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The Library => Broun Hall => Topic started by: Kaos on July 15, 2019, 04:17:40 PM

Title: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Kaos on July 15, 2019, 04:17:40 PM
Now that there's going to be a new, black, female 007 we might as well revise the titles for much of the Bond franchise.  

She will drive a 64 Impala convertible, lifted, with gold spinner rims obviously.  Monepenny will be replaced by Mo Money Bitch. Q will be replaced by Q-Pain. 

Films: 
A View To A Kill:  Look Here, Imma Cap that Ass

Dr. No:  Aw, Hell Naw, Doc 

For Your Eyes Only:  Don't Be Side-Eyeing Me, Ho 

Die Another Day:  Lord Jesus, Ain't Nobody Got Time for Dying Today

The Man With The Golden Gun:  Skee Skee Skee, M'fucker


Hmmm... I probably should stop this.  



Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: The Six on July 16, 2019, 08:02:52 AM
(https://media1.giphy.com/media/utU4Nk86x1jTq/giphy.gif?cid=790b76115d2dba715955757477410440&rid=giphy.gif)

Seriously though, what's the big deal? This character has evolved many, many times over the five+ decades of films. So they want a woman to be Bond? Been talking about that since Basic Instinct and Sharon Stone? So they want a minority to play the character? Been talking about that for 10 years as well. So what?
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: AUJarhead on July 16, 2019, 08:57:13 AM
In the case of 007, they are fundamentally changing who the character is.  And if people want to see that, then they will go to the movies.  I have no desire to see a female 007, so I won't spend money on it.  Just don't label me a sexist because of it.

Why not make her agent 003 or 008, and you can have her own movies, set in the same movie universe as Bond? 

The BBC did the same thing with Doctor Who.  I don't like the female Doctor Who, so I stopped watching.  Doesn't bother me.  Also doesn't make me a sexist.
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Buzz Killington on July 16, 2019, 09:14:23 AM
I suppose the movie will start with Bond sitting in a jail cell beginning his 75 year term for rape?  #metoo
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Snaggletiger on July 16, 2019, 09:35:34 AM
In the case of 007, they are fundamentally changing who the character is.  And if people want to see that, then they will go to the movies.  I have no desire to see a female 007, so I won't spend money on it.  Just don't label me a sexist because of it.

Why not make her agent 003 or 008, and you can have her own movies, set in the same movie universe as Bond? 

The BBC did the same thing with Doctor Who.  I don't like the female Doctor Who, so I stopped watching.  Doesn't bother me.  Also doesn't make me a sexist.
Don't sell yourself short.  You're extremely sexy.
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Kaos on July 16, 2019, 11:18:43 AM
(https://media1.giphy.com/media/utU4Nk86x1jTq/giphy.gif?cid=790b76115d2dba715955757477410440&rid=giphy.gif)

Seriously though, what's the big deal? This character has evolved many, many times over the five+ decades of films. So they want a woman to be Bond? Been talking about that since Basic Instinct and Sharon Stone? So they want a minority to play the character? Been talking about that for 10 years as well. So what?

So you'd be okay with Gabourey Sibide as Santa Claus in Santa Claus IV?  

Some things should just be left alone.  This is one of them.  
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: The Six on July 16, 2019, 12:18:23 PM
So you'd be okay with Gabourey Sibide as Santa Claus in Santa Claus IV? 

Some things should just be left alone.  This is one of them. 
I'm for creative freedom and artistic interpretation. 
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: AUJarhead on July 16, 2019, 02:55:36 PM
I'm for creative freedom and artistic interpretation.
The same Hollywood creative freedom and artistic interpretation that ruined Jack Reacher?
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Buzz Killington on July 16, 2019, 02:59:12 PM
The same Hollywood creative freedom and artistic interpretation that ruined Jack Reacher?
Y U no like scientology?
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: AUJarhead on July 16, 2019, 03:06:43 PM
Y U no like scientology?
I have no problem with Tom Cruise.  But when a character is described as being 6'5" and built like a linebacker, you're changing the character fundamentally when you cast Tom Cruise in the role.
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Snaggletiger on July 16, 2019, 03:07:44 PM
The same Hollywood creative freedom and artistic interpretation that ruined Jack Reacher?
I remember Wench being pissed that they were casting Cruise in the part.  I was good with the movie because I'd never read or seen anything about Reacher before the movie came out, so I had no preconceived notions about it.  I like the first one and will watch it every time it's on.  I'm just a big fan of the one-man wrecking crew flicks.  Give me a lot of the early Jason Statham.  Even the horribly acted Steven Seagal movies.

