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Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei

Snaggletiger

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Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« on: September 05, 2023, 03:38:22 PM »
Testicle U @ FUGA:  No analysis.  I just like saying Testicle U

FUGA:  172

Ball State:  -11teen

Ole Miss @ Tulane: The Black Bear Shark Fins pummeled Mercer by 66 points.  What does that mean?  About as much as Auburn beating UMass 59-14.  As we discussed, Auburn was playing guys I didn’t even know were on the roster before half time.  One look at the scoring summary for Ole Miss, and you see that they were still flinging the ball all over the field up 50 plus points. Not really comparing the two teams, but it appeared Kiffy was trying to erase all of last season’s second half melt down, in one game.  This won’t be as much of a cake walk.  Tulane was 12-2 last year, with wins over Kansas State and USC.  They handled a pretty decent South Alabama in Week 1, and they’re playing at home. I still think Hobby Lobby wins convincingly.

Ole Miss:  35

Tulane:  21


Texas A&M @ Miami:  I’ve never liked either of these programs, and especially not A&M since the greasy car salesman took over.  These two teams are much like Notre Dame.  Win a game, and they’re BACK, baby. Both had snoozers to start the season, with the Faggies handling New Mexico, and Miami taking care of….well…..Miami.  This one is in south FLA. Honestly, I don’t know shit from shinola about either of these teams.  This prediction is straight from the “I hope Jimbo loses every game” department.

Miami:  31

TA&M:  24


Texas @ Alabama:  I didn’t see one minute, or one highlight of either of the opening games for these clubs.  Did I mention I have Spectrum?  From all the talk, apparently, Jalen Milro is now the front runner for the Heisman, and this is again, the best Bama defense since 92’.  Last season, Bama was certainly not a juggernaut, and either squeaked by some games, like Texas, or lost the close ones.  Everyone recalls how Texas had them on the ropes out in Austin, but that same Longhorn team still went 8-5 in 2022. I gotta’ think the game being at the Crapstoned will be the difference.

Bama:  42

Texas:  28


Auburn @ Cal:  The Lib Bears were F’n awful last year.  Gave Colorado their only win of the season.  They rolled up big points and stats against North Texas, but that’s probably because we stolt all their good players.  I still have no clue what to think about our guys after Saturday.  We’ll just have to wait and see.  But, I have a feeling we’ll be ripping it up on the ground for 300 plus, and keeking a lot of the touchdowns.

Auburn:  49

Cal:  21


Feel free to opine and/or talk amongst yourselves.   
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CCTAU

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2023, 03:45:37 PM »
If Ewers stays healthy this game, it might be a game.
The key will be how Millroe reacts to less wide open WRs.

As for AU, I’m not sure what will happen. I’m hoping out D puts up a better run front. But we may suck in pass coverage also. The  UMass QB got hurt early, so we didn’t get to see him slice and dice for more than one series.
If we can run the ball, we can limit their touches. With the new rules, we are lucky to get two,series a quarter in.

The rest? I don’t care to think on it.
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

chinook

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2023, 04:19:58 PM »
i'm here to only keep post count up.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2023, 04:32:07 PM »
i'm here to only keep post count up.

Stay vigilant, my friend.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2023, 04:39:37 PM »
Gran Turdsmo     52
Snaggs' wife's handbag ornaments  6

Juice for Heisman!  38
Head for the Quarter  24

Can I ride my bike to South Beach?  27
Lawsuit?  What lawsuit?   21

Steers   24
Queers  21

G. Rection   42
Under Protest  34
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2023, 05:22:53 PM »
The team I hate most - 63
Balls (hehe) - 7

He probably drives a Dodge Dart - 45
Polluted waves from the ninth ward  - 34

Yeah, well... that 2001 team -  21
Former Auburn staffers & terrible humans unite -  24

The team I hate second most - 31
What Buzz said - 28

Home team - 38
Chicks with tits & dicks  - 30

Cal plays us close and makes it a back and forth affair, and honestly, I could see them coming away with the W if our defense doesn't learn the playbook and how to shed blocks.  I think our offense will open up the playbook and keep us ahead in the end.
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Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

chinook

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« Reply #6 on: September 06, 2023, 12:23:56 AM »


Home team - 38
Chicks with tits & dicks  - 30

Cal plays us close and makes it a back and forth affair, and honestly, I could see them coming away with the W if our defense doesn't learn the playbook and how to shed blocks.  I think our offense will open up the playbook and keep us ahead in the end.

you could have just said plainsmen 
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The Six

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« Reply #7 on: September 06, 2023, 09:16:57 AM »
Here's some for you G5 sickos

The only thing to do here is screw - 30
The thing you wear when screwing - 20

Oddest state flag in the union - 33
Coach with no sleeves - 13

Statesboro's Mid - 26
Imagine Draggins - 16

Blue Bulls - 20
New York's One True Team - 10

And now for non-SEC P5 action

Cheese Graters - 36
Our Flag Goes Everywhere - 24

Murder Smurfs - 19
Space Mouse - 16

Okay Boomer - 41
Rhett Jets - 24

No Offense - 13
Mild Wind - 7
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wesfau2

