Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports
The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: BZ770 on May 26, 2010, 11:30:49 PM
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Kelly Clarkson looked like a fat troll.
Paula was pretty funny coming back I was waiting for the big FU to Ellen Degeneras.
Dane Cook still sucks.
The guy beat the Hippie Chick.
Chicago was by far the best act there.
Bee Gees should have kicked idol contestants off stage while they singing.
Janet Jackson has a Thick Ass and some huge tatas.
Christina Agulera had some Cottage Cheese showing under her tights.
Allanis Morrisette, looked pretty good.
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Kelly Clarkson looked like a fat troll.
Paula was pretty funny coming back I was waiting for the big FU to Ellen Degeneras.
Dane Cook still sucks.
The guy beat the Hippie Chick.
Chicago was by far the best act there.
Bee Gees should have kicked idol contestants off stage while they singing.
Janet Jackson has a Thick Ass and some huge tatas.
Christina Agulera had some Cottage Cheese showing under her tights.
Allanis Morrisette, looked pretty good.
So uhm... You actually watch that show? Or, was that just something on the TV, while you did your nails?
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Not that many of you would admit to it - but they do tend to drag out some total corpses for this finale show, so it can be fun to watch for the "Oh SHIT!" factor.
Tonight was no exception. So here we go...
Intemperate thoughts... by T. Wench.
Joe Cocker. Yes, THE Joe Cocker. The man is only 66 and I know he has always flailed around on stage like Ray Charles with a wedgie, but DAYUM. Fucker is OLD - a lot older than 66 in appearance and actions. He is missing teeth even. He had no fucking clue where he was, missed some words to Get by With A Little Help From My Friends, but was able to just riff along while Lee and Crystal helped him out. He still had the classic Joe Cocker wail when he wanted to, but most of the time he was looking at the two Idol kids like "Who the fuck are you and where is my tapioca?"
The Bee Gees. Seriously. The Bee Gees except for the dead one. I used to think Barry Gibb was the hottest thing on two legs. That gorgeous mane of hair. Those tight spandex pants. Now the hair is long and grey and the gut is massive and the pants were still too tight, but in that creepy not good Cousin Eddie in a leisure suit kind of way. His voice is pretty much shot - too old for the falsetto. And the other one - not the dead one - Maurice? Robin? I forget. Anyway, I don't even think his mike was on. Did he ever sing at all? Not sure and couldn't tell, but they totally mangled Too Much Heaven.
Speaking of not knowing when to give up on your iconic voice... The Favorite Doobie Brother of Tigers X sang Taking It To The Streets... and got his ass kicked by Michael from Idol who sang it with him. McDonald cannot hit a single note - his voice just dies and fades away. I saw him two years ago at a private concert for our golf tournament - small room - and he just sucks. People got up and left. Myself included.
Janet Fucking Jackson. Miss Jackson if you're nasty. And she still is - in a good kind of way. Girl has got an ass that I would give ten years of my life to have had ten years ago. She did one song that I had to convince myself was not her lipsynching to Michael. In fact, I even speculated that Janet is really the dead one, and Michael has taken her place. Anyway, it was kind of weird to hear her sing that - but then she rips off the gown she was wearing and has on a skin tight body suit underneath - and I mean skin tight - and it was NOT a bad thing. Nasty - one of my all time fav songs and one my cheer squad used to dance our way to a championship back in the day - that song kicks ass. She still has the dance moves and it rocked.
Brett Michaels. Speaking of dead guys - he looked great. He obviously lost a lot of weight in ICU because he looks (in the face at least) just like he did back in the day. He and Casey James did Every Rose Has Its Thorn and they did a great job. Brett acted like he has seen the other side and got a second chance at life - I hope he gets away from the skanks and does something for realz.
Chicago. Sucked. S-U-C-K-E-D. The guys on horns were kick ass, but that stupid loser that replaced Peter Cetera was AWFUL. SO BAD. Made me want to just throw up.
Hall and Oates. Lame. LAME. It was like a bad SNL skit. I kept expecting the close up to show Will Farrell and Horatio Sanz. Oates even had on that lame flannel shirt. Hall looks like Brett Michaels and Axel Rose had a fat love child.
