedi - Stupid story, horrible acting, a major step backward in visual effects.  This movie had NOTHING.  Nothing but hokey lines delivered poorly and asinine storylines that defied even suspended sense.  Kylo Ren was almost Hayden-level bad.  Clearly is now a story so in love with its own mythology that it can't get out of its own way and make a fun movie.  Far too long and overcome with dumb. 

6. Attack of the Clones - Far too much going on.  A CGI fascination that bubbled over into cacophony. No real story to care about, noting but business and noise.  And jar jar.  Thank God there was the noise because the story was so bad it reminded me of something a love-sick eighth grader would write.  Wooden lines delivered woodenly by wooden actors.  Boo. 

5. Force Awakens - Without the nostalgia of Han and Chewie, this would have fallen way back in the pack.  It's essentially a retelling of A New Hope (let's blow up a Death Star) with worse dialogue, less fun and more overwrought silliness.  The new Vader was a horrible choice.  Neither Rey nor Finn resonated.  It's not going to hold up over time. 

4. Return of the Jedi - Would have been higher without the stupid Ewoks and the eventually re-configured ghostly images at the end.  Would have been much worse without the slave-Leia which sustained me for years.  With all the crazy characters, it was like Jim Henson had bought the rights.  All that was missing was Elmo and the two old grouchy guys up in the balcony ridiculing it. 

3.  Revenge of Sith -  I hate to put this here because the script was terrible and the acting was worse than a porno parody.  Hayden Christensen became the second actor all but hounded out of the business for his awful effort playing Anakin. But the concept was good.  Even though the story was stupid, the overly busy CGI of Attack of the Clones was reined in.  Yoda was given a story that tied things together (and was rendered pretty well). Vader's creation was shown -- even if horribly acted by Hayden and McGregor who both looked like they were choking on their clunky lines -- and that story needed to be told.  I still refuse to believe Obi would have just walked away from a flaming Anakin leaving him to roast in agony, so that was dumber than diddly squid, but still at least it gave faux credence to Vader's heartless hate.  Every performance in this movie was hack-level bad. Still, the movie looks good and it contained pieces that were important to the pantheon in general, so with reluctance, I land it here. 

2. New Hope - One of the most important movies of its time. A game changer on so many levels.  It introduced so many things that are iconic to the series: X-wings, storm troopers, wookies, Milennium Falcon, Tie Fighters, Death Stars, Vader, Leia, Luke, Solo, death stars, 3PO, R2, the empire, the rebellion.  It was, and remains, a fantastic movie.  No it doesn't have the same impact 30 years later probably, but it was a marvel in its day. It was a near perfect mix of drama and comedy,  It created an entire world.  In terms of importance, it's clearly number one in the series.  It would even be the best overall if not for.....

1. Empire - It wasn't as important, wasn't as fun, wasn't as life-altering.  But it was a better movie with better lines, better performances and a grandeur that A New Hope didn't have.  That's the only reason I put it here. It was deeper, broader and had a bigger story to tell. 




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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2609 on: April 15, 2018, 03:04:17 PM »
Dr Strange 

Figured I'd better watch this because it's part of the Marvel tapestry and Infinity Wars opens in about two weeks. 

Humperdink Difflebatch looks the part, but I really didn't connect with his character.  

It didn't hit all the marks like Thor Raginicrocook did, but it at least tried to have some humor here and there.  It just didn't land. 

When it was over I was like:  "Well, that wasn't bad but I have no idea what I just watched."  

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2610 on: April 16, 2018, 04:51:55 PM »
Star Wars in general
I'd swap Jedi/Sith, and I think I would have TPM over AOTC and TLJ, simply because of Maul.  
I'd also throw Rogue One in between Sith and TFA.
Not sure what to think about Solo... Trailer has me interested.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2611 on: April 21, 2018, 12:34:56 PM »
I'd swap Jedi/Sith, and I think I would have TPM over AOTC and TLJ, simply because of Maul.  
I'd also throw Rogue One in between Sith and TFA.
Not sure what to think about Solo... Trailer has me interested.
One of the reasons I have TMP so low is because Maul was -- at least to me -- ridiculous.  It was a guy painted up in red KISS makeup.  He wasn't intimidating, he wasn't much of anything really.  And then he was gone.  No other character in any of the entire series looks like that again.   
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2612 on: April 21, 2018, 12:55:08 PM »
Paterno

HBO movie featuring Michael Corleone as Joe Paterno.  

