Kaos' way behind movie reviews

GH2001 · « **Reply #920 on:** January 03, 2012, 01:37:52 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on January 03, 2012, 01:31:08 PM

Seedbox = vagina.

Explain, Lucy.

Ok, I LOL'ed at that one.

JR4AU · « **Reply #921 on:** January 04, 2012, 02:00:41 PM »

Quote from: GH2001 on January 03, 2012, 01:37:52 PM

Ok, I LOL'ed at that one.

ditto

Kaos · « **Reply #922 on:** January 08, 2012, 07:25:48 PM »

We Bought a Zoo

Roped into this one by the little girl. Was supposed to rain so instead of golf I promised to take her to see this movie.

It didn't rain.

The movie was predictable. It was sappy. It was sentimental.

It was pretty damn good.

I enjoyed the whole sappy, sentimental, predictable thing. I knew what was coming and still wanted to see it happen.

I'm back on the Matt Damon wagon. The guy does most roles really well. So much better than his buddy Ben.

Scarlett? She didn't look that great but was still endearing enough to work. The rest of the cast was okay. They could really have overplayed the adorable seven-year old Rosie hand but carefully avoided too much of the little girl cutesy.

Watching Damon's performance in the struggle overcoming the loss of his wife was hard. He did that pretty well.

This is what movies should be about. Really enjoyed it and didn't miss golf a bit.

Vandy Vol · « **Reply #923 on:** January 08, 2012, 07:38:08 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on January 08, 2012, 07:25:48 PM

We Bought a Zoo

. . .

Scarlett? She didn't look that great but was still endearing enough to work.

I happened to catch a clip between movies either on Showtime or HBO which had Damon and Scarlett talking about the movie.

Damon actually mentioned that he had no idea what they planned on doing when they casted Scarlett as a fucking zoo keeper. It'd be like casting Salma Hayek as a homely school teacher, or Amber Heard as a methed out grandmother.

Anyhoo, Scarlett laughed and said something about just not taking showers for some time in order to pull it off.

Shower or not, I'd still hit it like Tyson.

DnATL · « **Reply #924 on:** January 08, 2012, 08:45:24 PM »

Quote from: Vandy Vol on January 08, 2012, 07:38:08 PM

I happened to catch a clip between movies either on Showtime or HBO which had Damon and Scarlett talking about the movie.

Damon actually mentioned that he had no idea what they planned on doing when they casted Scarlett as a fucking zoo keeper. It'd be like casting Salma Hayek as a homely school teacher, or Amber Heard as a methed out grandmother.

Anyhoo, Scarlett laughed and said something about just not taking showers for some time in order to pull it off.

Shower or not, I'd still hit it Damon's ass like Tyson.

fixt

Vandy Vol · « **Reply #925 on:** January 08, 2012, 08:49:16 PM »

Quote from: DnATL on January 08, 2012, 08:45:24 PM

fixt

It's the male tards that always get to me...

DnATL · « **Reply #926 on:** January 08, 2012, 09:42:22 PM »

Quote from: Vandy Vol on January 08, 2012, 08:49:16 PM

It's the male tards that always get to me...

You get hard for the 'tard?

Vandy Vol · « **Reply #927 on:** January 08, 2012, 09:47:14 PM »

Quote from: DnATL on January 08, 2012, 09:42:22 PM

You get hard for the 'tard?

Kaos · « **Reply #928 on:** January 27, 2012, 11:07:11 AM »

The Quiet

Very strange film. One of those things where you're stuck in a hotel room, the middle of the night, can't sleep and you come across this so you watch it.

Really good cast overall. Elisha Cuthbert. Camilla Belle. Edie Falco (tremendous in the Sopranos). Martin Donovan (who was outstanding in Boss).

The premise wasn't bad either. Family (Donovan, Falco and Cuthbert) take in the daughter of a close friend (Belle) after the friend is killed.

The girl they take in appears to be a deaf mute. She "dresses like a janitor (Cuthbert's words)" and does nothing to improve her appearance. Funny thing is that even though she slumps around with stringy hair and a sullen look you can tell she's hot underneath.

Of course she's ostracized at school. All high school girls are superficial mean bitches. And all high school boys are superficial engorged penises who engage in regular self-loathing and take it out on anyone who is different.

Turns out the new girl isn't exactly as she seems.

And it turns out that there are some family secrets going on in the house. Dad's a creeper and mom's hopped up on pills.

Cuthbert spends a relatively long portion of the movie in some various stage of undress. Bra and panties, tight tshirt and panties and so on.