Christina Aguillera - looked exactly like Lady Gaga. The song was horrific. Fast forwarded through it after 15 seconds.
Alanis Morrisette - still looks the same as back in the late 80s and mostly sounds the same. She can't hit those high vibratto notes anymore tho.
Carrie Underwood - TOTALLY HOT. New song is awesome. She is gorgeous. Unreal beautiful and talented. Best Idol ever.
Speaking of former Idols - holy shit did Kelly Clarkson get fat or WHAT!!! Ruben Studdard lost a lot of weight - he looks good. Taylor Hicks is still awesome and hot. Fantasia still has fat lips. Jordan Sparks got fatter. And the guy that won last year - Kris Allen, maybe? - is still irrelevant and forgettable.
And since Simon is leaving, of course they brought Paula back. She was as stoned as ever. Some things never change.
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I had forgotten about Brett, that was a cool duet on Every Rose. Glad to see him back. As far as me watching Idol, I'm man enough to admit that my wife controls the DVR and my 47" LCD. She has that thing crammed with every gag reflex girl show on every channel set to record such as Secret life of an american teenager, 90210, Ugly Betty, Gossip Girl, etc. So to spend quality time with my other I'll watch American Idol from time to time.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnf6NcmepuY# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnf6NcmepuY#)
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So to spend quality time with my other I watch American Idol all the time. from time to time.
then afterwards i get on teh intrawebs to start a thread and post a you tube video.
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No thoughts.
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If you have ever called in a vote for this show you should not be eligible to vote in a real election until you have done some sort of penance.
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The last preliminary fight to get into the semi-finals on the Ultimate Fighter was bad azz. Unfortunately, it ended with an illegal kick to the head while the opponent was down. Round 2 was going to be wild.
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Ghey
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Ghey
Johnny Weir thinks American Idol is uber ghey.
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Kelly Clarkson looked like a fat troll.
Paula was pretty funny coming back I was waiting for the big FU to Ellen Degeneras.
Dane Cook still sucks.
The guy beat the Hippie Chick.
Chicago was by far the best act there.
Bee Gees should have kicked idol contestants off stage while they singing.
Janet Jackson has a Thick Ass and some huge tatas.
Christina Agulera had some Cottage Cheese showing under her tights.
Allanis Morrisette, looked pretty good.
I'm thinking the whole point of this thread was to announce your obsession with or phobia of fat and cellulite, because we all know nobody gives a shit about American Idiol.
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I had forgotten about Brett, that was a cool duet on Every Rose. Glad to see him back. As far as me watching Idol, I'm man enough to admit that my wife controls the DVR and my 47" LCD. She has that thing crammed with every gag reflex girl show on every channel set to record such as Secret life of an american teenager, 90210, Ugly Betty, Gossip Girl, etc. So to spend quality time with my other I'll watch American Idol from time to time.
Prayers sent...
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Wife turned this on.
Cooler and I went out to the deck.
Show went off. 4 empty blue moons and a two beer glasses and I came back inside.
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Not that many of you would admit to it - but they do tend to drag out some total corpses for this finale show, so it can be fun to watch for the "Oh SHIT!" factor.
Tonight was no exception. So here we go...
Intemperate thoughts... by T. Wench.
Joe Cocker. Yes, THE Joe Cocker. The man is only 66 and I know he has always flailed around on stage like Ray Charles with a wedgie, but DAYUM. Fucker is OLD - a lot older than 66 in appearance and actions. He is missing teeth even. He had no fucking clue where he was, missed some words to Get by With A Little Help From My Friends, but was able to just riff along while Lee and Crystal helped him out. He still had the classic Joe Cocker wail when he wanted to, but most of the time he was looking at the two Idol kids like "Who the fuck are you and where is my tapioca?"
