Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports
Pat Dye Field => War Damn Eagle => Topic started by: Kaos on January 03, 2020, 03:28:14 PM
-
Supposedly Noah Ismyboneygrowin declared for the draft.
Not sure who else is headed out.
Trying to muster a fuck and really don't have one. Whoever we have, whoever we don't, Gus will lose five fucking games.
-
Nick Coe too, obviously. Igbo would have done much better to stay, but another year in college won't make him any faster. He may get a look on his return ability alone, but I doubt he would be drafted as a CB.
-
In a nutshell, and I know about nutz, we lose arguably the 2 best D-linemen in the conference, along with Nick Coe, who didn't really have much of a year. Our LB's should stay in tact but our DB's will lose a shitload of experience in Dinson, Davis, Thomas and Igbadabingbadaboom. Granted, we have a lot of experience returning with guys like Tutt, Monday, Sherwood, McCreary etc. But it's going to be a definite reload. It's the D-line that worries me the most for obvious reasons.
On offense, how many linemen do we lose? 4 or all 6? They will be replaced by a group of guys not good enough to beat out the schleps we got now. Nix returns and the backfield only loses Kam. I've heard nothing about this but I have a feeling someone like Joiner will be entering the Continuum Transfunctioner. With Tank coming in, someone is going to step off.
Receivers: Hastings gone, but realistically that's no loss. But if Schwartz gets his time down, he may Usain Bolt to concentrate on teh sprints.
-
Movement of Jah people
-
Movement of Jah people
O yeah! Oo-yeah!
-
Movement of Jah people
(http://survivingchurch.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/exodus-7_2.jpg) (https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=http%3A%2F%2Fsurvivingchurch.org%2F2016%2F10%2F04%2Fencountering-god-in-exodus%2Fexodus-7_2%2F&psig=AOvVaw26u5_bXPEuxFxzxwifGTJO&ust=1578175010798000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCOids6S26OYCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAL)
-
(http://survivingchurch.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/exodus-7_2.jpg) (https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=http%3A%2F%2Fsurvivingchurch.org%2F2016%2F10%2F04%2Fencountering-god-in-exodus%2Fexodus-7_2%2F&psig=AOvVaw26u5_bXPEuxFxzxwifGTJO&ust=1578175010798000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCOids6S26OYCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAL)
When Cameron was in Egypt's land.....Let my Cameron Go.
-
When Cameron was in Egypt's land.....Let my Cameron Go.
Suh-winggggggggggg battah!
-
Suh-winggggggggggg battah!
Where's your brain?
-
Where's your brain?
Ferris Bueller...you're my heeeeeero.
-
Ferris Bueller...you're my heeeeeero.
Hi. Do you speak English?
-
Hi. Do you speak English?
You fellas have nothing to worry about. We're professionals.
-
You fellas have nothing to worry about. We're professionals.
(https://www.theyoungfolks.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Valet-Joyride-Ferris-Bueller.gif)
-
KJ Britt is returning.
Excellent news.
-
KJ Britt is returning.
Excellent news.
I hump your post.
-
KJ Britt is returning.
Excellent news.
That should raise his stock.
With another year under Pappoe's belt, they should be a dynamic duo.
-
KJ Britt is returning.
Excellent news.
In honor of the new trilogy.
(https://media1.tenor.com/images/fabe9b15ced449f7e82b885d6fa6ba40/tenor.gif?itemid=4529809)
-
More excellent news, Big Kat Bryant is returning for his Senior season.
Him and KJ were the ones I was most worried about.
-
More excellent news, Big Kat Bryant is returning for his Senior season.
Him and KJ were the ones I was most worried about.
Thank God. Because I was worried about who would teach the young guys to act.
https://youtu.be/oDWYIFH4Tes (https://youtu.be/oDWYIFH4Tes)
-
Follow your orders!
We need that now, more than ever!
-
Thank God. Because I was worried about who would teach the young guys to act.
https://youtu.be/oDWYIFH4Tes (https://youtu.be/oDWYIFH4Tes)
I'm just thankful he was ok after that.
-
I'm just thankful he was ok after that.
Gus had Anthony Come On Swain come back and work with the guys in the off season. I'm just hoping that Big Kat can pass down the knowledge to the younger players. It's an art form that's not easily learned.
-
The rumor mill hinting that Grimes may be out.
Are things actually changing....
-
The rumor mill hinting that Grimes may be out.
Are things actually changing....
I don't think Grimes is a problem, I think Herb Hand was. I think Grimes is still trying to build back. Could be wrong though.
-
I don't think Grimes is a problem, I think Herb Hand was. I think Grimes is still trying to build back. Could be wrong though.
I haven't heard too many people who think Grimes is a good coach.
I also don't think Chad is a big fan either.
-
Speaking of The Exodus, Wil Appleton just entered the Continuum Transfunctioner. Who is Wil Appleton, you ask? Why, he's only the QB who holds the all-time completion percentage record at Auburn University.
This one stings!!!
Changing gears, I'm actually quite curious (And Bi) to see what, if anything, Morris can do with Nix. I was talking to a HS Corch not named my BIL this weekend. Well, my BIL was there, but that's beside the point. There were two glaring problems with Nix this year, IMO. One is accuracy, or lack thereof. Thanks Captain Obvious. The other is something I've harped on all season, which is his quick tendency to bail on the play and make an Onterrio-esque sprint for the sidelines. Countless times, I've thought he had a clear pocket and should simply step up and find a receiver. I was told nay-nay.
