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The authority on fired coaches

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The authority on fired coaches
« on: November 27, 2012, 09:09:57 AM »
These guys are pretty spot on in their analysis of who will be fired.  Just interesting to get their view.

I do disagree with them though, I don't think Chizik quit working...I mean he might of this season, but that was not the cause for our downfall.  His blueprint was.

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5 Head Coaches Fired on Bloody Sunday and Now There Are 13 I-A (FBS) Head Coaching Jobs Open

In what can only be described as a Bloody Sunday….

….FIVE I-A (FBS) Head Coaches lost their jobs on Sunday including…

Gene Chizik, Auburn
Danny Hope, Purdue
Tom O’Brien, NC State
Frank Spaziani, Boston College
Jon Embree, Colorado

….and as of right now there are…

13 I-A (FBS) Head Coaching Jobs Open

Last week we here at Coaches Hot Seat ranked the then SEVEN I-A (FBS) Head Coaching Jobs that were open and now we rank ALL 13 Open Head Coaching Jobs including Georgia State which is moving to I-A (FBS) in 2013 and has an opening for a head coach due to the retirement of Bill Curry:

13 I-A (FBS) Head Coaching Jobs Now Open Ranked

1.  Auburn
2.  Tennessee
3.  Arkansas
4.  California
5.  Colorado
6.  NC State
7.  Purdue
8.  Kentucky
9.  Boston College
10.  UTEP
11.  Western Michigan
12.  Idaho
13.  Georgia State

You can read our analysis of the Open Head Coaching Jobs at Tennessee, Arkansas, California and Kentucky here…

SEVEN I-A (FBS) Schools Now Looking for Head Football Coaches – Coaches Hot Seat Head Coaching Job Quality Scale – 10 to 1, Coaches Hot Seat Blog, November 20, 2012

…..where we introduced the…

Coaches Hot Seat Head Coaching Job Quality Scale – 10 – 1

10 – Great Head Coaching Job
9 – Very Damn Good Head Coaching Job
8 – A Very Good Head Coaching Job
7 – A Head Coaching Job Worth Pursuing
6 – A Little Above Average Head Coaching Job
5 – An Average Head Coaching Job
4 – A Below Average Head Coaching Job
3 – A Tough Head Coaching Job
2 – A Very Tough Head Coaching Job
1 – A Head Coaching Job We Wouldn’t Let Our Dog Take

…and we will now apply the Coaches Hot Seat Head Coaching Job Quality Scale to FIVE Bogus BCS Head Coaching Jobs that opened up on Bloody Sunday which includes Auburn, Purdue, NC State, Boston College and Colorado.


Auburn
– Kevin Scarbinsky of al.com has most of the details of what actually led to Gene Chizik’s firing in his latest…

Gene Chizik set the table for his own dismissal at Auburn, Kevin Scarbinsky, al.com

…most of which we had heard was going on within the Auburn football program during the last couple of seasons BUT even worse it is our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat that Gene Chizik just FLAT-OUT QUIT working as hard as he worked during his successful coaching career after Auburn won the Bogus BCS national title in 2010 and as is almost always the case…

Less Work + Unmotivated Employee = Mediocre or Worse Performance

….and 3 – 9 and 0 – 8 as the head coach of Auburn football is so far below what Auburn football is capable of we are of a mind that Gene Chizik might do well to drop off his US Passport at the closest US consulate (probably in Atlanta) so that Chizik can’t leave America and thus foreigners would not see how lazy Americans can become when they are paid a few Million Dollars and starts living a fat and lazy life.

Bozo the Clown….

….could have won SEVEN games coaching the Auburn football team in 2012 and the performance of Gene Chizik at Auburn over the past 22 months is beyond shameful and is in our opinion borderline malfeasance and non-performance of assigned duties which means in our opinion that Gene Chizik just FLAT-OUT QUIT doing the job that Auburn University hired and paid him to do.

