Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports
Pat Dye Field => War Damn Eagle => Topic started by: Townhallsavoy on August 29, 2012, 01:39:01 PM
-
To non-Alabama-Fans Alabama Fans,
This is a plea from the sane spectators of college football. We have watched for five years a growing cesspool of college football, dry humping morons litter this spectacular sport with abrasive, fantastical, boorish rhetoric that is rooted in nothing more than blatant, irrational homerism. This cesspool is commonly known as Tuscaloosa, and yes, it does house a respectable institution of learning.
For some reason unbeknownst to me, this university fails to teach its alumni and sidewalk fans proper etiquette when it comes to sportsmanship. To them, the fall season was created to showcase the splendor of Alabama football. All other teams are mere pawns used to broadcast the glory of the Mount Football Olympus, and led by Nick Zeusban, the Herculean juggernauts march through a 14 week parade while enjoying the endless showers of gifts, plaudits, and trophies. That's what they think - no, that's what they sincerely believe.
The somewhat-normal-looking Mom and Pop you see driving the suburban with houndstooth flags and a scripted A are not normal people. They are delusional. They see football as their birthright, and they are not to be pandered to, praised, or conversed with.
So, this is a plea to the non-Alabama-fans who are for some reason deciding to cheer for Alabama. This is to you, Georgia fan that I work with. This is a letter asking you to not advance the unsound idea that Alabama is going to simply "reload" this year.
Perhaps you need more of an explanation. Why should you not listen to the psychotic, obsessed fans that dominate all message boards with their masturbatory fodder? They seem to know their football and have 14 national championships to support it, right?
Wrong. Their past is irrelevant. Their claims are irrelevant. Their minds are warped and obscene. They have no respect for the game and no respect for the tradition of the game.
So let me give you just a little hint of rational thought when it comes to analyzing Alabama for 2012.
Alabama lost Trent Richardson, Courtney Upshaw, Dont'a Hightower, Mark Barron, and Dre Kirkpatrick to the NFL draft. Four of those five players were big time contributers to the 2009 national championship team and all five were pivotal for the 2011 team. Do you really believe that Xzavier Dickson, a redshirt freshman that has never seen the field, will just step in and replace Upshaw? Nico Johnson is going to make the nation think Hightower never left? Robert Lester, who was outshined by Barron for three years, is going to step into Barron's shoes? Dee Milliner or a JUCO transfer is going to replace a top ten draft pick in Kirkpatrick? Eddie "My Foot Hurts" Lacey is going to replace an arguable legendary SEC running back in Richardson?
Let that sink in for a moment.
Don't believe the lies. This isn't just a letter to my Georgia co-worker who may have been misguided now that he's lived in Alabama. This is an open letter to all non-Alabama-fans who suddenly are all about Alabama. Guys in the media. People on message boards. Gamblers making bets. Most importantly, opponents of the ego-inflated Tide.
Hopefully you understand my point and will promptly shut up about this season being Alabama's playground save for one day in early November.
Sincerely,
THS
-
Ugh...definitely not your best work. Painful.
-
Ugh...definitely not your best work. Painful.
Ditto
And this part:
an arguable legendary SEC running back in Richardson?
Seriously?
-
Ugh...definitely not your best work. Painful.
He was in the pool
-
Ugh...definitely not your best work. Painful.
Damn....really?
I spent my 20 minute lunch break trying to write something good. I guess I'll sit a few plays out.
-
Damn....really?
I spent my 20 minute lunch break trying to write something good. I guess I'll sit a few plays out.
Yeah, because what all the rest of them wrote was so much better... oh, wait... :rolleyes:
-
Yeah, because what all the rest of them wrote was so much better... oh, wait... :rolleyes:
Nice to meet you pot. My name is kettle.
-
Yeah, because what all the rest of them wrote was so much better... oh, wait... :rolleyes:
Never stopped the peanut gallery though. It's the Kaos effect, where you pretty much are never satisfied about anything.....ever.
-
Yeah, because what all the rest of them wrote was so much better... oh, wait... :rolleyes:
Meh.
I'm the one that for the past few years has tried to be somewhat of a writer for this site. I'd hope everyone here would call me out for something bad.
And it's definitely been a long time since I've written anything good.
-
Meh.
I'm the one that for the past few years has tried to be somewhat of a writer for this site. I'd hope everyone here would call me out for something bad.
And it's definitely been a long time since I've written anything good.
Well maybe that's the problem. You should have written it gooder.
-
Nice to meet you pot. My name is kettle.
Darlin', this ain't my genre...
-
Darlin', this ain't my genre...
damn skippy
:hop:
-
Darlin', this ain't my genre...
I know what is.
:fu: GF
-
I know what it.
English Motherfucker, do you speak it?
-
English Motherfucker, do you speak it?
Did what say you?
-
Didn't think it was all that bad
-
Didn't think it was all that bad
Yeah but your overall lack of being satisfied in general is spreading to others.
I didn't think it was that bad either. I've seen THS write better but it's still better than 99% of the shit on that turd they call Bleacher Report.
-
Yeah but your overall lack of being satisfied in general is spreading to others.
I didn't think it was that bad either. I've seen THS write better but it's still better than 99% of the shit on that turd they call Bleacher Report.
The shit on that turd?
-
The shit on that turd?
Yeah man you didn't see that turd...it was covered in shit.
-
Yeah, because what all the rest of them wrote was so much better... oh, wait... :rolleyes:
I don't have to suck dicks to know if I'm getting a subpar blowjob.
-
I don't have to suck dicks to know if I'm getting a subpar blowjob.
You are so wise, you are like a miniature budda covered in hair.
-
You are so wise, you are like a miniature budda covered in hair.
Take me to Pleasure Town
-
Yeah man you didn't see that turd...it was covered in shit.
Oh yes, BR is THAT bad.