As we've all observed, it seems that 80% or 242/315ths of the patterns for our receivers are outside the numbers. This is troof! I was told that Nix has one initial read. If that WR is not open, he is coached to head to the sidelines because quite frankly, that's where all the receivers are. It was also pointed out, correctly, that this is exactly what Jarrett Stidham did quite often. So all those times I thought Nix was panicking and running like a scalded dog for cover, the reality is.....that's just Gus.
I've always heard you guys and others talking about the lack of QB coaching, but I'm thinking if this is really how Nix and all his predecessors have been taught, how the hell do we win more than 3 games a year?
I have no idea if Morris is a good hire or if he'll be anything more than a glorified, highly paid, clipboard holder. But the way I see it, Malzahn had better let go of the reins and turn that shit over to him and at least give him a shot.
-
I have no idea if Morris is a good hire or if he'll be anything more than a glorified, highly paid, clipboard holder. But the way I see it, Malzahn had better let go of the reins and turn that shit over to him and at least give him a shot.
He rotated 6 QBs over two years. One was his 3 year starter at SMU. Each time he rotated in a guy that hadn't taken the #1 snaps that week there was a bump in production. The less coaching he did to the kids, the better they were.
Dude can't do shit for a QB.
-
He rotated 6 QBs over two years. One was his 3 year starter at SMU. Each time he rotated in a guy that hadn't taken the #1 snaps that week there was a bump in production. The less coaching he did to the kids, the better they were.
Dude can't do shit for a QB.
QB play at Arkansas was hideous. Some of the worse I’ve ever seen. Ever. And I coached or covered high school ball featuring teams like Greene County, South Lamar, Patrician, Kingwood, Hale County, Akron, Keith....
What Morris allowed on the field at Arkansas was worse than anything I saw from those teams and worse.
Fuck Gus. Fuck the buddy hire. I hate it.
-
He rotated 6 QBs over two years. One was his 3 year starter at SMU. Each time he rotated in a guy that hadn't taken the #1 snaps that week there was a bump in production. The less coaching he did to the kids, the better they were.
Dude can't do shit for a QB.
QB play at Arkansas was hideous. Some of the worse I’ve ever seen. Ever. And I coached or covered high school ball featuring teams like Greene County, South Lamar, Patrician, Kingwood, Hale County, Akron, Keith....
What Morris allowed on the field at Arkansas was worse than anything I saw from those teams and worse.
Fuck Gus. Fuck the buddy hire. I hate it.
You guys both talk about revisionist history. Morris was QB coach for one of the greatest QB's to ever be at Clemson before Deshaun Watson and then recruited and was QB coach for Watson.
Again shitty head coach does not equal shitty coordinator. We all agree that Steele is great well he was winless at Baylor...winless. Look I get it...it's Gus so the hire probably sucks, especially because it's the offensive side of the ball, but jesus lets play a game with him as OC before we all crap on him.
CCTAU: Back on the topic of Grimes we had a good offensive line when he was here for his first stint then Herb Hand came in and it went to shit. Again I'm just not sold on it being Grimes.
-
I know it's comparing apples to sirloin steak, but it's amazing to me how Arkansas digressed so much under Morris after what he did at SMU. I can see how he was a hot prospect after taking the Stangs from 2-10 to 7-6 in 3 years. They had improvement all three years. In checking the numbers in 2017 for Ben Hicks, his QB, they were:
276/472 58% 3,569 33 TD 12 INT.
Not overwhelming in a pass happy, wide open conference, but not too shabby either.
Compare that to his time at Arkansas.
2018 208/372 56% 2,582 19/7
65/137 47% 738 2/2
Nick Starkel, transfer from A&M, got more reps this season but he was Ah-Bis-mull too. Again, I know you can't really compare SMU to even an SEC dreg. But how do you go to the depths of not even sniffing an SEC win in 2 years? I have to think either Bulemia left it in Jimbo Fisher level crappy, or the culture there was horrible, or whatever. Their season pretty much mirrored our 2012 nightmare.
-
QB play at Arkansas was hideous. Some of the worse I’ve ever seen. Ever. And I coached or covered high school ball featuring teams like Greene County, South Lamar, Patrician, Kingwood, Hale County, Akron, Keith....
What Morris allowed on the field at Arkansas was worse than anything I saw from those teams and worse.
Fuck Gus. Fuck the buddy hire. I hate it.
We're simpatico here! Whoa... Sandworms. Ya hate em, right? I hate em, too!
-
You guys both talk about revisionist history. Morris was QB coach for one of the greatest QB's to ever be at Clemson before Deshaun Watson and then recruited and was QB coach for Watson.
Again shitty head coach does not equal shitty coordinator. We all agree that Steele is great well he was winless at Baylor...winless. Look I get it...it's Gus so the hire probably sucks, especially because it's the offensive side of the ball, but jesus lets play a game with him as OC before we all crap on him.
CCTAU: Back on the topic of Grimes we had a good offensive line when he was here for his first stint then Herb Hand came in and it went to shit. Again I'm just not sold on it being Grimes.
Dude is riding Boyd, Ellington, Hopkins and (riding the hardest with the least justification) Watson for all he can. Joe Moorehead could've won the ACC with that talent.
Is he what we saw half a decade ago with superior talent or is he what he's shown recently with average talent?
I think he's more the latter than the former.
-
You guys both talk about revisionist history. Morris was QB coach for one of the greatest QB's to ever be at Clemson before Deshaun Watson and then recruited and was QB coach for Watson.
Again shitty head coach does not equal shitty coordinator. We all agree that Steele is great well he was winless at Baylor...winless. Look I get it...it's Gus so the hire probably sucks, especially because it's the offensive side of the ball, but jesus lets play a game with him as OC before we all crap on him.
