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Best presents

Kaos

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Best presents
« on: December 25, 2014, 10:54:23 AM »
Auburn related or no....

Full size and fully operational leg lamp from a Christmas story. Electric sex is gleaming from the window now.

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Snaggletiger

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #1 on: December 25, 2014, 12:22:17 PM »
Auburn related or no....

Full size and fully operational leg lamp from a Christmas story. Electric sex is gleaming from the window now.

My dad has had the leg lamp glowing in his window every Christmas for years.  Fra-jee-lay 
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

djsimp

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #2 on: December 25, 2014, 02:50:02 PM »
I thought this was pretty cool. Its from 2004-05 and has the cheerleaders sigs on it.



It makes screaming at children much easier.
« Last Edit: December 25, 2014, 02:57:28 PM by djsimp »
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Yoda

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #3 on: December 25, 2014, 04:02:47 PM »
First child born on 12/19.  Baby boy 8 lbs 1oz.
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Token

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #4 on: December 25, 2014, 07:01:32 PM »
Gift card.
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bgreene

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #5 on: December 25, 2014, 09:24:19 PM »
My kids went to the dollar store with their own money and bought me two grill lighters, needle nose pliers and a shower mirror. So I would have to say, it's been a good Christmas.
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"Men are made stronger on the realization that the helping hand they need is at the end of their own arm."

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WiregrassTiger

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #6 on: December 25, 2014, 09:45:03 PM »
My kids went to the dollar store with their own money and bought me two grill lighters, needle nose pliers and a shower mirror. So I would have to say, it's been a good Christmas.
Object in mirror is smaller than it appears in shower.
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Re: Best presents
« Reply #7 on: December 26, 2014, 01:04:09 AM »
Thought it would be nice to go shopping with my mother.  Took me about five minutes to remember how much I hate shopping with my mother.

Bought a shirt.

She handed me $200 Christmas morning and told me to use it to find clothes I like. 

Even a year ago I would have hated that kind of present, but now?  Yeah.  I need clothes and shoes and belts and shit.
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

Snaggletiger

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #8 on: December 26, 2014, 09:22:14 AM »
Congrats Yoda.

Luke Bryan gets Snagette all lathered up so I got tix to a show in Orlando.  Then, we'll take mini to the Hairy Potters the next day.
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djsimp

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #9 on: December 26, 2014, 10:35:25 AM »
First child born on 12/19.  Baby boy 8 lbs 1oz.

So, we were at my moms house last night for the Christmas gathering as the mom wanted us to look at here new tree ornament. My wife was quick to figure out that it was a sonogram inside the ornament. Come to find out it was my brother and his wife, well the wife, that is now locked and loaded.

That is cool and all because its their first and I get to be on the other side of the fence this time. The funny part was last month during our Thanksgiving/IB gathering, my 7 yr old was hammering away at my brothers wife about why she doesn't have any kids yet. Picture MaCaulay McCullough in Uncle Buck. This went on all night. Finally the right question was asked as my daughter boxed the poor girl in. "Will you be pregnant in the morning" she asked. The answer, "I will try". Well, the next morning my brothers wife was pregnant. I'm sure my brother had something to do with this, I hope, but I have to give props to my little girl for basically annoying this baby into existence.

Short version. I won.
« Last Edit: December 26, 2014, 11:25:15 AM by djsimp »
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wesfau2

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #10 on: December 26, 2014, 11:02:57 AM »
So, we were at my moms house last night for the Christmas gathering as the mom wanted us to look at here new tree ornament. My wife was quick to figure out that it was a sonogram inside the ornament. Come to find out it was my brother and his wife, well the wife, that is now locked and loaded.

That is cool and all because its there first and I get to be on the other side of the fence this time. The funny part was last month during our Thanksgiving/IB gathering, my 7 yr old was hammering away at my brothers wife about why she doesn't have any kids yet. Picture MaCaulay McCullough in Uncle Buck. This went on all night. Finally the right question was asked as my daughter boxed the poor girl in. "Will you be pregnant in the morning" she asked. The answer, "I will try". Well, the next morning my brothers wife was pregnant. I'm sure my brother had something to do with this, I hope, but I have to give props to my little girl for basically annoying this baby into existence.

Short version. I won.

Your children are demon-spawn, doing the devil's work.

Making you, of course, the anti-christ. 
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On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

jmar

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #11 on: December 26, 2014, 11:23:43 AM »
Your children are demon-spawn, doing the devil's work.

Making you, of course, the anti-christ.
Yes but as anti-christ's go he seems like one of the better ones.
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djsimp

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #12 on: December 26, 2014, 11:28:52 AM »
Your children are demon-spawn, doing the devil's work.

Making you, of course, the anti-christ.

I say destroy the cosmos, ask questions later.
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jmar

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #13 on: December 26, 2014, 11:35:04 AM »
Get about two days a year of self indulgence where everyone leaves and nothing is required of me. Today is one of them so I plan to drink Winter Wheat, grill pork chops and start on the second season of Peaky Blinders as was recommended by War Eagle!!!. That's it...my best present to myself is down time.
« Last Edit: December 26, 2014, 12:26:20 PM by jmar »
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Kaos

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #14 on: December 26, 2014, 01:24:40 PM »
So, we were at my moms house last night for the Christmas gathering as the mom wanted us to look at here new tree ornament. My wife was quick to figure out that it was a sonogram inside the ornament. Come to find out it was my brother and his wife, well the wife, that is now locked and loaded.

That is cool and all because its their first and I get to be on the other side of the fence this time. The funny part was last month during our Thanksgiving/IB gathering, my 7 yr old was hammering away at my brothers wife about why she doesn't have any kids yet. Picture MaCaulay McCullough in Uncle Buck. This went on all night. Finally the right question was asked as my daughter boxed the poor girl in. "Will you be pregnant in the morning" she asked. The answer, "I will try". Well, the next morning my brothers wife was pregnant. I'm sure my brother had something to do with this, I hope, but I have to give props to my little girl for basically annoying this baby into existence.

Short version. I won.

I didn't know seven year olds had that kind of spermish potency.  Congrats. 
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djsimp

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #15 on: December 26, 2014, 01:51:10 PM »
I didn't know seven year olds had that kind of spermish potency.  Congrats.

Its a gift that keeps on giving.
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WiregrassTiger

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #16 on: December 26, 2014, 05:43:48 PM »
I appreciate the gifts that I received from my x friends/fans. FYI- I will be accepting gifts into the new year so it's not too late to be able to say that you know WT personally. Send me a gift and I will put you on my personal Christmas card list. For gifts over $50, I will give you a personal phone call lasting 1 minute or more.
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Yoda

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #17 on: December 26, 2014, 07:02:41 PM »
Congrats Yoda.



Thanks, enjoy the concert and hopefully the wife will let you borrow your balls for the night.
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wesfau2

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #18 on: December 26, 2014, 07:14:48 PM »
I say destroy the cosmos, ask questions later.

Some men just want to watch the world burn.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

bottomfeeder

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #19 on: December 26, 2014, 09:25:15 PM »
I got laid Christmas Eve and xmas day.
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