Yes, there are 27 of you surrounding me with AK-47's.  But I have this piece of metal pipe I found.
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Snaggletiger on July 16, 2019, 03:10:59 PM
My favorite scene.  Remember, you wanted this.

https://youtu.be/QWPfKQJ5oSo (https://youtu.be/QWPfKQJ5oSo)
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Snaggletiger on July 16, 2019, 03:21:32 PM
Back on the original topic, I think Jar hit the nail on the head for me.  Make her part of the same organization as Bond but a different agent doing her own thing.  .003 or whatever.  But to have a female replace the actual Bond is just reedonkulus.

Unless she gots big titties and likes to show them a lot. 
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Kaos on July 16, 2019, 03:33:37 PM
I'm for creative freedom and artistic interpretation.
Coming soon to a theater near you:

Forrest Whitaker as Richard M. Nixon in Watergaaeeeete, Boi!

Co-starring Chris Tucker as John Erlichmann, Steve Harvey as G. Gordon Liddy, Kevin Hart as Chuck Colson,  David Ortiz (in his first starring role) as Henry Kissinger, Ice Cube as H.R. Halderman,  Don Cheadle as John Mitchell.  With Eddie Murphy and Jamie Foxx as Woodward and Bernstein.  Also starring Mariah Carey as Pat Nixon and Morgan Freeman as Dwight Eisenhower. 
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Buzz Killington on July 16, 2019, 04:14:36 PM
Back on the original topic, I think Jar hit the nail on the head for me.  Make her part of the same organization as Bond but a different agent doing her own thing.  .003 or whatever.  But to have a female replace the actual Bond is just reedonkulus.

Unless she gots big titties and likes to show them a lot.
00362436
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Kaos on July 16, 2019, 04:29:39 PM
Back on the original topic, I think Jar hit the nail on the head for me.  Make her part of the same organization as Bond but a different agent doing her own thing.  .003 or whatever.  But to have a female replace the actual Bond is just reedonkulus.

Unless she gots big titties and likes to show them a lot.
I don't find National Geographic boobs interesting. 
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Snaggletiger on July 16, 2019, 04:34:39 PM
00362436
What a winning hand.
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: The Six on July 16, 2019, 04:54:28 PM
Coming soon to a theater near you:

Forrest Whitaker as Richard M. Nixon in Watergaaeeeete, Boi!

Co-starring Chris Tucker as John Erlichmann, Steve Harvey as G. Gordon Liddy, Kevin Hart as Chuck Colson,  David Ortiz (in his first starring role) as Henry Kissinger, Ice Cube as H.R. Halderman,  Don Cheadle as John Mitchell.  With Eddie Murphy and Jamie Foxx as Woodward and Bernstein.  Also starring Mariah Carey as Pat Nixon and Morgan Freeman as Dwight Eisenhower.
Isn't that basically the casting idea behind Hamilton?
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: AUJarhead on July 16, 2019, 04:54:55 PM
00362436
Only if she's 5'3".
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Buzz Killington on July 16, 2019, 04:57:29 PM
Only if she's 5'3".
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: wesfau2 on July 16, 2019, 05:08:40 PM
Feeling extra racist today, I see.

Nice.
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: AUJarhead on July 16, 2019, 05:56:58 PM
Feeling extra racist today, I see.

Nice.
He's racist because he wouldn't want to see Matthew McConaughey cast as Shaft?  Or Dave Bautista cast as Apollo Creed?  Or Scarlett Johansson as Lando Calrissian?

Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Snaggletiger on July 16, 2019, 06:15:58 PM
I was reading a little on the possibilities and rumors for this movie today.  Rumor has it that Bond is going into retirement and the lady takes over the .007 number.  She won't actually be Bond and the real Bond gets dragged out of retirement and into a case with her.  Possible love interest, but it is James Bond, so go figure. 
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Kaos on July 16, 2019, 06:35:33 PM
He's racist because he wouldn't want to see Matthew McConaughey cast as Shaft?  Or Dave Bautista cast as Apollo Creed?  Or Scarlett Johansson as Lando Calrissian?
No.  It’s because I’m white and not a screaming liberal. 
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: wesfau2 on July 16, 2019, 06:40:08 PM
No.  It’s because I’m white and not a screaming liberal. 
It was the stereotyped film names.