CCTAU: Back on the topic of Grimes we had a good offensive line when he was here for his first stint then Herb Hand came in and it went to shit. Again I'm just not sold on it being Grimes.
So the showing against Minnesota doesn't count?
I'll stop bitching (eventually) but I want it noted for the record that I was opposed to this hire even before it was proposed. When I heard some say it might be a possibility -- or even a good idea -- I was aghast. It's a butt-buddy hire and I absolutely loathe it. I hated it before it even happened, dreaded the idea from the jump.
I'll be happy to be wrong but it's a circumstance with which I'm not familiar.
-
The rumor mill hinting that Grimes may be out.
Are things actually changing....
Confirmed. He gone.
-
Confirmed. He gone.
Malzahn hires new OL Coach
Auburn, AL
December 7, 2020
Auburn head football coach Gus Malzahn moved quickly to fill the gap left on his coaching staff when offensive line coach J.B. Grimes stepped down.
"We're pleased to welcome Hector Ramirez to our staff," Malzahn said. "We appreciate everything J.B. did for us and we wish him well, but we're excited to bring some new ideas and innovation to the staff.
"Auburn has a great tradition of producing some fine offensive linemen and we're going to continue that. I believe we can win championships here and we're gonna."
Ramirez is currently the assistant manager of the Auburn, Alabama Waffle House and one of Malzahn's closest friends in the town.
"We're going to work hard with Hector to get him up to speed, but I gotta tell you it's going to be great having somebody working with me every day who I'm really familiar with. I've had a chance to watch Hector work and I'm really comfortable with his ethic and his ability to juggle multiple tasks.
"We're a running team and victories at Auburn start on the offensive and defensive line. It's the same at Waffle House. I've seen Hector handling a couple of hundred drunk college students and keeping that line moving while his staff scrambled like crazy to get all those orders filled. He was great under pressure. Just unflappable. My waffles were always perfect. That ability to multi-task and that attention to detail is what we're looking for.
"Scattered, covered, smothered, capped, chunked and topped. That's what our offensive line is going to be with Hector leading them."
Malzahn met Hector about eight years ago and said that he often designs plays at his standard Waffle House table using the salt shaker as QB, butter for the receivers, a balled up straw paper as the running back and jelly packets for the offensive line.
Over the years, Hector has joined Malzahn and helped him move the jelly around. Sometimes Hector just needed the jelly for another table, but other times he did help Malzahn generate some ideas. Legend has it that Hector designed the offensive line set for Malzahn's famous whirlybird plays.
"That thing's gonna work," Malzahn said of the dipsydoodle bird play. "We're gonna keep coming back to it until it does. Hector's gonna be a big help with that."
Ramirez signed a four-year deal worth approximately $450,000 per year, a step up from his current $51,000 salary at WH.
"It's not that much," Malzahn said of the salary. "My BMW cost more than that."
-
Too likely to be funny.
But funny.
-
Too likely to be funny.
But funny.
Maybe Reese Dismukes. He's selling insurance in Montgomery.
-
Maybe Reese Dismukes. He's selling insurance in Montgomery.
I figured Lee Ziemba
HE is thinking about the job but he's got a guy on the other line talking about boxes.
-
So the showing against Minnesota doesn't count?
He had no input, in that game.
What you guys are actually truly missing is (you think it really matters Eddie?) Meaning Morris ain't gonna be the one to fuck up our shit. Gus is/will continue to do so.
Those of us hopeful about Morris are hopeful for one reason and one reason only. This might be the first time we will actually have an independent Offensive Coordinator.
Morris might be the only guy (outside of probably Hugh Freeze) that Gus might actually release and let him be OC. He ain't ever going to let anyone else do it. I mean come on guys you think Lashlee or Lindsey or Dilly Dilly were actually developing our offense? bahahahhah So at least we get to see an independent OC that can focus on his job and maybe develop something. You guys act like we had other options. We can go back to Gus as OC (which will probably happen in game 5) it isn't going to matter. We will be 3-5 losses. My point is bitching about Morris...who the fuck cares...our problem is and will always be Gus. I'm just hoping maybe Morris is a helping factor.
But go complain about Morris because he will be the scapegoat if it doesn't work, and we will still have Gus on the sidelines after he takes back the offense for the 75th time and we still lose 3-5 a year.
/endrant
-
He had no input, in that game.
What you guys are actually truly missing is (you think it really matters Eddie?) Meaning Morris ain't gonna be the one to fuck up our shit. Gus is/will continue to do so.
Those of us hopeful about Morris are hopeful for one reason and one reason only. This might be the first time we will actually have an independent Offensive Coordinator.
Morris might be the only guy (outside of probably Hugh Freeze) that Gus might actually release and let him be OC. He ain't ever going to let anyone else do it. I mean come on guys you think Lashlee or Lindsey or Dilly Dilly were actually developing our offense? bahahahhah So at least we get to see an independent OC that can focus on his job and maybe develop something. You guys act like we had other options. We can go back to Gus as OC (which will probably happen in game 5) it isn't going to matter. We will be 3-5 losses. My point is bitching about Morris...who the fuck cares...our problem is and will always be Gus. I'm just hoping maybe Morris is a helping factor.
But go complain about Morris because he will be the scapegoat if it doesn't work, and we will still have Gus on the sidelines after he takes back the offense for the 75th time and we still lose 3-5 a year.
/endrant
The one on top....that's me.
The one on bottom....that's your post.
