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Kaos' way behind movie reviews

Snaggletiger

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1480 on: November 05, 2013, 10:49:58 AM »
You just related because they were old, didn't you?

I bet they drove up the strip in their super keen sexpedition.

I drive a Nissan Crotch Grinder now.  And yes, I am old.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

GH2001

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1481 on: November 05, 2013, 11:05:40 AM »
I drive a Nissan Crotch Grinder now.  And yes, I am old.

You don't talk about my Dodge Status like that! I'm a division mgr. I am very important.
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WDE

dallaswareagle

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1482 on: November 05, 2013, 04:33:17 PM »
Took in Last Vegas this weekend.  No spoiler here in telling you it's basically another in a long line of "We've got 2 days in Vegas to cram every bit of debauchery possible in so what happens in Vegas...."  Been there, done that.  But, with 4 guys who have a few years of acting under their collective belts, there were some bits of comedy gold here and there.  In fact, we always kid about "You owe me a monitor" on here.  That was honestly the first time I actually lost it and spewed diet coke after a one line. 

Overall, a pretty solid comedy.  Not much of a story line, but chortles a plenty.

You just related because they were old, didn't you?

I bet they drove up the strip in their super keen sexpedition.

All others are just keen unless its mine.


Mens X-gate one weekend in Vegas?
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1483 on: November 17, 2013, 01:37:36 PM »
Two movies I didn't want to watch, but enjoyed more than I expected to. 

Pitch Perfect
We've seen this movie a thousand times.  It's every cliched teen/college competition movie rolled into one. It stole liberally from things like Krush Groove, Step Up, Stomp the Yard, Drumline (which was interesting in its own way), You Got Served, Bring It On, School of Rock and every other trite movie of that ilk.  The characters were stereotypical, stale even.  The story a complete ripoff.

But the general likability of most of the cast saved this bland effort. Anna Kendrick did a good job with terrible lines, atrocious setups and ridiculous situations. The creepy Chinese girl who ate her own twin had a good line or two. Brittany Snow was adequate. The two competition announcers (one was Elizabeth Banks) hammed it way up, basically letting the viewing audience know the entire premise was absurd and a joke. The actors were able to rise above the terrible writing, poor directing and shoddy cinematography.

The one I didn't like was the fat blonde one.  Granted she's less offensively annoying than bug-eyed, vein-popping, obnoxiously loud hippo Melissa McCarthy who really has only one grating character, but if the Fat Amy goo tub hopes to have a legitimate career she's going to have to come up with something other than ripping her shirt off (which was, I hear, the entire premise of her probably soon-to-be cancelled sitcom).  Ignorantly enough the blonde Australian compares the blisteringly low ratings of her brain-dead show to the series arc of Seinfeld -- which had layers and more than one repetitive joke. So she's dumb, too. Hated her in this movie and pretty much hate her in everything she's in.

Still, Anna Kendrick and her frequently teased cleavage rallied this film. (see below)



Warm Bodies
Warm Bodies featured a blond Australian import. The antithesis of Fat Patricia, the blonde in Warm Bodies is the absolutely adorable Teresa Palmer. (See below) She can look a little Kristen Stewarty at times, but she's got 100x the acting chops of the Twilight twit.  Then again so does Scott Baio, so there's that.

Different take on a zombie story. Some sort of ridiculous plotlines and some silly action, but as it was designed for teens coming off the Twilight high and searching for another fix, it worked for what it was.  It was ten million times better than all the Twilight movies put together. Then again, so was Caddyshack 2 (and that movie didn't even exist) so there's that.   

Neither movie is what I'd call "must see" or even "waste time with" but I watched both and didn't die. 

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Snaggletiger

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1484 on: November 18, 2013, 10:54:53 AM »
Sat up Friday night for some reason and watched Liam Neeson's "Unknown".  Hadn't really ever followed his career and didn't know who he was until I came across the first "Taken".  Guarantee I've watched Taken 5 times now.  If it's reasonably well done, I love the one-man army flicks. 

Hey, you can't come in here. Who are y.....crack, slam....ball point pen to the throat. 

I recall some of the previews for Unknown but didn't really remember what it was supposed to be about.  I just knew Neeson's character lost his identity and there were bad guys trying to kill him.  Perfect scenario.  He'll get enough of his memory back to realize he's really a trained assassin and start offing bad guys.

Whack, slam....head stuffed in a sandwich steamer.

Nope.  This was the most pitiful, piece of crap I've ever sat through.  His character was always shaking and scared, running from the baddies.  The whole thing was hard to follow and they never really fleshed out the reasons someone stole his identity.  Why was someone posing as him and boinking his wife?  Best I could tell, it had something to do with corn.  Anyway, Neeson never turned badass and the movie just sucked scrotum.  Just a bunch of German...French...hard to understand Swiss people, chasing each other around.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Vandy Vol

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1485 on: November 18, 2013, 03:25:06 PM »
The whole thing was hard to follow and they never really fleshed out the reasons someone stole his identity.  Why was someone posing as him and boinking his wife?  Best I could tell, it had something to do with corn.  Anyway, Neeson never turned badass and the movie just sucked scrotum.  Just a bunch of German...French...hard to understand Swiss people, chasing each other around.

Did you watch it until the end?  He turns into a badass for the last fight scene, which is also around the time that they fully explain why his identity was taken instead of flashing random memory sequences.
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"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin

Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1486 on: November 19, 2013, 08:00:41 AM »
Beasts of the Southern Wild

Maybe I'm just not smart, cultured or deep enough because my reaction to this movie was

Whaaaaaat?

