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The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: dallaswareagle on May 20, 2013, 01:52:02 PM

Title: People looking for work
Post by: dallaswareagle on May 20, 2013, 01:52:02 PM
We are hiring and looking for new people and this is some of the crap I get on resumes.

sanjac security, Texas
security guard
Apr 26, 2002 - Nov 27, 2002 watch the building and make shore ever thing is locked up .

Help build decks and car covers for custermer.Built any thing the custermer wanted.

Duties included performing oil changes, assisting mechanics as well as assisting in the shop clean up and maintenance. and to make the custormors happy.

splashtown, Texas
lifeguard
May 10, 1979 - Aug 29, 1997 watch the water and life guard . save some one if they are drowning

 :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:
Title: Re: People looking for work
Post by: Snaggletiger on May 20, 2013, 01:57:41 PM
Do you have any idea of the amount of intense training that's involved before someone is given the responsibility of watching the water?  You don't just take any yahoo off the street and give him a lifeguard tower.  If that lifeguard is not 100% focused at all times, some of the custermers could drowned.
Title: Re: People looking for work
Post by: dallaswareagle on May 20, 2013, 01:58:54 PM
And this is a reference someone gave:

Susan Wilson
mom
johnson unit prison
Title: Re: People looking for work
Post by: WiregrassTiger on May 20, 2013, 02:02:53 PM
I don't get it. It seems like you would want someone who wants to make shore everything is locked up and tries to keep the custermers happy. Maybe you are just too choozy. You are in Texas, you know.
Title: Re: People looking for work
Post by: War Eagle!!! on May 20, 2013, 02:06:45 PM
Dude was a life guard for 18 years??

Damn...
Title: Re: People looking for work
Post by: Saniflush on May 20, 2013, 02:12:35 PM
Dude was a life guard for 18 years??

Damn...

high school chicks.  He get's older they stay the same age.
Title: Re: People looking for work
Post by: bottomfeeder on May 20, 2013, 02:46:54 PM
high school chicks.  He get's older they stay the same age.
+10,000

I thought those were resumes for HS teaching positions.
Title: Re: People looking for work
Post by: dallaswareagle on May 20, 2013, 03:04:21 PM
Dude was a life guard for 18 years??

Damn...

He said he watched the water and the life guard-I took it to mean that he was the "life guard guard"?
Title: Re: People looking for work
Post by: bottomfeeder on May 20, 2013, 07:09:42 PM
http://nowaygirl.com/photos/what-happens-when-people-cant-spell-cologne/

(http://cdn2.nwgimg.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/tumblr_m2r2oaLVd01qbwn05o1_500.png)
Title: Re: People looking for work
Post by: Buzz Killington on May 20, 2013, 07:37:40 PM
And this is a reference someone gave:

Susan Wilson
mom
johnson unit prison

Jest cause momma's in prison don't mean she ain't a good character reference.  That bastard cheated on her!
Title: Re: People looking for work
Post by: Pell City Tiger on May 20, 2013, 08:12:20 PM
Jest cause momma's in prison don't mean she ain't a good character reference.  That bastard cheated on her!
That's got the makings of a country song.

A world of advice though; don't hire this motherfucker. He'll get drunk the day she gets out of prison, go to get her in his pickup truck during a rainstorm, then the bitch gets run over by a damned ol' train.
Title: Re: People looking for work
Post by: CCTAU on May 20, 2013, 11:18:36 PM
That's got the makings of a country song.

A world of advice though; don't hire this motherfucker. He'll get drunk the day she gets out of prison, go to get her in his pickup truck during a rainstorm, then the bitch gets run over by a damned ol' train.
Aw hell. You guys got it all backards. Mommas in the graveyard.
Poppas in the pen!