The film starts as the Sandusky revelations break and follow the story to the end of Paterno's tenure (and a little beyond).  

Tony Montana does a pretty credible job of capturing Paterno's look and feel.  The voice is a little off, but it's easy to buy him as the elderly coach shuffling stoop shouldered through the end of his days.  

The film sticks mostly to the middle of the road. It stops short of really condemning anybody, but lays out the basic timeline and the internal efforts to make it go away --  or at the very least hope it would just fade away.  

It portrays Paterno as so focused on football that he really didn't care much what was going on outside the lines. Assault a couple of kids in the shower?  What?  We have to play Iowa this week, can we focus on that please? He defended Sandusky far longer than he should have and did so primarily to preserve his own perception.    

It also portrays the Penn State fanbase as somewhat culpable and complicit.  They were willing to look the other way until forced to deal with the realities. There's still a fairly large contingent that wants to separate Paterno from this scandal and restore his legacy and reputation.  This film is not going to help their cause.  

It does leave some room to have sympathy for Paterno although I'm not really sure any longer that he deserved it.  If the movie is accurate he probably didn't do anything you could categorize as completely wrong, but he definitely washed his hands of it when he was probably the only person in the mix who could have done something meaningful about the situation. It's my personal opinion that everything comes back to him. He should have done more.

The cast is uniformly good. The short shorts girl from Logan Lucky (who is Elvis' granddaughter) proves she's more than just an ass in white boots with a quality job as the lead reporter.  Alexandra Borgia from Law and Order has little to do but look concerned as Paterno's daughter.  Jill Brock from Picket Fences stands by her man as Paterno's wife. But it's Sonny Wortzik as Paterno that carries the film.  He's so absorbed in the role that you forget Serpico isn't Paterno.  


In watching this I was drawn to wonder how far the state media and fans would go to defend Saban if it were discovered that Scott Cochran was murdering puppies, kittens and unicorns and Saban knew about it all along. I honestly believe they'd first try to bury it.  I'd be surprised if word ever even got out.  But if it did? They'd then defend it until their last breath.  He's just keeping the animal population down. Those poor creatures were going to suffer until he humanely interceded.  

Had this happened at Alabama there would have been no intrepid, dogged reporter digging out the story.  There would be a horrific accident and a dead body. The reporter would choke on a salad and fall up a flight of stairs to her death.  There would be a trail of cash payoffs to possible victims the size of which would choke a small country, but nobody would bother to investigate them.  In Alabama, at Alabama, this story would simply have vanished and the statues would still stand.  

« Last Edit: April 21, 2018, 01:04:47 PM by Kaos »
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2613 on: April 21, 2018, 11:42:37 PM »
War For the Planet of the Apes

I was heavily invested in the old movies.  Loved the original with Charlton Heston and Roddy McDowell.  Also Nova.  Yes. Nova.  

I was ambivalent about the Mark Wahlberg - Tim Burton remake.  I didn't like the reboot with James Franco very much at all, but was encouraged by the second installment.  I thought it was pretty good and struck a nice balance.  

This one?  I just couldn't get behind.  I'd rather have Roddy McDowell or Tim Roth wearing prosthetics than the complete over-reliance on CGI that muddled up this movie.  When you have to do so much of it I understand the need to just get by in some areas.  But some of the CGI in this film was completely atrocious.  Some of the movie had a basic realism in the CGI laden scenes, some of the time it was an absolute marvel to behold. Then at other times it looked like a bad version of Shrek or some other Pixarish film.  That's a major issue for me.

This is a very dark story that takes from a number of movies from the past -- Josey Wales, Apocalypse Now, Platoon, and more -- and gives those pieces an ape twist.  It also seems to be trying to reach back to the original Heston version in some of the directions it takes and the imagery it presents. The apes ties to the X-cross is a direct callback to the Heston film. And they tossed in a little nod to Nova, too.  

