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Kaos' way behind movie reviews

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #80 on: October 05, 2009, 01:51:27 PM »
Thanks for the warning.  Not a big Seth Rogen fan anyway. 
This movie reminds me of Will Ferrel after Old School.
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ssgaufan

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #81 on: October 05, 2009, 04:06:23 PM »
Last House on the Left

Forget the remake, I decided to check out the original 1972 version of this film. It was one of Wes Craven's first films, was banned for 30-something years in Australia and has developed a minor cult following over the years.

Something to remember about movies with cult followings?  They're often shockingly bad.  

This one fits that mold.  How anyone who saw this dreadful film could ever have greenlighted another Craven project is beyond me.

The premise is solid. Girl gets raped/killed, killers end up hanging out with her family who eventually exacts revenge.  

But this film?  Godawful.  The acting was terrible. The camera work was hideous.  The soundtrack was intrusive and perhaps the worst I've ever found in a movie.  Nothing fit.  

Oh, there were some good bits.  In 1972 the concept of showing a blowjob and subsequent toothy removal of the appendage was probably some wacko poop.  Having dad stalk around with a chainsaw might have been mindblowing 37 years ago.  It was hackneyed today.  

When you've got a good story to tell and good actors telling it, you don't have to go for the shock factor. This went all shock and wasted a potentially good scenario.  

I hear the remake is similarly butchered (pardon the pun) and won't waste my time.  Too bad a good setup has been now twice wasted.

Pics below are of the peter gnawing mom and the two girls the killers killed.

So they showed the BJ, and getting the ole talley wacker bit off?
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #82 on: October 05, 2009, 04:29:23 PM »
So they showed the BJ, and getting the ole talley wacker bit off?

Not exactly.  But for 1972 it had to be pretty off the wall. 

Showed her getting to her knees, showed him with his head thrown back making the "o" face, then showed him from behind and her ripping her head violently from side to side.  He was fully clothed. 

She ran to the pond gagging and spit something in the water.  It splashed. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #83 on: October 05, 2009, 04:38:48 PM »
Not exactly.  But for 1972 it had to be pretty off the wall. 

Showed her getting to her knees, showed him with his head thrown back making the "o" face, then showed him from behind and her ripping her head violently from side to side.  He was fully clothed. 

She ran to the pond gagging and spit something in the water.  It splashed. 

I remember as an early teenager, watching that and the end of the movie Blood Sucking Freaks made me leery of women in peril.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #84 on: October 05, 2009, 04:39:40 PM »
Not exactly.  But for 1972 it had to be pretty off the wall. 

Showed her getting to her knees, showed him with his head thrown back making the "o" face, then showed him from behind and her ripping her head violently from side to side.  He was fully clothed. 

She ran to the pond gagging and spit something in the water.  It splashed. 

Damn.  That would be the exact opposite of a "happy ending".
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Thrilla

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #85 on: October 05, 2009, 07:04:40 PM »
Damn.  That would be the exact opposite of a "happy ending".

I'm glad you clarified that, lest I believe that you were in to some wacky S&M shit.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #86 on: October 05, 2009, 11:00:12 PM »
My Bloody Valentine

Surprisingly good.

Decent storytelling. Good pace. Plenty of gore, some over the top a little bit but the special effects were good. Well acted. The guy playing Axel was a little weak. Didn't buy him as a Sheriff, but other than that the casting was solid.

Hate now I didn't see this one in 3D in the theaters.

Of the three major horror remakes I've seen (Halloween, Friday the 13th and this one) this is tenfold better than the other two combined.  Zombie's Halloween redux was ham-fisted and the 13th resurrection was just lame altogether despite the sexy Pannabaker elf.

If you do horror, do this one.  It's not the kind that will have you terrified, but it does keep you guessing and wondering until the end. 

Well done.
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Jumbo

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #87 on: October 06, 2009, 03:44:37 AM »
I enjoyed My Bloody Valentine as well, I thought the storyline was impressive for a horror flick.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #88 on: October 09, 2009, 09:30:08 AM »
Pineapple Express

So I'm 3/4 of the way through this movie and I'm thinking what the hell.  It's just two doofy loser white guys smoking tons of weed and getting into ridiculous situations.  Could it possibly be any more stupid?