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« Reply #8 on: September 06, 2023, 09:35:33 AM »
No analysis necessary:
UGA -  65
BSU - 7

Tulane is a tough out at home and I think OM will struggle to light up the scoreboard against actual competition.
OM - 30
TU - 35

Miami actually played a team with a pulse and looked solid.  Bobby and Jimbo will start mean-mugging each other on the sideline, marking the beginning of a season-long feud.
A&M - 28
UM - 42

Bama comes back to earth a bit and UT slows them down a bit, but not quite enough.
Bama - 28
UTx - 14

Cal's stats are great...after week one.  SEC talent builds on a solid opening week and smothers the baydwellers.
AU - 42
Cal - 10
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« Reply #9 on: September 06, 2023, 09:51:44 AM »
No analysis necessary:
UGA -  65
BSU - 7

Tulane is a tough out at home and I think OM will struggle to light up the scoreboard against actual competition.
OM - 30
TU - 35

Miami actually played a team with a pulse and looked solid.  Bobby and Jimbo will start mean-mugging each other on the sideline, marking the beginning of a season-long feud.
A&M - 28
UM - 42

Bama comes back to earth a bit and UT slows them down a bit, but not quite enough.
Bama - 28
UTx - 14

Cal's stats are great...after week one.  SEC talent builds on a solid opening week and smothers the baydwellers.
AU - 42
Cal - 10

I like this.  I hope we are that much better than Cal.  Also, Ole Miss & Texas A&M losing would bring happy tears.
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Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

wesfau2

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« Reply #10 on: September 06, 2023, 09:58:35 AM »
I like this.  I hope we are that much better than Cal.  Also, Ole Miss & Texas A&M losing would bring happy tears.

Keep hearing that Cal's QB is injured/day-to-day.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

wesfau2

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« Reply #11 on: September 06, 2023, 10:27:24 AM »
Keep hearing that Cal's QB is injured/day-to-day.

Also, per Ferguson, these guys are at practice this week:

RB Jarquez Hunter, CB Nehemiah Pritchett, JACK Jalen McLeod, CB J.D. Rhym and WR Nick Mardner
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

GH2001

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« Reply #12 on: September 06, 2023, 01:37:09 PM »
I’m with weskie
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WDE

Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« Reply #13 on: September 06, 2023, 01:42:39 PM »
Also, per Ferguson, these guys are at practice this week:

RB Jarquez Hunter, CB Nehemiah Pritchett, JACK Jalen McLeod, CB J.D. Rhym and WR Nick Mardner

Let McNurra play!!
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Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

War Damn Six

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« Reply #14 on: September 06, 2023, 03:26:27 PM »
In a bit of bad news, Keys had surgery and is out for a bit. 
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wesfau2

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« Reply #15 on: September 06, 2023, 05:23:33 PM »
In a bit of bad news, Keys had surgery and is out for a bit.

Dammit.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« Reply #16 on: September 10, 2023, 09:42:22 AM »
Ripped victory from the jaws of defeat. Never in my wildest dreams would I have predicted our defense to carry the team, and for our team to be in a defensive struggle against a PAC team. Felt like an episode of The Twilight Zone. Nixon and Asante, in particular really settled in. The latter of which was the real reason we won that game. What a menace… shit your pants speed, fueled by hate, and now teams will try to scheme away from him which narrows the field a good bit. 

Would have liked to see what Holden could have brought to the table last night. The offense was atrocious, and was far too vanilla in play calling for that close of a game. Glad that we have an additional tune up to iron out what we can so that we don’t get our collective shit pushed in on the SEC slate.

In other news, the slow decline in the Alabama dynasty is becoming more apparent. I thought he’d win one more championship this year and ride off into the sunset, and he still very well could, but they’re having the same issues that we are… no downfield threats on offense & no QB on the roster that inspires game changing confidence. They’re still talented, but are beatable this year.

A&M getting walked all over by Miami and the heat on Jimbo’s seat… I imagine that’s what it’s like to take a viagra.
« Last Edit: September 10, 2023, 09:51:22 AM by Snakebite »
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Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

CCTAU

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« Reply #17 on: September 10, 2023, 12:08:19 PM »
It was difficult to watch.
And it brought all of the slimy Hugh hating roaches out of the wall.
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« Reply #18 on: September 10, 2023, 12:16:37 PM »
It was difficult to watch.
And it brought all of the slimy Hugh hating roaches out of the wall.

As for last night, it felt like Harkin and Gus had a love child, and that love child called plays. I have faith it will get better.
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Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Kaos

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Zwei
« Reply #19 on: September 10, 2023, 12:34:51 PM »
It was difficult to watch.
And it brought all of the slimy Hugh hating roaches out of the wall.

I’m still in the wall.  And I still hate. 
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