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Kaos' way behind movie reviews

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #40 on: June 16, 2009, 11:17:11 AM »
Between Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005) and Mr. Brooks (2007) we may need to rename this thread Kaos way, way, way, behind movie reviews.
« Last Edit: June 16, 2009, 11:26:10 AM by Godfather »
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #41 on: June 16, 2009, 11:19:37 AM »
Between Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005) and Mr. Brooks (2007) way may need to rename this thread Kao's way, way, way, behind movie reviews.

I told you I was behind. 

I will be reviewing Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen on June 25, however.  I'm geek like that. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #42 on: June 16, 2009, 12:00:55 PM »
IMO Craig is the second best bond since Connery, and I like how they have taken it more old school, not invisible cars that you can drive with a fuckin phone.  As for the movie itself Quantum of Solace while a good action flick, left much to be desired within the story line.  Casino Royale was much much stronger.

I agree about Casino Royale. 
I could also agree that Craig is second best, but look at his competition... :taunt:
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #43 on: June 16, 2009, 12:22:35 PM »
I could also agree that Craig is second best, but look at his competition... :taunt:
True

[Another Side Bar] I thought Clive Owen would have been a decent choice for Bond back when.  I was disappointed when they picked Craig. However, he has been a change that the franchise needed.  Did I mention I am kinda a big bond fan.
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Saniflush

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #44 on: June 16, 2009, 12:24:57 PM »
True

[Another Side Bar] I thought Clive Owen would have been a decent choice for Bond back when.  I was disappointed when they picked Craig. However, he has been a change that the franchise needed.  Did I mention I am kinda a big bond fan ghey bitch?
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #45 on: June 16, 2009, 12:25:31 PM »
I told you I was behind. 

I will be reviewing Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen on June 25, however.  I'm geek like that. 

My 7 year old wants me to take him to see it...he has watched the first one at least 15 times now.  I know...call DHR.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #46 on: June 16, 2009, 12:25:55 PM »
I will be reviewing Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen on June 25, however.  I'm geek like that. 
Yeah we know why (we all know your secret crush for:)



at least thats why me and about 3 guys will be going.
« Last Edit: June 16, 2009, 12:26:39 PM by Godfather »
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #47 on: June 16, 2009, 12:42:53 PM »
[Another Side Bar] I thought Clive Owen would have been a decent choice for Bond back when.  I was disappointed when they picked Craig. However, he has been a change that the franchise needed.  Did I mention I am kinda a big bond fan ghey bitch?

I am assuming you were agreeing with me only adding that you aare a big ghey bitch...we already knew that. and thanks for having my back in the Advice Old Men thread, that was a perfect lob.
« Last Edit: June 16, 2009, 12:48:15 PM by Saniflush »
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #48 on: June 16, 2009, 12:48:13 PM »
Yeah we know why (we all know your secret crush for:)



I have decided that I would, in fact, fuck her. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #49 on: June 16, 2009, 08:35:10 PM »
I have decided that I would, in fact, fuck her. 
Baby steps!
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #50 on: June 16, 2009, 10:48:31 PM »
I have decided that I would, in fact, fuck her. 
The first step is always admission.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #51 on: June 16, 2009, 11:30:13 PM »
She has decided that she in fact, would call the cops if you got within 150 yards of her gated house.  She does not feel pivileged in any way that you would in fact fuck her.  She does in fact, laugh at your bitch ass.
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Headin' for the south lands
Lookin' for some fun
Down below that dixie mason
I know your the one
My tongue is chasin' my eyes are wide
I can see paradise
I been down here once or twice
But I never seen it look so nice

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #52 on: June 17, 2009, 06:26:58 AM »
She has decided that she in fact, would call the cops if you got within 150 yards of her gated house.  She does not feel pivileged in any way that you would in fact fuck her.  She does in fact, laugh at your bitch ass.

She has no say in the matter.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #53 on: June 17, 2009, 10:28:08 AM »
She has decided that she in fact, would call the cops if you got within 150 yards of her gated house.  She does not feel pivileged in any way that you would in fact fuck her.  She does in fact, laugh at your bitch ass.
Hey she was fuckin Brian Austin Green, I haven't seen Kaos, but I like his chances.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #54 on: June 25, 2009, 12:00:31 AM »
TRANSFORMERS

I've read the reviews. I've seen the universal pans of this movie. I've read all the problems the critics have with it and their utter disdain for Michael Bay. 

Well you know what?  FUCK them. 

