Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports
Pat Dye Field => War Damn Eagle => Topic started by: Kaos on February 09, 2022, 11:33:10 AM
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I don't know what's going to happen. Maybe we patch things up with Harsin. Maybe he decides to take that horror show wife and sister in law to Hollywood to star in a remake of House of Wax. The good ol boy dumbasses who control such things have a propensity for shitting the bed in spectacularly runny, odorous ways so anything could happen.
My worst nightmare, however, is for these fuckers to somehow land on bringing Fucky McBeaver in if Harsin leaves (voluntarily or not). I've heard several (some on here) suggest this as a viable option and I have also heard that some of our meddling fucktard trustees have "reached out tuh him tuh see if he have any interest..." Please, God, no.
Hugh Freeze is a charlatan. He's the Jim Bakker of coaching. A skeevy, greasy, phony. He's Peter Popoff, selling water straight out of the tap and calling it 'Miracle Spring Water.' He's a huckster. He's Jimmy Swaggart, bawling crocodile tears over hiyussss SEEEEAAANNNNING WAYUHS. I loathe that beaver-faced fuck.
I endured Chizik. I was opposed to his hire, but I gave him a chance. I was willing to see what Harper could do. If this comes to pass? I don't think I can abide it.
Here's a quick list of people I'd rather see as head coach if that becomes necessary:
Deion. Gruden. Curley Hallman. Terry Bowden. Paul Stanley. Charlie Weiss. Elton John. Ed Orgeron. Les Miles. Ru Paul. Mick Jagger. Mick Foley. Cam Newton. Carl from Walking Dead. Scooby Doo. Scrappy Doo. Nicolas Cage. Nikki Sixx. Ron Howard. Geraldo Rivera. Tom Arnold. Olivia Newton John. Joe Rogan. Peter Criss. Bob Barker. Bill Murray. Butterbean. Angie Harmon. Oh Il-Nam from Squid Game. Henry Winkler. Papa John. Mark Wahlberg. Any of you. Don Johnson (or Phillip Michael Thomas). Bruce Pearl. Steven Pearl. Jack Sparrow, captain of the Black Pearl. Or his monkey Jack. My dad. Your dad. Lou Holtz. A turtle. A real beaver. Or Carl Weathers.
Literally the only person I can think of worse than Bucky McFutternuts might be Potato Biden. Or his crack-head son. Or the gobbling VP. Or basically anybody in that circle: Shitlary, the Pelosi Ghoul, Schumer, Swallowswell, Schiff, etc.
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Damn it, for the last time, Paul Stanley is not going to coach Auburn. It's time to give up that dream.
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Damn it, for the last time, Paul Stanley is not going to coach Auburn. It's time to give up that dream.
But he could pull double duty. Call plays and be the mic man.
"C'mon peepulllll, clap yo haayyyyyyunds. Lemme heaah ya! Ahhhhhh wanna woaahhh eagullll all niiiiiight...."
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I think Bob Barker is dead.
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I think Bob Barker is dead.
Well cross him off then.
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I think Bob Barker is dead.
Still a better choice than Fucky the Beaver.
And he's actually alive. He's chasing Betty White to 100. She had a head start, but tripped at the finish line. He's 22 months away.
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You had me until you said Scrappy Doo.
Now, if you had said Happy Scrappy Hero Pup, that’s a different story.
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Kaos’ list of coaches that he’d rather see than Bucky McFutternutts is noteworthy. I’d love to see a newscaster read this list. And it has very qualified candidates:
“Here's a quick list of people I'd rather see as head coach if that becomes necessary:
Deion. Gruden. Curley Hallman. Terry Bowden. Paul Stanley. Charlie Weiss. Elton John. Ed Orgeron. Les Miles. Ru Paul. Mick Jagger. Mick Foley. Cam Newton. Carl from Walking Dead. Scooby Doo. Scrappy Doo. Nicolas Cage. Nikki Sixx. Ron Howard. Geraldo Rivera. Tom Arnold. Olivia Newton John. Joe Rogan. Peter Criss. Bob Barker. Bill Murray. Butterbean. Angie Harmon. Oh Il-Nam from Squid Game. Henry Winkler. Papa John. Mark Wahlberg. Any of you. Don Johnson (or Phillip Michael Thomas). Bruce Pearl. Steven Pearl. Jack Sparrow, captain of the Black Pearl. Or his monkey Jack. My dad. Your dad. Lou Holtz. A turtle. A real beaver. Or Carl Weathers. “