Belle is pretty hot even as a schlump.

Falco's hair is that idiotic short version and plastered to her skull that she tried back in 2005 and it looked super shitty, but her body of work is fairly strong. And she pops out the titties in this one.

Donovan has a quality resume.

The story was told reasonably well.

So why did this movie never register?

It cost about 900 grand to make, earned just 27K on opening weekend and finished its run at a little over 300k total. So you could say it was an epic flop.

It leaped off in taboo territory and people just aren't ready for that I don't think. Creeper dad crossed lines that just aren't crossed in movies. I imagine that turned the distributor off and it didn't get any promotion. I'd never heard of it and I am a movie trailer addict. I also think that those who saw it were probably reviled by the creepiness of the dad and nothing else resonated.

Godfather · « **Reply #929 on:** January 27, 2012, 11:22:12 AM »

Godfathers movie review....

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

It is a really good movie...watch it!!!!!!!!

wesfau2 · « **Reply #930 on:** January 27, 2012, 04:07:44 PM »

Quote from: Godfather on January 27, 2012, 11:22:12 AM

Godfathers movie review....

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

It is a really good movie...watch it!!!!!!!!

Original or Hollywood rehash?

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #931 on:** January 27, 2012, 04:08:43 PM »

Quote from: wesfau2 on January 27, 2012, 04:07:44 PM

Original or Hollywood rehash?

He just likes women who kick shit up a guy's ass.

The Six · « **Reply #932 on:** January 27, 2012, 04:09:46 PM »

Do any of you know where I can obtain a legal copy of "After Last Season"? They used to sell it on the website but that's no longer there. Amazon is a no go as well.

Godfather · « **Reply #933 on:** January 27, 2012, 04:15:04 PM »

Quote from: wesfau2 on January 27, 2012, 04:07:44 PM

Original or Hollywood rehash?

Did not see original...enjoyed hollywood rehash

Kaos · « **Reply #934 on:** January 30, 2012, 01:00:48 AM »

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

Better than it had a right to be.

Kaos · « **Reply #935 on:** February 04, 2012, 11:21:27 PM »

Bad Teacher

Bad Teacher? Worse movie.

I found the appearance of Cameron Diaz to be disturbing. She is fugly and all her extreme fugliness was on display here. Her face nauseated me.

The high concept of comedy here was getting Diaz to mention sucking dick in four or five different ways. Like anybody would let that crocodile grill anywhere near their man things.

There was no chemistry between her and Schlumpy McFag who played a gym teacher and her supposed love interest at denoument.

Justin Timberlake, who has his moments on SNL and wasn't a complete turd in Alpha Dog put in a performance so shitty it was painful to watch.

On the old Seinfeld show and on Married with Children you couldn't find a character with any redeeming values. Same here. But Seinfeid and Married were funny. This was not. It was just crude.

In the conflict between Diaz and Red McSunshine the viewer couldn't find anyone to support. Both should have lost. That's not what you want.

It's worth noting that in a competition between Diaz and Lucy Punch (who played redhead Spunky McSquirrel) I'd have taken the redhead over Diaz every day and four times on Tuesday. Nothing appealing about Diaz at all.

There were no winners in this film. It failed on every level.

GH2001 · « **Reply #936 on:** February 05, 2012, 09:48:20 AM »

Woman in Black.

Pretty good. Well done. Liked the movie as a whole but hated the ending. Radcliffe was pretty good and may have a career post Harry Potter. Some good shit your pants moments. Worth a matinee ticket.

GH2001 · « **Reply #937 on:** February 05, 2012, 10:11:15 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on February 04, 2012, 11:21:27 PM

I found the appearance of Cameron Diaz to be disturbing. She is fugly and all her extreme fugliness was on display here. Her face nauseated me.

Are you serious Clark?

She may not look like she did in the mask but shit man, that was 20 years ago.

Kaos · « **Reply #938 on:** February 05, 2012, 10:24:10 AM »

Quote from: GH2001 on February 05, 2012, 10:11:15 AM

Are you serious Clark?

She may not look like she did in the mask but shit man, that was 20 years ago.

You're seriously going to post some heavily airbrushed shit from 1980 as your "evidence"

I could airbrush YOU and make it look good.

She's fucking ugly as fuck. Seriously ugly. This movie accentuated everything about her that is hideous.

Do not want. At all.

The Six · « **Reply #939 on:** February 05, 2012, 10:59:19 AM »

Check out a movie called Texas Killing Fields. Would be interested in reading your thoughts.