Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports
The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: Godfather on February 10, 2010, 01:58:12 PM
-
Birdman says hey to all, wants everyone to know his rehab for munching to much cock is going well. Wanted me to post this story and say he is in love with Jessica Simpson.
John Mayer has a big mouth.
The musician who makes "O-faces" when he plays guitar solos told Playboy magazine intimate details about his high-profile relationships with Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson, from bedroom secrets to why they broke up.
And it turns out one reason he and Aniston didn't work was because he can't keep his thoughts to himself.
Surprise!
The lovely and talented Jen Aniston.
"One of the most significant differences between us was that I was tweeting," he told Playboy. "There was a rumor that I had been dumped because I was tweeting too much. That wasn't it, but that was a big difference. The brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter. I think she's still hoping it goes back to 1998. She saw my involvement in technology as courting distraction. And I always said, '"These are the new rules.'"
Mayer went on to say he regrets they didn't last, but not without a little dig at her advanced age (compared to his).
"I'll always be sorry that it didn't last. In some ways I wish I could be with her," he said. "But I can't change the fact that I need to be 32."
Aniston just turned 41. Ouch.
But it turns out Aniston got off relatively easily in the Playboy interview compared to Jessica Simpson.
The lovely and talented Jessica Simpson.
"That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them," he spilled. "Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me... Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm."
But Mayer was just getting started on the weird sex-as-drugs metaphors.
"There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, "I want to quit my life and just f***in' snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f*** you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep f***ing you."
Yikes. Maybe Mayer should take into account Simpson's tweet from a few days ago, when she quoted Bob Dylan.
"'You can fake an orgasim but you can't fake laughter' Bob Dylan," Simpson tweeted (and misspelled) on January 30.
Is she talking to you, John?
-
I always figured Birdman loved John Mayer.
-
I always figured Birdman loved John Mayer.
Have you never heard his passionate defense of Jon Mayer?
For real...Steve loves that guy. In a totally gay way.
-
I kinda miss the Birdman.......in a non-AWK kinda way.
-
Have you never heard his passionate defense of Jon Mayer?
For real...Steve loves that guy. In a totally gay way.
I have indeed, it's scary.
-
This is our message from beyond the grave?
This?
-
This is our message from beyond the grave?
This?
Why would it not be that Jessica Simpson can and will put it on your ass? I think this is a hell of a message...