Gene Chizik should be embarrassed and ashamed of the job he did at Auburn University over the past 22 months and what has happened at Auburn with Chizik is just another example of the kind of thing that can go wrong when a school hands or promises Millions of Dollars of Guaranteed Money to someone that for the vast majority of their lives has made just a fraction of that kind of money and in many cases all of that newfound wealth destroys the coach’s work ethic and fundamentally changes not only the coach but his family as well as their priorities in life get thrown out-of-whack and their perspective on what is really important in life is as in the movie…Gone With the Wind.

As for the Coaches Hot Seat Coaching Job Quality Rating for the Auburn head coaching job we would rate Auburn at an….

Job Quality Ranking: 8

….that was a 9 during Tommy Tuberville and Pat Dye’s time as the head coaches at Auburn….BUT…..IN OUR OPINION behind the scenes, just off stage left, over there in the bushes and on a farm just outside of the Auburn city limits lurks “A Thing” that really makes the Auburn job tougher than most other jobs in the SEC and country and that “THING” is a small group of Auburn alumni and boosters that are not a problem at all for the Auburn head football coach when things are going well which EQUALS 9 Wins or Better and beating Alabama at least 50 percent of the time BUT when Auburn is not winning 9 Games and is not beating Alabama on some kind of a regular basis….

THE THING

….will slowly but steadily reach out its tentacles and wrap them around a head coach and his coaching staff and would suffocate the coach to death if the head coach was not fired first which to date has ALWAYS been the case with THE THING.

Here’s the thing about THE THING that sits just off to the side of the Auburn head football coaching job and hovers above Jordan-Hare Stadium and Pat Dye Field on autumns in the Fall on The Plains and when we write “hover” we mean “hovering” in the luxury suites at Jordan Hare Stadium!

THE THING could easily and quickly be destroyed by any Head Football Coach at Auburn University and all the New Head Football Coach at Auburn University would need to do is to call in the alumni and boosters that make up THE THING into a conference room at a local hotel and deliver a “Glengarry Glen Ross” type speech to THE THING….

New Head Coach’s speech to THE THING:

“Hey, I appreciate your support of Auburn football but if any of you believe that I am going to stand for you piss ants putting your grubby and greedy hands into my Freaking Football Program at Auburn then you have badly underestimated who I am and what I am all about.

I want to make myself very Damn clear….

(New Head Football Coach looks around the room straight into the eyes of THE THING)

YOU Bastards will stay the Hell away from MY Football program and if I hear of any of YOU Bastards doing anything on the campus, off the campus of anywhere on this Freaking Planet with MY Football program then you will have to answer to ME!

(New Head Coach slams his hand on the conference table)

Under-Freaking-Stand?

Good.

Now Auburn University has hired me to do THREE Things:

1. Field A Winning Football Team

2. Graduate Players that are on the Football Team

3. Beat Nick Saban’s Ass

Well, that is exactly what the Hell I am going to do BUT nowhere in my job description does it say I have to answer to a bunch of paper-pushing office hacks that played political games to get to the top of their companies that may or may not know what the Hell they are talking about when it comes to putting a winning football team onto the field BUT….

Guess what?

I know how to put a winning football team onto the field and I am going to graduate players in my football program and most of all…

I am going to kick Nick Saban’s Ass

…..and thus I could give a rat’s ass what the Hell any of you think about ANYTHING!

Understand?

YOU Bastards are the not the Head Football Coach at Auburn University!

I AM!

Now if any of you would like to step out back of this hotel and would like to discuss this subject in a Man-To-Man way then please stand-up right now because I will kick your ass just like I am going to kick Nick Saban’s Ass.

No takers?

Good.

Now that we have that straight I would like to make something else very clear.

YOU Bastards are not recruiters for the Auburn football team and if I hear about even a hint that you Bastards or any of your “assistants” are out “helping” Auburn to land recruits I will drop down on your asses like Freaking Batman in your home or office and be assured you do not want me stopping by your home or office very Damn pissed off because I will whip your ass in front of your co-workers or family if you do ANYTHING relative to players that Auburn is or might recruit to play for MY Football Team

Is that clear enough?

Good.