(http://www.montrealdogblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/why-do-boy-dogs-hump-other-boy-dogs-01-600x600.jpg) (http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwj4hrbEmvTmAhXMzlkKHdOHAgAQjRx6BAgBEAQ&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.montrealdogblog.com%2F21388%2Fhumping%2F&psig=AOvVaw1Wcqv9T6fYSbsDiXVXPXVb&ust=1578579735470382)
-
He had no input, in that game.
What you guys are actually truly missing is (you think it really matters Eddie?) Meaning Morris ain't gonna be the one to fuck up our shit. Gus is/will continue to do so.
Those of us hopeful about Morris are hopeful for one reason and one reason only. This might be the first time we will actually have an independent Offensive Coordinator.
Morris might be the only guy (outside of probably Hugh Freeze) that Gus might actually release and let him be OC. He ain't ever going to let anyone else do it. I mean come on guys you think Lashlee or Lindsey or Dilly Dilly were actually developing our offense? bahahahhah So at least we get to see an independent OC that can focus on his job and maybe develop something. You guys act like we had other options. We can go back to Gus as OC (which will probably happen in game 5) it isn't going to matter. We will be 3-5 losses. My point is bitching about Morris...who the fuck cares...our problem is and will always be Gus. I'm just hoping maybe Morris is a helping factor.
But go complain about Morris because he will be the scapegoat if it doesn't work, and we will still have Gus on the sidelines after he takes back the offense for the 75th time and we still lose 3-5 a year.
/endrant
You’re right that Gus is gonna Gus. And that it likely won’t make any difference.
My objections are based in Gus being Gus. We didn’t try to find a great offensive coordinator to maximize the talent we have.
We CLEARLY have trouble with coaching QBs and WRs. Everybody can see that. Did we try to emulate what’s worked so well for LSU and search the NFL for young, upwardly mobile talent that can infuse some life in this shitshow offense? Somebody who can bring new ideas? Somebody who isn’t tied to Gus’ man-titties and might have some fresh concepts? Did we find a running backs coach who can get us back to consistent quality in the ground game?
FUCK NO. Gus hired his butt buddy because he felt bad for him getting fired by mean old Arkansas — fired for putting the most god awful SEC product on the field anyone has seen in decades.
My problem isn’t Morris per se. Its fucktard Gus and his close-minded decisions. He’s so fucking insular in staffing he is never going to improve anything. It infuriates me
-
You’re right that Gus is gonna Gus. And that it likely won’t make any difference.
My objections are based in Gus being Gus. We didn’t try to find a great offensive coordinator to maximize the talent we have.
We CLEARLY have trouble with coaching QBs and WRs. Everybody can see that. Did we try to emulate what’s worked so well for LSU and search the NFL for young, upwardly mobile talent that can infuse some life in this shitshow offense? Somebody who can bring new ideas? Somebody who isn’t tied to Gus’ man-titties and might have some fresh concepts? Did we find a running backs coach who can get us back to consistent quality in the ground game?
FUCK NO. Gus hired his butt buddy because he felt bad for him getting fired by mean old Arkansas — fired for putting the most god awful SEC product on the field anyone has seen in decades.
My problem isn’t Morris per se. Its fucktard Gus and his close-minded decisions. He’s so fucking insular in staffing he is never going to improve anything. It infuriates me
You guys are saying the same thing.
I've long since been resigned to the fact that it is what it is with Gus. I agree with what you're saying 100%, but it's just beating your head against the wall to have any hope that it's going to change. He doesn't want to change. He doesn't want new ideas. And he damn sure isn't going to give up control no matter who he hires.
Gus thinks his offense is the be-all, end-all to college football. He is unbelievably paranoid and worried that someone might steal his ideas and concepts. That sounds like a stretch but it's absolutely the truth. Since I'm so well connected with the personnel and inner workings of the Athletic Department, I just know things. In all seriousness, I was told that pro scouts, who show up to practices and watch film are granted extremely limited access to both for that very reason. There was even an article that came out a few years ago contrasting the treatment and access given by Saban and Malzahn. Lord Saybinz treats them like kings and let's them see anything they want. Gus....almost nada. At two of the Tigers Unlimited practices I went to at the indoor facility, they banned cell phones. The man truly thinks people are trying to steal his secrets.
He's not going to hire anyone to try something different. He's never going to give up the idea that if everyone does their job, holds their blocks, runs his routes, makes his reads, his offense will work against any defense in any situation. Letting someone else implement their offense would be admitting that maybe he was wrong. And that's not in Gus' DNA.
-
We didn’t try to find a great offensive coordinator to maximize the talent we have.
Never gonna happen while he is our coach.
This is the best we are going to get, which is why I am trying to be optimistic. I don't particularly like it, but at least Morris was a good OC at Clemson.
-
He had no input, in that game.
What you guys are actually truly missing is (you think it really matters Eddie?) Meaning Morris ain't gonna be the one to fuck up our shit. Gus is/will continue to do so.
Those of us hopeful about Morris are hopeful for one reason and one reason only. This might be the first time we will actually have an independent Offensive Coordinator.
Morris might be the only guy (outside of probably Hugh Freeze) that Gus might actually release and let him be OC. He ain't ever going to let anyone else do it. I mean come on guys you think Lashlee or Lindsey or Dilly Dilly were actually developing our offense? bahahahhah So at least we get to see an independent OC that can focus on his job and maybe develop something. You guys act like we had other options. We can go back to Gus as OC (which will probably happen in game 5) it isn't going to matter. We will be 3-5 losses. My point is bitching about Morris...who the fuck cares...our problem is and will always be Gus. I'm just hoping maybe Morris is a helping factor.
But go complain about Morris because he will be the scapegoat if it doesn't work, and we will still have Gus on the sidelines after he takes back the offense for the 75th time and we still lose 3-5 a year.