Then I remember. I used to laugh my ass off at Cheech and Chong which was basically two doofy loser Mexican guys smoking tons of weed and getting into ridiculous situations. It was pretty stupid, too.  Nice Dreams was good, but the rest of the C&C movies were really pretty bad.

Maybe it's just my age, but I didn't get a whole lot out of Pineapple Express.  It wasn't as funny as Cheech and Chong used to be and it just never really went anywhere.  Anything that was remotely funny was shown in the previews.

I hate when somebody tells me "it's the funniest movie ever" and then I don't laugh even once.  It colors my opinion of them.  

Lame. Dull. Boring.  That's about all I saw out of this Express.

Superbad
Not as bad as Pineapple Express.

I did sort of like this movie, but I'm seriously tired of that fat fucking whiner kid.  Every time a car hit him I was begging him to stay down.  As in be cinematically dead.   I don't ever want to see him in another movie again. 

Seth Rogen is bad enough.  How that nasally fro-top ever became a movie "star" is beyond me because he doesn't have an ounce of talent, but the grungy whiner cocksucker has even less.   He sucks.

If the cast has "Jonah Hill" listed, I'm not going to watch the fucking movie. Ever.  I hate that bastard. 

Don't even try to tell me Emma Stone would be remotely interested in his tubby ass.  Fuck that concept completely. 

Not a bad film, but I hate Jonah Hill. 

Here's Emma:

« Last Edit: October 09, 2009, 09:41:00 AM by Kaos »
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #89 on: October 09, 2009, 03:09:04 PM »
My Bloody Valentine

Surprisingly good.

Decent storytelling. Good pace. Plenty of gore, some over the top a little bit but the special effects were good. Well acted. The guy playing Axel was a little weak. Didn't buy him as a Sheriff, but other than that the casting was solid.

Hate now I didn't see this one in 3D in the theaters.

Of the three major horror remakes I've seen (Halloween, Friday the 13th and this one) this is tenfold better than the other two combined.  Zombie's Halloween redux was ham-fisted and the 13th resurrection was just lame altogether despite the sexy Pannabaker elf.

If you do horror, do this one.  It's not the kind that will have you terrified, but it does keep you guessing and wondering until the end. 

Well done.
:suicide:
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #90 on: October 09, 2009, 03:41:18 PM »
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #91 on: October 12, 2009, 02:50:33 AM »
Knocked Up
Okay, I've seen this before.  I may have even at some point reviewed it.  But I watched again while I was doing some work. 

Couple of things stood out to me. 

Quit calling Judd Apatow a visionary. Quit calling him a superior comedic talent. Quit calling him a director who is worth a tin shit in a cast iron bucket. 

The premise of this movie (and that of many others he's gotten credit for) is pretty good. But in his juvenile, blundering hands it turns to shit. 

Here's the thing. This could have been a really sweet, extremely effective and endearing movie. It wasn't because Apatow is immature. It's Beavis and Butthead level, but not as funny or not as clever.

Katherine Heigl was superb. And pretty fucking hot.

Rogen -- who I don't really care for -- actually showed me that if he'd get out from under Apatow's butchering direction he might actually be able to do more than schelp around like a dumbass and smoke weed.

The interactions between JHeigl, Rogen, Paul Rudd and whoever the shrew playing his wife was?  They were all good.

Rogen's circle of friends would have been shitloads better off without that retarded Jonah Hill bastard fouling up the screen. I was hoping he'd swallow a ping poing ball and die.

Where Apatow blew it with this movie was the unnecessary insertion of crudity.  We don't have to see Rogen's fat sweaty ass to understand the concept that he drunk-fucked Katherine.

The excessive amount of profanity (and shut the fuck up about irony) detracted from the movie. It added nothing and would have been better with a few less fucks, motherfucks and fuckity-fuck-fucks.

This could have been a really good movie. Apatow turned it into a lumbering, bumbling, fifth-grade "you said poo-poo" level butchery. 

