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Microcosm of what's wrong with U.S.

Kaos

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Microcosm of what's wrong with U.S.
« on: May 05, 2011, 02:38:55 PM »
Actual conversation that just took place in a convenience store in rural Alabama.  The players:

Kaos (K)
Large black man with braids and chains (LB)
Black man wearing worker's uniform (R)
Clerk: (C)

R: Yo, dude, where you been?  You was supposed to be on this morning.
LB:  What the fuck I tell you I was gonna do?  I stayed home and smoked dope.
R: SHHHHHH... damn, dude, you can't just be hollerin' shit like that out loud.
LB: Don't fuckin' shhhh me, bitch. Who the fuck gon' do anything if I smoke dope? I SMOKE A BIG FAT ASS BLUNT!
R: What the fuck ever, man.  You don't know who be around and you just yellin' stupid shit like that.
LB: Who?  Who in here gonna say a GODDamn thing?  You think that bitch up at the register gonna say something?  You think the goddam police up in this motherfucker? 
LB (to K): Is you the goddam PO-lice? 
K: Nope. Not a cop.
LB (to C): You got shit to say?
C: As long as you pay for what you got, I don't care what you do. 
LB: So what the fuck?  I SMOKE A FATASS BLUNT!  BURN THAT SHIT ALL FUCKIN' DAY.
R: You gon' keep on and they gon' fire your ass.
LB: Who? That job? Fuck them, man.  I'm a grown ass man. They can't tell me what to do.  If I wanna SMOKE FUCKIN' DOPE, that's what I'm gonna do.   They video my ass?  Well they can't say shit. 
R: Aight. Later.
LB (to C):  I'm a grown ass man, can't nobody tell me shit.  Ya HERRR? How much this Keystone be?
C: 59 cents a can.
LB: Fuck, I ain't got enough but fo' two. 


Whatever I intended to purchase was left on the shelf. 
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Microcosm of what's wrong with U.S.
« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2011, 02:59:20 PM »
Many moons ago, I was in a little mom and pop convenience store situated directly across from the entrance of a....shall we say....lower income neighborhood. I had a lot of paperwork that I had to get the owner to fill out and it was the only time we could meet....so I had to get it done between customers.  I started noticing a trend in what everybody was buying and the fact that virtually every one of them was walking across from that neighborhood.  So, I started counting.

I was there a little over 2 hours, right in the middle of a work day in the middle of the week.  I believe the number was 43 people who were without a doubt, working age, in what appeared to be reasonably good physical condition...buying beer. Now, maybe I should give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they all worked the night shift dow to da' plant.

I left thinking, "This is part of what's incredibly wrong with America"   
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Jumbo

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Re: Microcosm of what's wrong with U.S.
« Reply #2 on: May 05, 2011, 03:03:19 PM »
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You'll never shine if you don't glow.

Re: Microcosm of what's wrong with U.S.
« Reply #3 on: May 05, 2011, 04:42:27 PM »
Said Monday May 2, 2011 at my faculty meeting:

S - Person who works for the county.
P - My principal

S - "It's your job to reach out to these kids and help them be successful.  A successful kid is a kid who graduates."
P - "Your tests and projects and homework assignments don't matter that much in the grand scheme of things.  It's your job to get these kids out the door with a diploma."
S - "That means enabling them to pass the graduation exam.  That means ensuring they receive the credits they need."
P - "This is a great staff.  I know we can accomplish our goals because I know how good you all are.  Our graduation rate has hit 92% or higher every year since I've been here.  So I know we can do this.  I know I hired good people." 

You see, nowadays, we try to get LB a diploma.  At least he'll be smoking weed with a secondary education under his belt.

 :sad:
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

BZ770

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Re: Microcosm of what's wrong with U.S.
« Reply #4 on: May 06, 2011, 12:15:13 AM »
There was a Conract Company at work while back with around 32 employees.  Their safety man hit another contract company's truck on site.  So the protocol is to fill out an accident report and a standard drug test.  Guess what safety man fails drug test. If you've ever worked around a construcion site or been in plants you know the safety man is the one who usually takes the people to get drug tested on the monthly random.  Find out that the employees were paying him to pass the drug screens.  They tested the whole company and 21 of 32 were hot.  They fired the whole company out of the plant.
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Saniflush

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Re: Microcosm of what's wrong with U.S.
« Reply #5 on: May 06, 2011, 01:29:07 PM »
That's funny. Think i'll go burn one.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

AWK

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Re: Microcosm of what's wrong with U.S.
« Reply #6 on: May 06, 2011, 02:35:38 PM »
I'm smoking right now... What the fuck are yall going to do about it?
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Microcosm of what's wrong with U.S.
« Reply #7 on: May 06, 2011, 02:37:41 PM »
I'm smoking right now... What the fuck are yall going to do about it?

You're a grown ass man
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

AUTiger1

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Re: Microcosm of what's wrong with U.S.
« Reply #8 on: May 06, 2011, 02:40:32 PM »
I'm smoking right now... What the eff are yall going to do about it?

Imma gone call the gotdamn PO-lease
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Courage is only fear holding on a minute longer.--George S. Patton

There are gonna be days when you lay your guts on the line and you come away empty handed, there ain't a damn thing you can do about it but go back out there and lay em on the line again...and again, and again! -- Coach Pat Dye

It isn't that liberals are ignorant. It's just they know so much that isn't so. --Ronald Reagan

AWK

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Re: Microcosm of what's wrong with U.S.
« Reply #9 on: May 06, 2011, 02:41:14 PM »
You're a grown ass man
I smoke in my Dodge Stratus!
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

Vandy Vol

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Re: Microcosm of what's wrong with U.S.
« Reply #10 on: May 06, 2011, 02:43:01 PM »
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"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin

Tarheel

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Re: Microcosm of what's wrong with U.S.
« Reply #11 on: May 06, 2011, 02:50:27 PM »
I smoke in my Dodge Stratus!

Haven't you been arrested yet?  I thought AUT1 called the PoPo on you.

I'm callin' teh FBIs!
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The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me. 
-Ayn Rand

The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money.
-The Right Honourable Margaret Thatcher

The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.
-Milton Friedman

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'
-Ronald Reagan

When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.
-Thomas Jefferson

Snaggletiger

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Re: Microcosm of what's wrong with U.S.
« Reply #12 on: May 06, 2011, 02:56:33 PM »
Well call the po-po ho
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."