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Pat Dye Field => War Damn Eagle => Topic started by: Townhallsavoy on December 29, 2013, 06:53:56 AM

Title: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: Townhallsavoy on December 29, 2013, 06:53:56 AM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BcLvtVHIYAAvHUf.jpg)
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: bottomfeeder on December 29, 2013, 09:13:54 AM
Illusion/delusion meets reality.
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: chinook on December 29, 2013, 05:54:16 PM
Damn.  When I first saw this in another thread... I thought Chizad crafted it up...guess not.
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: Lurking Tiger on December 29, 2013, 06:03:01 PM
At first I just saw the helmets and thought it was no big deal. I have an Auburn decoration on my tree. Then I saw the saban thing. Wow.


He is much lower on my tree.
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: The Prowler on December 29, 2013, 10:56:32 PM
http://msn.foxsports.com/college-football/story/of-course-an-alabama-couple-named-their-newborn-daughter-krimson-tyde-122913 (http://msn.foxsports.com/college-football/story/of-course-an-alabama-couple-named-their-newborn-daughter-krimson-tyde-122913)
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: Buzz Killington on December 29, 2013, 10:58:29 PM
It's classy 'cause it's spelled with a "K"
She will be the toast of the main stage one day...
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: Tiger Wench on December 29, 2013, 11:57:25 PM
As one article I read said - once she hits puberty, one week a month is going to be absolute social hell. 

"Damn, bitch! Yu so gawdamwhore-monal!  Yu livin up to yor name!!"
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: Saniflush on December 30, 2013, 02:58:40 AM
She will be the toast of the main stage one day...

I suspect she will be more so satellite stage material.
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: DnATL on December 30, 2013, 07:13:44 AM
As one article I read said - once she hits puberty, one week a month is going to be absolute social hell. 

"Damn, bitch! Yu so gawdamwhore-monal!  Yu livin up to yor name!!"
Your crassly graphic humour offends the gentlemen of the X


Also, it was actually a boy
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: Montezuma58 on December 30, 2013, 09:10:57 AM
It's classy'cause it's spelled with a "K"
She will be the toast of the main stage one day...

Which will make it even weirder since little Krimson is currently a boy.  The early reports got the name right but the gender wrong.   Probably doesn't matter because anything with a pulse and that name will require most bammers to need immediate medical attention after four hours even without the use of little blue or yellow pills.
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: dallaswareagle on December 30, 2013, 03:37:16 PM

She will be the toast of the main stage one day...

I suspect she will be more so satellite stage material.

I suspect she will be cleaning both of them.
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: Saniflush on December 30, 2013, 03:39:11 PM
I suspect she will be cleaning both of them.

Running the jizz mop?  That's setting the bar pretty high.
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: Buzz Killington on December 30, 2013, 06:49:23 PM
Running the jizz mop?  That's setting the bar pretty high.
Pixie dust spreader?
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: Tiger Wench on December 30, 2013, 07:45:10 PM
Pixie dust spreader?

Beats barking for the yak woman. Ugly as sin but a damn fine cook 
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: The Prowler on December 30, 2013, 08:06:42 PM
"Though Broadhurst never attended the school and hasn't stepped foot in Bryant-Denny Stadium, he insists that the university makes him stronger as a person and he dreams about college careers there for both his Bama-named children."

http://blog.al.com/live/2013/12/phenix_city_man_father_to_crim.html (http://blog.al.com/live/2013/12/phenix_city_man_father_to_crim.html)

                                                 :haha: Stupid inbred bammers
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: Pell City Tiger on December 30, 2013, 09:11:44 PM
Quote
"You should be able to name your young'un what you want."
Sweet 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus! These morons just can't grasp the concept of "cause and effect". I sincerely hope they have a moment of clarity in 20 years or so and realize their idiotic decision was directly responsible for their children's poor prospects for a successful life.

I'm in no way besmirching the fine pulpwooders or meter readers in this fucked up state, but one must realize that painting their kids into a very tight corner right out of the gate will have nothing but a negative consequence - and all this for a bullshit allegiance to something that is nothing more than a source of entertainment.