But you knew that.
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Kaos on July 16, 2019, 08:31:55 PM
It was the stereotyped film names.

But you knew that.
That was yesterday. 
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: GH2001 on July 17, 2019, 08:53:42 AM
It was the stereotyped film names.

But you knew that.

O.k.
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Godfather on July 17, 2019, 11:48:34 AM
It will bomb.  Much like Ghostbusters female version.  And everyone will be labeled sexist.  the end.


fucking ruined Bond...I'm done.
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Kaos on July 17, 2019, 12:21:26 PM
It will bomb.  Much like Ghostbusters female version.  And everyone will be labeled sexist.  the end.


fucking ruined Bond...I'm done.
Feeling extra racist today, I see. 
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Snaggletiger on July 17, 2019, 12:25:04 PM
It will bomb.  Much like Ghostbusters female version.  And everyone will be labeled sexist.  the end.


fucking ruined Bond...I'm done.
Honestly, I haven't been into the Bond series in quite some time.  Yeah, I'm old. Grew up on Moore and Connery.  It was their personalities and swagger that made the character.  When you start getting up to 3-4 different Bonds later, I just don't care to try and warm to that new personality and see if I think he's believable as .007.  Same with Batman.  After #15, it just doesn't matter anymore.
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Godfather on July 17, 2019, 12:31:58 PM
Feeling extra racist today, I see.
no just sexist and misogynistic I save my racism for Thursdays.
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Kaos on July 17, 2019, 12:45:32 PM
Honestly, I haven't been into the Bond series in quite some time.  Yeah, I'm old. Grew up on Moore and Connery.  It was their personalities and swagger that made the character.  When you start getting up to 3-4 different Bonds later, I just don't care to try and warm to that new personality and see if I think he's believable as .007.  Same with Batman.  After #15, it just doesn't matter anymore.
I once thought Bale's Batman was probably the best representation, but going back now and watching those movies I'm underwhelmed.  He didn't have the requisite physicality for one and that stupid thing he did with his voice was jarring.  Those movies are also much, much too long.  Dark Knight is one of the best Batman films ever made (sans the voice) but it really should have been condensed to deal only with the Joker and jettison the whole Two-Face storyline.  It would have been a much tighter, much more compelling movie.  

Speaking of Batman, I have no hopes or expectations at all for the upcoming Joker movie.  From the trailers it looks like iguana turds.  It's not the movie we want, and it's not the movie we need.  

Also speaking of Batman, I ran across a graphic novel recently that would, I think, make an interesting film. Not that anyone associated with the current DC Universe should touch it given the mess they've made of it so far.  The plot is fairly simple - Joker is cured of the psychotic behavior and goes straight. Manages to convince Gotham that Batman is the menace, due to his destructive behavior etc.  That's something I could see happening.  

But no, not now.  Not when they think that 150-lb waif Pattinson twink is the best choice to portray Batman.  
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: AUJarhead on July 17, 2019, 02:02:47 PM
Honestly, I haven't been into the Bond series in quite some time.  Yeah, I'm old. Grew up on Moore and Connery.  It was their personalities and swagger that made the character.  When you start getting up to 3-4 different Bonds later, I just don't care to try and warm to that new personality and see if I think he's believable as .007.  Same with Batman.  After #15, it just doesn't matter anymore.
I thought Casino Royale was the best Bond in 20 years.  To me, it's always been Moore who has been Bond, and I never cared for Dalton or Brosnan, but I really like Daniel Craig (haven't enjoyed the movies that have come out since Casino Royale as much, but I like them better than anything Dalton/Brosnan did).
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: GH2001 on July 17, 2019, 02:09:58 PM
no just sexist and misogynistic I save my racism for Thursdays.

