Conf Champ Weekend

Godfather · « **Reply #60 on:** December 06, 2016, 04:27:43 PM »

My psychiatrist told me I'm crazy. I told him "If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion." He said "Alright, you're ugly too!"

djsimp · « **Reply #61 on:** December 06, 2016, 04:52:05 PM »

My wife made me join her bridge club ... I jump next Tuesday.

dallaswareagle · « **Reply #62 on:** December 06, 2016, 05:30:02 PM »

Real story:

Sent my parents some Basic training photos in all kind of military garb. I got a letter back where my mom said I looked all grown up and shit like that. My dad must have told her he would mail it and took it. At the bottom in his hand writing was.

Those photos of you make me want to buy "Russian war bonds" I was sad.

Godfather · « **Reply #63 on:** December 07, 2016, 09:47:54 AM »

Quote from: dallaswareagle on December 06, 2016, 05:30:02 PM

Real story:

Sent my parents some Basic training photos in all kind of military garb. I got a letter back where my mom said I looked all grown up and shit like that. My dad must have told her he would mail it and took it. At the bottom in his hand writing was.

Those photos of you make me want to buy "Russian war bonds" I was sad.

Even your father hated you.

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #64 on:** December 07, 2016, 09:56:59 AM »

I told my psychiatrist that everybody hates me. He told me I was being ridiculous...everyone hasn't met me yet.

djsimp · « **Reply #65 on:** December 07, 2016, 09:58:38 AM »

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #66 on:** December 07, 2016, 10:13:37 AM »

I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."

The Prowler · « **Reply #67 on:** December 07, 2016, 06:52:20 PM »

Real story:

My dad was my little league baseball coach. I was afraid of being hit with the ball by the fastest throwing pitcher in the league, so I would step out of the batter's box when I would swing.
To teach me not to be afraid, my dad put me in the middle of the box and placed his hand on my back, to keep me from stepping backwards. The pitcher then beaned me in the head with a fastball.

chinook · « **Reply #68 on:** December 07, 2016, 10:33:10 PM »

Quote from: The Prowler on December 07, 2016, 06:52:20 PM

Real story:

My dad was my little league baseball coach. I was afraid of being hit with the ball by the fast throwing pitcher in the league, so I would step out of the batter's box when I would swing.
To teach me not to be afraid, my dad put me in the middle of the box and placed his hand on my back, to keep me from stepping backwards. The pitcher then beaned me in the head with a fastball.

Damn that explains all. of. it.

The Prowler · « **Reply #69 on:** December 07, 2016, 10:45:25 PM »

Quote from: chinook on December 07, 2016, 10:33:10 PM

Damn that explains all. of. it.

I also played catcher, the batter took a step back and knocked me over the head with the bat.

Before I quit baseball, I was playing right field and the coach called everyone in because the batter was going to bunt. He didn't bunt...he line drived the ball to my face.

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #70 on:** December 08, 2016, 09:05:35 AM »

Baseball is such a violent sport.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #71 on:** December 08, 2016, 09:19:57 AM »

Quote from: The Prowler on December 07, 2016, 06:52:20 PM

Real story:

My dad was my little league baseball coach. I was afraid of being hit with the ball by the fastest throwing pitcher in the league, so I would step out of the batter's box when I would swing.
To teach me not to be afraid, my dad put me in the middle of the box and placed his hand on my back, to keep me from stepping backwards. The pitcher then beaned me in the head with a fastball.

Meaning we shouldn't believe anything else you say?

CCTAU · « **Reply #72 on:** December 08, 2016, 10:10:41 AM »

I feel like I am at a Dirt family reunion...

The Six · « **Reply #73 on:** December 08, 2016, 10:20:23 AM »

Quote from: CCTAU on December 08, 2016, 10:10:41 AM

I feel like I am at a Dirt family reunion...

You ever been to the X-gate? Puts that group to shame especially if we let Buzz hit the meade and send him to the outdoor restrooms.

Kaos · « **Reply #74 on:** December 08, 2016, 10:50:36 AM »

Quote from: The Prowler on December 07, 2016, 06:52:20 PM

Real story:

My dad was my little league baseball coach. I was afraid of being hit with the ball by the fastest throwing pitcher in the league, so I would step out of the batter's box when I would swing.
To teach me not to be afraid, my dad put me in the middle of the box and placed his hand on my back, to keep me from stepping backwards. The pitcher then beaned me in the head with a fastball.

Anything past the bolded part of this story is just exaggeration and BS.

dallaswareagle · « **Reply #75 on:** December 08, 2016, 11:05:06 AM »

Quote from: The Six on December 08, 2016, 10:20:23 AM

You ever been to the X-gate? Puts that group to shame especially if we let Buzz hit the meade and send him to the outdoor restrooms.

Those garbage bags never stood a chance.

The Six · « **Reply #76 on:** December 08, 2016, 11:24:18 AM »

Quote from: dallaswareagle on December 08, 2016, 11:05:06 AM

Those garbage bags never stood a chance.

Those co-eds walking by know Buzz's religion as they say.

The Prowler · « **Reply #77 on:** December 08, 2016, 06:08:35 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on December 08, 2016, 10:50:36 AM

Anything past the bolded part of this story is just exaggeration and BS.

Nope, 100% true. I got talked into playing Tee ball, because when my dad asked me if I wanted to play Tee ball, I was really thirsty and all I heard was Tea. I said yes. The rest of the day I was wanting to know where the tea was, I had to settle for a Mello Yello.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #78 on:** December 08, 2016, 09:01:42 PM »

Quote from: The Prowler on December 08, 2016, 06:08:35 PM

Nope, 100% true. I got talked into playing Tee ball, because when my dad asked me if I wanted to play Tee ball, I was really thirsty and all I heard was Tea. I said yes. The rest of the day I was wanting to know where the tea was, I had to settle for a Mello Yello.

Since you said Tee Ball, it reminded me of my kid's first "sports" experience. In his very first at bat in Tee Ball, he hits it and as is usually the case at that level, the 15 or so kids in the field all ran after it at one time. He paused and saw what was gong on....then proceeds to help all the other kids run after the ball too...bat in hand. They somehow all arrived at pretty much the same time.

Chip off the ole block.

Kaos · « **Reply #79 on:** December 08, 2016, 09:48:41 PM »

Quote from: Snaggletiger on December 08, 2016, 09:01:42 PM

Since you said Tee Ball, it reminded me of my kid's first "sports" experience. In his very first at bat in Tee Ball, he hits it and as is usually the case at that level, the 15 or so kids in the field all ran after it at one time. He paused and saw what was gong on....then proceeds to help all the other kids run after the ball too...bat in hand. They somehow all arrived at pretty much the same time.

Chip off the ole block.

My daughter started playing softball at 5 years old on a 6-8 team. Friend was coaching and needed one more kid to fill the roster.

First game she drew a walk. Reached second when half the infield ran in to try to field a slow roller. Next kid up was the only one who could hit. Eight year old natural athlete. She crushes one into the outfield. When my kid finally realizes she needs to run, the third base coach, all 6-6 300 of him is windmilling and screaming Go home! Go home!

So she ran right past him, tears streaming down her face, went through the dugout and straight to my truck. She was going home. Took me two games to convince her to try it again.