Lastly, this is America and you can say anything the Hell you want about me, Auburn football or any Freaking else thing that comes into your precious head as you sit on your ass at the office or at home and think about how the Auburn football program could be better BUT be assured that if I am not doing my job, if I am not working my ass off around the clock to make Auburn football into a winner and if I am not doing everything possible to kick Nick Saban’s ass I will have decided myself that I am not motivated enough to do this job and thus I will resign long before you ask me to go because only Very Damn Sorry People take money when they are not doing their Damndest to do their job and that sure the Hell will not be me.

IF any of you have a problem with me, my coaches, or about anything with the Auburn football program I want you to tell my assistant (introduces assistant standing off to the side) who you will be able to reach 24 hours a day on his cell phone number that we will give to you tonight and rest assured everything that “X” hears will be passed along to me and if necessary I will be in touch with you…..time permitting of course and considering how far the Alabama football program is in front of Auburn football right now I will have Very Damn Little free time in the next 24 months so sure the Hell don’t be waiting by the phone in the next couple of years waiting for my call because I will not be calling.

As for Coach “X” (New Head Football Coach points to a man sitting at the table) he can come in and out of the football offices anytime he wants BUT for Damn sure just like Coach “X” would not have allowed anyone during his coaching career to interfere in him doing his job I will not tolerate or allow Coach “X” or anyone else to undermine MY football team or program and if Coach “X” does try to undermine me or my football program then I will just have to whip Coach “X’s” ass and if “X” doesn’t think I can do that then maybe we can go in back of this hotel right now and settle that issue tonight.

Oh, you don’t want to fight Coach “X?”

Good.

Now gentlemen I have a Helluva lot of work to do so I have to go and thus I will leave you with a….

War Eagle!”

Would we here at Coaches Hot Seat take the Auburn job if offered?

What kind of Freaking question is that?

OF COURSE we would take the Auburn job if offered because we….

Would love to coach in the SEC

Auburn is a great head coaching job

Auburn University is a great school

We would love the opportunity to compete against and kick Nick Saban’s Ass and rest assured Coaches Hot Seat would both out work AND….

Kick Nick Saban’s Ass!

What Auburn University needs to do is go out and find a coach that embraces the challenge of coaching Auburn football, a coach that can tell THE THING to Go to Hell and get the Hell out of his way OR ELSE and would a coach that would love the opportunity to…

Kick Nick Saban’s Ass!

http://www.coacheshotseat.com/
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bottomfeeder

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Re: The authority on fired coaches
« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2012, 09:25:14 AM »
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...after Auburn won the Bogus BCS national title in 2010 and as is almost always the case…

WTF is this shit?
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AUChizad

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Re: The authority on fired coaches
« Reply #2 on: November 27, 2012, 09:44:31 AM »
WTF is this shit?
BCS is qualified by the word Bogus every time they use it. You can put away your pitchfork.
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Godfather

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Re: The authority on fired coaches
« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2012, 09:48:22 AM »
BCS is qualified by the word Bogus every time they use it. You can put away your pitchfork.
What he said.

Same as us calling it the MNC (Mythical National Championship)
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JR4AU

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Re: The authority on fired coaches
« Reply #4 on: November 27, 2012, 09:48:43 AM »
WTF is this shit?

That shit is always going to be there...Fuck him.   I don't think Chiz quit working though.  I think he never knew how.  The rest is pretty much on target.
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Godfather

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Re: The authority on fired coaches
« Reply #5 on: November 27, 2012, 09:57:19 AM »
That shit is always going to be there...Fuck him.   I don't think Chiz quit working though.  I think he never knew how.  The rest is pretty much on target.
See above... they don't mean it as a slight against us.  They call all of the championships bogus...because technically they are.


These guys are pretty spot on in their analysis of who will be fired.  Just interesting to get their view.

I do disagree with them though, I don't think Chizik quit working...I mean he might of this season, but that was not the cause for our downfall.  His blueprint was.

