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Alright, X'ers, Settle This...

wesfau2

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Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« on: May 22, 2008, 03:51:27 PM »
Birdman and I had a heated debate and we need the populace to weigh in.

Birdman contends that John Mayer is doing just fine by going balls-deep in Jennifer Anniston as often as possible.

I contend that a young, guitar-slinging, starlet magnet like Mayer could be banging hotter ass.  Let me be clear: Anniston is hot.  Very very hot.  BUT...she's a bit older than John and he could be getting some younger, hotter tail.

Discuss.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
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Re: Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2008, 04:00:21 PM »
Birdman and I had a heated debate and we need the populace to weigh in.

Birdman contends that John Mayer is doing just fine by going balls-deep in Jennifer Anniston as often as possible.

I contend that a young, guitar-slinging, starlet magnet like Mayer could be banging hotter ass.  Let me be clear: Anniston is hot.  Very very hot.  BUT...she's a bit older than John and he could be getting some younger, hotter tail.

Discuss.

I think John Mayer's public act is getting tired, and if he has Jennifer Anniston pegged literally and figuratively....   He should roll with it.   
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AWK

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Re: Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2008, 04:01:20 PM »
Birdman and I had a heated debate and we need the populace to weigh in.

Birdman contends that John Mayer is doing just fine by going balls-deep in Jennifer Anniston as often as possible.

I contend that a young, guitar-slinging, starlet magnet like Mayer could be banging hotter ass.  Let me be clear: Anniston is hot.  Very very hot.  BUT...she's a bit older than John and he could be getting some younger, hotter tail.

Discuss.
He did Jessica Simpson as well and that didn't work out.  Maybe he is into older broads? Or maybe Simpson is batshit crazy.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2008, 04:17:49 PM »
Birdman and I had a heated debate and we need the populace to weigh in.

Birdman contends that John Mayer is doing just fine by going balls-deep in Jennifer Anniston as often as possible.

I contend that a young, guitar-slinging, starlet magnet like Mayer could be banging hotter ass.  Let me be clear: Anniston is hot.  Very very hot.  BUT...she's a bit older than John and he could be getting some younger, hotter tail.

Discuss.
He's probably looking for a Mother figure and Anniston is one hot MILF.  In his spot, I would probably continue hitting that like a starving kid hits a pinata, while seeking out some younger stank once she falls asleep at 8 or 9...
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2008, 04:21:51 PM »
Hey, Mayer may have a dinky little wacker (I sympathize) and these glam foxes eventually leave for larger man-meat.  All I know is, this guy can rip a guitar on stage in front of thousands and has at least sniffed, possibly licked if not boffed:

Jennifer Love Hewitt

Jessica Simpson

Cameron Diaz

Minka Kelly

And now Jennifer Anniston

Footnote: Source People Magazine Special Double Issue May 12, 2008 "Jen and John's Hot New Romance"

I submit that only Kaos could (And probably will) make some half-cocked argument that this guy's cock, small as it may be, is not the hottest thing in Hollywood right now.  God, it's good to be John.

« Last Edit: May 22, 2008, 04:23:22 PM by Harvey Birdman »
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AWK

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Re: Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2008, 04:23:00 PM »
Hey, Mayer may have a dinky little wacker (I sympathize) and these glam foxes eventually leave for larger man-meat.  All I know is, this guy can rip a guitar on stage in front of thousnds and has at least sniffed, possibly licked if not boffed:

Jennifer Love Hewitt

Jessica Simpson

Cameron Diaz

Minka Kelly

And now Jennifer Anniston

Footnote: Source People Magazine Special Double Issue May 12, 2008 "Jen and John's Hot New Romance"

I submit that only Kaos could (And probably will) make some half-cocked argument that this guy's cock, small as it may be, is the hottest thing in Hollywood right now.  God, it's good to be John.


You should take a side job as a write for porno websites.
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2008, 04:24:55 PM »
I grew up on Penthouse Forum.  Same guy's been writing those "Letters" for 30 years.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

GarMan

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Re: Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2008, 04:50:45 PM »
Birdman and I had a heated debate and we need the populace to weigh in.

Birdman contends that John Mayer is doing just fine by going balls-deep in Jennifer Anniston as often as possible.

I contend that a young, guitar-slinging, starlet magnet like Mayer could be banging hotter ass.  Let me be clear: Anniston is hot.  Very very hot.  BUT...she's a bit older than John and he could be getting some younger, hotter tail.

Discuss.

At some point, function and performance are better than form.  Let me 'splain myself...

There are some incredible looking dames out there, but many don't know how to properly work the mechanics.  It’s like one of those super models that stand next to exotic sports cars.  They might be able to drive a Honda to Starbucks, but they’ll never be able to run a Ferrari at high speed on a curvy, winding road course hitting the straightway at 250 mph. 

As a rule of thumb, I’ve found that the younger, hotter babes don’t know how to drive very well.  Yeah, they might get you to Qwik-e-Mart and Starbucks, but that doesn’t always cut it. 
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My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.  - Winston Churchill

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.  - Mark Twain

Nothing says "Obey Me" like a bloody head on a fence post!  - Stewie Griffin

"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others."  - Ayn Rand

AWK

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Re: Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« Reply #8 on: May 22, 2008, 05:06:38 PM »
At some point, function and performance are better than form.  Let me 'splain myself...