They bitch because the movie has no plot.  What the fuck do they want? Annie Hall or some miserable shit like The Reader?  Here's the plot:  Lots and lots and lots of shit blows up.  Robots brawl.  People run and scream. More shit blows up. The good guys win. 

They complain because certain aspects of the movie are unrealistic or far-fetched.  What the bleeding fuck? They're watching a movie about CARS THAT TURN INTO FUCKING ROBOTS.  That's the premise.  So if they have an alien that can shit Chinese take out, is that really any further off the reality chart?

They piss and moan because Megan Fox can't act.  Well I don't even care for her all that much, but let me be the first to say that I don't give a fuck.  She wasn't hired to do Shakesperean soloquies. She was hired to look fucking hot in those shorts and those jeans and to have a sexy little sassy ass attitude.  Mission accomplished. Yeah, I'd fuck this character.  Maybe not Megan herself, but her character in this movie would get the stiff dick.  And I'd damn sure tell her I loved her.

The movie was what it was. Like Pirates of the Caribbean II it wasn't quite as good as the first one, mainly because the first one set the bar so high that the second couldn't quite measure up.  Doesn't mean it was bad. It was a fun movie.

Yeah, there's some unnecessary throwaway shit.  The dog humping? What the fuck? That meant nothing and was a cheap attempt to draw a laugh.

There were things that didn't make sense.  Don't want to give too much away, but after you've seen it ask yourself these questions:

1) What happened to the litthe traitor Decepticon after it converted? After playing an integral role, it just vanished.

2) Where the fuck did all the flashlights come from? Seriously. I want somebody to answer that one.

3) Do they sell lip gloss in Egypt? I think they must.

4) What happened to theAllSpark sliver? Another important plot point that just vanished with no elaboration.


Other problems? Why they had to add the shits, fucks and pussies to the dialogue was beyond me. This is a movie that kids want to watch. The profanity added nothing. Neither did the silly ass pot brownie moment. I had to explain that ridiculous shit to my nine year old on the way home.

I've also got to fault Bay for flubbing  a pivotal confrontation between Optimus Prime and Megatron. What should have been an emotionally charged moment was completely drained of feeling. That's bad direction.

The movie was supposed to entertain. Fuck those snobby ass critics. I was entertained. My daughter laughed at the right parts and clapped at the end. What else can you expect?
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Saniflush

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #55 on: June 25, 2009, 07:49:58 AM »
Good review and let me add dogs humping is always funny unless Jumbo is present.


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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Jumbo

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #56 on: June 26, 2009, 02:12:42 PM »
Good review and let me add dogs humping is always funny unless Jumbo is present.



Do the hump!
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #57 on: June 30, 2009, 07:42:40 AM »
No County for Old Men

Won a ton of awards.  Not sure why.  It was okay.  Tommy Lee Jones was good in his role as a world-weary sheriff who's more interested in why the world is going to hell in a handbasket than he is in trying to halt the descent. Josh Brolin looks like he lives in a trailer and his wife was acceptably Texas plain (even though she's actually from Scotland). 

Where the movie fails is in its end. I realize that not every film has to have a tidy ending because life rarely does. Still, you don't build a confrontation for 90 minutes and then jerk your dick out and go "Ha ha, not going to come!"

The performances were good enough although the acclaimed Javier Whatthefuckever completely overacted. Would have been better with somebody who could have played that role with an air of cool as opposed to his bug-eyed lunacy.

Overall, just an okay movie. If I'd paid to see it in the theaters I'd probably want my money back because the ending is so ignorant. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #58 on: June 30, 2009, 10:56:14 AM »

The performances were good enough although the acclaimed Javier Whatthefuckever completely overacted. Would have been better with somebody who could have played that role with an air of cool as opposed to his bug-eyed lunacy.


Gotta disagree here.  Bardem was awesome.  That character was a bug-eyed lunatic, pure sociopath.  The scene in the store where he forces the guy to flip a coin for his life was so fucking good.

I'm predisposed to loving everything McCarthy related, but this movie was awesome in my humble opinion.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #59 on: June 30, 2009, 02:54:10 PM »
No County for Old Men

Where the movie fails is in its end. I realize that not every film has to have a tidy ending because life rarely does. Still, you don't build a confrontation for 90 minutes and then jerk your dick out and go "Ha ha, not going to come!"


Overall, just an okay movie. If I'd paid to see it in the theaters I'd probably want my money back because the ending is so ignorant. 

Couldnt agree more.  Saw this movie On Demand with a friend who just raved about it being one of his top 5 favorite movies.  I couldn't believe how he or anyone else could feel that way.  Spent no money but I wanted those two hours back... and still do.
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