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The Pentaverate

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The Pentaverate
« on: June 16, 2022, 10:52:21 AM »
Michael Meyers was only moderately funny when he was on Saturday Night Live and had a couple of characters that had a minimal amount of staying power.

He used that as a springboard to the movies -- same character in one semi-tolerable film Wayne's World and the same character in the completely unwatchable WW2.  Fell backward into a tub of shit and came out rosy with Austin Powers.  And took over for Chris Farley with a good take on Shrek (for which all he had to do was read the lines as written). 

Other than that?  Some of the most godawful shit ever recorded on film.  God fucking awful. It's so bad Nic Cage, John Travolta and Will Ferrell all think it's shitty enough they wouldn't want to be associated with it.   Most egregiously, her appearance in the disturbingly shitty Meyers film Love Guru derailed the entire career of the delicious Jessica Alba. It couldn't be overcome. 

Meyers is "back" in this apocalyptically horrible, humorless pile of shit The Pentaverate... which is, from the 14 minutes and eleven seconds I was able to stomach this reeking bucket of garbage, a mockery of the concept of the Illuminati. It's A-BYS-MAL.  There's absolutely nothing to recommend.  Nothing. 

I really, really, really hate seeing Keegan-Michael Key dragged to the depths of hell with this project.

It's one of the worst things I've ever seen.  Watching two lobsters fuck a donut in slo-motion would be imminently more entertaining and enjoyable.
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.