/endrant
My issue is that in the unlikely event that Gus gives him some input, Morris is a FUCKING LIABILITY from a coaching standpoint as shown by his most recent 5 years in the game.
-
My issue is that in the unlikely event that Gus gives him some input, Morris is a FUCKING LIABILITY from a coaching standpoint as shown by his most recent 5 years in the game.
So like that's just your opinion ...maaaan.
So the last 5 years are all that matter. Again you are too closely tied to the hogs board brother. I can rattle off name after name of head coaches that failed that were great coordinators and returned to the game as great coordinators. Gene Chizik, Muschamp, Steele, Sark...the list goes on. No offense to our Hog Brethren (fuck you guys) but this is not the SWAC Arkansas team, they aren't what they think they are and Bielema destroyed that fucking program, granted Morris obviously didn't help, but you are comparing apples to olive oil.
-
BTW I would say the last 2 years, not 5 sufficed to your opinion Morris did succeed at SMU. He was a hot coaching prospect, hence the reason he got hired at Arkansas to begin with.
Let's not pretend Arkansas gave him a job because he was a make a wish kid.
-
Let's not pretend Arkansas gave him a job because he was a make a wish kid.
He wasn't, his wife was...she got him out of the house for two years.
Enjoy.
-
BTW I would say the last 2 years, not 5 sufficed to your opinion Morris did succeed at SMU. He was a hot coaching prospect, hence the reason he got hired at Arkansas to begin with.
Let's not pretend Arkansas gave him a job because he was a make a wish kid.
Could have shared a cab with Mr. Deensfrei from the AMCA.
-
He wasn't, his wife was...she got him out of the house for two years.
Enjoy.
You want Gus? we give him to you...real cheap.
-
You guys are saying the same thing.
I've long since been resigned to the fact that it is what it is with Gus. I agree with what you're saying 100%, but it's just beating your head against the wall to have any hope that it's going to change. He doesn't want to change. He doesn't want new ideas. And he damn sure isn't going to give up control no matter who he hires.
Gus thinks his offense is the be-all, end-all to college football. He is unbelievably paranoid and worried that someone might steal his ideas and concepts. That sounds like a stretch but it's absolutely the truth. Since I'm so well connected with the personnel and inner workings of the Athletic Department, I just know things. In all seriousness, I was told that pro scouts, who show up to practices and watch film are granted extremely limited access to both for that very reason. There was even an article that came out a few years ago contrasting the treatment and access given by Saban and Malzahn. Lord Saybinz treats them like kings and let's them see anything they want. Gus....almost nada. At two of the Tigers Unlimited practices I went to at the indoor facility, they banned cell phones. The man truly thinks people are trying to steal his secrets.
He's not going to hire anyone to try something different. He's never going to give up the idea that if everyone does their job, holds their blocks, runs his routes, makes his reads, his offense will work against any defense in any situation. Letting someone else implement their offense would be admitting that maybe he was wrong. And that's not in Gus' DNA.
Welcome to the Gus Malzahn School of Football Coaching! When you attend the Malzahn Method Winter Sessions you'll learn:
1) How to dive twice and launch a bomb (aka three and out)
2) How to run cool trick plays like the dipsy doodle bug reverse flip
3) How to forget you have players on the roster for long, long, long stretches of games
4) How to be completely befuddled in analyzing talent
5) How to coach your quarterback to run like a scared rabbit at the first sign of trouble
6) How to limit your receiving routes to two per game
7) How to teach your quarterback to behave like a turtle
8) How to have a completely limp dick at critical moments, particularly fourth and short
9) How to remain stubbornly committed to something that isn't working
10) How to have no plan B, C or D.
BONUS! Enroll now and learn the special skill of having only one player prepared for the game so that if that player goes down, the entire system collapses like a house of cards. That session will feature a film study of the 2016 Auburn-Georgia game as well as highlight footage of the 2017 SEC Championship.
And that's not all! The first 20 attendees to register will be treated to a special one-day session with Coach Gus Malzahn where he will teach you how to fill your coaching staff with suckups, sycophants and butt-buddies! That way you'll never have to worry about listening to anyone tell you you're doing it wrong even when you keep getting the same shitty results over and over and over. And over.
This is a one-time offer. Registration is limited to the first 100 attendees and closes February 14.
Get on the Gus Bus. Bumble fuck your way to a sweet BMW. Spaces are limited. Enroll now!
-
BTW I would say the last 2 years, not 5 sufficed to your opinion Morris did succeed at SMU. He was a hot coaching prospect, hence the reason he got hired at Arkansas to begin with.
Let's not pretend Arkansas gave him a job because he was a make a wish kid.
(https://mediad.publicbroadcasting.net/p/kuar/files/styles/x_large/public/201912/Sam_Pittman_0.jpg)
You sure about that?
Further:
I don't usually make predictions, but I'm going to make one here. Malzahn will hire Dustin Fry as OL coach. Fry has worked with his ass pal Morris for the last eight years.
This will solidify 100000% the importance of the butt-buddy relationship in hiring.
Doesn't matter that the Arky OL was worse than Auburn's. He's going to hire Morris' unemployed pal over any other potential options out there.
That's my projection.
-
(https://mediad.publicbroadcasting.net/p/kuar/files/styles/x_large/public/201912/Sam_Pittman_0.jpg)
You sure about that?
Further:
I don't usually make predictions, but I'm going to make one here. Malzahn will hire Dustin Fry as OL coach. Fry has worked with his ass pal Morris for the last eight years.
This will solidify 100000% the importance of the butt-buddy relationship in hiring.