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Jumbo

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #92 on: October 12, 2009, 05:14:48 AM »
Kaos, I watched the new The Last House on the Left. The movie was very graphic, gritty similar to the New Halloween/Friday the 13th. Its worth a look. 
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The Prowler

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #93 on: October 12, 2009, 10:44:02 PM »
Kaos, I watched the new The Last House on the Left. The movie was very graphic, gritty similar to the New Halloween/Friday the 13th. Its worth a look. 
Uggghhh....My eyes started bleed after I read "Its worth a look".
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #94 on: October 16, 2009, 12:09:49 AM »
Running With Scissors

Started this movie on Stealth channel a while ago. 

What a fucked up deal.  Evan Rachel Wood is hot and reminds me of why I loved the 70s.  There's something about that 70s look that brings wood. 

But the movie has too much gay shit going on.  I just don't need that.  I wonder if RWS realizes that his name is the name of a gay ass movie about a gay ass guy and his fucked up drug-addled mother?

Maybe I'm supposed to see some hidden meaning in this meandering shit, but it's not getting through.

I still got an hour left and I really don't think I'm going to make it to the end. 

I enjoy dark comedy. I like quirky shit.  This seems to just be dark shit, like a lumpy turd.   If I do finish it, which at this point I sort of doubt?  I'll add a final analysis. 

The positive?  Soundtrack is a Super 70s groove. Check it here:

http://www.cduniverse.com/search/xx/music/pid/7280172/a/Running+With+Scissors.htm

Bennie and the Jets (Elton John's best song)
The Things We Do for Love
Pick Up the Pieces
Blinded By The Light
Year of the Cat

etc.
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #95 on: October 23, 2009, 11:05:47 AM »
Frost Nixon

Ron Howard used to be Opie.  I liked him then. He used to be Richie Cunningham. I liked him then. He used to make fun movies like Splash where I got to see Daryl Hannah all kinds of naked and Cocoon where we got to see Wilford Brimley naked.  I liked him then. 

At some point he decided he had a political statement to make and that statement was liberal. I don't like that. His support Obama film that drew in Fonz and Andy really sort of pissed me off, first because he degraded Griffith by putting him in that garbage, but primarily because I despise so-called celebrities thinking they have any business telling me or you how you should vote. That video put him in the same clueless category as the Dixie Chicks, Barbara Striesand, Dave Matthews and the other idiot cocksmokers who think the ability to sustain a note gives them some moral advantage.  Fuck them.  Fuck them all. Every last one.  Opie too.

Frost/Nixon was a complex film. Unless you grew up in the time in which Watergate dominated the nation's consciousness, it probably won't resonate. I did and remember paying close attention to everything that went on.  For a number of reasons, one of them being Howard's inability to refrain from taking subtle shots at Nixon, the film failed to capture the moment.

For the record I think Nixon was a good president. He was paranoid, perhaps, and shouldn't have gotten involved in trying to hide the Watergate mess but most of what he did as President was positive. By the same token, I'm a huge George Wallace fan. If all you can see of the man is him standing in the school house door, you miss his true essence and overlook the tremendous good he did for the State of Alabama.

So...

Watergate was a truly pivotal time in American history. Watergate changed the role of media drastically. It significantly altered the way the American public viewed not just Nixon, but the entire presidency -- and for that matter politics in general.  I've heard it characterized as the moment this country lost its innocence and that's a fair assessment. The patriotism and America-first fervor that had existed through the end of World War II and through the 50s was generally being chipped away by the muddled effort in Korea and then the growing disaster in Vietnam. Nixon provided the opening for that sentiment to become a groundswell. 

Had the current media climate existed in the 1940s, we'd all be speaking German and goose-stepping in memory of our dear Fuehrer today. The horrors of a single hour at Iwo Jima or Normandy surpass two years of Iraq.  Nixon made it permissible -- expected even -- to criticize, analyze and cry out against the decisions of political leaders.

But back to the movie.

Howard didn't do a very good job of capturing that part of the story. Unless you already knew why the interview was important, unless you already understood how dramatically Watergate altered the American political landscape you weren't going to get much from this movie.  In that respect, he left a vast audience behind. Even those who were born after 1975 or so and were interested in the event didn't get a sense of its importance from this film. 