You left out a few of the libtard cliche dog whistle classics - xenophobic, homophobic, transphobic. Yadda fuckin yadda.
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Godfather on July 17, 2019, 02:12:09 PM
I thought Casino Royale was the best Bond in 20 years.  To me, it's always been Moore who has been Bond, and I never cared for Dalton or Brosnan, but I really like Daniel Craig (haven't enjoyed the movies that have come out since Casino Royale as much, but I like them better than anything Dalton/Brosnan did).
Agree except I like Connery as best Bond, I would put Daniel Craig at #2.  Moore always seemed too old for the part, although those were better stories.
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: GH2001 on July 17, 2019, 02:13:37 PM
Agree except I like Connery as best Bond, I would put Daniel Craig at #2.  Moore always seemed too old for the part, although those were better stories.

But Duran Duran made a sweet video for view to a kill. 
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Kaos on July 17, 2019, 02:31:12 PM
But Duran Duran made a sweet video for view to a kill.
Why are there no black members of Duran Duran?  Or The Beatles?  

Music is racist. 
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: GH2001 on July 17, 2019, 03:12:30 PM
Why are there no black members of Duran Duran?  Or The Beatles? 

Music is racist.
Anglo saxons are usually white, so.....
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Godfather on July 17, 2019, 03:37:47 PM
But Duran Duran made a sweet video for view to a kill.
Agree and I love A View to a Kill's storyline, except Bond sleeping with Grace Jones, ugh that thing was never sexy or hot.  Just never cared for Sir Roger. He played the part well, I just thought him to be old for the part....just didn't resonate with me, much like a female bond wouldn't black white or otherwise.

So I guess I am ageist aswell.

BTW don't have problem with female leads, just when they are shoved down our throat because the world needs to be PC.  Salt...great flick strong female lead...no need to push an agenda.  Captain Marvel movie wasn't the worst in the MCU but it was close due to the incessant girl power, it just made it over the top, there was no need to do it.  Alita Battle Angel, watched this weekend again great strong female lead, fun movie.  Hollywood just can't write anymore, no one has original ideas.
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Saniflush on July 17, 2019, 03:52:50 PM
Why are there no black members of Duran Duran?  Or The Beatles? 

Music is racist.
There was....

https://vimeo.com/8904532
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Snaggletiger on July 17, 2019, 03:54:01 PM
Agree and I love A View to a Kill's storyline, except Bond sleeping with Grace Jones, ugh that thing was never sexy or hot.  Just never cared for Sir Roger. He played the part well, I just thought him to be old for the part....just didn't resonate with me, much like a female bond wouldn't black white or otherwise.

So I guess I am ageist aswell.

BTW don't have problem with female leads, just when they are shoved down our throat because the world needs to be PC.  Salt...great flick strong female lead...no need to push an agenda.  Captain Marvel movie wasn't the worst in the MCU but it was close due to the incessant girl power, it just made it over the top, there was no need to do it.  Alita Battle Angel, watched this weekend again great strong female lead, fun movie.  Hollywood just can't write anymore, no one has original ideas.
Speaking of shoving it down the throat, have you seen Nikky Jizz in the Fast & Curious series?  Talk about your strong, take-control female leads.   
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Kaos on July 17, 2019, 04:14:56 PM
Anglo saxons are usually white, so.....
Blacks can play those too.  I saw Bill Clinton do it and he was the blackest white man I ever seen! 
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Snaggletiger on July 17, 2019, 05:02:05 PM
Blacks can play those too.  I saw Bill Clinton do it and he was the blackest white man I ever seen!
(https://mediadc.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/2ce87d4/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1992x1560+0+0/resize/1992x1560!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmediadc.brightspotcdn.com%2F63%2F88%2F4cf5ccef03d4901fc48331b90a10%2F2cfa94791da56aaa25e063a993de9be0.jpg) (https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwjF4v7k6rzjAhUFTKwKHckHBHMQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.washingtonexaminer.com%2Fthe-playboy-presidents-bill-clinton-and-warren-g-harding&psig=AOvVaw3EVh44Hgu3AmI7hOrVknZd&ust=1563483092382893)
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: AUJarhead on July 17, 2019, 05:04:42 PM
BTW don't have problem with female leads, just when they are shoved down our throat because the world needs to be PC. 

Sarah Connor and Ripley are two of the best leads in sci-fi, regardless of sex.

