Pondering The Hunts

[Snaggletiger]

Sometimes I harken back to the 80's and find there are things that make you go Hmmmm...  I used to hunt many, many.....many moons ago.  But it was not until today that I thought:



Why do hunters wear camouflage when they have all that bright orange on? 

I also tilt my head like a dog when it hears a funny noise, if I happen to come across one of those hunting shows and you see the hunter drawing down on a deer.  He takes his time, squeezes the trigger and BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM......  After the shot, he pumps his fist, looks at the camera and starts whispering. 

"He was behind that cypress.  I didn't think I was going to get the shot.  I thought he was spooked but he raised his head and took that one step forward.  That's the one I've been after."  

Hey asshole, I think that if the deer is still alive, he has a pretty good idea that there's a hunter nearby with a gun.  Just like everything and everybody within a mile radius does.  You can stop with the stealth mode.

Just useless musings on a Fall Thursday.

[wesfau2]

Tried hunting a few times.  It's not for me.  You have to get up reallllly early....in the nut-ass cold...and sit reallllly still waiting on some dumb animal you've likely lured into your sights.

Hard pass.

[Kaos]

Tried hunting a few times.  It's not for me.  You have to get up reallllly early....in the nut-ass cold...and sit reallllly still waiting on some dumb animal you've likely lured into your sights.

Hard pass.

Well, we agree on something.  

[wesfau2]

Well, we agree on something. 

More than you think, probably.

[Snaggletiger]

Tried hunting a few times.  It's not for me.  You have to get up reallllly early....in the nut-ass cold...and sit reallllly still waiting on some dumb animal you've likely lured into your sights.

Hard pass.

Had some buddies back in Montgomery and Auburn who got me into hunting big time back during college and a while after.  I married and moved to the Wiregrass and had immediate access to some great hunting land.  Went solo a few times and that was it for me.  Turned out it was more about the good times with friends than it was the hunt.  Same with golf.  In my former life before becoming a high powered attorney, me and my co-workers played a ton of golf.  After I left and some of them retired or went other directions, I tried to get into it again and thought, what's the point?  If I can't drink beer and talk shit to my buddies, hitting this little round ball into the nearest body of water isn't nearly as appealing as it once was.

Ironically enough, I may be going on a couple of hunts this season.  I'd like to get Mini Snags into it and see if he likes it.

[GH2001]

Well, we agree on something. 

Thirded. K. Gh. Wes. Brothers.

On hunting anyway.

crazy part is I used to do it. I dunno why looking back. I bought into the faux machismo part of it. I did it to be cool.

And I did enjoy the naturalistic part of it. The land. The scenery. The animals. The quiet time.  The sunrise. Just found no actual thrill in popping one and feeling cool about it. At all. Especially an animal I can’t stand the taste of. I hate deer. I’ve tried over and over to like it. Just can’t. Taste like a goat. Although I’m sure Lipitor and other cholesterol medicine makers love them some hunters. Cousin Eddie used to eat the damn things. Until he found that out. What a Shame

All the guys I knew of that did it hardcore (not like snags on a Friday night) were always your Bama looking bubbas with the big truck and gut, always talking about how their dr lectured them on their bad blood work numbers and bp, weight, blah blah blah. While they could barely walk from the truck to the tree without having a breathing fit. I had come from an elite college running background and just saw zero common ground with those guys. I concluded after a while that the guys doing it that I thought had the machismo because of it, we’re all a bunch of guys my age that were dying a slow premature death. Because this was al they did. Sit on their asses for 7 hours and eat 40 lbs of flesh a week. 

 I like to get out into the woods as much as anyone. Just not to kill deer. Fishing has always been and will be my outdoor animal centered activity of choice.

[bgreene]

Thirded. K. Gh. Wes. Brothers.

On hunting anyway.

crazy part is I used to do it. I dunno why looking back. I bought into the faux machismo part of it. I did it to be cool.

And I did enjoy the naturalistic part of it. The land. The scenery. The animals. The quiet time.  The sunrise. Just found no actual thrill in popping one and feeling cool about it. At all. Especially an animal I can’t stand the taste of. I hate deer. I’ve tried over and over to like it. Just can’t. Taste like a goat. Although I’m sure Lipitor and other cholesterol medicine makers love them some hunters. Cousin Eddie used to eat the damn things. Until he found that out. What a Shame

All the guys I knew of that did it hardcore (not like snags on a Friday night) were always your Bama looking bubbas with the big truck and gut, always talking about how their dr lectured them on their bad blood work numbers and bp, weight, blah blah blah. While they could barely walk from the truck to the tree without having a breathing fit. I had come from an elite college running background and just saw zero common ground with those guys. I concluded after a while that the guys doing it that I thought had the machismo because of it, we’re all a bunch of guys my age that were dying a slow premature death. Because this was al they did. Sit on their asses for 7 hours and eat 40 lbs of flesh a week.

 I like to get out into the woods as much as anyone. Just not to kill deer. Fishing has always been and will be my outdoor animal centered activity of choice.

Fouthdid

I have tried it but have zero desire to hunt.  My oldest son likes hunting and fishing, but I have no use for either.  I was however with him when he shot his first deer, and second (two standing side by side, the second didn't run when the first was shot).  So aside from that cool memory for both of us, I'm out on going out early and sitting in the cold.

[GH2001]

Fouthdid

I have tried it but have zero desire to hunt.  My oldest son likes hunting and fishing, but I have no use for either.  I was however with him when he shot his first deer, and second (two standing side by side, the second didn't run when the first was shot).  So aside from that cool memory for both of us, I'm out on going out early and sitting in the cold.

