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Pat Dye Field => War Damn Eagle => Topic started by: Kaos on October 08, 2008, 12:44:19 AM
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1. I'd feed a big housecat a bottle of Viagra and a handful of Exlax and toss it through his car window.
2. And he had a monkey, I'd shave the monkey and glue all its hair to its chin like an Amish beard.
3. I'd put burning bags of shit on his porch and ring the doorbell
4. I'd fill up bottles with piss, knock on his door and tell him I was doing a beer brand survey. Then I'd give him a six pack of whichever he liked best.
5. I'd sit outside his house at night and play Barry Manilow CDs as loud as I could.
6. And he had a goat, I'd cut off the goat's horns and super glue them to its ass.
7. I'd tie rib roasts around his neck about the time they turned Nova or Spirit loose pre-game.
8. I'd borrow a backhoe, dig up his septic tank and sit it on the roof of his house
9. I'd tell him there was a slack-armed quarterback running his "system" in the Amazon rainforest. And then I'd put him on a plane to Pygmy-ville with a bottle of A-1 cologne and a Sams-size bottle of meat marinade as a welcoming gift for the little pop-gun-slinger's family.
10. I'd have fired his ass a long time ago.
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And if I was Tony Franklin you would Never make it to step #2.
I'd guess, when you were a kid, you tormented all the pets, probably killed some, in the neighborhood.
As a Decent Human Fucking Being you NEVER kick someone when they're down. You help them up with words of encouragement (eventhough you might not, personally, like the person) and you wish them well with whatever they do from that point forward.
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And if I was Tony Franklin you would Never make it to step #2.
I'd guess, when you were a kid, you tormented all the pets, probably killed some, in the neighborhood.
As a Decent Human Fucking Being you NEVER kick someone when they're down. You help them up with words of encouragement (eventhough you might not, personally, like the person) and you wish them well with whatever they do from that point forward.
And I guess YOU didn't notice that Kaos wrote that yesterday BEFORE CTF was fired...
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And I guess YOU didn't notice that Kaos wrote that yesterday BEFORE CTF was fired...
I feel really bad about writing it now. It was intended for humorous effect.
But I do agree that step 2 would never be reached. That horny shitting housecat would put him in the hospital.
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I just noticed that...My bad. I can't get my size 14 into my mouth so, I'm sorry KAOS....I was just being a complete Dumbass ($1 to CTF), lol. FWIW, I still think you tormented the neighborhood pets though.
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I just noticed that...My bad. I can't get my size 14 into my mouth so, I'm sorry KAOS....I was just being a complete Dumbass ($1 to CTF), lol. FWIW, I still think you tormented the neighborhood pets though.
No big.
Truth be told I feel pretty bad for the guy. Hate it didn't work and hope he lands on his feet.
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If I would've read that last night, I would've laughed my ass off. The flaming bags of shit, reminded me of the Not Another Teen Movie line.
"Lord knows you need the style points, because I get tired of the neighborhood kids putting flaming bags of shit on my front porch."
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If I would've read that last night, I would've laughed my ass off. The flaming bags of shit, reminded me of the Not Another Teen Movie line.
"Lord knows you need the style points, because I get tired of the neighborhood kids putting flaming bags of shit on my front porch."
In comedy timing is everything. Mine sucked in this instance.
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I too thought it was funny, but i'm sure now that he's back in coaching, he might be able to jump onboard with another team.
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In comedy timing is everything. Mine sucked in this instance.
See I disagree. I thought the timing was perfect. I laughed my ass off.
Doesn't mean I truly wish ill on him.