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Kaos' way behind movie reviews

Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #20 on: June 01, 2009, 03:08:58 AM »
I thought the Wrestler was an ok movie, it was better than I thought it would be. 2.5 stars

You seen Star Trek? 

The Wrestler was okay.  I couldn't get past Rourke's bee-stung face.  He looked like that kid in The Mask or whatever with Cher.



It was like a low-rent version of Rocky Balboa, which was a low-rent recycle of Rocky.
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #21 on: June 04, 2009, 05:10:55 PM »
Three reviews today.  Short and to the point.

Drag Me to Hell
By all means drag me to hell. Just don't try to drag me back to the theater to see this shit fest.  It's a PG-13 horror movie which should have indicated the suckage immediately, but I ignored the warning.  The girl was sort of hot and her choice of shoes was good, but that's where the quality ended here.  The best actor in the whole thing was a damn fly. 

Doubt
I doubt I could possibly have been any more bored.  Oscar can go fuck himself.

The Reader
If I read aloud to you, will you let me fuck you sideways?  And then can you go and kill a bunch of Jews?  Because that will give me lots of angst.  Kate Winslet's ass, Kate Winslet's ass, Kate Winslet's bush, Kate Winslet's titties all deserved best supporting actress awards.  Nerd boy's cock and ass deserved to get the fuck off my screen.  I hate movies that strain to generate emotion from improbable circumstances.  Who the fuck is seriously going to live their entire life obsessed over a month-long fucking of a MILF when they're 16?  Hell, I did this one married chick for six months when I was 17 and I can barely remember her fucking name. Maybe if she'd massacred a bunch of Mexicans I would remember. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #22 on: June 04, 2009, 05:24:07 PM »
Three reviews today.  Short and to the point.

Drag Me to Hell
By all means drag me to hell. Just don't try to drag me back to the theater to see this shit fest.  It's a PG-13 horror movie which should have indicated the suckage immediately, but I ignored the warning.  The girl was sort of hot and her choice of shoes was good, but that's where the quality ended here.  The best actor in the whole thing was a damn fly. 

Doubt
I doubt I could possibly have been any more bored.  Oscar can go fuck himself.

The Reader
If I read aloud to you, will you let me fuck you sideways?  And then can you go and kill a bunch of Jews?  Because that will give me lots of angst.  Kate Winslet's ass, Kate Winslet's ass, Kate Winslet's bush, Kate Winslet's titties all deserved best supporting actress awards.  Nerd boy's cock and ass deserved to get the fuck off my screen.  I hate movies that strain to generate emotion from improbable circumstances.  Who the fuck is seriously going to live their entire life obsessed over a month-long fucking of a MILF when they're 16?  Hell, I did this one married chick for six months when I was 17 and I can barely remember her fucking name. Maybe if she'd massacred a bunch of Mexicans I would remember. 
I have no interest in any of those movies so we are good. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #23 on: June 04, 2009, 05:29:28 PM »

As the Batman franchise has proven, you can actually just start over. You don't have to tie up any loose ends.  I'd have been perfectly happy with a story line that picked a certain point in the career of Kirk and Spock and followed their exploits.  The unnecessary desire to try to tie up the entire series history really fucked the whole thing up. 

In the end, i left unfulfilled and calling bullshit on the entire exercise. 


It was fucked.
You can go fuck yourself.

Signed,
George Lucas
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #24 on: June 04, 2009, 05:32:42 PM »
On upcoming movies, this looks really good:

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #25 on: June 04, 2009, 05:40:12 PM »
The only reason I want to see the Wrestler is to see Marissa Tomei naked.  Had she taken off her clothes for My Cousin Vinny it would have been an instant Acadamy award winner.
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Jumbo

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #26 on: June 05, 2009, 01:01:28 AM »
You seen Star Trek? 

The Wrestler was okay.  I couldn't get past Rourke's bee-stung face.  He looked like that kid in The Mask or whatever with Cher.



It was like a low-rent version of Rocky Balboa, which was a low-rent recycle of Rocky.
I have heard from two people that Star Trek was a killer movie, I'm not big into sci-fi so I'll just wait until it comes out on Blu-Ray
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Jumbo

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #27 on: June 05, 2009, 01:07:42 AM »
Has anyone seen Anvil-The story of Anvil?
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #28 on: June 14, 2009, 12:21:18 AM »
Okay, startin' it up again.  Left with the intention of seeing Hangover...but ALL shows were sold out.  My daughter was with me so we were limited in alternatives.  One called Dance Flick was about to start and since she lives eats and breathes dancing, I decided to suffer through it.