Doesn't matter that the Arky OL was worse than Auburn's. He's going to hire Morris' unemployed pal over any other potential options out there.
That's my projection.
God help us.
-
Malzahn hires new OL Coach
Auburn, AL
December 7, 2020
Auburn head football coach Gus Malzahn moved quickly to fill the gap left on his coaching staff when offensive line coach J.B. Grimes stepped down.
"We're pleased to welcome Hector Ramirez to our staff," Malzahn said. "We appreciate everything J.B. did for us and we wish him well, but we're excited to bring some new ideas and innovation to the staff.
"Auburn has a great tradition of producing some fine offensive linemen and we're going to continue that. I believe we can win championships here and we're gonna."
Ramirez is currently the assistant manager of the Auburn, Alabama Waffle House and one of Malzahn's closest friends in the town.
"We're going to work hard with Hector to get him up to speed, but I gotta tell you it's going to be great having somebody working with me every day who I'm really familiar with. I've had a chance to watch Hector work and I'm really comfortable with his ethic and his ability to juggle multiple tasks.
"We're a running team and victories at Auburn start on the offensive and defensive line. It's the same at Waffle House. I've seen Hector handling a couple of hundred drunk college students and keeping that line moving while his staff scrambled like crazy to get all those orders filled. He was great under pressure. Just unflappable. My waffles were always perfect. That ability to multi-task and that attention to detail is what we're looking for.
"Scattered, covered, smothered, capped, chunked and topped. That's what our offensive line is going to be with Hector leading them."
Malzahn met Hector about eight years ago and said that he often designs plays at his standard Waffle House table using the salt shaker as QB, butter for the receivers, a balled up straw paper as the running back and jelly packets for the offensive line.
Over the years, Hector has joined Malzahn and helped him move the jelly around. Sometimes Hector just needed the jelly for another table, but other times he did help Malzahn generate some ideas. Legend has it that Hector designed the offensive line set for Malzahn's famous whirlybird plays.
"That thing's gonna work," Malzahn said of the dipsydoodle bird play. "We're gonna keep coming back to it until it does. Hector's gonna be a big help with that."
Ramirez signed a four-year deal worth approximately $450,000 per year, a step up from his current $51,000 salary at WH.
"It's not that much," Malzahn said of the salary. "My BMW cost more than that."
That date though.
-
"Sometimes Hector just needed the jelly for another table"
Gold, Jerry
-
That date though.
It's science, not math.
-
(https://mediad.publicbroadcasting.net/p/kuar/files/styles/x_large/public/201912/Sam_Pittman_0.jpg)
You sure about that?
Further:
I don't usually make predictions, but I'm going to make one here. Malzahn will hire Dustin Fry as OL coach. Fry has worked with his ass pal Morris for the last eight years.
This will solidify 100000% the importance of the butt-buddy relationship in hiring.
Doesn't matter that the Arky OL was worse than Auburn's. He's going to hire Morris' unemployed pal over any other potential options out there.
That's my projection.
Just read an article from :oh:. He says to expect that Morris will be very involved in the new OL Corch hire. Warm fuzzies I does not has.
On another note from that same piece, Nom pointed out how foosballz has changed with this little tidbit.
Thirty years ago, in 1989, when Auburn went 10-2 and shared the SEC championship, it did not get to 30 points against an SEC opponent until a 30-20 win over Alabama. Those Tigers lost to Tennessee 21-14, beat Kentucky 24-12, beat LSU 10-6, beat Mississippi State 14-0, beat Florida 10-7 and beat Georgia 20-3. They lost a nonconference game to Florida State 22-14.
Clearly, points often came hard. It took a long punt return to set up the winning touchdown against LSU. Reggie Slack’s fourth-down touchdown pass to Shayne Wasden in the final seconds took down Florida.
When it was all over, Auburn shared the SEC championship with Tennessee and Alabama. Slack was the All-SEC quarterback. This season, SEC champion LSU averages almost 50 points per game.
Yes, times have changed in those three decades. College football today is a very different game, and it’s not ever going back to what it once was.
-
This. This is why I have turned my back on Gus. Why I want things to change. Why I get so frustrated with his smug, "I know everything and we're gonna get better" mumblespeak. This.
The (LSU) job became open, (former AD Joe) Alleva said, because of Miles’ inability to use the talent he had on campus.
“Think of the players Les Miles squandered and didn’t utilize properly," he said. "Talking to Les was like talking to a wall. The key (in) getting to a championship level is utilizing talented players. It’s that simple.â€
This is EXACTLY where we are. Look at the players Gus Malzahn squandered and squanders and doesn't utilize properly. Talking to Gus is like talking to a wall.
Make the change. Be the change.
-
This. This is why I have turned my back on Gus. Why I want things to change. Why I get so frustrated with his smug, "I know everything and we're gonna get better" mumblespeak. This.
The (LSU) job became open, (former AD Joe) Alleva said, because of Miles’ inability to use the talent he had on campus.
“Think of the players Les Miles squandered and didn’t utilize properly," he said. "Talking to Les was like talking to a wall. The key (in) getting to a championship level is utilizing talented players. It’s that simple.â€
This is EXACTLY where we are. Look at the players Gus Malzahn squandered and squanders and doesn't utilize properly. Talking to Gus is like talking to a wall.
Make the change. Be the change.
change.org
-
Not big news but former 4* RB, Jerome Ford, entering the continuum transfunctioner at Denny Chimes U. 5'11" 212. He was down on a crowded depth chart. In the comments to the article I read, I wound up throwing up after the 15th straight, "We didn't need this guy anyway because of how loaded we are at running back".