Instead Howard spent a lot of time focusing on Frost's efforts to raise money for the interviews, his relationship with Caroline Cushing and the genesis of the interviews.  Again, unless you were there, you really don't care. It wasn't compelling enough to keep you there.

I felt his characterization of Nixon as a doofy, dottering old man who apparently had alcoholic blackouts barely rose above caricature.  I've also never understood why Hollywood types -- which Howard obviously is -- feel the need to take creative liberties with portions of the story.  Why make Caroline Cushing appear as some trollop Frost picked up on a plane when they had actually been dating for a couple of years when the interview happened?  If he's going to fuck around with something minor like that why wouldn't he also just fabricate anything else he wanted to make it fit his "vision"? 

Also, if you watch the actual interviews and compare them to what Howard filmed, there are differences. Not in Frost's questions, but in Langella as Nixon's answers.  Some were markedly different. Others were in the manner of expression.  What is the point of doing it if you're just going to make up what was said or alter the way it was presented to subtly change the meaning? 

Frank Langella did a decent job of portraying Nixon. The guy playing Frost should stick to playing werewolves. 

There was no nudity. About the closest you had was the girl playing Cushing meeting Nixon and not having her shoes on. 

Final analysis?  The movie just didn't resonate. It didn't with me even though I grew up with Watergate because it missed the focus. It won't with anybody who wasn't a child of the 70s because it fails to convey the significance. 

Fuck Ron Howard. Go back to making movies where Daryl Hannah is naked and a fish.


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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #96 on: October 29, 2009, 11:27:23 PM »
The Midnight Meat Train

So it's Halloween week.  And you're looking for something violent and gory.  The Midnight Meat Train -- not a porno -- almost gets you there. 

It's got an outstanding cast. 

Brooke Shields is in it.  Bradley Cooper (Hangover) is in it.  Leslie Bibb (below) is in it. 

Basic story is that there's this creepy fuck who is slaughtering people on a weird subway train.  He's got this big ass hammer that does all kinds of shocking damage. 

If you like blood on the floor, eyeballs being popped out with a spoon kind of carnage, this movie has you going for most of the duration. 

Couple of problems.  Plot contrivances that make no sense whatsoever.  Some truly bad overacting by Miss Bibb.  No nudity.  Some of the things just don't make any sense whatsoever and there's really no rational explanation for some of the behaviors -- or some of the utterly unlikely coincidences. Is there only ONE detective in all of New York City?   

The movie hums gorily along until the twist at the end, which I have to say is one of the stupidest things I've ever had the misfortune to witness.  It gets to the denoument and you're sitting there going "seriously? That was the point of all this shit? No wonder the damn movie went straight to video despite the stellar credentials." 

Based on a Clive Barker book if that gives anything away. 


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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #97 on: October 29, 2009, 11:56:14 PM »
Blood and Chocolate

Movie had a very Underworld feel in terms of pacing and direction.   Agnes (below) plays Vivian, a werewolf.  She falls for a human, kicking off the whole love-triangle thing. 

The wolves were sort of cool.  The transformations were not.  They turned into glowing fairies flying through the air in slow motion before flipping to wolves.  Not werewolves, but actual wolves. 

Since they appeared to eat chocloate and other foodstuffs, I'm not really sure why the hunting was necessary for them.  Just be regular except for the being immortal part.  They had the ability to control the transformation, so that wasn't an issue. 

Too much love story, not enough bone chewing in the middle third of the film.   Soundtrack is intrusive to a degree, too. 

This was really a cross bewteen Underworld and Twilight.  It was better than Twilight -- which I confess I've unfortunately seen -- but not as good as Underworld.  It leaned more toward the Underworld side, however.

Stars?

Agnes Bruckner



and

Kata Dobo

« Last Edit: October 30, 2009, 01:13:27 AM by Kaos »
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Jumbo

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #98 on: October 30, 2009, 02:13:11 AM »
The two girls from above are worth a long look.
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