The Bee Gees. Seriously. The Bee Gees except for the dead one. I used to think Barry Gibb was the hottest thing on two legs. That gorgeous mane of hair. Those tight spandex pants. Now the hair is long and grey and the gut is massive and the pants were still too tight, but in that creepy not good Cousin Eddie in a leisure suit kind of way. His voice is pretty much shot - too old for the falsetto. And the other one - not the dead one - Maurice? Robin? I forget. Anyway, I don't even think his mike was on. Did he ever sing at all? Not sure and couldn't tell, but they totally mangled Too Much Heaven.
Speaking of not knowing when to give up on your iconic voice... The Favorite Doobie Brother of Tigers X sang Taking It To The Streets... and got his ass kicked by Michael from Idol who sang it with him. McDonald cannot hit a single note - his voice just dies and fades away. I saw him two years ago at a private concert for our golf tournament - small room - and he just sucks. People got up and left. Myself included.
Janet Fucking Jackson. Miss Jackson if you're nasty. And she still is - in a good kind of way. Girl has got an ass that I would give ten years of my life to have had ten years ago. She did one song that I had to convince myself was not her lipsynching to Michael. In fact, I even speculated that Janet is really the dead one, and Michael has taken her place. Anyway, it was kind of weird to hear her sing that - but then she rips off the gown she was wearing and has on a skin tight body suit underneath - and I mean skin tight - and it was NOT a bad thing. Nasty - one of my all time fav songs and one my cheer squad used to dance our way to a championship back in the day - that song kicks ass. She still has the dance moves and it rocked.
Brett Michaels. Speaking of dead guys - he looked great. He obviously lost a lot of weight in ICU because he looks (in the face at least) just like he did back in the day. He and Casey James did Every Rose Has Its Thorn and they did a great job. Brett acted like he has seen the other side and got a second chance at life - I hope he gets away from the skanks and does something for realz.
Chicago. Sucked. S-U-C-K-E-D. The guys on horns were kick ass, but that stupid loser that replaced Peter Cetera was AWFUL. SO BAD. Made me want to just throw up.
Hall and Oates. Lame. LAME. It was like a bad SNL skit. I kept expecting the close up to show Will Farrell and Horatio Sanz. Oates even had on that lame flannel shirt. Hall looks like Brett Michaels and Axel Rose had a fat love child.
Christina Aguillera - looked exactly like Lady Gaga. The song was horrific. Fast forwarded through it after 15 seconds.
Alanis Morrisette - still looks the same as back in the late 80s and mostly sounds the same. She can't hit those high vibratto notes anymore tho.
Carrie Underwood - TOTALLY HOT. New song is awesome. She is gorgeous. Unreal beautiful and talented. Best Idol ever.
Speaking of former Idols - holy shit did Kelly Clarkson get fat or WHAT!!! Ruben Studdard lost a lot of weight - he looks good. Taylor Hicks is still awesome and hot. Fantasia still has fat lips. Jordan Sparks got fatter. And the guy that won last year - Kris Allen, maybe? - is still irrelevant and forgettable.
And since Simon is leaving, of course they brought Paula back. She was as stoned as ever. Some things never change.
OK. The title of this thread prohibited any gay hijacks. It started off gay. But this recap pulled the thread back up out of the gutter for a few seconds. I only watch idol the first few weeks to see all of the squealers and make fun of the weirdos. The actual "competition" is really not that interesting any longer.And I refuse to watch most anything Ellen Degenerate is on.
I agree that Carrie Underwood has really found her way, but I just can't appreciate her as much since she said she could never date a guy who hunts.
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I agree that Carrie Underwood has really found her way, but I just can't appreciate her as much since she said she could never date a guy who hunts.
I would be the no huntingest mother fucker on the planet...
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I would be the no huntingest mother phuker on the planet...
Deer? What deer?
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Bunch of hen pecked bitches. Weskie got my back on this.
I am not changing anything I love to do for any woman just cause she does not like it.
In da mouf thrice.
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I would be the no huntingest mother fucker on the planet...
This all day and twice on Tuesday.
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Bunch of hen pecked bitches. Weskie got my back on this.
I am not changing anything I love to do for any woman just cause she does not like it.
In da mouf thrice.
Word.
First you give up hunting...
Then your friends have to go, because you spend too much time with them...
