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At Least Our Horses Be Gooder

Snaggletiger

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At Least Our Horses Be Gooder
« on: April 01, 2024, 12:22:08 PM »
I always listen to our local sports talk station on the way in to work.  This morning, I had to change the channel after listening to to this braying jack ass, who called in to talk about how grayt it iiizzz, tah be uh crimpsum tahd fan.  We'z just in the football playoffs, and Deebor done locked up all the cruits.  Basebawl is doin' real good and now we'z in thuh Fanal 4.  Who you thanks a better coach, Nate Otes err Bruce Peerrrl?

*Click*

But reality sets in.  As much as I wanted to reach through the radio and slap his bitch ass upside the head, he's right.  Been a rough few months for major Auburn sports. And it doesn't help that the school up north is enjoying so much success at the same time.

First, we gift wrap an Iron Bowl win with a muffed punt and a bumfuzzlingly stupid defensive call.

Then, we take the high of an SEC Tourney Championship, and promptly stomp it in the mud by allowing a bunch of nerds take our lunch money and send us back across the country.

Now, after averaging 8 runs a game in College Station, we still got swept and sit at 1-8 in SEC play.

Hey, but our horses can do really cool things.  So cool, they took their 6th straight SEC Title this weekend, and will gallop around for a Natty in a couple of weeks.

But things are about to change.  I'm calling it now.  No way we lose the A Day Game on Saturday.



Can we???
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Kaos

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Re: At Least Our Horses Be Gooder
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2024, 02:34:51 PM »
What if it's me?

What if I switched and started supporting "that" team?  I know what would happen. 

They'd have UConn beaten up three with the ball, mere seconds left. All they'd need to do was just need to run out the clock. Literally bounce the ball twice and it's over. Suddenly Mark Sears' eyes would spread another inch and a half wider. They'd literally be on opposite sides of his head, like a deer. As he tried to refocus, he'd dribble the ball out of bounds off his foot. UConn has .8 seconds. Inbounds to a guy who throws it backward over his head as the hillbilly who can't grow a moustache trips over a shoelace and knocks him to the ground.  Ball goes in. UConn hits the FT.  Bama tries to inbound to get a shot off, but Sears' eyes are so wide apart the ball smacks him squarely in the face and ricochets into the stands where it hits Jalen Milroes in the hand, breaking three bones.

The entire Bammer football coaching staff would get evangelical and decide to only play people who were baptized in the Mormon faith. They'd install a baptismal pool in the south endzone and play that god-awful elephant sound every time somebody got dunked.  Open the season with seven straight wins and then lose the next five.  A cross-dressing scandal would follow.

I should sprinkle my mojo on them perhaps.
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

chinook

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Re: At Least Our Horses Be Gooder
« Reply #2 on: April 01, 2024, 08:01:26 PM »
well there's only 4 SEC teams that compete beyond a club. 
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jmar

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Re: At Least Our Horses Be Gooder
« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2024, 01:03:00 PM »
I hate that Aubie wins a natty (Auburn's 11th) and doesn't even get any exposure. Instead we get these ridiculously bad mascots that aren't the least bit entertaining.
« Last Edit: April 02, 2024, 01:14:05 PM by jmar »
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