There are some incredible looking dames out there, but many don't know how to properly work the mechanics.  It’s like one of those super models that stand next to exotic sports cars.  They might be able to drive a Honda to Starbucks, but they’ll never be able to run a Ferrari at high speed on a curvy, winding road course hitting the straightway at 250 mph. 

As a rule of thumb, I’ve found that the younger, hotter babes don’t know how to drive very well.  Yeah, they might get you to Qwik-e-Mart and Starbucks, but that doesn’t always cut it. 

A Fukin Metaphor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

GarMan

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Re: Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« Reply #9 on: May 22, 2008, 06:19:14 PM »
A Fukin Metaphor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was an attempt at being polite...

OK...  Arm-candy chicks may look great, but many fuck like mud puddles.  You get the point. 
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My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.  - Winston Churchill

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.  - Mark Twain

Nothing says "Obey Me" like a bloody head on a fence post!  - Stewie Griffin

"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others."  - Ayn Rand

Re: Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« Reply #10 on: May 22, 2008, 06:23:30 PM »
It was an attempt at being polite...

OK...  Arm-candy chicks may look great, but many fuck like mud puddles.  You get the point. 

You fucked a "mud puddle"?   That was the first thing that came to mind?????  :rofl:

Sorry, overall I got your point.   
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Tarheel

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Re: Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« Reply #11 on: May 22, 2008, 06:34:29 PM »
It was an attempt at being polite...

OK...  Arm-candy chicks may look great, but many fuck like mud puddles.  You get the point. 

Thanks for clearing that up. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me. 
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GarMan

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Re: Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« Reply #12 on: May 22, 2008, 06:48:13 PM »
You fucked a "mud puddle"?  

I was bored.   :blink:
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My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.  - Winston Churchill

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.  - Mark Twain

Nothing says "Obey Me" like a bloody head on a fence post!  - Stewie Griffin

"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others."  - Ayn Rand

Re: Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« Reply #13 on: May 22, 2008, 06:50:03 PM »
I was bored.   :blink:

 :nagger:   Give's a whole new meaning to "playing dirty" huh....
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wesfau2

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Re: Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« Reply #14 on: May 23, 2008, 10:39:12 AM »
At some point, function and performance are better than form.  Let me 'splain myself...

There are some incredible looking dames out there, but many don't know how to properly work the mechanics.  It’s like one of those super models that stand next to exotic sports cars.  They might be able to drive a Honda to Starbucks, but they’ll never be able to run a Ferrari at high speed on a curvy, winding road course hitting the straightway at 250 mph. 

As a rule of thumb, I’ve found that the younger, hotter babes don’t know how to drive very well.  Yeah, they might get you to Qwik-e-Mart and Starbucks, but that doesn’t always cut it. 


I get what you're saying, but let's factor in the business side of Mayer's sex life.  The dude dates hot young poon and he gets coverage in all the teenybopper-celeb mags.  Then young girls go buy his albums and he visits TRL constantly.  This is good for his bank account.

This utilitarian view of his beaverquest is at odds with my opinion of the way a musician ought to be developing a career, but if I'm that guy...I'm banging all the young starlets, shaking Carson Daly's hand, and counting my millions.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Kaos

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Re: Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« Reply #15 on: May 23, 2008, 11:04:13 AM »
John Mayer is a mealy-mouth fucktard and has no business banging ANYTHING that doesn't have shaved pubes, a nutsack and a rockin' Flock of Seagulls hairdo.
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

wesfau2

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Re: Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« Reply #16 on: May 23, 2008, 11:09:12 AM »
John Mayer is a mealy-mouth fucktard and has no business banging ANYTHING that doesn't have shaved pubes, a nutsack and a rockin' Flock of Seagulls hairdo.

I agree with you, K.  The argument proceeds from the premise that he's got a history of hot young ass, so why should he be banging older (though very hot) women?
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« Reply #17 on: May 23, 2008, 12:05:26 PM »
Millions of people say you're both mongoloid fucktards who wack off to Kiss album covers. 

Well, actually I was the only one who said that.  But that's beside the point.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

wesfau2

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Re: Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« Reply #18 on: May 23, 2008, 12:16:30 PM »
Millions of people say you're both mongoloid fucktards who wack off to Kiss album covers. 


Kevin and I disagree on the merits of Kiss.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Tiger Wench

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Re: Alright, X'ers, Settle This...
« Reply #19 on: May 23, 2008, 12:29:17 PM »
Two thoughts:

1)  Older women (men too, sometimes) are usually better lovers due to experience level.  Throw in the fact that Jennifer Anniston is beautiful, smart and funny, and you have an unbeatable combination.

2)  I personally - yes, even tho I am female, for purposes of this discussion, i am thinking like a guy - I personally would do Jenifer Anniston over Jessica Simpson.  While pretty, JS is dumb as a bag of hammers, and tho I realize that to most of you, IQ points have no bearing on poon, you do have to talk to them at some point.  Better if you don't have to use pictures and words of three letters or less.
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