Then you need to attend Sally Sue's baby shower on Saturday, because it is much more important than some silly football game.
Finally, the balls are handed over.
Fuck that shit. Proper.
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I would be the no huntingest mother fucker in the galaxy...
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Word.
First you give up hunting...
Then your friends have to go, because you spend too much time with them...
Then you need to attend Sally Sue's baby shower on Saturday, because it is much more important than some silly football game.
Finally, the balls are handed over.
Fuck that shit. Proper.
I don't give a rat's ass how hot the chick is. Somebody somewhere is tired of putting up with her shit.
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I'd pretend to be a non-huntin' mutha fucka if it netted me a shot of ass from CU!
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I don't give a rat's ass how hot the chick is. Somebody somewhere is tired of putting up with her shit.
But you would get paid like a mother fucker for leaving...fuck a pre-nup...
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Bunch of hen pecked bitches. Weskie got my back on this.
I am not changing anything I love to do for any woman just cause she does not like it.
In da mouf thrice.
Howard I believe, Weskie is full of shit.
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Howard I believe, Weskie is full of shit.
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You misunderstand...
I am not talking about now, I am talking future, he can hold his own now....but mark my words. He finds the right girl he will fold like a cheap suit!!!
Howard will never let me touch his face....just sayin.
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Howard I believe, Weskie is full of shit.
I already sent one packing for trying to make me compromise on some pretty major shit.
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For the record, she ain't "my girl" in the sense that I see her exclusively. If you have stronger game than me, feel free to try to hit it.
You misunderstand...
I am not talking about now, I am talking future, he can hold his own now....but mark my words. He finds the right girl he will fold like a cheap suit!!!
Oh hell, no. If I was going to fold it would have been this past September. I was close. Then I came to my senses.
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I already sent one packing for trying to make me compromise on some pretty major shit.
For the record, she ain't "my girl" in the sense that I see her exclusively. If you have stronger game than me, feel free to try to hit it.
Oh hell, no. If I was going to fold it would have been this past September. I was close. Then I came to my senses.
(http://www.subversivecrossstitch.com/kits/images/whateverLG.jpg)
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(http://www.subversivecrossstitch.com/kits/images/whateverLG.jpg)
Don't hate....appreciate.
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Don't hate....appreciate.
I'm not a hater. I just know you. ;)
My wife doesn't control my balls either. However there are things that I compromise on to keep mama happy and you know dis man.
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I'm not a hater. I just know you. ;)
Care to wager upon this?
My wife doesn't control my balls either. However there are things that I compromise on to keep mama happy and you know dis man.
I was staring down a lifetime of compromise in the name of domestic peace. I decided to say "fuck that". In a compromise, no one gets what they want. I have only this life and I want what the fuck I want. I did my compromising for a long, long time. That was quite enough of that for me. To each his own, however.
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I was staring down a lifetime of compromise in the name of domestic peace. I decided to say "fuck that". In a compromise, no one gets what they want. I have only this life and I want what the fuck I want. I did my compromising for a long, long time. That was quite enough of that for me. To each his own, however.
Actually its called love.
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Actually its called love.
Diff'rent Strokes.
I love me some me.
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I find myself reading the last couple of pages and constantly going, "Uh huh...yeah..das right...testify".
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I find myself reading the last couple of pages and constantly going, "Uh huh...yeah..das right...testify".
Just don't let your wife hear you saying that shit. :haha:
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Just don't let your wife hear you saying that poop. :haha:
Aaahhh..but you don't know which posts I was testifying to. BTDub, I understand soemone on this board hit up Ms. Lucille's recently.
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Aaahhh..but you don't know which posts I was testifying to.
Oh, I know. But I'll let you keep the plausible deniability intact.
BTDub, I understand soemone on this board hit up Ms. Lucille's recently.
O rly? Who's been fishin in your honey hole?
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Sans scooter, however.
I appreciate you Weskies, I really do. But Im gonna have to agree with BK. When that girl does come around (God help her, whoever she is) it's gonna happen. Not necessarily balls in a jar, no woman that is really worth a fuck really wants that...but you'll compromise.
