Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports
The Library => Broun Hall => Topic started by: Kaos on May 04, 2015, 01:50:16 AM
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Went to New Orleans for Jazzfest this weekend. Never again. Never.
Did I enjoy it? Yeah. I did. A lot. But it was too much chaos. Even for me.
Mainly wanted to see Elton John. On my bucket list to hear him sing Bennie and the Jets live. Check mark!
Got there when the gates opened (the few small funnel gates) as did about 110,000,000,000,000,000 people, far too many already drunk.
Battled to the Acura stage with a couple of chairs and even though we got there earlyish, the closest we could get was about 498,000 yards from the stage. Thankfully there were some large screens showing what was on stage. Unfortunately there was one enormous one right in the middle, and if you had the misfortune of being behind that? Well fuck seeing the stage.
Within minutes, all these fucking flags started going up. State flags, homemade flags, whatever the fuck. People were planting them everywhere. And those shitty stupid things blocked view of most of the video screens.
I'm not much of a people person anyway. Don't care for crowds. Despite the vastness of this one it was mostly well-behaved during the opening bands including a Fats Domino tribute band and Jerry Lee Lewis (looking 732 years old and filled with fluid, but damn he could still hammer the keys). There was lots of alcohol and a constant scent of weed wafting on the breeze. Sun was hot, but not unbearable and despite the flags and the distance, I was pretty okay with it.
Then when it was about time for Elton to hit the stage, my incompatibility with my fellow human beings started to hit a new level of disdain.
Did I mention we'd been there since before 11? That didn't seem to matter to a shitload of asshole fucks who tried to elbow past and wedge their dirty asses in front of us. That's a major faux pas in my book and I will be a contentious, shoving, 'get the fuck out', blocking the path, asshole. You don't get to show up at the last minute and overwhelm the space I've spent all day cultivating. Fuck that. So there were some moments of great tension that had the capability of escalating, but thankfully none did. It was sort of liberating, actually because once I started telling the latecoming fucks they could move their ass somewhere else I was suddenly in command of an army. Guys who'd logged the same time as we had all rose up and we created an impenetrable wall. Once it became obvious that we weren't giving ground, we watched the late coming stragglers probe for weaknesses further and further down. Then the guy at the end opened a cooler and passed beers down the line to all of us who'd banded together for a common cause. Too bad it wasn't weed. I'd have preferred that.
So we salvaged our not-so-prime position by the time Elton broke into Bennie (his second song). And then my annoyance grew even further. Not 15 feet in front of us a group of Ole Miss and Mississippi State fans (could tell because of their flags and shirts) decided the concert was boring, I guess, and flipped their chairs around to face each other and start having a fucking conversation. Since Elton was playing that damn musical annoyance made them decide to raise their voices even more so they could hear each other. It got to the point that you could barely hear the music over the collection of assholes who were steadily shouting conversation at each other. Why the blazing blue fuck would you buy a ticket, wade into that mass of humanity, hang out there all day and then NOT pay one second of attention to the main attraction? All those people should die in a fiery hole. I didn't have to do much about that because after about three or four songs a huge bearded biker dude bowled in there and told the lead Rebel black bear that if they didn't shut the fuck up so he could hear the stage he was going to start shoving them up each others asses (or something). They quieted down enough for us to barely hear, but those douches weren't the only ones having constant conversations and ignoring the show on the stage.
Too many people in too small a space. I just kept thinking that if any of those short-fuse situations had exploded (and in retrospect, it wasn't the brightest idea I ever had to elbow people and tell them the step the fuck off) .... it could have gone bad quickly. The whole time I was there I never saw any security whatsoever. If a brawl HAD started? It would have gone on for a while and probably spread into something out of a Wild West saloon before anybody could possibly have gotten there. Hell, I saw the ambulance cart trying to get an old man having a heart attack out of there and nobody would even move for it. People were like, fuck you, wait.
Had some friends there and they left before the Elton John concert started after some people started shoving and cursing them and trying to take over the spot they'd been in all day.
I mean look at this shit.
(http://imgick.nola.com/home/nola-media/width960/img/tpphotos/photo/2015/05/02/-3355bc96663e3be5.jpg) That's crazy. And half those people didn't give one fuck about Elton John, they were just there to drink, fuck and get high. Couldn't they have done it somewhere else so those of us who DID care could at least see/hear what was going on?