I laughed my ass off.  I had forgotten that this was the movie I saw in the previews.  It's a movie by the Wayans brothers and it's basically the same kind of spoof on movies like High School Musical and Step Up etc. as the "Scary Movie" spoofs.  Corny as hell and a lot of racial humor.  Two times the black guy and white girl are about to kiss, the first time Damon Wayans Jr. pulls back..."Ooo black girls, Uh yeah, you just go three blocks down and take a left".  The second time, she pulls back..."Ooo white guys, (Holds up her keys) It's the white Honda with Coldplay in the CD player.  And don't steal anything".

One side note that means nothing to anyone but me and my daughter.  A girl from here in Dothan that we know pretty well did all the dance parts for the lead girl in the show. 

It's one to rent.
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Headin' for the south lands
Lookin' for some fun
Down below that dixie mason
I know your the one
My tongue is chasin' my eyes are wide
I can see paradise
I been down here once or twice
But I never seen it look so nice

The Prowler

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #29 on: June 14, 2009, 02:43:11 AM »
Okay, startin' it up again.  Left with the intention of seeing Hangover...but ALL shows were sold out.  My daughter was with me so we were limited in alternatives.  One called Dance Flick was about to start and since she lives eats and breathes dancing, I decided to suffer through it.

I laughed my ass off.  I had forgotten that this was the movie I saw in the previews.  It's a movie by the Wayans brothers and it's basically the same kind of spoof on movies like High School Musical and Step Up etc. as the "Scary Movie" spoofs.  Corny as hell and a lot of racial humor.  Two times the black guy and white girl are about to kiss, the first time Damon Wayans Jr. pulls back..."Ooo black girls, Uh yeah, you just go three blocks down and take a left".  The second time, she pulls back..."Ooo white guys, (Holds up her keys) It's the white Honda with Coldplay in the CD player.  And don't steal anything".

One side note that means nothing to anyone but me and my daughter.  A girl from here in Dothan that we know pretty well did all the dance parts for the lead girl in the show. 

It's one to rent.
Probably a good thing that you didn't watch Hangover with your daughter.  That movie was one of the funniest movies that I've ever seen.  Towards the end, I thought that I couldn't laugh anymore, but I was wrong.  I'm going to have to see it atleast one more time, just to catch the parts that I missed, because I was laughing so hard.
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"Patriotism and popularity are the beaten paths for power and tyranny." Good, no worries about tyranny w/ Trump

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Jumbo

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #30 on: June 14, 2009, 02:54:51 AM »
Probably a good thing that you didn't watch Hangover with your daughter.  That movie was one of the funniest movies that I've ever seen.  Towards the end, I thought that I couldn't laugh anymore, but I was wrong.  I'm going to have to see it atleast one more time, just to catch the parts that I missed, because I was laughing so hard.
That would have been an akward movie to watch with your daughter.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #31 on: June 14, 2009, 07:41:19 AM »
That would have been an akward movie to watch with your daughter.

I was kinda' thinkin' that.  But Dance Flick had it's share of uncomfortable moments too. One part is the typical scene where the teacher (Lady dance teacher) is having the first day of class and writing her name on the board.  "My naaaame iiiiissss ....."

She turns around wearing spandex pants and well....I'll let you watch.

« Last Edit: June 14, 2009, 07:45:21 AM by Harvey Birdman »
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Headin' for the south lands
Lookin' for some fun
Down below that dixie mason
I know your the one
My tongue is chasin' my eyes are wide
I can see paradise
I been down here once or twice
But I never seen it look so nice

The Prowler

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #32 on: June 14, 2009, 03:15:40 PM »
I was kinda' thinkin' that.  But Dance Flick had it's share of uncomfortable moments too. One part is the typical scene where the teacher (Lady dance teacher) is having the first day of class and writing her name on the board.  "My naaaame iiiiissss ....."

She turns around wearing spandex pants and well....I'll let you watch.


LOL, yeah I could see where that would definitely be an uncomfortable moment...