And speaking of Sarah Connor...  Here's the director of the new movie bringing sexism into it...

https://www.cinemablend.com/news/2476366/terminator-dark-fate-director-drops-f-bomb-about-sexist-trolls

Quote
If you’re at all enlightened, she’ll play like gangbusters. If you’re a closet misogynist, she’ll scare the fuck out of you, because she’s tough and strong but very feminine. We did not trade certain gender traits for others; she’s just very strong, and that frightens some dudes. You can see online the responses to some of the early shit that’s out there, trolls on the internet. I don’t give a fuck.
Already blaming sexist trolls...  This movie is going to suck, isn't it?

Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Kaos on July 17, 2019, 06:06:10 PM
This movie is going to suck, isn't it?
Was there ever any doubt?
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Buzz Killington on July 18, 2019, 04:55:39 PM
Anglo saxons are usually white, so.....
We found the problem!  Let's just get rid of all the Anglo saxons!  Problem solved.
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Kaos on July 18, 2019, 05:17:29 PM
We found the problem!  Let's just get rid of all the Anglo saxons!  Problem solved.
They tried that in Africa.  You know, the continent with more natural resources than any other on earth? 

(https://villageenterprise.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/What-We-Do_Extreme-Poverty.jpg)

They also tried it in the Middle East.  

(https://www.iraqinews.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Iraq-poverty.jpg)

It's been wildly successful thus far.  
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: GH2001 on July 18, 2019, 11:10:47 PM
Blacks can play those too.  I saw Bill Clinton do it and he was the blackest white man I ever seen!
LBJ said he would have “them” voting democrat for 100 years 
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Saniflush on July 19, 2019, 10:28:15 AM
We found the problem!  Let's just get rid of all the Anglo saxons!  Problem solved.
I liked Saxon growing up...

https://youtu.be/2oLC0nOfWGc

Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: CCTAU on July 19, 2019, 01:29:14 PM
Sarah Connor and Ripley are two of the best leads in sci-fi, regardless of sex.

And speaking of Sarah Connor...  Here's the director of the new movie bringing sexism into it...
And speaking of Sarah Connor..
I really enjoyed the Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.
Imaging being a teenage boy with your own fully functioning terminator that looked like this:
(http://photos.summer-glau.com/albums/userpics/10001/b9/TSCC-00118.jpg)

Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Saniflush on July 19, 2019, 01:33:04 PM
Summer.....mmmmmm.
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: Snaggletiger on September 11, 2019, 04:50:08 PM
A woman after K's heart.  pinched from foxy

If former Bond Girl Valerie Leon has her way, the world will never see a female (https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/bond-girl-madeline-smith-next-007-female) James Bond (https://www.foxnews.com/category/entertainment/movies/james-bond).
The 75-year-old actress, who starred in 1977's "The Spy Who Loved Me (https://www.foxnews.com/category/entertainment/movies)" and 1983's "Never Say Never Again" griped on "Good Morning Britain (https://www.foxnews.com/category/entertainment/tv)": "The world has gone mad. I'm dressed in black. I am in mourning that we're here to talk about Bond being a woman."

She continued, "He was conceived as a man, Ian Fleming created him as a man."
JAMES BOND HISTORIAN: 007 WON'T BE PLAYED BY A WOMAN ANY TIME SOON (https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/james-bond-wont-be-played-by-a-female-in-hollywood-anytime-soon-claims-007-historian)
(https://a57.foxnews.com/static.foxnews.com/foxnews.com/content/uploads/2019/09/640/320/Bond-Girl-Valerie-Leon-career-life-interview-Tony-Padman-614933.jpg?ve=1&tl=1)
Sean Connery and Valerie Leon are seen in "Never Say Never Again." Leon has slammed the idea of a female James Bond. (Taliafilm)


London-bred Leon added, "He's a fantasy. So many men have wanted to be Bond and women have wanted to be with Bond. How can people fantasize about a woman as Bond? Men aren't going to go for a woman as a killer or an assassin."
FORMER 'BOND' DIRECTOR SAYS ROBERT PATTINSON SHOULD BE THE NEXT 007 (https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/former-bond-25-director-says-robert-pattinson-should-play-james-bond)
Finally, she offered a more practical argument, noting, "Why would the producers change something that's been so successful for years?"
Leon isn't the only Bond girl with those sentiments.
Title: Re: Revised Bond titles
Post by: CCTAU on September 12, 2019, 02:03:15 PM

Quote
"Why would the producers change something that's been so successful for years?"

Because liberalism is a disease.