Yeah, it was fun, but I'm not fighting that kind of insanity again. It was just too much.
Well, it depends on who they bring back. And next time I do it as a VIP sponsor so I can avoid being trapped in that nonsense.
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Elton John's a fag.
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New Orleans as a town sucks blue whale's grandfather.
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New Orleans as a town sucks blue whale's grandfather.
Couldn't be more incorrect if you tried.
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Couldn't be more incorrect if you tried.
but Elton John is a fag.
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Couldn't be more incorrect if you tried.
yep
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Not trying to state your truths of facts for you. 'Twas an opinion. I'm still entitled to those as long as it doesn't offense gays, questionings, minorities, most Democrats, half of Sesame Street's characters, and the Common Guard.
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Not trying to state your truths of facts for you. 'Twas an opinion. I'm still entitled to those as long as it doesn't offense gays, questionings, minorities, most Democrats, half of Sesame Street's characters, and the Common Guard.
this is the X regime. get with the fucking program or make like a tree and leave. then comeback in 2 months under a different moniker.
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this is the X regime. get with the fudgeing program or make like a tree and leave.
(http://i3.cpcache.com/product/96652281/new_orleans_sucks_classic_thong.jpg?height=225&width=225)
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Not trying to state your truths of facts for you. 'Twas an opinion. I'm still entitled to those as long as it doesn't offense gays, questionings, minorities, most Democrats, half of Sesame Street's characters, and the Common Guard.
Unless your opinion is wrong.
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New Orleans as a town sucks blue whale's grandfather.
I like the food and music. I hate the town. Had some horrible experiences there. And the cops are as bad as the robbers in many instances.
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(http://i3.cpcache.com/product/96652281/new_orleans_sucks_classic_thong.jpg?height=225&width=225)
Listen dude, no one wants to see your underwear.
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Listen dude, no one wants to see your underwear.
As if I am wearing any
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That's Jazz Fest. I have been multiple times. Your mistake was going on the second weekend to the main act. It is always like that... Go on Fridays and Saturdays and check out the low key acts, especially the Jazz tent. That is amazing.
Also, New Orleans is amazing.
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Also, New Orleans is amazing.
Exactly. Awesome enough, in fact, that the fake AUChizad moved there and doesn't even have time for the X anymore... !
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It's also home to a football team that doesn't cheat.
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It's also home to a football team that doesn't cheat.
No one accused Les of cheating.
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Have I said fudge you to you lately?
Unfortunately not. I've missed you but you've been too busy ogling the Green Beret/Seahawk in the other thread to notice.
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That's Jazz Fest. I have been multiple times. Your mistake was going on the second weekend to the main act. It is always like that... Go on Fridays and Saturdays and check out the low key acts, especially the Jazz tent. That is amazing.
Also, New Orleans is amazing.
Never been a big New Orleans fan. But having been there more in the last three months than I have in the last 30 years, it's starting to grow on me a little. Oddest collection of people I've ever encountered. I don't like people as a general rule, but I do enjoy watching their interactions.
Hotels are ridiculously overpriced which is a major problem.
Also, I must say that New Orleans is the only big city in which I've ever really felt unsafe. I know most big cities have a dark side. But I've walked/driven around in NYC, San Antonio, Houston, Dallas, Denver, Phoenix, San Fran, San Diego, LA, Providence, St Louis, Philly, DC, Baltimore and others. With the exception of a bone-headed decision to drive through Compton and Crenshaw made by my then-business partner because he listened to Snoop Dogg and figured he was one with the hood, I've never felt threatened or nervous in any of those places. New Orleans is different. Stray just a bit from the established tracks and there's a sense of menace that oozes from the cracks of the city. It's not a place you want to be and definitely not when you're with five girls.
Maybe that's just me and my own paranoia, but the big easy makes me uneasy.
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Never been a big New Orleans fan. But having been there more in the last three months than I have in the last 30 years, it's starting to grow on me a little. Oddest collection of people I've ever encountered. I don't like people as a general rule, but I do enjoy watching their interactions.
Hotels are ridiculously overpriced which is a major problem.
Also, I must say that New Orleans is the only big city in which I've ever really felt unsafe. I know most big cities have a dark side. But I've walked/driven around in NYC, San Antonio, Houston, Dallas, Denver, Phoenix, San Fran, San Diego, LA, Providence, St Louis, Philly, DC, Baltimore and others. With the exception of a bone-headed decision to drive through Compton and Crenshaw made by my then-business partner because he listened to Snoop Dogg and figured he was one with the hood, I've never felt threatened or nervous in any of those places. New Orleans is different. Stray just a bit from the established tracks and there's a sense of menace that oozes from the cracks of the city. It's not a place you want to be and definitely not when you're with five girls.