-
Lost DB Coach and really good recruiter Marcus Woodson to Norvell and FSU. This is probably the biggest loss
Another Auburn assistant is headed to Florida State.
Defensive backs coach Marcus Woodson, who previously worked with FSU head coach Mike Norvell at Memphis prior to joining Gus Malzahn’s staff, has reunited with the Seminoles’ new coach, a source confirmed to AL.com. Woodson’s move was first reported by 247Sports.
Woodson spent each of the last two seasons coaching defensive backs at Auburn after being hired as the Tigers’ 10th assistant coach in January 2018. In 2018 he focused on working with the cornerbacks, but following the departure of Greg Brown, Woodson and Wes McGriff split duties in the secondary, working with both cornerbacks and safeties in tandem.
Woodson also served as Auburn’s recruiting coordinator and was the Tigers’ defensive assistant in the coaching booth this season following defensive coordinator Kevin Steele’s decision to move down to the field on gamedays.
https://www.al.com/auburnfootball/2020/01/auburn-assistant-marcus-woodson-leaving-for-florida-state-per-reports.html
-
He hasn’t been with the team since the sugar bowl...
-
Lost DB Coach and really good recruiter Marcus Woodson to Norvell and FSU. This is probably the biggest loss
https://www.al.com/auburnfootball/2020/01/auburn-assistant-marcus-woodson-leaving-for-florida-state-per-reports.html
Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
-
We need to be looking for a recent AU grad that switched from WR to DB his senior year. We can bring him in and make him co-DC and pay him $250k.
-
Pfft...we roll 5 deep at former coaches.
-
How much are we paying Woodson per year to coach at FSU?
I sure hope it’s an acceptable buyout.
-
At least he did us a solid and waited until the players he recruited were in the fold before bolting.
-
At least he did us a solid and waited until the players he recruited were in the fold before bolting.
Says you, we still have some openings with February approaching.
-
We need to be looking for a recent AU grad that switched from WR to DB his senior year. We can bring him in and make him co-DC and pay him $250k.
I believe Junior Rosegreen is available.
-
I believe Junior Rosegreen is available.
And Noah Igbono...Igboner...Igbenoni...#4
-
And Noah Igbono...Igboner...Igbenoni...#4
Igbu...notgonnaworkhereanymore.
-
But the good news....
https://247sports.com/college/auburn/Article/Kevin-Steele-receives-deal-through-2022-season-with-Auburn-football-142590871/?fbclid=IwAR3UQDqufAzEbIMQ-MQbOw1e-nHSVAicZcNLAG5AIagbQ2GSOHA7MY3EChg (https://247sports.com/college/auburn/Article/Kevin-Steele-receives-deal-through-2022-season-with-Auburn-football-142590871/?fbclid=IwAR3UQDqufAzEbIMQ-MQbOw1e-nHSVAicZcNLAG5AIagbQ2GSOHA7MY3EChg)
-
But the good news....
https://247sports.com/college/auburn/Article/Kevin-Steele-receives-deal-through-2022-season-with-Auburn-football-142590871/?fbclid=IwAR3UQDqufAzEbIMQ-MQbOw1e-nHSVAicZcNLAG5AIagbQ2GSOHA7MY3EChg (https://247sports.com/college/auburn/Article/Kevin-Steele-receives-deal-through-2022-season-with-Auburn-football-142590871/?fbclid=IwAR3UQDqufAzEbIMQ-MQbOw1e-nHSVAicZcNLAG5AIagbQ2GSOHA7MY3EChg)
He's gone.
-
I've been worried about LSU going after him with Aranda's departure.
-
He's gone.
Care to elaborate on how signing a contract extension equates to "He's gone." exactly?
-
Care to elaborate on how signing a contract extension equates to "He's gone." exactly?
I believe he was being cheeky
-
Highest paid DC in college football.
https://twitter.com/clowespn/status/1220367665543503872?s=21 (https://twitter.com/clowespn/status/1220367665543503872?s=21)
-
Imagine if we could combine that with an OC that averages top 20 scoring offenses...
-
Imagine if we could combine that with an OC that averages top 20 scoring offenses...
We paid our OC 7.5 million a year for crap.
-
We paid our OC 7.5 million a year for crap.
The man was setting us up for the future.
And by God, that future is bright.
-
Care to elaborate on how signing a contract extension equates to "He's gone." exactly?
Ask Joe Brady.
-
Ask Joe Brady.
Totally different situation. You are being pigheaded because you've decided Gus=the debil and therefore, everything related to Auburn football sucks.
-
You are being pigheaded
Welcome to the X. We love first-timers.
-
Totally different situation. You are being pigheaded because you've decided Gus=the debil and therefore, everything related to Auburn football sucks.
A) you don’t get me at all
b) merely making the point that signing a contract is not a guarantee anyone will stay. Brady signed one two days before leaving, knowing full well he planned to jump.
C) pfffftttt
-
Welcome to the X. We love first-timers.
There are a lot of old-timer first-timers here, I am one of them. Its a daily process.
-
There are a lot of old-timer first-timers here, I am one of them. Its a daily process.
Something about Jumbo and a dog. At your age it will involve staples instead of stitches.
-
A) you don’t get me at all
b) merely making the point that signing a contract is not a guarantee anyone will stay. Brady signed one two days before leaving, knowing full well he planned to jump.
C) pfffftttt
I'll see your pfffftttt and raise you a pshaw.
-
A) you don’t get me at all
I am not 100% certain what the plural form for The Six is but in his defense, no one else necessarily does.
No offense, but just because you were the leader in Likes before GF fucked the button up, does not mean that people “got†you.
Many of these may have been sympathy Likes. Again, no offense. Just calling balls and strikes on a Friday.