The real gem in this article is the part where it is revealed that he met his now 24 year old wife 9 years ago (when he was 22 years old). Appalachia ain't got shit on some parts of this state.
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: WiregrassTiger on December 30, 2013, 09:57:10 PM
"Though Broadhurst never attended the school and hasn't stepped foot in Bryant-Denny Stadium, he insists that the university makes him stronger as a person and he dreams about college careers there for both his Bama-named children."

http://blog.al.com/live/2013/12/phenix_city_man_father_to_crim.html (http://blog.al.com/live/2013/12/phenix_city_man_father_to_crim.html)

                                                 :haha: Stupid inbred bammers
The Onion didn't even need to pay their creative staff for this one. They should run it. This is fantastic.
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: dallaswareagle on December 30, 2013, 10:23:32 PM

The real gem in this article is the part where it is revealed that he met his now 24 year old wife 9 years ago (when he was 22 years old). Appalachia ain't got shit on some parts of this state.


In turd terminology is that a CILF? 


Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: Montezuma58 on December 30, 2013, 10:29:50 PM

The real gem in this article is the part where it is revealed that he met his now 24 year old wife 9 years ago (when he was 22 years old). Appalachia ain't got shit on some parts of this state.


Cut them some slack.  They have hard enough time correctly counting national championships.  No harm in making a math error on something much less important like age appropriate dating.
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: RWS on December 30, 2013, 10:50:12 PM
I really really really really can't stand it when people don't name their children normal names. 
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: Montezuma58 on December 30, 2013, 11:18:32 PM
"Though Broadhurst never attended the school and hasn't stepped foot in Bryant-Denny Stadium, he insists that the university makes him stronger as a person and he dreams about college careers there for both his Bama-named children."

http://blog.al.com/live/2013/12/phenix_city_man_father_to_crim.html (http://blog.al.com/live/2013/12/phenix_city_man_father_to_crim.html)

                                                 :haha: Stupid inbred bammers

https://www.facebook.com/shane.broadhurst.1?ref=ts&fref=ts (https://www.facebook.com/shane.broadhurst.1?ref=ts&fref=ts)
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: Tiger Wench on December 31, 2013, 12:41:19 AM
I really really really really can't stand it when people don't name their children normal names.

My sister has a baby in the NICU right now named Tinkerbell Taylor [Last Name]. Or so she thought.  When the nurses wrote out the name card, Momma corrected them.

It's Tinkabelle. They gonna call her Tinka.
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: Buzz Killington on December 31, 2013, 09:55:10 AM
My sister has a baby in the NICU right now named Tinkerbell Taylor [Last Name]. Or so she thought.  When the nurses wrote out the name card, Momma corrected them.

It's Tinkabelle. They gonna call her Tinka.

That's my kinda nurra
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: DnATL on December 31, 2013, 03:57:17 PM
That's my kinda nurra
Wasn't that a song by Billy Squier?
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: Snaggletiger on December 31, 2013, 04:02:48 PM
Wasn't that a song by Billy Squier?

giggled I did
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: AU_Tiger_2000 on January 02, 2014, 10:06:47 AM
I really really really really can't stand it when people don't name their children normal names.

What are yout talking about?  Isn't your middle name actually with?

My last name is Jackson so obviously I wanted to name my son Bo.  Wife shot that down.  So I said I wanted to name him Stonewall.  She asked what could I possibly use for a middle name with that so I came up with naming him Stone Wall Jackson.  Didn't happen either. 
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: Saniflush on January 02, 2014, 10:34:59 AM
What are yout talking about?  Isn't your middle name actually with?

My last name is Jackson so obviously I wanted to name my son Bo.  Wife shot that down.  So I said I wanted to name him Stonewall.  She asked what could I possibly use for a middle name with that so I came up with naming him Stone Wall Jackson.  Didn't happen either.

Just as well.  Some North Carolinian would probably shoot him.
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: Godfather on January 02, 2014, 04:45:25 PM
His other daughter is named

Alliegh Bama

 :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: AUTiger1 on January 02, 2014, 06:07:25 PM
Just as well.  Some North Carolinian would probably shoot him.

What do you expect from people who have a goat as a mascot?
Title: Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
Post by: The Prowler on January 02, 2014, 06:19:06 PM
His other daughter is named

Alliegh Bama

 :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:
#winning