"We do the Mash Potato here, we don't eat them."  :rofl:
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"Patriotism and popularity are the beaten paths for power and tyranny." Good, no worries about tyranny w/ Trump

"Alabama's Special Teams unit is made up of Special Ed students." - Daniel Tosh

"The HUNH does cause significant Health and Safety issues, Health issues for the opposing fans and Safety issues for the opposing coaches." - AU AD Jay Jacobs

Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #33 on: June 16, 2009, 12:09:52 AM »
Taken

I'd have taken that lying bitch daughter to the woodshed.  That spoiled bitch needed a serious whipping. And the mom, hot as she is, what a mommy part.  Liam should have saved some of that rage and unleashed it on those two whores.  mommy part punted both.  My advice to the actress who played the daughter (Maggie Grace) is to never do any movies where the director wants her to run. She looks like a spastic penguin.

Liam was good. The dinner scene was classic. 

My problem with the whole thing, though, is I can't imagine him working up that kind of rage for either of those ungrateful bitches.

Mr. Brooks
First, let me say that the things I would do to Danielle Panabaker cannot be said out loud.  There is something about her...
The scene at the end where she's getting sort of horny looking at the blood spraying on the wall? Damn, girl, stab me and let me bleed. 

Beyond that? Meh. The William Hurt device was contrived and not compelling. Dane Cook?  Fuck that. Demi Moore? Yeah, she was utterly convincing. She's a female John Travolta.

Worst, though, was Kevin Costner. I didn't buy him as a killer -- he didn't get enough out of it -- nor did I buy him as a captain of industry.  This movie -- as all -- would have been better with Johnny Depp in the lead role. 

It was a decent filler. Just not noteworthy.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #34 on: June 16, 2009, 09:05:05 AM »
First, let me say that the things I would do to Danielle Panabaker cannot be said out loud.  There is something about her...

Your taste in women tends to run Howard-ish. 
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #35 on: June 16, 2009, 09:20:31 AM »
Your taste in women tends to run Howard-ish. 

My tastes run broad and deep... from Elisabeth Hasselbeck to Elizabeth Banks to Eva Mendes to Danielle Panabaker to Emily Procter to Jennifer Garner to Raven Riley. 

Expound please....
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #36 on: June 16, 2009, 09:31:37 AM »
Speaking of way behind...I finally got around to watching a couple of movies this weekend.

Quantum of Solace
I may be the last person in America to see this one, so I got that going for me.  Overall, the action was better than maybe the last few Bond flicks.  Otherwise, meh.
3 out of 5 stars

Then, the wife made me watch what I thought would be a chick flick...

Mr. and Mrs. Smith
The storyline was very far fetched, but the movie was very good.  Pitt and Jolie make a pretty good acting combo in this one.  The one downside was that she never got nekkid.
3.5 out of 5 stars
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #37 on: June 16, 2009, 09:50:58 AM »
Speaking of way behind...I finally got around to watching a couple of movies this weekend.

Quantum of Solace
I may be the last person in America to see this one, so I got that going for me.  Overall, the action was better than maybe the last few Bond flicks.  Otherwise, meh.
3 out of 5 stars

Then, the wife made me watch what I thought would be a chick flick...

Mr. and Mrs. Smith
The storyline was very far fetched, but the movie was very good.  Pitt and Jolie make a pretty good acting combo in this one.  The one downside was that she never got nekkid.
3.5 out of 5 stars

I have not seen Squanto's Solace yet.  You are not the last. 

I'm not buying that guy as Bond.  Would come closer had they chosen Jason Stratham.
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Saniflush

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #38 on: June 16, 2009, 10:12:00 AM »
Your taste in women tends to run Howard-ish. 

Dirty whores.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Godfather

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #39 on: June 16, 2009, 11:13:10 AM »
I have not seen Squanto's Solace yet.  You are not the last. 

I'm not buying that guy as Bond.  Would come closer had they chosen Jason Stratham.
Disagree, I think he kicks ass as Bond.  Stratham while excellent himself, I dont think fits the image. [side bar]Have you seen Layer Cake, good flick (minus the end) plus she gets nekkid

Sienna Miller [back]

IMO Craig is the second best bond since Connery, and I like how they have taken it more old school, not invisible cars that you can drive with a fuckin phone.  As for the movie itself Quantum of Solace while a good action flick, left much to be desired within the story line.  Casino Royale was much much stronger.
« Last Edit: June 16, 2009, 11:26:58 AM by Godfather »
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