It's just not a fun movie.  It's very serious and obviously trying to make some larger statement about the world as a whole.  I'd rather my apes movies be fun.   This was just bleak.  Not bad, per se, but bleak and inconsistent.   
« Last Edit: April 22, 2018, 12:07:52 AM by Kaos »
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2614 on: April 28, 2018, 02:01:10 AM »
Avengers: Infinity War

Marvel finally succumbed to its own (perphaps inevitable) bloat.  This was a disappointing movie.  Not disappointing on the scale of Justice League, but disappointing nonetheless.  

Iron Man was a near perfect superhero movie.  It told a single focused story built on credible real-life situations. It had emotion, it had heart, it had humor. Same for Guardians I.  Same for the first Avengers movie, although it stretched the seams a bit even then.  

This was a massive swollen morass of multiple somewhat interconnected storylines. It was too much. It took things too far.  Way too many stories, far too many characters to adequately manage, just too much going on.  And so much of it was silly.  This should have been three or four separate movies each telling just a part of the story.  

It took everyone and everything away from what makes them watchable and shoehorned them into sets where their strengths were wasted.  Iron Man creating a suit of nano-tech that is essentially skin?  And flying off into space with Spiderman?  Thor hanging out with Groot?  It was just wrong.  All of it.  

These films are the best when they allow the fantastic actors who inhabit the characters to play off each other and solve world problems that could ostensibly exist.  This swelled up muddle?  Nope.  

I didn't hate it.  I simply didn't like it.  Between the previews and the stupendously long end credits that led up to a less-than-satisfying post-scene I was sitting in a packed theater for over three hours.  This wasn't the Godfather.  Not worth that investment in time.  The guy behind us was snoring. Several people around me lost interest and started checking their phones.  

I want a fun story where people become better together than they were apart, and a story that provides a satisfying resolution.  I got none of that.  Instead I got to the end of this overly-long slog through the mumbo-jumblo bag of tricks and thought "what the piss did I just watch?"  IMO, this is one of the worst entries in the Marvel pantheon.  

Speaking of Pantheon?  Watching this film convinced me that there is no way I will ever, ever, ever, ever watch Black Panther.  His suit looked stupid as balls.  And there's no way I could sit through hours of that stilted "meesa wanna ooola boola" fake tribal babble.  The lines delivered by the Wakandians in this movie were cringe-worthy.  I can't imagine a full movie of that.  Won't.  
« Last Edit: April 28, 2018, 02:05:09 AM by Kaos »
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2615 on: April 29, 2018, 09:49:55 PM »

Had this happened at Alabama there would have been no intrepid, dogged reporter digging out the story.  There would be a horrific accident and a dead body. The reporter would choke on a salad and fall up a flight of stairs to her death.  There would be a trail of cash payoffs to possible victims the size of which would choke a small country, but nobody would bother to investigate them.  In Alabama, at Alabama, this story would simply have vanished and the statues would still stand.  
You forgot the part where Auburn gets nailed (not for any actual cheating we are doing like everyone else) but for some third string linebacker getting an extra large fries with the team meal which results in forfeiting 40 wins and 6 years probation. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2616 on: May 01, 2018, 11:55:10 PM »
Le Mis

I think that's the french word for "terrible."  

Maybe the Broadway show is great.  I don't know and now have no interest in finding out.  

The movie gargles dirty hairy balls.  I hated it.  I hated every single second of it.  
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2617 on: May 02, 2018, 08:27:08 AM »
Avengers: Infinity War

Marvel finally succumbed to its own (perphaps inevitable) bloat.  This was a disappointing movie.  Not disappointing on the scale of Justice League, but disappointing nonetheless.  

Iron Man was a near perfect superhero movie.  It told a single focused story built on credible real-life situations. It had emotion, it had heart, it had humor. Same for Guardians I.  Same for the first Avengers movie, although it stretched the seams a bit even then.  

This was a massive swollen morass of multiple somewhat interconnected storylines. It was too much. It took things too far.  Way too many stories, far too many characters to adequately manage, just too much going on.  And so much of it was silly.  This should have been three or four separate movies each telling just a part of the story.  

It took everyone and everything away from what makes them watchable and shoehorned them into sets where their strengths were wasted.  Iron Man creating a suit of nano-tech that is essentially skin?  And flying off into space with Spiderman?  Thor hanging out with Groot?  It was just wrong.  All of it.  

These films are the best when they allow the fantastic actors who inhabit the characters to play off each other and solve world problems that could ostensibly exist.  This swelled up muddle?  Nope.  

