Revised Bond titles

Kaos · « **on:** July 15, 2019, 04:17:40 PM »

Now that there's going to be a new, black, female 007 we might as well revise the titles for much of the Bond franchise.

She will drive a 64 Impala convertible, lifted, with gold spinner rims obviously. Monepenny will be replaced by Mo Money Bitch. Q will be replaced by Q-Pain.

Films:
A View To A Kill: Look Here, Imma Cap that Ass

Dr. No: Aw, Hell Naw, Doc

For Your Eyes Only: Don't Be Side-Eyeing Me, Ho

Die Another Day: Lord Jesus, Ain't Nobody Got Time for Dying Today

The Man With The Golden Gun: Skee Skee Skee, M'fucker

Hmmm... I probably should stop this.

The Six · « **Reply #1 on:** July 16, 2019, 08:02:52 AM »

Seriously though, what's the big deal? This character has evolved many, many times over the five+ decades of films. So they want a woman to be Bond? Been talking about that since Basic Instinct and Sharon Stone? So they want a minority to play the character? Been talking about that for 10 years as well. So what?

AUJarhead · « **Reply #2 on:** July 16, 2019, 08:57:13 AM »

In the case of 007, they are fundamentally changing who the character is. And if people want to see that, then they will go to the movies. I have no desire to see a female 007, so I won't spend money on it. Just don't label me a sexist because of it.

Why not make her agent 003 or 008, and you can have her own movies, set in the same movie universe as Bond?

The BBC did the same thing with Doctor Who. I don't like the female Doctor Who, so I stopped watching. Doesn't bother me. Also doesn't make me a sexist.

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #3 on:** July 16, 2019, 09:14:23 AM »

I suppose the movie will start with Bond sitting in a jail cell beginning his 75 year term for rape? #metoo

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #4 on:** July 16, 2019, 09:35:34 AM »

Quote from: AUJarhead on July 16, 2019, 08:57:13 AM

In the case of 007, they are fundamentally changing who the character is. And if people want to see that, then they will go to the movies. I have no desire to see a female 007, so I won't spend money on it. Just don't label me a sexist because of it.

Why not make her agent 003 or 008, and you can have her own movies, set in the same movie universe as Bond?

The BBC did the same thing with Doctor Who. I don't like the female Doctor Who, so I stopped watching. Doesn't bother me. Also doesn't make me a sexist.

Don't sell yourself short. You're extremely sexy.

Kaos · « **Reply #5 on:** July 16, 2019, 11:18:43 AM »

Quote from: The Six on July 16, 2019, 08:02:52 AM

Seriously though, what's the big deal? This character has evolved many, many times over the five+ decades of films. So they want a woman to be Bond? Been talking about that since Basic Instinct and Sharon Stone? So they want a minority to play the character? Been talking about that for 10 years as well. So what?

So you'd be okay with Gabourey Sibide as Santa Claus in Santa Claus IV?

Some things should just be left alone. This is one of them.

The Six · « **Reply #6 on:** July 16, 2019, 12:18:23 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on July 16, 2019, 11:18:43 AM

So you'd be okay with Gabourey Sibide as Santa Claus in Santa Claus IV?

Some things should just be left alone. This is one of them.

I'm for creative freedom and artistic interpretation.

AUJarhead · « **Reply #7 on:** July 16, 2019, 02:55:36 PM »

Quote from: The Six on July 16, 2019, 12:18:23 PM

I'm for creative freedom and artistic interpretation.

The same Hollywood creative freedom and artistic interpretation that ruined Jack Reacher?

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #8 on:** July 16, 2019, 02:59:12 PM »

Quote from: AUJarhead on July 16, 2019, 02:55:36 PM

The same Hollywood creative freedom and artistic interpretation that ruined Jack Reacher?

Y U no like scientology?

AUJarhead · « **Reply #9 on:** July 16, 2019, 03:06:43 PM »

Quote from: Buzz Killington on July 16, 2019, 02:59:12 PM

Y U no like scientology?

