Funny Delusional Bammer Message Board Post

[AUChizad]

http://life.atlantafalcons.com/FORUMS/Topic3519027-52-1.aspx#bm3519839

#I smell a little "back door conspiracy" of sorts between Tuberville and Richt vs .... ISPY02 2008-05-30 07:52:50

Coach Saban. I'll call their union "jointly engaged recruiting killers" or JERKS for short. In any event it is very interesting that this unholy union of the lazy are now signing out of the same hymnal...so to speak. They are in lock step against Coach Saban. Make as little or as much of the following as you will:

There is a great divide and almost open hatred between Coach Dooley, a borderline diety among the older Dogs and the Adams/Richt/AD at UGA. The current group has attempted to marginalize Coach Dooley and his accomplishments. And wash themselves of anyone associated with him. A couple of the older group has managed to hang around and one or two have eased back into the picture but for the most part their is a split. Look at who Coach Saban surronded himself with at LSU...the crux of his staff were Dooley and his hires as head coaches guys. Jones a young defensive coach. Smart a young defensive coach. Searals although he played at au a close friend of the UGA guys. Muschamp a young defensive coach. (Muschamp loves Coach Saban and the violent disagreements and paranoia Tubs had with him are rooted in that). And the coup was the hiring and making of young Derrick Dooley himself. Coach Saban was instrumental in helping DD get the La Tech job and some in Athens are nervously eyeing him. Paranoia, jealousy, envy, fear, you name it when a regime change takes place and all these "previous" guys land at the feet of the new guru.

Who among rival SEC coaches had the biggest life changing "morph" last year...old staid Richt himself. He frankly fears the driving force that has landed to his west at the sleeping giant. First he treats the UA game as some sort of armageddon...closing practice for the first time in history...no talking to the press. Dogs came into Tuscaloosa wild eyed and tore the place apart when they won in overtime. Then he starts making little comments about Kirby Smart taking Hanks and Elder (both of whom they had on hold to sign and place). Then he starts, unfounded as it turns out, rumors of Coach Saban holding tryouts at schools in Georgia, etc. Tubs is standing on the sideline, lurking of course, skinning and grinning, muttering amen under his breath. Richt and Tubs were the driving force behind Coaches not being able to go to High schools in the spring. Why? Because they don't have the energy or the personal "ummphhh" to create the hysteria that Saban and Meyer do. No more or less. BTW this pair were instrumental as well in the text messaging ban simply because neither can connect very well with teens like Meyer can. But be that as it may Richt and Tubs were behind the internet myth of "tryouts". And the "JERKS" lead ban on spring evals by head coaches...known as the Saban rule. Also look at how Richt has tryed to transform his image from The Right Reverand Richt to soul man...solja boy Mark. His potentially disasterous riot scene at Jax was the sign of a man who has placed class, judgement and personal safety of a hundred thousand people behind personal ambition and paranoia. A page right out of the Right Reverant Wright book of personal ambition. And again Tubs is making personally degrading remarks out the side of his mouth about the "types" of people he recruits from battlegrounds like south Florida while the old sly fox points to the "types" of recruits coming from places like Birmingham, Mobile and Gadsden. Those happen to be bound for Tuscaloosa of course. Well keep it up Tom, we'll spot you Shannon, Meyer, and Jimbo's leavings and keep our poor little boys of old Alabama. Which happens by the way to be the 6th leading producer of D1 signees in America. But whatever.

Now comes the little trip to Iraq. Not many duck ponds there but they made a cute pair. Look at me back home folks...we've saved the world from text messaging and coaches getting to know the guidence counselors, teachers and principles of the students that are going to receive hundreds of thousands of grants in aid money and be campus hero's and now we are showing the world we can count to....7???? Although half of my kids back in Athens are in jail or have recently been there and a solid half of the kids back in Auburn can't count to 7 much less read and score double digits on the wonderlic but they give a damn strong book report. And don't they look so fine in their purple suits committing out of East Bumflunked Mississippi Junior college. Some how I don't think the creators of the Auburn creed had that in mind when they put pen to paper describing the Auburn Man. Truly to each his own though.

Face it what we have here is a failure to communicate.

A bunch of mercenary coaches with a bunch of mercenary students appealing to a bunch of fans who want it both ways. The serenity of the Grove with all it represents and this neat little blood lust, ego satisfying thing we call college athletics. What gets to me is the hypocrits. I like the guys who call it what it is...a rat race and the rats are winning! Read what some of the hypocrits said this week in Destin. In an uproar over Coach Saban being "ahead of the curve" one put it over his perfectly legal use of video technology. Meyer of course thinks it's "silly" but he then says he is going to do it...WHAT???? Obviously his capacity for silly is very low but then again he didn't think of it first and his ego is at stake here. And then the RIGHT REV RICHT in all his pomposity has no immediate plans (I'm sure his alums are glad to hear that) but can't resist getting in one last shot. "If it's legal to do then next year I'm sure we'll do it"...ignoring the fact that he is the last human on earth who hasn't heard that it is legal. And of course the Fat One has to raise his ugly head. That icon of virtue who recently breathed a sigh of relief that the statute of limitations has passed when his many taped transgressions and breaking of the rules had to be destroyed per a legal agreement spoke thusly: "if they're going to do it then by damn we're going to do it" ignoring whether or not it is a good idea or will be helpful to his school. But a man whose primary chores the last few years has been to wipe the powdered sugar from his massive lips and make sure he didn't forget to zip up his pants in the aftermath can't be held too accountable. He then adds this gem. "It's like texting, (taking a shot at Meyer) it's just another way to communicate. Somebody will eventually rule it out. That's why the rule book is so thick...out of abuses. So to paraphrase. It's an abuse but we are doing it. But then he telegraphs his intentions of getting on the side of the JERKS and slowing these hard workers down. Richt then admits to making only one high school visit during his five years in Athens. Not sure I would have went there REV. The most visible figure in education in Georgia won't go to their high schools. Jemifreakingney. Too busy practicing your high dives Mark? You only mwalk off with $2M per year REV so earn some of it will you? Get off your lazy, hypocritical azz and do your job. No wonder Coach Dooley sent his boys to train under Saban!!!! I'm tired. And I refuse to proof read this so you grammer police have yourself a ball. BTW, the little set too between Clemson and UA, both on the borders of Georgia can't be getting to you can it REV? Call Tommy...he'll show you some hot spots in Destin where the two of you can relax.

[AuburnChopper 3.0]

Okay, who's got the "cliff's notes" version of this rant?   

[DnATL]

Okay, who's got the "cliff's notes" version of this rant?   

Is this concise enough?
6

[Tiger Six]

It's a good thing that he isn't worried about the grammar people ripping him apart, because that was frickin' painful to read. 

I expected a "All your base are belong to us" at the start of the next paragraph all the way through.  That is, if there had been a logical flow and paragraph structure to that bullshit.

[El Guapo]

Someone set us up the bomb