Yes, the 2 most underrated things said in this thread looking past mine and Snags' blithering rantings - is from Wes - 4 am....Cold. NO THANKS. 

[Kaos]

I spent a weekend at a hunting camp once because I wanted to fit in.  Another time I spent a weekend in the woods at a fishing camp.  Same reason. 

There's a whole entire book that could be written about those two weekends.  Disaster. 

[GH2001]

I spent a weekend at a hunting camp once because I wanted to fit in.  Another time I spent a weekend in the woods at a fishing camp.  Same reason.

There's a whole entire book that could be written about those two weekends.  Disaster.

we have time.....covid is now over. 

[WiregrassTiger]

I did not see this post yesterday. And I wish that I had not, today.

[Kaos]

Short versions:

HUNTING
Lots of camo-bros which isn't me to begin with.  Lots of intoxication.  Up at the crack of dawn, traipsing into the woods to surround an illegally baited field (I know it was illegally baited because I'd helped set that up).  Sit in a tree with a gun I'm not familiar with.  Deer!!!  Blast away.  Did I hit it?  I don't know.  Somebody did. It wasn't dead.  Hey! My first hunt so they give me a knife and tell me to throat it so it dies. Nope. Fuck all y'all sick fucks. Much ridicule. Later over gallons of booze and a bonfire, handed cup of blood. First hunt.  Must drink. Nope. Fuck all y'all sick fucks. Poured on me.  Fight ensues. Faces, hands, ribs bruised.  His mine and a few others.

I'm not allowed to go out for day two.  Just sit back at the camp. No, that's wrong of us, you can ride the four-wheeler.  Come out and get us later today.  Four wheeler tumbled down the side of a ravine and crashed into a creek.  Somebody had to go get a jeep and winch it out. Handlebars were broken, among other things. 

I was taken back to town before day three.

FISHING
Step-father-in-law to be. Invited to an abandoned home next to a big muddy creek with him and a bunch of his friends.  Running a generator to power it up. Went out and set lines in a creek swollen with rain in a creaky boat.  It's raining all day. 

Went back so he could cook.  He cooked chitlins and possum with sweet potatoes.  I can eat damn near anything.  I cannot eat poorly washed chitlins or possum.  The chitlins smelled like something with IBS shit on the plate. I tried a bite and had to struggle to keep from throwing up.  The possum was extremely greasy and stringy.  I couldn't even try it.  The only other thing in the house food-wise was a pack of stale crackers. 

About 10 pm they wanted to go out and check the lines.  I'm terrified of snakes.  They were in the trees. Saw them with the spotlight. They were in the water. Saw them skizzing around. Caught at least one on the lines.  Also turtles. And gar.  Turn around at the last line to go back upstream to the house motor's out. Boat filling with water.  There's no oar. Only lid to a cooler and that's not doing anything with the current. Going down.  Shit. Gotta swim. Spotlight, cooler, everything in the water. Gone. Head to the bank, against the current, and claw up the muddy sides figuring snakes were converging. Then trample through thick underbrush in the rain, mud and snakes and pitch dark back to the old house.  Open the door and the shit-caked scent of cooked chitlins drifts over me.  I throw up. 

Way after midnight, the wife of a friend shows up.  She's there to fuck a guy who's not her husband, in the same room where I'm starving on a ratty mattress.  And I'm supposed to be quiet about it.  Bro code.  

I'd rather stay home.

[Snaggletiger]

I did not see this post yesterday. And I wish that I had not, today.

We wish you hadn't either.

Fishing is a different story for me.  Love every type, from pan fishing to sailfish/marlin trips.  I'd be on the water err'day if life were different.  You know, like if I was rich and retired and had a boat and lived on the coast.  Yeah, like that.

[WiregrassTiger]

We wish you hadn't either.

Fishing is a different story for me.  Love every type, from pan fishing to sailfish/marlin trips.  I'd be on the water err'day if life were different.  You know, like if I was rich and retired and had a boat and lived on the coast.  Yeah, like that.

I used to hunt with a spear or sometimes I’d belly crawl with a buck knife but hunting with a gun is for pussies.

[CCTAU]

Love hunting. One day you’ll all wish you could have some non government supplied meat to eat.

And deer can’t see the orange. That’s so another dumbass don’t shoot you. 

[GH2001]

Love hunting. One day you’ll all wish you could have some non government supplied meat to eat.

And deer can’t see the orange. That’s so another dumbass don’t shoot you.

So you’re that guy I described huh?

[CCTAU]

So you’re that guy I described huh?

My deer healthier than your fish.
Although I eat the fish too. 

I guess we could all just be vegan.

[Snaggletiger]

So you’re that guy I described huh?

So if the deer Are color blind and can’t see the orange, what’s the purpose of camouflage?  You’ve got half camo and half solid.  

[GH2001]

My deer healthier than your fish.
Although I eat the fish too.

I guess we could all just be vegan.

srsly tho dude....I like teh smoked sausage and burger as much as the next guy but if you are rationalizing somehow that any cut of red meat is healthier than a piece of wild Alaskan salmon, sardines, mahi or cod - you are out of your mind. It’s Not even a close contest.

Saying deer meat is the leanest of all the red meats is like saying you’re the hottest chick in the Catholic Convent.

[wesfau2]

 the hottest chick in the Catholic Convent.

Oh bay-bay bay-bay.