I have no problem with Tom Cruise. But when a character is described as being 6'5" and built like a linebacker, you're changing the character fundamentally when you cast Tom Cruise in the role.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #10 on:** July 16, 2019, 03:07:44 PM »

Quote from: AUJarhead on July 16, 2019, 02:55:36 PM

The same Hollywood creative freedom and artistic interpretation that ruined Jack Reacher?

I remember Wench being pissed that they were casting Cruise in the part. I was good with the movie because I'd never read or seen anything about Reacher before the movie came out, so I had no preconceived notions about it. I like the first one and will watch it every time it's on. I'm just a big fan of the one-man wrecking crew flicks. Give me a lot of the early Jason Statham. Even the horribly acted Steven Seagal movies.

Yes, there are 27 of you surrounding me with AK-47's. But I have this piece of metal pipe I found.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #11 on:** July 16, 2019, 03:10:59 PM »

My favorite scene. Remember, you wanted this.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #12 on:** July 16, 2019, 03:21:32 PM »

Back on the original topic, I think Jar hit the nail on the head for me. Make her part of the same organization as Bond but a different agent doing her own thing. .003 or whatever. But to have a female replace the actual Bond is just reedonkulus.

Unless she gots big titties and likes to show them a lot.

Kaos · « **Reply #13 on:** July 16, 2019, 03:33:37 PM »

Quote from: The Six on July 16, 2019, 12:18:23 PM

I'm for creative freedom and artistic interpretation.

Coming soon to a theater near you:

Forrest Whitaker as Richard M. Nixon in Watergaaeeeete, Boi!

Co-starring Chris Tucker as John Erlichmann, Steve Harvey as G. Gordon Liddy, Kevin Hart as Chuck Colson, David Ortiz (in his first starring role) as Henry Kissinger, Ice Cube as H.R. Halderman, Don Cheadle as John Mitchell. With Eddie Murphy and Jamie Foxx as Woodward and Bernstein. Also starring Mariah Carey as Pat Nixon and Morgan Freeman as Dwight Eisenhower.

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #14 on:** July 16, 2019, 04:14:36 PM »

Quote from: Snaggletiger on July 16, 2019, 03:21:32 PM

Back on the original topic, I think Jar hit the nail on the head for me. Make her part of the same organization as Bond but a different agent doing her own thing. .003 or whatever. But to have a female replace the actual Bond is just reedonkulus.

Unless she gots big titties and likes to show them a lot.

00362436

Kaos · « **Reply #15 on:** July 16, 2019, 04:29:39 PM »

Quote from: Snaggletiger on July 16, 2019, 03:21:32 PM

Back on the original topic, I think Jar hit the nail on the head for me. Make her part of the same organization as Bond but a different agent doing her own thing. .003 or whatever. But to have a female replace the actual Bond is just reedonkulus.

Unless she gots big titties and likes to show them a lot.

I don't find National Geographic boobs interesting.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #16 on:** July 16, 2019, 04:34:39 PM »

Quote from: Buzz Killington on July 16, 2019, 04:14:36 PM

00362436

What a winning hand.

The Six · « **Reply #17 on:** July 16, 2019, 04:54:28 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on July 16, 2019, 03:33:37 PM

Coming soon to a theater near you:

Forrest Whitaker as Richard M. Nixon in Watergaaeeeete, Boi!

Co-starring Chris Tucker as John Erlichmann, Steve Harvey as G. Gordon Liddy, Kevin Hart as Chuck Colson, David Ortiz (in his first starring role) as Henry Kissinger, Ice Cube as H.R. Halderman, Don Cheadle as John Mitchell. With Eddie Murphy and Jamie Foxx as Woodward and Bernstein. Also starring Mariah Carey as Pat Nixon and Morgan Freeman as Dwight Eisenhower.

Isn't that basically the casting idea behind Hamilton?

AUJarhead · « **Reply #18 on:** July 16, 2019, 04:54:55 PM »

Quote from: Buzz Killington on July 16, 2019, 04:14:36 PM

00362436

Only if she's 5'3".

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #19 on:** July 16, 2019, 04:57:29 PM »

Quote from: AUJarhead on July 16, 2019, 04:54:55 PM

Only if she's 5'3".

Red beans and rice didn't miss her