You'll go down fighting, but you'll go down. ;)
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Actually its called love.
And not wanting to die alone in a puddle of your own feces under a mountain of empty bottles of [insert your poison of choice here]...
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Sans scooter, however.
I appreciate you Weskies, I really do. But Im gonna have to agree with BK. When that girl does come around (God help her, whoever she is) it's gonna happen. Not necessarily balls in a jar, no woman that is really worth a fuck really wants that...but you'll compromise.
You'll go down fighting, but you'll go down. ;)
That is a true statement. No woman, not even pushy overbearing ones, want a nutless pussy who is afraid to breathe. Real women want a real man. Simple enough.
I talk a big talk, and I walk it most of the time, but C is the head of our household and I am the first one to say it.
And that is HAWT.
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Sans scooter, however.
Was it all you hoped it would be?
I appreciate you Weskies, I really do. But Im gonna have to agree with BK. When that girl does come around (God help her, whoever she is) it's gonna happen. Not necessarily balls in a jar, no woman that is really worth a fuck really wants that...but you'll compromise.
You'll go down fighting, but you'll go down. ;)
Maybe. She'd have to be one hell of a woman. So far no one can convince me to give up the good life.
And not wanting to die alone in a puddle of your own feces under a mountain of empty bottles of [insert your poison of choice here]...
You're born alone and you'll die alone. Make peace with it.
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You're born alone and you'll die alone. Make peace with it.
I may go into that good night alone, but I hope his face or the face of my children are the last things I see. I am at peace with that.
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Damn, that's deep.
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You're born alone and you'll die alone. Make peace with it.
Actually I was born with a bunch of people in the room.
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Damn, that's deep.
Way too deep for a Thursday from hell. One of you bitches get me a drink, stat.
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Actually I was born with a bunch of people in the room.
I don't remember all of them but I know one slapped my ass.
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I may go into that good night alone, but I hope his face or the face of my children are the last things I see. I am at peace with that.
I also hope that when I meet my maker, I can say I gave, I loved and I received and he will welcome me with open arms.
but you don't believe in any of that so I guess it doesn't matter. (wesfau not wench)
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I don't remember all of them but I know one slapped my ass.
It was also the first time you got pussy.
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You're born alone and you'll die alone. Make peace with it.
Odds are, someone will witness your death.
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Odds are, someone will witness your death.
Unless he's good at covering up his tracks.
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It was also the first time you got pussy.
And it sure wasn't the last.
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I also hope that when I meet my maker, I can say I gave, I loved and I received and he will welcome me with open arms.
but you don't believe in any of that so I guess it doesn't matter. (wesfau not wench)
You're getting the picture.
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I gotta' bank on it. If it's not real, then I won't know it anyway. If it is...
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I gotta' bank on it. If it's not real, then I won't know it anyway. If it is...
Like I said, diff'rent strokes...
I only know what I can see/touch/experience. This life is all we're guaranteed. I'm going to make the most of it and do what I want (without harming others). Sin is a meaningless word in my world.
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Odds are, someone will witness your death find the note you leave.
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It was also the first time you tasted pussy.
FTFY
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My only regrets was that Clay Aiken didn't make an appearance. :wartim: :wartim:
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I don't remember all of them but I know one slapped my ass.
Usually you have to pay extra for that.
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Usually you have to pay extra for that.
You want happy ending?
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You want happy ending?
Who doesn't.
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Who doesn't.
Aren't you supposed to be on a plane, harassing stewardess.
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Aren't you supposed to be on a plane, harassing stewardess.
Leaving the shop in about an hour heading that way.
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Leaving the shop in about an hour heading that way.
Remember to have camera phone at the ready in case you walk in on any hot stewardesses perched on the throne.
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Remember to have camera phone at the ready in case you walk in on any hot stewardesses perched on the throne.
yes. Pre and post puke pictures will be in order.
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yes. Pre and post puke pictures will be in order.
Johnny-come-latelies.
Get your own schtick. LT has the "puking on a shitting stewardess" base covered.
Try shitting on a puking stew.
Have fun, Howie.