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« Last post by Kaos on May 13, 2024, 11:25:43 AM »
Arkansas
Clark Duke was one of the worst parts of the death spiral of The Office. He's a half-note character at best. He was the weakest part of Hot Tub Time Machine (by a lot). Let's just be honest: He's the weak link in almost everything he's ever been in, playing that same barely baked, one dimensional partial character: Doofus, smart mouth schlub.
So here's a GREAT idea! Let him direct and star in his own movie! That's how we end up with Arkansas, a film purportedly about the Dixie Mafia -- something that is real, but nothing like the undefined caricatures this clown created.
He managed to snag some decent surrounding talent, but had no idea what to do with it. John Malcovich barely phoned in his performance as a dixie mafioso masquerading as a park ranger. Vince Vaughn was utterly convincing (sarcasm spiked high) as a southern mob boss - because southerners typically go on jersey-sounding verbal speed-talking rambles. Vivica Fox was wasted in a role that required so little of her it was shameful. Same of Michael Williams (aka Chalky White, aka Omar Little). The other Hemsworth (the non-Thor one) struggled mightily to fit into his taciturn, emotionless redneck killer role - and never got close.
This was Clark's movie, though. His completely out of place character was front and center. And he bombed in a spectacular manner. Dress, appearance, speech, performance, were all universally horrific. That he set himself up as the romantic lead with a girl who (while barely a 5) was still so far out of his wormy league rendered the entire exercise even more ridiculous. His asinine moustache and idiotic hair bun were outlandishly bad choices.
As a director? Every choice he made was wrong. Lighting? Pacing? Cuts? Dialogue? Focus? Continuity? Arc? Script? Character development? All wrong. Every bit of it. The guy got absolutely nothing right in this dismal, dreary, un-interesting, slog through a few months in the life of a handful of characters nobody would give a single fart in a hurricane about. Tragically bad.
Why did I keep watching until the end? Because the moron filmed "Arkansas" primarily within a ten-mile radius of my house.
Eastern Shore Motel over on Hwy 98? Shelton Fireworks on I-10? Daphne City Hall? Glazed Donuts next to my dentist's office? All allegedly Arkansas. Nope, all Daphne, Fairhope, or Loxley Alabama. All along the way, there were other places I recognized in the background of various scenes. That amused me enough to keep me trudging along until it ended with a pathetic whimper.
Clark must have photos of hollywood executives with live goats or something. I can't think of anyone - other than maybe Adam Sandler - who has survived in that business for that long with so little talent whatsoever. The guy literally has none. Every second he's on the screen, in anything he's ever been in, he drains the life from the moment. He's not funny. He's not charming. He apparently earnestly believes he's both of those things. And if you thought you hated him on-screen? Just wait until he's behind the camera. You'll hate him even more.
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