Now you’ll get Deion Sanders and love everything that comes with it.
Don’t say shit from here on out. Swallow that shit and love it.
Auburn fans have been bitching about every coach and coaching candidates since tot. It’s truly who we are. That’s most of the issue deep down if we dare to look in a mirror.
Since the freeze was stopped yesterday by the angry mob of Carnell fans on social media - we are now on to a few more candidates today.
First up is brian Johnson - qb guru for the eagles. Who can blame a coach for wanting to leave Philly. He has zero hc exp though. But is highly thought of. Cohen likes him - from the sources anyway. We will torpedo this for lack of experience.
James Franklin - right? Hey if you thought our fans didn’t approve of freeze, wait til this guys baggage comes to light. Torpedo will happen as fast as freeze.
Fickell - great coach. Great recruiter. But - he ain’t no southerner and he can’t cruit this area. So they’ll say. Even if it’s false. We will torpedo this for those reasons.
Lanning - another great coach. Made in the mold of Kirby. He lost 3 games this year though. Instant dq. We can’t have that shit. And well he just ain’t experienced enough. Bye.
Deion - the roster would get loaded. But he’s a clown and a thug. And snoop dogg would be hanging around. And well he just hasn’t proven he can lead a big program. Plus he’s a black and speaks at a 7th grade level. No sir. Our Ivy League level fans ain’t having that juvenile crap. Bye prime.
Are you keeping up? Auburn fans are in charge now…. Let’s keep moving.
Back to lanning. It’s impressive that oregon state did what they did last night against the ducks…that said….
The Oregon state coach is now jumping on radars. Head coach Don Keydick is largely unknown mostly but not for long. But this is the Pacific Northwest. We ain’t gonna do that again. Bye bye Don. Not really. Who is Don? Look it up.
And lastly…
Carnell - all millennial white women on social media agree. He’s far and away the best choice. No he isn’t experienced and yes it’s mostly an emotional driven push but who cares right? Logic is overrated. Is it fair to be ok with him with all his cons and not give the guys listed above a pass for the same stuff? Of course not. But that’s logic. Yes he’s also black and yes that’s why some don’t like Deion. But this is Carnell so it’s different. Y’all just don’t get it. Back to that logic thing - we already said there is no place for that here. Now you’re getting it.
So Carnell it is. Let’s ride fam. Jaba at it’s finest.