I didn't hate it.  I simply didn't like it.  Between the previews and the stupendously long end credits that led up to a less-than-satisfying post-scene I was sitting in a packed theater for over three hours.  This wasn't the Godfather.  Not worth that investment in time.  The guy behind us was snoring. Several people around me lost interest and started checking their phones.  

I want a fun story where people become better together than they were apart, and a story that provides a satisfying resolution.  I got none of that.  Instead I got to the end of this overly-long slog through the mumbo-jumblo bag of tricks and thought "what the piss did I just watch?"  IMO, this is one of the worst entries in the Marvel pantheon.  

Speaking of Pantheon?  Watching this film convinced me that there is no way I will ever, ever, ever, ever watch Black Panther.  His suit looked stupid as balls.  And there's no way I could sit through hours of that stilted "meesa wanna ooola boola" fake tribal babble.  The lines delivered by the Wakandians in this movie were cringe-worthy.  I can't imagine a full movie of that.  Won't.  
I liked the movie.  The only part I thought was forced and kind of crammed into it was Thor making Stormbreaker.  Thought they could have probably done that at the end of Ragnarock.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2618 on: May 02, 2018, 01:42:20 PM »
Avengers: Infinity War

Marvel finally succumbed to its own (perphaps inevitable) bloat.  This was a disappointing movie.  Not disappointing on the scale of Justice League, but disappointing nonetheless.  

Iron Man was a near perfect superhero movie.  It told a single focused story built on credible real-life situations. It had emotion, it had heart, it had humor. Same for Guardians I.  Same for the first Avengers movie, although it stretched the seams a bit even then.  

This was a massive swollen morass of multiple somewhat interconnected storylines. It was too much. It took things too far.  Way too many stories, far too many characters to adequately manage, just too much going on.  And so much of it was silly.  This should have been three or four separate movies each telling just a part of the story.  

It took everyone and everything away from what makes them watchable and shoehorned them into sets where their strengths were wasted.  Iron Man creating a suit of nano-tech that is essentially skin?  And flying off into space with Spiderman?  Thor hanging out with Groot?  It was just wrong.  All of it.  

These films are the best when they allow the fantastic actors who inhabit the characters to play off each other and solve world problems that could ostensibly exist.  This swelled up muddle?  Nope.  

I didn't hate it.  I simply didn't like it.  Between the previews and the stupendously long end credits that led up to a less-than-satisfying post-scene I was sitting in a packed theater for over three hours.  This wasn't the Godfather.  Not worth that investment in time.  The guy behind us was snoring. Several people around me lost interest and started checking their phones.  

I want a fun story where people become better together than they were apart, and a story that provides a satisfying resolution.  I got none of that.  Instead I got to the end of this overly-long slog through the mumbo-jumblo bag of tricks and thought "what the piss did I just watch?"  IMO, this is one of the worst entries in the Marvel pantheon.  

Speaking of Pantheon?  Watching this film convinced me that there is no way I will ever, ever, ever, ever watch Black Panther.  His suit looked stupid as balls.  And there's no way I could sit through hours of that stilted "meesa wanna ooola boola" fake tribal babble.  The lines delivered by the Wakandians in this movie were cringe-worthy.  I can't imagine a full movie of that.  Won't.  
I will say you do bring up one point which made me think more about the presentation of the movie.  Since the movie is nearly 3 hours long and filled with multiple story arcs you wonder if it could have been split into 2 movies.  One now and one in December before the final conclusion next year.  Would it have made more money? 

A logical arc break could have been
May Movie -Thor and Guardians, Making of Stormbreaker, and search for 2 stones [BREAK]
Dec Movie - 5th stone, Battle on Titan, Final battle.
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chinook

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2619 on: May 02, 2018, 01:49:27 PM »
I will say you do bring up one point which made me think more about the presentation of the movie.  Since the movie is nearly 3 hours long and filled with multiple story arcs you wonder if it could have been split into 2 movies.  One now and one in December before the final conclusion next year.  Would it have made more money?

A logical arc break could have been
May Movie -Thor and Guardians, Making of Stormbreaker, and search for 2 stones [BREAK]
Dec Movie - 5th stone, Battle on Titan, Final battle.
ugggghh your scenario would have added 2 movies to my list.
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