I believe I would have received many more Likes from Wes had the button not been installed so high. And if you add up all of my accounts are t would be a lot closer. Granted, a lot of these Likes were from one of my other accounts but they still count in the total.
but if Steele leaves, you should demand a blow job. From The Six, I mean.
-
Proof is in the pudding and the posting. It’s all neg all the time here.
-
Proof is in the pudding and the posting. It’s all neg all the time here.
Not true. Many of us see the CM hire as a legitimate positive.
-
Proof is in the pudding and the posting. It’s all neg all the time here.
Fuck kaos.
-
Proof is in the pudding and the posting. It’s all neg all the time here.
This group? No way. It's all unicorns and rainbows around here. We are all positive
that Gus will fuck everything up somehow.
-
Not true. Many of us see the CM hire as a legitimate positive.
Bringing that back around, what is curious most to me is that Gus was a run first. Morris is pass first.
-
Bringing that back around, what is curious most to me is that Gus was a run first. Morris is pass first.
Good, well then here's more negativity. I said this earlier and by gawd, I'll say it again. Mainly because I like hearing myself talk.
It DOES NOT MATTER who is calling the plays. They will still be running Gus' offense. An offense that this league, and everybody else, has long since figured out. It's the same shitty passing routes. The same 2 running plays out of the same formations.
But we have the Sugar Huddle. So, there's that.
-
Good, well then here's more negativity. I said this earlier and by gawd, I'll say it again. Mainly because I like hearing myself talk.
It DOES NOT MATTER who is calling the plays. They will still be running Gus' offense. An offense that this league, and everybody else, has long since figured out. It's the same shitty passing routes. The same 2 running plays out of the same formations.
But we have the Sugar Huddle. So, there's that.
Sir, if you neglect to mention the offensive wizardry that is the "Woody" play, then I challenge you to pistols at dawn.
-
Sir, if you neglect to mention the offensive wizardry that is the "Woody" play, then I challenge you to pistols at dawn.
The "Woody" play???
Do tell...
-
The "Woody" play???
Do tell...
Get your smallest player (think Onterrio) and hide him behind the line/huddle. Then let him burst out and run for daylight.
Jeeeeeeeenyus.
-
Get your smallest player (think Onterrio) and hide him behind the line/huddle. Then let him burst out and run for daylight.
Jeeeeeeeenyus.
Onterrio? By "run for daylight", you mean the nearest sideline?
I did forget the Woody. Now that I think about it, that play has almost worked countless times.
-
Get your smallest player (think Onterrio) and hide him behind the line/huddle. Then let him burst out and run for daylight.
Jeeeeeeeenyus.
Why would u think that you’d have to explain what the woody play is to anyone on here. Every fucking idiot around knows....oh. I see. Never mind.
-
Onterrio? By "run for daylight", you mean the nearest sideline?
I did forget the Woody. Now that I think about it, that play has almost worked countless times.
Is that the play where I take the ball and run downfield acting like I’m lost?
-
And everybody has already forgotten the Twirlybird? Good God, peoples. That one almost averaged 1.6 ypc against Clemson.
-
Proof is in the pudding and the posting. It’s all neg all the time here.
I think this pot should take a look at the kettle or some shit like that. So says Debbie Downer, perhaps.
I done seen Eeyore tagged on your posteses before.
Six went all John Kerry. We were (I was) resigned to the Gustav way in the pre-season and hopeful him "taking over playcalling" would change things. Meanwhile Six was roasting him, Nix and AU in general.
We get fed up after the same dumbtarded Malzahn shit and Six leaps on the empty Gus bus. He starts driving it around waving one of Gus' bras over his head.
I don't know what to make of that. I also don't like pudding.
-
Fuck kaos.
When? And where?
-
I don't know what to make of that. I also don't like pudding.
(http://www.humoar.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/bill-cosby-pudding.jpg) (http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwj0xsrKoJ3nAhXqs1kKHYoBBd0QjRx6BAgBEAQ&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.humoar.com%2Fbill-cosby-i-love-pudding%2F&psig=AOvVaw2135kB90IR0UHJLYemNZQX&ust=1579990267365132)
-
Is that the play where I take the ball and run downfield acting like I’m lost?
It's your basic Statue of Liberty play with one twist: you throw the ball to me. Knute Rockney called it "the forward pass."
-
When? And where?
Definitely this weekend, if possible. Will be out of town most of next week.
-
I think this pot should take a look at the kettle or some shoot like that. So says Debbie Downer, perhaps.
I done seen Eeyore tagged on your posteses before.
Six went all John Kerry. We were (I was) resigned to the Gustav way in the pre-season and hopeful him "taking over playcalling" would change things. Meanwhile Six was roasting him, Nix and AU in general.
We get fed up after the same dumbtarded Malzahn shoot and Six leaps on the empty Gus bus. He starts driving it around waving one of Gus' bras over his head.
I don't know what to make of that. I also don't like pudding.
I chose to evolve. Also, I don't consider making commentary (critical or otherwise) during live games about the play of a player here and there nearly the same as the "Gus is dumb" narrative.
I want Auburn to win. I do not want to complain. On the field of onion at dawn, I suppose.
-
I chose to evolve. Also, I don't consider making commentary (critical or otherwise) during live games about the play of a player here and there nearly the same as the "Gus is dumb" narrative.
I want Auburn to win. I do not want to complain. On the field of onion at dawn, I suppose.
Dawn's too early. Could we make it brunchish?
-
Dawn's too early. Could we make it brunchish?
Let’s go late afternoon. Gives Alejandro time to prepare the Chilean Sea Bass.