Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports
The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: Tiger Wench on February 07, 2008, 03:22:11 PM
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One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked The seamstress replie d, "No."
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord reached down again an d came up with a leather thimble.
"Is this your thimble ?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.
Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husb and along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.
(http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/4376/clooneyqj6.png)
"Yes," cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The seamstre ss replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.
(http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/4327/pittfe2.png)
Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands' needs, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.
And so the Lord let her keep him.
The moral of this story is:
Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.
Signed,
All Us Women
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Morale of the story.....
When a woman lies it is because she is talking.
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Morale of the story.....
When a woman lies it is because she is talking.
Yep. Although, to be fair, it might not be a lie at the time. The problem is that a woman changes her mind every nano-second, completely negating every sentence uttered previously.
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Morale of the story.....
When a woman lies it is because she is talking.
Morale of the story.....
When a woman lies, it's probably because she's a whore.
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A store that sells husbands opened in New York City - where a woman may go to choose a husband. At the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit our store ONLY ONCE. There are six floors, and the attributes of the men change as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a rule: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So, upon hearing of the grand opening, a woman promptly goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is sorely tempted to stay and shop, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456 to this floor. There are no men here. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid charges of gender discrimination, a store opens across the street for men. All the same rules apply.
The first floor has women who are rich. The second floor has women who are rich and love sex. The third through sixth floors have never been visited.