Also its like I say it and then you say it 5 posts later. ;)
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Snaggletiger

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Re: The authority on fired coaches
« Reply #6 on: November 27, 2012, 10:05:44 AM »
That shit is always going to be there...Fuck him.   I don't think Chiz quit working though.  I think he never knew how.  The rest is pretty much on target.
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Godfather

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Re: The authority on fired coaches
« Reply #7 on: November 27, 2012, 10:20:32 AM »
That shit is always going to be there...Fuck him.   I don't think Chiz quit working though.  I think he never knew how.  The rest is pretty much on target.

They don't mean it as an insult.....HEEEEYYYYY I see what you are doing.
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dallaswareagle

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Re: The authority on fired coaches
« Reply #8 on: November 27, 2012, 10:26:30 AM »
Gene Chizik should be embarrassed and ashamed of the job he did at Auburn University.

Two things:

I know I am embarrassed.

He's not, he thinks he did it the right way   5-19 (IS) and 3-9 (2012)  not is fault.  I honestly don't ever see him getting anything above Div II coaching again. 
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AUChizad

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Re: The authority on fired coaches
« Reply #9 on: November 27, 2012, 10:45:26 AM »
Gene Chizik should be embarrassed and ashamed of the job he did at Auburn University.

Two things:

I know I am embarrassed.

He's not, he thinks he did it the right way   5-19 (IS) and 3-9 (2012)  not is fault.  I honestly don't ever see him getting anything above Div II coaching again.
DII head coach or DI DC. I have no good reason to believe he won't pick back up being a top notch DC when he gets back to it. Perhaps it is better suited for him.
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WiregrassTiger

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Re: The authority on fired coaches
« Reply #10 on: November 27, 2012, 11:18:24 AM »
These guys seem to know a lot about how things are run in Auburn. I think that they are spot on with what it would take from the new HC in the hypothetical conversation--I just don't see it taking place. Since Jacobs is still the AD, I'm fearful we settle for another Chiz.

I would love to see Pat Sullivan take the AD job immediately after the "search" is complete. Hopefully, we'll know officially about the new HC on Sat. before or during the SEC champ. game.
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Godfather

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Re: The authority on fired coaches
« Reply #11 on: November 27, 2012, 11:20:20 AM »
Hopefully, we'll know officially about the new HC on Sat. before or during the SEC champ. game.
MY guess, if it doesn't happen this week (and I don't think it will) .  Then expect the end of December.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: The authority on fired coaches
« Reply #12 on: November 27, 2012, 11:30:56 AM »
MY guess, if it doesn't happen this week (and I don't think it will) .  Then expect the end of December.

This.  No faith in this committee as long as Jacobs is a part of it. The whole world had known for weeks that we were going to need a new corch.  So they wait til the season's over and form a committee?  Fuck that.  They should be naming a coach this week...period.
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Re: The authority on fired coaches
« Reply #13 on: November 27, 2012, 11:33:48 AM »
This.  No faith in this committee as long as Jacobs is a part of it. The whole world had known for weeks that we were going to need a new corch.  So they wait til the season's over and form a committee?  Fuck that.  They should be naming a coach this week...period.
My sources say it was Professor Plum in the Solarium with a pickle.
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WiregrassTiger

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Re: The authority on fired coaches
« Reply #14 on: November 27, 2012, 11:43:35 AM »
This.  No faith in this committee as long as Jacobs is a part of it. The whole world had known for weeks that we were going to need a new corch.  So they wait til the season's over and form a committee?  fudge that.  They should be naming a coach this week...period.
I suspect there is a short list and that the wheels were already in motion. That's why I'm hoping we know by Saturday, before it's time for my bath.
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dallaswareagle

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Re: The authority on fired coaches
« Reply #15 on: November 27, 2012, 12:56:44 PM »
DII head coach or DI DC. I have no good reason to believe he won't pick back up being a top notch DC when he gets back to it. Perhaps it is better suited for him.

I could see a DII coaching or a religious place that has a football team-Kids there don't have schollys and really play for the love of the game. All he would have to do is coach. Something he failed to do in 2012.
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'