Maybe that's just me and my own paranoia, but the big easy makes me uneasy.
You should probably just wear your KISS makeup. It will do two things. Make you feel stronger with your cat powers. Also look crazy as hell that no one would want to mess with you.
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You should probably just wear your KISS makeup. It will do two things. Make you feel stronger with your cat powers. Also look crazy as hell that no one would want to mess with you.
I can't agree with this at all. Do you know how many people want to beat the shit out of Peter Criss for singing "Beth."
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Stray just a bit from the established tracks and there's a sense of menace that oozes from the cracks of the city.
Stay out late enough and the menace oozes to the established tracks as well.
In '09, I was in town after traveling to watch LSU beat the snot out of us. Later that night, at the Hustler, there was this particular entertainer working who, being the connoisseur of fine gentleman's clubs that I was back then, I knew was clearly in love with me. By the way she let me buy her expensive drinks all night, there's no question that if my debit card hadn't reached its maximum allowed daily transactions, we'd have jumped the broom that night.
Anyway, with all my friends having long gone to the hotel, I had to stammer down Bourbon and Canal at 5:30am alone and clearly out of place. The lingering alcohol went a long way in reducing my GAF but after declining my first-ever offer from a pimp, politely advising a half dozen or more street walkers that I wasn't interested, and seeing the cold stares of too many transients in poorly lit corners than I preferred, I ran Forrest Gump style back to the hotel.
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You should probably just wear your KISS makeup. It will do two things. Make you feel stronger with your cat powers. Also look crazy as hell that no one would want to mess with you.
Given the morass of weirdness that permeates the regular crowd, I'd wager that KISS facepaint wouldn't get a second look.
To get noticed I'd have to drop my shorts and have the makeup covering my crotch. Face paint just wouldn't be enough.
Maybe a star over one nipple too.
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Stay out late enough and the menace oozes to the established tracks as well.
In '09, I was in town after traveling to watch LSU beat the snot out of us. Later that night, at the Hustler, there was this particular entertainer working who, being the connoisseur of fine gentleman's clubs that I was back then, I knew was clearly in love with me. By the way she let me buy her expensive drinks all night, there's no question that if my debit card hadn't reached its maximum allowed daily transactions, we'd have jumped the broom that night.
Anyway, with all my friends having long gone to the hotel, I had to stammer down Bourbon and Canal at 5:30am alone and clearly out of place. The lingering alcohol went a long way in reducing my GAF but after declining my first-ever offer from a pimp, politely advising a half dozen or more street walkers that I wasn't interested, and seeing the cold stares of too many transients in poorly lit corners than I preferred, I ran Forrest Gump style back to the hotel.
^^THIS. The crowd WT used to run with didn't exactly live by the Marines motto. If we'd had a motto, it would be more like "Each mofo for himself" than no man left behind.
Anyway, watched Prime Time break my heart in the Sugar with that phantom interception in 80 something? I don't recall the year but my story is similar to the Cats.
357 magnums. I remember those drinks and Long Island iced teas. WT partied like it was 1999. And mofo's left WT behind.
Trouble was we were staying at the Dew Drop Inn or something like that out by the airport. I looked after a sick buddy who had been over served and I didn't feel too sporty myself. Wee hours of the morning.
I think most of you have probably heard about me being a bad motherfucker. It's even imprinted on my wallet. Which was empty.
Had to panhandle for a cab to make it to the airport and still owed some. It took forever. And, the real panhandlers don't like it when amateurs try to infringe.
There were mofos there who even scared me. Abd like I said, I'm a bad man.
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Trouble was we were staying at the Dew Drop Inn or something like that out by the airport. I looked after a sick buddy who had been over served and I didn't feel too sporty myself. Wee hours of the morning.
Did you get to see Cassandra?
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That's weird...the gay district always seems safe...
except for your anus.
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I got lost in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. Made friends with an amateur rapper. Serenaded everyone I met. Broke up a fight between an old white man and a young black man. Balled out in general.
Some of you pussies have smaller balls than a gay hobbit. Think about that the next time you look in a mirror.