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41
Haley Center Basement / Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Last post by Kaos on July 29, 2025, 12:27:35 AM »
Get Away
Hulu

I almost gave up on this entry from the Simon Pegg, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, End of the World tree.  I was thiiiis close to turning it off and letting it float away. So glad I didn't. 

The horror/comedy features Nick Frost (and you'll know him from all of the films in the Hot Fuzz pantheon, he's typically Pegg's sidekick) as Richard, the patriarch of a nerdy family off to have a creepy-themed summer vacation. They're headed to a Swedish island known for some horrific events that has an annual (very long) horror play. The island typically shuts down during the festival and no outsiders are allowed, but Richard's family is insistent. They've reserved an AirBNB and they're staying. 

The family contains the typical annoying teens (boy and a girl) and a mom with an Irish accent that was, quite honestly, the only thing that kept me going to the the tipping point - the point where it got fun.  The mom's name is Aisling Bea and she's 100% definitely a MILF.

The first half-ish part of the film plays like Midsommar if Midsommar was a quirky comedy instead of the nauseating pile of wolverine dung it is. There are really weird Swedish islanders who are doing really weird rituals and other assorted grim lunacy behind the backs of the visitors. That part smacks of Midsommar.

And then, just when I was ready to give up?  The entire story turned on a dime and we veered into gleeful, joyous carnage mixed with a heavy dose of droll British humor and a perfectly placed musical choice. I didn't see the turn coming (maybe I should have) and that's a good thing. Definitely made me like the movie a whole lot more than I would have. It's just so well executed.

It's not one of those movies that everybody is going to love. But it's good enough that I'd watch it again.

If you liked the movies of the Pegg genre, give this a chance - particularly if you enjoy horror sprinkled with comedic elements.... and one hot MILF.
42
Haley Center Basement / Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Last post by Kaos on July 27, 2025, 10:45:51 PM »
Locked
Hulu

Down on his luck Pennywise breaks into Hannibal Lecter’s car. Hannibal is controlling it remotely, locks him in, and proceeds to torture him.  Kinda gleefully and kinda brutally. 

Hilarity or something ensues.  That’s about all that happens. 

Instantly forgettable. 
43
War Damn Eagle / Re: New Uniforms?
« Last post by CCTAU on July 27, 2025, 09:10:04 PM »
Orange jerseys and powder blue pants.  Trend setters...

Might as well wear crimpsun!
44
Haley Center Basement / Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Last post by Kaos on July 27, 2025, 12:01:12 PM »
Heart Eyes
Netflix

Every holiday deserves its own slasher movie. Bloody Valentine had Cupid’s day covered but there is definitely room in the horrorverse for this love-themed entry.

It’s the perfect combination of a Hallmark meet-cute and a grisly 80s slasher.  Great mix of lightness and gore. 

The will-they/wont they Sam and Diane couple here are ad execs for a jewelry outlet. Her latest campaign bombed because it focused on doomed love due to her own perpetually broken heart. He’s the relentlessly romantic fixer brought in to save the day. She, predictably, hates him.  Just as predictably the Heart Eyes killer mistakes them for a couple and the not-a-couple becomes the target of his murderous rage. 

There are a few things that didn’t flow well, and despite a lot of exposition prior to carnage the rationale behind the Valentines Day focus was never fully explained.

Still it has much more of an actual Valentines-Day theme than Bloody Valentine did. The leads don’t have much charisma but they do have an easy chemistry that makes the film work. 

The kills are creative and done in such a way that humor alleviates what could be overly gory. 

It’s not great cinema.  It will never win awards. It not even to the (fantastic) level of, say, Violent Night. But it understood what it was and it delivered both as a Hallmark-ish movie and a slasher flick.

I liked it despite the fact that it’s yet another movie that feels compelled to force feed multi-racial attraction down our throats.
45
Haley Center Basement / Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Last post by Kaos on July 26, 2025, 12:24:01 AM »
Happy Gilmore 2
Netflix

Remember when somebody thought Coming 2 America was a good idea?  Remember how it wasn’t?

Let’s ride that same failed carousel again. 

This movie is utter garbage.  Self parody. An excuse to jam pointless cameo after pointless cameo into the barest thread of a stupid story, stitched together with “nostalgic” flashbacks.

Sandler is, and has always been a terrible “actor.”   His movies are never, ever funny and this absolutely no exception. Nothing at all funny about this. It’s horrific.

I’ve made it about 30 minutes and the only possible Bowen reason I decided to try  it to begin with was erased. 

It’s a massive collection of the least funny people ever amassed.  And? He Coppola’d his no talent daughter in it which was awful.  She was worse than “Mary” in G3. 

This is a worse idea than Coming 2.  It’s Caddyshack 2, Christmas Vacation 2 level shite.  Everything this a**clown represents is what I hate about society and what ruins the game of golf - which I enjoy.  I spit on all of this.

I won’t finish it. 
46
Haley Center Basement / Re: Qual é a aposta máxima na demo Fortune Mouse
« Last post by gangad on July 24, 2025, 04:28:25 PM »
Você costuma fazer a aposta máxima? Você ganha com frequência? Nunca fiz apostas máximas porque acho que é muito arriscado. Eu também sempre jogo versões de demonstração dos caça-níqueis antes de jogar com dinheiro real, e aqui está a versão de demo Fortune Mouse: https://cardmates.com.br/caca-niquel/fortune-mouse . Sinceramente, obtive os três símbolos nessa versão gratuita com tanta frequência que até pensei em fazer a aposta máxima. A propósito, ela é de 1.250 reais nesse caça-níqueis. Talvez eu jogue como você um dia, mas, por enquanto, acho que preciso de mais experiência.
47
Haley Center Basement / Qual é a aposta máxima na demo Fortune Mouse
« Last post by enays on July 24, 2025, 04:17:22 PM »
Amigos, gostaria de experimentar um novo caça-níquel chamado Fortune Mouse. Vocês já o jogaram antes? Gostaria de jogar a versão de demonstração para praticar, mas também estou interessado em saber qual é a aposta máxima. Alguém sabe?
48
War Damn Eagle / Re: Pawl. Dem Tigers are all in jail...
« Last post by Buzz Killington on July 22, 2025, 09:01:34 AM »
We just need the girl’s daddy come out and say she deserved it.
And give the judge a big ol War Damn!
49
War Damn Eagle / Re: New Uniforms?
« Last post by Buzz Killington on July 22, 2025, 09:01:05 AM »
Orange jerseys and powder blue pants.  Trend setters...
50
Haley Center Basement / Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Last post by Kaos on July 21, 2025, 09:30:28 PM »
Wolfman

Hey. Remember when they gave Leigh Wannell the classic Universal Monster The Invisible Man?  Remember how she turned it into a Me Too, Girl Power, you get that revenge flick that wiped its butt with the source material? Remember how she cast a pasty pale ugly woman as the lead! Fun!!! 

I remember.

That’s why I was a little surprised to see her attached to this project.  Another attempt to resurrect the Universal Monster empire that fell flat on its face at the box office. 

Oh, people don’t want the old monsters they say?  No.  They just don’t want her version. 

Here, Julia Garner steps into the ugly pasty role and she’s got that part down.  The rear? She’s awful.  But she’s the powerful girl we deserve.  Or something.

It’s not all bad.  There’s a good dose of gore and some grisly moments. There’s enough to qualify as horror. And some of the transformation effects are decent. 

In its defense it hews closer to the source than her IM did.  Just not close enough. 

I’m tired of Garner and her ugly short white fro.  She peaked at Ruth and should just go away now. 
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