The kid was good in a sassy black kid way, but not overacting sassy black like that insufferable bug-eyed shrimp on Disney's Jessie (a completely intolerable show, all of those kids should be neutered then sent to a birthday party at John Wayne Gacy's house).  But other than that? 

Whaaaaaaat?
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1487 on: November 19, 2013, 09:38:30 AM »
Did you watch it until the end?  He turns into a badass for the last fight scene, which is also around the time that they fully explain why his identity was taken instead of flashing random memory sequences.

I did watch til the end and he was still getting his ass kicked until the girl saved him.  And the explanation wasn't worth 2 hours of watching him play the opposite role of his character in Taken.  Bad asses kick ass.  Jason Statham acts a little and kicks ass the rest of the time.  Stallone mumbles incoherently, then kills 127 Vietnamese with a bow and arrow.  Chuck Norris would round house kick his driver's license back in his wallet.   
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Vandy Vol

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1488 on: November 19, 2013, 04:28:28 PM »
I did watch til the end and he was still getting his ass kicked until the girl saved him.  And the explanation wasn't worth 2 hours of watching him play the opposite role of his character in Taken.  Bad asses kick ass.  Jason Statham acts a little and kicks ass the rest of the time.  Stallone mumbles incoherently, then kills 127 Vietnamese with a bow and arrow.  Chuck Norris would round house kick his driver's license back in his wallet.   

I agree that the movie was more mystery oriented than action oriented, which may not be your thing or what you were expecting.  But I still want to know how much you drank throughout the movie, because the girl (Diane Kruger) definitely didn't save him in the last fight scene when he finally recalls everything.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1489 on: November 19, 2013, 04:40:55 PM »
I agree that the movie was more mystery oriented than action oriented, which may not be your thing or what you were expecting.  But I still want to know how much you drank throughout the movie, because the girl (Diane Kruger) definitely didn't save him in the last fight scene when he finally recalls everything.

It was a Friday night so yes, I had partaken of the drankage.  And she did save his ass.  She walked in just before Neeson jabbed the shard of glass through the baddies neck.  I wanted to see her tits. 


Okay, I have no idea what that has to do with saving him.  But I wanted to see her naughty bits.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Vandy Vol

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1490 on: November 19, 2013, 04:44:10 PM »
It was a Friday night so yes, I had partaken of the drankage.  And she did save his ass.  She walked in just before Neeson jabbed the shard of glass through the baddies neck.  I wanted to see her tits. 


Okay, I have no idea what that has to do with saving him.  But I wanted to see her naughty bits.

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Snaggletiger

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1491 on: November 19, 2013, 05:00:31 PM »
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1492 on: November 20, 2013, 12:05:25 PM »
2 Guns

Wanted to see it in theaters.  Didn't.  Was sort of looking forward to the DVD release because I like Washington and I mostly like Marky Mark and I hoped the pairing would provide some good action flick chemistry. 

It sort of did. It sort of didn't. 

Absolutely ridiculous plot. Other than Denzel/Wahlberg the characters were comic book pulp, and completely overplayed.

Olmos was a caricature. Bill Paxton was a version of the same guy he played in True Lies.

Film struggled with pacing, struggled with contrived plot and utterly preposterous setups, struggled with actors not knowing what to do, struggled with continuity and just struggled overall.

It never got to the farce level that would have made the Wash/Wahl dynamic work, never devolved into gritty action because of the Wash/Wahl dynamic and ended up a completely muddled mess.  It just failed to deliver in a big way.

Denzel is better than this. So is Marky. 
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GH2001

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1493 on: November 20, 2013, 03:51:04 PM »
2 Guns

Wanted to see it in theaters.  Didn't.  Was sort of looking forward to the DVD release because I like Washington and I mostly like Marky Mark and I hoped the pairing would provide some good action flick chemistry. 

It sort of did. It sort of didn't. 

Absolutely ridiculous plot. Other than Denzel/Wahlberg the characters were comic book pulp, and completely overplayed.

Olmos was a caricature. Bill Paxton was a version of the same guy he played in True Lies.

Film struggled with pacing, struggled with contrived plot and utterly preposterous setups, struggled with actors not knowing what to do, struggled with continuity and just struggled overall.

It never got to the farce level that would have made the Wash/Wahl dynamic work, never devolved into gritty action because of the Wash/Wahl dynamic and ended up a completely muddled mess.  It just failed to deliver in a big way.

Denzel is better than this. So is Marky.

Denzel is the man

Speaking of, have you or anyone else seen Flight?
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1494 on: November 20, 2013, 04:26:28 PM »
Should be reviewed here already.
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dallaswareagle

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1495 on: November 20, 2013, 04:31:28 PM »
Denzel is the man

Speaking of, have you or anyone else seen Flight?


I saw the Russian version on-line a couple of days ago.
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

wesfau2

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1496 on: November 20, 2013, 04:47:09 PM »

I saw the Russian version on-line a couple of days ago.

Excellent.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

dallaswareagle

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1497 on: November 20, 2013, 04:49:14 PM »

I saw the Russian version on-line a couple of days ago.

Excellent.


I heard about 50 people really gave a nose thumbs down.
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

GH2001

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1498 on: November 20, 2013, 08:09:51 PM »
Should be reviewed here already.

I'll check it out.

Just saw it. Was curious how your take on it was.
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WDE

Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #1499 on: November 20, 2013, 08:17:14 PM »
Excellent.

Is it on Netflix by the same name?
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole