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The Library => Broun Hall => Topic started by: Kaos on October 21, 2015, 10:01:23 AM
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Ok, so the latest Star Wars trailer has my hopes up.
The first three in retrospect weren't what you'd call great cinema, but those movies were a cultural phenomenon and had a significant impact on a lot of people. I'll never forget sitting in the theater when that massive ship dominated the entire screen. Unlocked a sense of wonder in me. Doesn't matter that I now know that "massive" ship was actually the size of a matchbox car.
Those three movies -- even with the stupid ass Ewoks, which I hated -- were legends to me.
And then? They came out with those god awful, shittacular fuckersnots with Racist Jinks, that punk ass bitch Jingle All the Way kid, that turd in a cape Homo Christensen and some painted up Halloween freak Darth Bannister or some ridiculous garbage. That took a filthy broccoli shit all over my entire childhood. Those movies were such an abomination that Caddyshack II high fived itself.
I didn't want to have any expectations for this new version/story or whatever. But I've got to admit that when I first saw Han and Chewie in the original trailer it gave me some goosebumps. This last trailer has me on board. I bought tickets for opening night yesterday.
The bad part is I think I already have it figured out. Luke has gone bad. That's the story. I hope I'm wrong and there's a bigger story than that, but my gut says that at the end of this film a mask will be removed to reveal bad Luke Skywalker, seduced by the dark side.
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Agree totally. After the first 3, it wasn't Star Wars anymore. I completely lost interest in trying to follow it and keep up with the new cast of characters and storylines.
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The bad part is I think I already have it figured out. Luke has gone bad. That's the story. I hope I'm wrong and there's a bigger story than that, but my gut says that at the end of this film a mask will be removed to reveal bad Luke Skywalker, seduced by the dark side.
I agree with this, but I think it'll be more complicated than that.
That was a big point of IV-VI. It's very difficult to avoid the dark side when you're that skilled in the Force.
I don't think Luke Skywalker is suddenly going to be the next Vader. I do think we'll see him isolated on a distant planet trying to keep balance in himself with the Force. We may learn something more about Yoda as well. Was Yoda really on that planet by himself to live out a retirement? Or was there something else going on that he was trying to keep at bay?
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The fact that George Lucas didn't write it nor is directing it is good enough for me.
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I knew that all of you are nerds but damn. Just damn. (insert Tubb's facepalm that no longer works for me on Winders 10 and my new highspeed industrial computer)
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I knew that all of you are nerds but damn. Just damn. :facepalm:
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I thought this was a thread about kaos taking Viagra.
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BTW you are wrong about Luke, Kaos, just letting you know. I have read the after books, Luke is not the bad guy.
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BTW you are wrong about Luke, Kaos, just letting you know. I have read the after books, Luke is not the bad guy.
Which ones? Only ones I've read take place right after Jedi.
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Which ones? Only ones I've read take place right after Jedi.
They're comic books
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They're comic books
Aftermath is a legit book, words and everything. No pictures!
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BTW you are wrong about Luke, Kaos, just letting you know. I have read the after books, Luke is not the bad guy.
Disregard this I was informed by someone more knowledgable in the force, that when the rat took over he waved his hand and made half the Star Wars Universe disappear.
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Disregard this I was informed by someone more knowledgable in the force, that when the rat took over he waved his hand and made half the Star Wars Universe disappear.
Mickey don't play. Just ask the Jonas Brothers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtdZd8x0Uqs (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtdZd8x0Uqs)
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Disregard this I was informed by someone more knowledgable in the force, that when the rat took over he waved his hand and made half the Star Wars Universe disappear.
This is correct. And a good thing, IMO. Mainly due to the fact that it would be lame to release a movie following the plot lines of some amateur ass fan fiction that everyone already knows.
However...
The bad part is I think I already have it figured out. Luke has gone bad. That's the story. I hope I'm wrong and there's a bigger story than that, but my gut says that at the end of this film a mask will be removed to reveal bad Luke Skywalker, seduced by the dark side.
Luke is suspiciously absent from the poster and sort of absent from the trailers. That's true. However, it is more likely that he's disfigured or something after living in exile and they want his appearance to be some sort of reveal in the film.
Adam Driver is playing Kylo Ren, the new Sith.
And these luscious locks do not belong to Mark Hamill.
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CRuohr5UwAAEQXj.jpg:large)
Also so here's the trailer, and, spoiler based on an observation from it that I'll print it in white for courtesy.
https://youtu.be/sGbxmsDFVnE
Chewbacca's dead. 1:45. Clearly him. Hairy body, shoulder strap thing.
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Just watched that trailer. Okay, THAT'S what I'm talkin' bout. I will go see this.
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However, it is more likely that he's disfigured or something after living in exile and they want his appearance to be some sort of reveal in the film.
Not disfigured.
(https://consequenceofsound.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/screen-shot-2015-08-13-at-5-49-25-pm.png?w=800&h=1040)
Likely in hiding.
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Not disfigured.
(https://consequenceofsound.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/screen-shot-2015-08-13-at-5-49-25-pm.png?w=800&h=1040)
Likely in hiding.
Hiding is my guess, but not from anything other than distraction. To master the Force he's got to embrace the yin and yang, right? I'd assume acknowledging/accepting the Dark Side requires constant vigilance so that you aren't slowly convinced by the silver tongue that doesn't shut up. You find a swamp, eliminate all distractions, hang out and focus on accentuating the positive and e-liminating the negative in order to reach the highest level of Nirvana. Which, coincidentally, smells like Teen Spirit.
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Hiding is my guess, but not from anything other than distraction. To master the Force he's got to embrace the yin and yang, right? I'd assume acknowledging/accepting the Dark Side requires constant vigilance so that you aren't slowly convinced by the silver tongue that doesn't shut up. You find a swamp, eliminate all distractions, hang out and focus on accentuating the positive and e-liminating the negative in order to reach the highest level of Nirvana. Which, coincidentally, smells like Teen Spirit.
Basically following Yodas footprint
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Anybody see it yet?
Here are my takes, without spoilers...
First of all, it was 10,000x better than the prequels. It was everything we wanted those to be. The CGI was tactful and didn't take you out of the movie. It was used in a way that updated the franchise, yet didn't feel like it was relying on it, and still kept the feel of the originals rather than some Pixar bullshit.
The acting was infinitely better than the deadpan garbage in the prequels and probably better than any movie in the franchise.
There was actual, genuine humor. Not "Yousa gonna be in some deep doodoo" childish annoying tripe.
And most importantly, it was just good. The plot was coherent and you actually gave a shit about the characters.
In my opinion, the use of old characters to tie back to the original trilogy, and new characters being the central focus was perfectly balanced and effective. This wasn't like Indiana Jones where the central focus was some a cast of geriatrics to capitalize on nostalgia. The passing of the torch felt genuine, not contrived.
It borrowed from the original trilogy in just the right ways and just the right amounts to make it feel like it belonged in the franchise, without being too much just a wink and nod fest. The three new leads, Rey, Finn, and Poe, had strong elements of Luke, Leia and Han, although some of their characteristics were rearranged a bit. Specifically, Rey is more of the Luke character. Poe is definitely the Han. Finn is sort of more the Leia role.
I won't go any further into the plot than that, but divorcing myself from the nostalgia factor, it could possibly have been the best film in the series, when taking all of that into account. It was definitely in the mix with the original trilogy and was FOR SURE better than the prequels by miles and miles. In fact, this just made me angrier at what a pile of garbage those were and how they COULD have been more like this in so many ways...
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I'm genuinely pumped about seeing this. After Return of the Jedi, the whole thing lost me. Became totally uninterested. Similar to Batman and Bond for me. After the 27th different Batman and 64th James Bond, it stopped working. When I saw the trailer, I thought "Okay, this looks like the Star Wars that had me driving home from the theater playing Jedi Knight and using my gear shift to fire laser shots at incoming evil guys".
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Anybody see it yet?
Guess that's a nah?
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Guess that's a nah?
Plan on it this weekend with little man. Hopefully its not sold out before we get in.
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Saw it last night, and Chizad and I already had a discussion about it via twitter. It's much better than the prequels, which doesn't say much, I know. It's the Star Wars movie we've all been waiting for since Jedi. I really like the new heroes, and I can't wait to see where this goes for VIII.
All that being said, I still like the originals better, and again, that's not a knock on this movie. You can be worse than the original trilogy and still be fucking awesome.
For those with kids worried about the pg-13 rating, it's really no worse off than Empire/Jedi in terms of violence.
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Saw it last night, and Chizad and I already had a discussion about it via twitter. It's much better than the prequels, which doesn't say much, I know. It's the Star Wars movie we've all been waiting for since Jedi. I really like the new heroes, and I can't wait to see where this goes for VIII.
All that being said, I still like the originals better, and again, that's not a knock on this movie. You can be worse than the original trilogy and still be fucking awesome.
For those with kids worried about the pg-13 rating, it's really no worse off than Empire/Jedi in terms of violence.
I had no idea that was you, ha.
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I'm genuinely pumped about seeing this. After Return of the Jedi, the whole thing lost me. Became totally uninterested. Similar to Batman and Bond for me. After the 27th different Batman and 64th James Bond, it stopped working. When I saw the trailer, I thought "Okay, this looks like the Star Wars that had me driving home from the theater playing Jedi Knight and using my gear shift to fire laser shots at incoming evil guys".
(http://www.renlish.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/1330447747895811242.jpg)
oh hell no...
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(http://www.renlish.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/1330447747895811242.jpg)
oh hell no...
Dude, I grew up on Roger Moore and Sean Connery. Everything after that was pure shit. THAT was James Bond. Daniel Craig? Pierce Brosnan? Really? Fuck that.
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Dude, I grew up on Roger Moore and Sean Connery. Everything after that was pure shit. THAT was James Bond. Daniel Craig? Pierce Brosnan? Really? Fuck that.
You old
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Guess that's a nah?
Guess there's an entire thread of movie reviews.
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Dude, I grew up on Roger Moore and Sean Connery. Everything after that was pure shit. THAT was James Bond. Daniel Craig? Pierce Brosnan? Really? Fuck that.
yeah, really. Craig brings back what Connery did to the Bond films but just in current role. They all had there remarkable performances as Bond. They all had their low points including Connery. Now Dalton did suck. He all but killed the franchise. So I give you that, but I still find myself watching them.
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Loved it.
Abrams re-captured the feel of IV, V and VI. It was awesome to see tie-fighters, x-wings and the goddamned MILLENNIUM FALCON again.
I thought the new characters were well-cast and -acted. The scene at Maz Kanata's joint was a particular favorite, with the throwback nod to the cantina on Tattooine.
Will see it again, at least once.
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Guess there's an entire thread of movie reviews.
Guess December 18, 2015, 10:28:09 PM is after December 18, 2015, 12:43:24 PM.
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Loved it.
Abrams re-captured the feel of IV, V and VI. It was awesome to see tie-fighters, x-wings and the goddamned MILLENNIUM FALCON again.
I thought the new characters were well-cast and -acted. The scene at Maz Kanata's joint was a particular favorite, with the throwback nod to the cantina on Tattooine.
Will see it again, at least once.
There's a scene at Maz Kanata's? Oh thanks for spoiling the whole damn movie for all of us.
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There's a scene at Maz Kanata's? Oh thanks for spoiling the whole damn movie for all of us.
It's really awesome when Maz tries to dutch rudder Chewie.
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It's really awesome when Maz tries to dutch rudder Chewie.
You gotta be real careful with Chewie though he'll pull your arm off if you get him to excited.
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Guess December 18, 2015, 10:28:09 PM is after December 18, 2015, 12:43:24 PM.
Guess the timestamp isn't correct.
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Guess the timestamp isn't correct.
Oh.
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dropped 75 to see Star Wars last night. wow. i cannot believe i wasted my hard earned money on a Star Wars: New Hope reboot.
what did i expect? i expected a new invigorating story line...something fresh. minus a senate dispute or trade disputes this movie wasn't too far off of the original. give me something tense like the garbage disposal scene in New Hope.
i expected the utilization of 2015 cinematographic technology not puppets...which is so 1977.
i expected better character development...i did not connect with the new characters like i did with the folks in the original. they like most of the new generation a bunch of pussies...yes likable and fun. give me grit and tough. speaking of the New Hope relics...why did we need them? Perhaps to support the shitty cast. the new cast is only a half-step above Jar Jar Binks.
how about more audience loving sidekicks like the original 3. what is up with BB-8 droid...some poor man's version of R2D2?
and JJ Abrhams is no George Lucas. he's a hack. and sucks at being nostalgic. can't he come up with is own ideas rather than rebooting movies from our time.
i guess in respect to the movie it's there to entertain our sissified while beloved millennials.
fuck disney too for ruining americana.
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You might want to lower your expectations in life.
You'll live longer.
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dropped 75 to see Star Wars last night. wow. i cannot believe i wasted my hard earned money on a Star Wars: New Hope reboot.
what did i expect? i expected a new invigorating story line...something fresh. minus a senate dispute or trade disputes this movie wasn't too far off of the original. give me something tense like the garbage disposal scene in New Hope.
i expected the utilization of 2015 cinematographic technology not puppets...which is so 1977.
i expected better character development...i did not connect with the new characters like i did with the folks in the original. they like most of the new generation a bunch of pussies...yes likable and fun. give me grit and tough. speaking of the New Hope relics...why did we need them? Perhaps to support the shitty cast. the new cast is only a half-step above Jar Jar Binks.
how about more audience loving sidekicks like the original 3. what is up with BB-8 droid...some poor man's version of R2D2?
and JJ Abrhams is no George Lucas. he's a hack. and sucks at being nostalgic. can't he come up with is own ideas rather than rebooting movies from our time.
i guess in respect to the movie it's there to entertain our sissified while beloved millennials.
fuck disney too for ruining americana.
Ok. I didn't hate it as much as chinook. Didn't hate it at all really.
But had some of the same problems.
The new cast didn't resonate with me. Zero chemistry. Like bland oatmeal. Too many strained expressions of something.
And a new Death Star? Really? One that has to power up to destroy whole systems. Like Vulcan? It was the same damn thing he deployed in Star Trek.
It needed swagger. I watched the first one again yesterday. The graphics and such were not great and the acting was a little hokey. But it had so much more energy and life than this.
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It needed swagger. I watched the first one again yesterday. The graphics and such were not great and the acting was a little hokey. But it had so much more energy and life than this.
When you say "the first one", I hope for the love of all that is holy you mean A New Hope and not Phantom Menace...
Chinook is the first person I've seen to be that vocally disappointed by this. I truly don't know what you were expecting.
The main complaint I've seen, and you've expressed is that it's too much like the original trilogy. That's like bitching that blowjobs feel too good or bacon is too delicious.
Thank God this cleansed our palette with scenery and a story line that isn't completely out of place with the originals after the dog turds that were the prequels. Thank God for the parallels. That's what I wanted. It feels like a natural progression of the story.
And I suspect we will get significantly more story in the next two films. A New Hope was a lot more character introduction than action and plot than a lot of people remember. Most of that came in Empire Strikes Back. I think this trilogy actually tries to stick to the formula, which I think is a very very good thing, so I suspect we will get tons more action and story when then next film is released.
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#whitepeopleproblems
Besides, I thought this was a thread about Snags finally getting his hands on some viagra.
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#whitepeopleproblems
Besides, I thought this was a thread about Snags finally getting his hands on some viagra.
It's not the Empire Strikes Out.
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It certainly could have been worse. When you hear George Lucas say that his favorite character in the Star Wars universe is Jar Jar Binks, you realize he's so very far removed from understanding what he created and you're glad he had enough sense to step back and let someone else have a go.
I'm still disappointed that the big weapon was the same concept as Episode IV and also stole directly from Abrams' Star Trek.
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It was a nice episode. It felt like a 1977 reboot. But I enjoyed it. The worst thing about the movie was The Ben Solo character and actor. The actor was just hard to look at and the character was like a petulant child. I hope they never give him the title of Darth!
I really liked the new character Rey. I think she might end up being Luke's daughter.
Went with the wife, my 19 yr old son and my 16 yr old daughter. It was nice to be there as a family on Christmas Day.
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Fastest movie to $1 Billion.
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It was a nice episode. It felt like a 1977 reboot. But I enjoyed it. The worst thing about the movie was The Ben Solo character and actor. The actor was just hard to look at and the character was like a petulant child. I hope they never give him the title of Darth!
I really liked the new character Rey. I think she might end up being Luke's daughter.
Went with the wife, my 19 yr old son and my 16 yr old daughter. It was nice to be there as a family on Christmas Day.
such a nice story. please tell it again.
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Fastest movie to $1 Billion.
At 12 bucks a pop, it should have been.
Adjusted for inflation, Titanic and the first Star Wars in 1977 are pretty safe it seems.
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At 12 bucks a pop, it should have been.
Adjusted for inflation, Titanic and the first Star Wars in 1977 are pretty safe it seems.
so is Gone with the Wind.
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so is Gone with the Wind.
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/alltime/adjusted.htm
1 Gone with the Wind MGM $1,685,052,200 $198,676,459 1939^
2 Star Wars Fox $1,485,517,400 $460,998,007 1977^
3 The Sound of Music Fox $1,187,744,200 $158,671,368 1965
4 E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial Uni. $1,183,065,200 $435,110,554 1982^
5 Titanic Par. $1,129,857,100 $658,672,302 1997^
6 The Ten Commandments Par. $1,092,540,000 $65,500,000 1956
7 Jaws Uni. $1,068,177,300 $260,000,000 1975
8 Doctor Zhivago MGM $1,035,289,700 $111,721,910 1965
9 The Exorcist WB $922,397,100 $232,906,145 1973^
10 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Dis. $909,060,000 $184,925,486 1937^
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Since it' has been out a week, some type of spoiler may be attached to this. You have been warned.
I liked it overall, was it as good as 4, 5 & 6 no. I liked the new characters and I thought the acting and dialogue were light years ahead of the prequels. Also liked the cliff hanger ending. However,
What was my biggest disappointment, the overall story. To me it was basically A New Hope and Jedi combined. Take a hero(ine) from a desert planet abandoned longing for something more that is strong with the force and doesn't know it. (A new hope) Meet up with an smuggler (NH) Take out a shield to destroy the ultimate weapon (Jedi) Kill a character that is meaningful to story to bring about emotions and stir new feelings, also creating a villain (NH)
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such a nice story. please tell it again.
It was a nice episode. It felt like a 1977 reboot. But I enjoyed it. The worst thing about the movie was The Ben Solo character and actor. The actor was just hard to look at and the character was like a petulant child. I hope they never give him the title of Darth!
I really liked the new character Rey. I think she might end up being Luke's daughter.
Went with the wife, my 19 yr old son and my 16 yr old daughter. It was nice to be there as a family
on Christmas Day.
Beyotch
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It certainly could have been worse. When you hear George Lucas say that his favorite character in the Star Wars universe is Jar Jar Binks, you realize he's so very far removed from understanding what he created and you're glad he had enough sense to step back and let someone else have a go.
There are some theories about Jar Jar which would explain why Lucas liked him so much and are worth a watch on youtube.
Basically Lucas had planned for JarJar to be the main Sith Lord, the one overseeing all of it, the Emperor's (Darth Sideious) Sith Master. Far fetched... could be. I wouldn't put it past Lucas. It is believed that he caved to fan's calling for JarJar's head on a platter and rewrote it. It would also explain the fact of why he loved the character.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yy3q9f84EA
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This post contains spoilers, so skip it if you haven't seen the new movie and don't want it spoiled.
Since it' has been out a week, some type of spoiler may be attached to this. You have been warned.
I liked it overall, was it as good as 4, 5 & 6 no. I liked the new characters and I thought the acting and dialogue were light years ahead of the prequels. Also liked the cliff hanger ending. However,
What was my biggest disappointment, the overall story. To me it was basically A New Hope and Jedi combined. Take a hero(ine) from a desert planet abandoned longing for something more that is strong with the force and doesn't know it. (A new hope) Meet up with an smuggler (NH) Take out a shield to destroy the ultimate weapon (Jedi) Kill a character that is meaningful to story to bring about emotions and stir new feelings, also creating a villain (NH)
This seems to be the critique.
There are parallels and familiar elements. If there were less, I would have liked it less. The purpose of this movie was to bring back the familiarity of the original story, which the disjointed prequels completely failed to do. It is essentially history repeating. The Republic are in control, but now a new Imperial sect has formed and are getting ready to "finish what (the old Empire) started". We have a Luke-like character in Rey because she's going to be Luke's daughter. That's not a spoiler, I just gathered that based on Luke's voiceover in the trailer, and the movie itself. Poe & Finn really aren't all that much of carbon copies of Han & Leia, IMO. Finn is more naive and cowardly than any of the characters from the original trilogy. Poe, while we didn't see a lot of him in this movie, is sort of a badass and has a lot of dry funny lines, but that's really where his comparison to Han end.
The only thing I can kind of see as being a bit too recycled is the Starkiller just being a bigger Deathstar, and them blowing it up at the end. But I get it. The First Order (allusion to Third Reich?) wanted to improve upon the methods of the now fallen Empire. So they build a Death Star, but bigger. And it's got, like, a whole planet inside it, so I guess that's sort of new & improved as well.
So yeah, there are parallels to the original trilogy, which I think is entirely the point. Both to tie it into the original series, to show "history repeating", and most importantly to cleanse your palette from the dumpster fire prequels.
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This post contains spoilers, so skip it if you haven't seen the new movie and don't want it spoiled.
This seems to be the critique.
There are parallels and familiar elements. If there were less, I would have liked it less. The purpose of this movie was to bring back the familiarity of the original story, which the disjointed prequels completely failed to do. It is essentially history repeating. The Republic are in control, but now a new Imperial sect has formed and are getting ready to "finish what (the old Empire) started". We have a Luke-like character in Rey because she's going to be Luke's daughter. That's not a spoiler, I just gathered that based on Luke's voiceover in the trailer, and the movie itself. Poe & Finn really aren't all that much of carbon copies of Han & Leia, IMO. Finn is more naive and cowardly than any of the characters from the original trilogy. Poe, while we didn't see a lot of him in this movie, is sort of a badass and has a lot of dry funny lines, but that's really where his comparison to Han end.
The only thing I can kind of see as being a bit too recycled is the Starkiller just being a bigger Deathstar, and them blowing it up at the end. But I get it. The First Order (allusion to Third Reich?) wanted to improve upon the methods of the now fallen Empire. So they build a Death Star, but bigger. And it's got, like, a whole planet inside it, so I guess that's sort of new & improved as well.
So yeah, there are parallels to the original trilogy, which I think is entirely the point. Both to tie it into the original series, to show "history repeating", and most importantly to cleanse your palette from the dumpster fire prequels.
And I get that it.... it was basically a reboot.
Was just disappointing to me. I was just hoping for something a little more original.
Like I said I liked it... a lot actually, can't wait for the next one. Luke looked bad ass. To me originals are still the best, but 8 has me moist with anticipation.
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I don't remember sitting through 4,5 or 6. I watched 1 because of my little one at the time and thought it was stupid. I know who Luke, Vader, Hans Solo and Leia are...that's about it...
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I don't remember sitting through 4,5 or 6. I watched 1 because of my little one at the time and thought it was stupid. I know who Luke, Vader, Hans Solo and Leia are...that's about it...
That's because you're a young buck. When the original came out, there had never been anything like it. It was one of those movies that blew everyone away. Now granted, I recall making my kid sit down several years ago to watch the first one, thinking he'd "get" what I was talking about. Even I thought it was pretty lame seeing it about 25 years later.
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Unlike most other people, I liked the movie less the second time I watched it.
Spoilers
1) The non-reaction from Chewbacca and Leia after Han took a tumble was curious. Five minutes later they're strapping Rey into the Falcon and just moving on? Felt cheap and wrong.
2) The acting from both Rey and Finn was really terrible. 3/4 of their scenes involved running toward the camera, sliding to a stop and making some sort of grimacing face.
3) I'm just not ready to accept the fact that either she or sweating boy could pick up a light sword and immediately go to battle against some supposedly deadly master of the force. All that was so inconsistent.
a) How did they know how to use the sword in the first place?
b) How could they match parry and thrust against somebody trained to use it
c) If whiny tempermental Jewish boy was such a Jedi badass that he could stop a laser bolt from a gun, why didn't he just throw a little force at the black kid, immobilize him and carve him up like a Christmas turkey?
d) Jedi can fly through the air. That silly ass gap in the ground from the explosion would be nothing to jump over
4) The new death star was too easily defeated. It was like a sidebar. Oh, hey, we been looking for this map to Luke but let's not forget we got to destroy a death star in here somewhere. And why do you stand around on the planet about to be destroyed and hope some kid who knows nothing can shut down some reactor or some shit? Dumb, dumb, dumb.
5) They land on a place THE SIZE OF A PLANET and immediately stumble on Rey. That's like me knowing that my pet rabbit was taken to China, taking a plane and immediately coming across the same pasture where my rabbit is hopping around. Yeah. No.
I could go on and on. Everybody was just so starved for a Star Wars that wasn't as shitty as the three prequels that we're ignoring massive, glaring flaws in this one. If this weren't a Star Wars movie chock full of sentimentality it would be getting much harsher reviews I think.
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a) How did they know how to use the sword in the first place?
b) How could they match parry and thrust against somebody trained to use it
c) If whiny tempermental Jewish boy was such a Jedi badass that he could stop a laser bolt from a gun, why didn't he just throw a little force at the black kid, immobilize him and carve him up like a Christmas turkey?
d) Jedi can fly through the air. That silly ass gap in the ground from the explosion would be nothing to jump over
Gotta agree with you on these. Thought the same thing at the time, I'll add that it was amazing with no training that Rey suddenly was a master of the force. BTW how did she know how to Jedi mind trick? She lived on the planet by herself, thought Jedi were just a myth, messes with Jewish Solo once and suddenly she knows how to Jedi Mind trick the guard.
and Daisy Ridley is hot so she gets an acting pass. I'd like to give her the tip of my saber...if you know what I mean....know what I mean!
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I could go on and on. Everybody was just so starved for a Star Wars that wasn't as shootty as the three prequels that we're ignoring massive, glaring flaws in this one. If this weren't a Star Wars movie chock full of sentimentality it would be getting much harsher reviews I think.
My general feelings after a second viewing as well.
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That's because you're a young buck. When the original came out, there had never been anything like it. It was one of those movies that blew everyone away. Now granted, I recall making my kid sit down several years ago to watch the first one, thinking he'd "get" what I was talking about. Even I thought it was pretty lame seeing it about 25 years later.
Not true he is the same age as I am and save for the original I was 6 months I have seen them all in the theatre. WDE!!! is just lame.
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c) If whiny tempermental Jewish boy was such a Jedi badass that he could stop a laser bolt from a gun, why didn't he just throw a little force at the black kid, immobilize him and carve him up like a Christmas turkey?
Or stop Chewie from shooting him.
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Kaos stuff I agree with
I will say one thing to defend Jewish Solo. He isn't a force badass. He thinks he is but his training is incomplete and shoddy at best.
He isn't aware of how to make a perfect lightsaber, which is why his was so loud and scraggly when compared to Luke's.
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Or stop Chewie from shooting him.
again this one I will say what I just said, he isn't aware of his surroundings and was surprised when Chewie shot him. I think if anything they made him appear to be too powerful at the beginning he isn't supposed to be a bad ass.
He is powerful when compared to other regular beings, but when force sensitive Rey encounters him she is able to overpower him fairly easily.
Then again this is all just the fanboi in me.
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again this one I will say what I just said, he isn't aware of his surroundings and was surprised when Chewie shot him. I think if anything they made him appear to be too powerful at the beginning he isn't supposed to be a bad ass.
He is powerful when compared to other regular beings, but when force sensitive Rey encounters him she is able to overpower him fairly easily.
Then again this is all just the fanboi in me.
He seemed pretty pussified.
Let me add this to the Jar Jar theory.
If that had been properly executed it had the potential to be awesome. But the character itself was poorly formed. It "looked" wrong. And then the essentially racist pattern of speech completely doomed it. There was no way to recover from the "meesa" shit. Whoever made that choice destroyed whatever chance the film had to keep the character.
Perhaps that was the plan. If so, it would have been a good one. In retrospect, the worst part of the Prequels wasn't really Jar Jar it was Hayden, Ewan, Liam, Natalie, Jake (the Jingle All the Way kid), Jimmy Smits and some of the worst acting and hokiest scripts ever seen. Hayden was particularly bad.
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In retrospect, the worst part of the Prequels wasn't really Jar Jar it was Hayden, Ewan, Liam, Natalie, Jake (the Jingle All the Way kid), Jimmy Smits and some of the worst acting and hokiest scripts ever seen. Hayden was particularly bad.
I thought Ewan McGregor was one of the bright spots. I would not mind seeing him reprise Obi-Wan for one of the Anthology films they are doing in the off years between the episode movies.
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I thought Ewan McGregor was one of the bright spots. I would not mind seeing him reprise Obi-Wan for one of the Anthology films they are doing in the off years between the episode movies.
Seemed pretty wooden, cheesy and not-fun to me. But it could have just been the awful cast around him.
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I don't remember sitting through 4,5 or 6. I watched 1 because of my little one at the time and thought it was stupid. I know who Luke, Vader, Hans Solo and Leia are...that's about it...
Han*.
1 is beyond a shadow of a doubt the worst pile of garbage in the Star Wars franchise, including the Ewok movies and the Holiday Special.
2 and 3 get slightly less bad, but not by much.
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I will say one thing to defend Jewish Solo. He isn't a force badass. He thinks he is but his training is incomplete and shoddy at best.
He isn't aware of how to make a perfect lightsaber, which is why his was so loud and scraggly when compared to Luke's.
huh...they make their own sabers with the force? Never knew that...
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2) The acting from both Rey and Finn was really terrible. 3/4 of their scenes involved running toward the camera, sliding to a stop and making some sort of grimacing face.
Disagree. Compared to the prequels they are fucking Sir Laurence Olivier. And if you try to shed the nostalgia, the original trilogy cast wasn't exactly Daniel Day Lewis. I think the performances here were great, especially by comparison.
3) I'm just not ready to accept the fact that either she or sweating boy could pick up a light sword and immediately go to battle against some supposedly deadly master of the force. All that was so inconsistent.
a) How did they know how to use the sword in the first place?
b) How could they match parry and thrust against somebody trained to use it
Gotta agree with you on these. Thought the same thing at the time, I'll add that it was amazing with no training that Rey suddenly was a master of the force. BTW how did she know how to Jedi mind trick? She lived on the planet by herself, thought Jedi were just a myth, messes with Jewish Solo once and suddenly she knows how to Jedi Mind trick the guard.
I'll lump these together. First of all, it was obvious that she had at least heard about the Force, Jedi's etc., but believed them to be myths. Han tells her "it's all true". After Maz Kanata shows her the lightsaber and then she has the "Force vision" like Luke had at Degoba, it's pretty clear she was getting a sense that shit was up. Furthermore, like I said, it's pretty obvious she's Luke's daughter, and maybe we find out the mother is also a Jedi, so maybe the force is even stronger in her than anyone we've seen before, allowing her to at least show some ability to use it without proper training.
Regardless of that, I fail to see how Luke's journey to the Force is super believable but Rey's is just completely implausible.
Before Luke met Yoda, he was already able to fight blindfolded against the drone thing, force pull a lightsaber in the wampa cave, communicate with a force ghost, hit an "impossible, even for a computer" target in the Death Star. Remember, Obi-wan didn't train him, he just told him about the Force. Pretty much just what Han did with Rey.
By comparison, Rey pulled together everything she had to do a mind trick on a stormtrooper after failing a few times first and kind-of-sort-of force pulled a lightsaber herself. I guess you could say she also resisted Kylo Ren's mind reading, and also was able to fend him off when he was injured and distracted. And like Brian said, clearly he's learning the ropes a bit himself.
And I assume "sweaty boy" is Finn? Clearly, he wasn't exactly great at wielding the lightsaber considering he got his ass handed to him. And Jedi aren't the only ones that can use lightsabers. Remember Han used one to slice open a tauntaun. And the four-armed robot General Grievous used lightsabers like a fucking Cirque du Soleil juggler in the prequels.
c) If whiny tempermental Jewish boy was such a Jedi badass that he could stop a laser bolt from a gun, why didn't he just throw a little force at the black kid, immobilize him and carve him up like a Christmas turkey?
d) Jedi can fly through the air. That silly ass gap in the ground from the explosion would be nothing to jump over
When have Jedi flown through the air? In the prequels I guess Yoda does some unnaturally high gymnastic jumping, but first of all, as we mentioned, the prequels are pretty much garbage, and secondly, it's not exactly self levitation.
5) They land on a place THE SIZE OF A PLANET and immediately stumble on Rey. That's like me knowing that my pet rabbit was taken to China, taking a plane and immediately coming across the same pasture where my rabbit is hopping around. Yeah. No.
Again, plenty of precedence for this in both the originals and prequels. How did Luke know where to find Yoda on the entire planet of Dagobah? In Phantom menace, Qui Gon and Obi Wan stow away on separate ships (for no explainable reason) to Naboo and they meet up in the same spot in the woods on the complete opposite side of the planet of the city Amagdala's in, which is why they went there in first place. Remember, they had to coincidentally stumble upon Jar Jar, who brought them underwater, and then they decided that the quickest way to the city would just be to swim through the core of the planet. By comparison to that bullshit, this is completely plausible.
I think, bottom line, you're watching this one with adult eyes and completely forgave all of this same exact type of shit in the originals.
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If you've never seen the Red Letter Media reviews of the prequels, I suggest you do so.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxKtZmQgxrI&feature=youtu.be&list=PL9A12F8F947849C30
This is series of videos and if you watch all of them for all three episodes, they add up to a lot of viewing time. I saw the running time and thought there was no way I'd watch them all, but then I couldn't stop watching, and I'm glad I did. Where before I just vaguely disliked the prequels, after watching this, I was able to recognize them as perhaps the biggest pieces of shit in all of big-budget Hollywood production history.
Also, it's told in-character by a deranged serial killer for some bonus lulz.
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If you've never seen the Red Letter Media reviews of the prequels, I suggest you do so.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxKtZmQgxrI&feature=youtu.be&list=PL9A12F8F947849C30
But when you watch that, aren't you doing the exact same thing you criticize others of doing, and that being "watching this one with adult eyes."
Look, I agree, the prequels really fail to live up to the standards set by the OT. But for all the shit we give them, Episode I wasn't a reboot of ANH. Lucas tried to tell an original story.
Go back and watch them in Machete Order. Makes AOTC and ROTS much better.
http://www.nomachetejuggling.com/2011/11/11/the-star-wars-saga-suggested-viewing-order/
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But when you watch that, aren't you doing the exact same thing you criticize others of doing, and that being "watching this one with adult eyes."
Look, I agree, the prequels really fail to live up to the standards set by the OT. But for all the shit we give them, Episode I wasn't a reboot of ANH. Lucas tried to tell an original story.
Go back and watch them in Machete Order. Makes AOTC and ROTS much better.
http://www.nomachetejuggling.com/2011/11/11/the-star-wars-saga-suggested-viewing-order/
I do agree with this. Made my wife watch the Machete order this summer as her first introduction (that she can remember) to the series. Works much better that way. Among other things, the Luke/Leia reveal is much more dramatic this way. It blew her mind.
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But when you watch that, aren't you doing the exact same thing you criticize others of doing, and that being "watching this one with adult eyes."
More on this. Frankly, no.
Watching through adult eyes, I realize the Star Wars movies are Star Wars movies. They are fiction in a fictitious universe. The coincidences, the use of the force, etc. in the new movie is comparable and follows the same rules as the original. As does the plot. The visual effects and performances naturally progressed from the originals making them, at face value, better movies with all other things being equal.
Contrarily, the prequels were steaming piles of AIDS infested feces. None of it made a single iota of sense. Every single action taken by every single character was illogical and/or made no sense. The characters were robotic and emotionless reciting terrible dialogue. The sets were terrible primitive CGI that instantly took you out of whatever was going on around them. And in a lot of ways, it contradicted the original trilogy. Midichlorians? GTFO. Every lightsaber battle we saw in the original trilogy was grounded in reality, which allowed you to emotionally invest in them. Now all of the sudden Yoda, who barely moved in the original trilogy, can backflip and spin around like a fuckin' Mexican jumping bean. Guess there's a huge difference in being 875 years old and being 900 years old for whatever species he is.
And for what it's worth, the Red Letter Media guys reviewed The Force Awakens and liked it, with the exception of the nerdiest of the trio who is too cool to like any of the Star Wars movies to begin with.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvsiJppCdmk
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And for what it's worth, the Red Letter Media guys reviewed The Force Awakens and liked it, with the exception of the nerdiest of the trio who is too cool to like any of the Star Wars movies to begin with.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvsiJppCdmk
Don't care who likes it, or who doesn't. The fact that two of three guys I've never heard of like a movie isn't germane to the situation.
(http://cdn.meme.am/instances/64745879.jpg)
Last thing I'll say about the PT, at the end of the day, they serve to not make TFA the worst Star Wars movie.
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Don't care who likes it, or who doesn't. The fact that two of three guys I've never heard of like a movie isn't germane to the situation.
They're the ones that made the video I posted that rip the prequels to shreds, which you said are unfairly "viewing them with adult eyes". Which I said some in this thread are saying about Episode 7.
I'm saying the comparison is inequitable. The complaints about The Force Awakens that have been raised here fit in perfectly with the original Star Wars universe and could also be said about them. The complaints about the prequels are that it is incoherent garbage with a farting Jamaican amphibian, impersonable CGI, and a nonsensical plot. It's not the same.
I'm saying I agree with those guy's opinions on both the prequels (trash) and Episode 7 (good, comparable sequel to Return of the Jedi).
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Kwick Kwerstion. Probably going to see this today. Is the 3D version worth wearing the goofy glasses for a couple of hours? I'd prefer not to. I will if it makes a significant difference.
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Kwick Kwerstion. Probably going to see this today. Is the 3D version worth wearing the goofy glasses for a couple of hours? I'd prefer not to. I will if it makes a significant difference.
Saw it both 2D and 3D and didn't think it was worth it.
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Saw it both 2D and 3D and didn't think it was worth it.
That's usually the case for me. Can't recall a time when I came out of a 3D flick raving about it. Except that one porno.
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That's usually the case for me. Can't recall a time when I came out of a 3D flick raving about it. Except that one porno.
Christmas Gangbang?
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Christmas Gangbang?
What a classic. I never thought I'd see the day they got Suddong Hussein and Woody Plow on the same set. And that scene where they had those 5 girls in elf costumes bent over the couch in front of the Christmas tree, and you see Hussein and Plow walking straight towards the camera...man, it was like two 20 foot cocks about to bludgeon you in the face. Best 3D mov......wait...I mean....yeah, Christmas Gangbang.
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Christmas Gangbang?
Slow here at work, I looked that title up. One was made in 2014. :facepalm:
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They're the ones that made the video I posted that rip the prequels to shreds, which you said are unfairly "viewing them with adult eyes". Which I said some in this thread are saying about Episode 7.
I'm saying the comparison is inequitable. The complaints about The Force Awakens that have been raised here fit in perfectly with the original Star Wars universe and could also be said about them. The complaints about the prequels are that it is incoherent garbage with a farting Jamaican amphibian, impersonable CGI, and a nonsensical plot. It's not the same.
I'm saying I agree with those guy's opinions on both the prequels (trash) and Episode 7 (good, comparable sequel to Return of the Jedi).
So I am safe to assume you two fucked it out over a cup of coffee and a scone?
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Slow here at work, I looked that title up. One was made in 2014. :facepalm:
Cheap re-make. The original is a classic.
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Cheap re-make. The original is a classic.
Don't want to see Santa (in black and white) doing. :haha:
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Simps take:
Took Simp Jr to see the movie in its 3D form. Both of us were glued till the end. Actually, I wanted at least 15 more mins. I thought it was great. I thoroughly enjoyed the new characters but I'm pissed Hans was killed off. Obviously there will be another with Luke back in action with his sidekick Jedi facing against the giant Gollam and his new Rin (sp?). Look forward to it. The mix of the new and old characters was nice.
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I'm pissed Hans was killed off.
(http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/26700000/Sexy-Eyebrow-hans-gruber-26774701-500-290.jpg)
Touching, Cowboy, touching. Or should I call you, Mr. McClane?
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Took Simp Jr to see the movie in its 3D form.
Which one?
That could be one of 7 people.
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Which one?
That could be one of 7 people.
The one that's actually mine, OOOH....wait, nm. :blink:
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This is the review from the guy that created Machete Order. This is exactly 100% how I felt and a great review of the movie.
I'm surprised people care what I think of the movie itself. I may publish a full review on another movie blog I run, but let me summarize with: it's fine. I think it's generally pretty forgettable like most of J.J. Abrams's movies, and I think like all his other movies, the more you think about what happens in it, the less sense it makes.
But I'm also reserving judgment until the other episodes are released. Lots of things that seem like huge coincidences or plot holes could easily be addressed and explained in subsequent films. It's certainly the best movie J.J. has ever made, and it's definitely better than the prequels, at the very least in terms of technicals.
Aesthetically and tonally, it's much more similar to the original trilogy than it is to the prequel trilogy, and I'd argue far closer to the originals than the prequels were themselves. It "feels like Star Wars" though I think a big part of that is that it leans so heavily on the original films that one could easily mount an argument that it's a soft reboot. I'm certainly not the first to point out how much it borrows from the prior films, and I think it's a legitimate criticism.
In a lot of ways, Episode VII is a highly cynical piece of marketed, productized material. For all their faults, you can tell that the prequel trilogy films existed because George Lucas had a story that he really wanted to tell. Episode VII didn't give me that feeling, it didn't come off like a movie that was dying to get out of the creative mind of an auteur. It felt like a product that had been assembled and expertly directed by a committee of very smart businesspeople. It was naked and transparent in its intentions and its methodologies, pulling the strings to elicit an almost impossible-to-avoid sense of joy in the audience.
None of this is to say it's bad - far from it. I, the puppet, was able to look up and see all of the strings attached to me, and notice as they were pulled and prodded. I rolled my eyes, knowing exactly what my puppet masters were doing and why. But it didn't change the fact that the puppet masters were successful in eliciting the desired movements from me. They forced me to feel joy, I was aware that it was being forced, but I felt it nonetheless.
I enjoyed the hell out of Episode VII and I consider it an extremely good but flawed movie, a quality "Star Wars Sequel" like Return of the Jedi, that manages to be a good franchise entry but not an "excellent film" on its own in the way that Empire Strikes Back and the original Star Wars are. Like Die Hard is a classic piece of near-perfect filmmaking, it belongs in the pantheon of great films for all time. Die Hard 3 is a really good Die Hard sequel, but it's not a timeless classic like Die Hard. Same deal for Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens - great entries in their franchises, but not Top 100 Films of all Time material.
In any case, I'm definitely looking forward to Episode VIII. I think the franchise is in good hands and, made-by-committee or not, there's a level of consistent quality that makes me confident in future installments. I hope that Episode VII got all of the placating fanservice out of the way and calmed everyone's fears about the upcoming slate of movies, so now they can focus on just telling interesting, original stories set in the Star Wars universe, and I think that's relatively likely (fingers crossed).
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Cosign.
https://www.facebook.com/notes/matty-granger/at-long-lastmy-star-wars-episode-vii-review-the-force-awakens-the-rise-of-idiot-/10153163095086277
AT LONG LAST…MY “STAR WARS: EPISODE VII†REVIEW. THE FORCE AWAKENS & THE RISE OF IDIOT JOURNALISM.
MATTY GRANGER·WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 6, 2016
Well, I've waited a few weeks to write my “Star Wars: The Force Awakens†review and finally, after multiple viewings and numerous vibrant discussions, I feel that I’m ready to give this movie the review it truly deserves.
I gave the film a ton of time to sink in. I analyzed the story structure and plot. I got to know the characters, both new and old, and came to understand the motivations and performances of the actors portraying them. I prepared myself to gush over the rollicking relationship between Poe Dameron and his new Stormtrooper pal, Finn, the brilliant puppeteering of BB-8 and the star-making performance of Daisy Ridley as the burgeoning Jedi known simply as Rey. I was ready to tell you about how much I adored the direction the filmmakers took with the legacy characters of Han, Leia and Luke while making Adam Driver’s Kylo Ren one of the most layered and interestingly flawed villains I’ve ever seen. I was excited to prognosticate over clues that were left in the film to set up the remainder of the series. Sure, the movie has its flaws. It’s a little heavy on the nostalgia and there are a few moments that are little too convenient for me, but there are a million other things I loved that quickly outweighed those problems. I’ve spent the last few weeks searching for precisely the right words to convey just how excited “The Force Awakens†has made me for the future of the franchise and planning how I would use those words to write a fair and balanced review.
But as I sit down to write that review…I simply can’t.
And here’s why…
The Huffington Post’s article, “40 Unforgivable Plot Holes in ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakensâ€.
Over the last few weeks I saw this article reposted over and over both by folks in the film industry and outside of it. The reposts often carried captions from Facebook users like “Yep!†or “This is exactly my problemâ€. Oh shit. Did I miss something? Maybe the Huffington Post and half of Facebook saw something I didn’t. I needed to know more. So I read the article. I read it numerous times. In the end, I came to my own conclusion…
The Huffington Post has no idea what the fuck it’s talking about.
I don’t know about the rest of you but I’ve grown exhausted with the horseshit, hater culture that online, millennial ‘journalists’ use to click-bait their way to some sort of self-perceived intellectual high ground. Hate first. Don’t bother asking questions later.
After all the thought and effort I put into prepping my review, the Huffington Post article had somehow stunted my ability to write about the new “Star Wars†movie. But I refused to be deterred. Thus, this article is not intended to review “The Force Awakensâ€. It’s intended to rip the head off the Huffington Post’s dumb-ass review and shit down its still-gasping esophagus.
Now, keep in mind I’m not a professional reviewer or even a journalist. I’m just a regular guy who has spent the better part of his life dedicated to studying story structure, plot, character, scene study and script development while working on twenty some-odd motion pictures over the last seventeen years. I might not be the guy to question the Huffington Post’s lofty review, but I’ll give it a shot.
So what are these “40 Unforgivable Plot Holes†and why is the Huffington Post ass-backward in their review? I blame it partly on the click-bait era. I also think that being a contrarian dick makes people feel intelligent. But those aren’t the reasons the review is horseshit. It’s horseshit because it really seems like the reviewer didn’t watch the movie at all.
Let’s take a look at these 40 “holes†and see just how hard I can plug them.
1. To blow up the 120-km "Death Star" in Star Wars, the rebels needed detailed plans for the base and a full-scale invasion force -- as well as the supernatural targeting skills of the most powerful Force-user in the galaxy.
Yes they did. And in the Force Awakens, the hastily thrown together plan formulated by the Resistance to possibly, maybe cripple the Starkiller Base…FUCKING FAILS. Poe Dameron and his squadron have pulled out and are actually leaving the planet when they see that the target they couldn’t even dent has been damaged from the inside. They then turn around and manage one last, desperate run. I don’t want to hit this too hard on the nose, but you would’ve noticed this had you actually watched the movie.
2. The wily Han Solo loses track of his most prized possession, the Millennium Falcon, for more than a dozen years. And yet, less than a minute after Rey begins piloting the Millennium Falcon, Han looks out the window of his freighter and says, "Oh, there it is."
Try finding your car after it’s been stolen. Try finding your kid’s bike once some asshole has swiped it. Try finding your virginity even if you know exactly where you lost it. This is an entire galaxy we’re talking about here, not the backseat of a ‘93 Ford Taurus.
Admittedly, I thought it was somewhat convenient that Han happened upon the ship, but he explains later that it wasn’t luck that he found the Falcon. It was found by his freighter’s scanners which conceivably could’ve been set to keep watch for it.
Also, I don’t want to speculate, but there’s a ton about Rey’s past and the denizens of Jakku in general that’s still going to be revealed in future films. Han may have even left the damn thing in the hands of Unkar Plutt in case he needed to use it to protect Rey. We just don’t know yet.
3. Kylo Ren, a powerful Force-user, fights a light saber duel with an ex-janitor who has never held a light saber.
Actually, the “ex-janitorâ€, Finn got his ass handed to him. He lasted about thirty seconds against Kylo Ren. Not only that, but he ended up sliced open and left for dead. What the fuck are you talking about?
But let’s entertain this dumb-ass statement a little more. First off, Finn was a Stormtrooper assigned to sanitation, much like other Stormtroopers would’ve been assigned to various departments around the base. Nowhere in this movie is it said that Finn was a janitor. Not once. And how does he hold his own in combat against Kylo Ren for as long as he does? I’d hazard a guess that Finn was trained in the same fashion as the badass, laser-baton wielding Stormtrooper he fights at Maz Kanata’s castle. Setting up the Stormtrooper skill-set is the whole point of showing that fight. Which incidentally, is actually the first time he holds a lightsaber, not when he fights Kylo. Learn why scenes are in movies, dude. It’ll help you not make embarrassing statements like this.
4. Rey becomes nearly as effective a Force-user in a few hours as Luke Skywalker did in a few years.
Yeah. Makes you wonder why doesn’t it? Kinda feels like we’re being set up for something in the future. I wonder if we’ll ever find out about her mysterious past and her mystical connection to the Force and Luke Skywalker? If you don’t understand that this is set-up for future films, then you should have your Netflix password taken away from you.
5. Just minutes before Starkiller Base explodes, Supreme Leader Snoke tells Hux to go get Kylo Ren and take him off the planet. Unfortunately, Ren had recently (unbeknownst to Hux) run into the woods like a lunatic, leaving no information about his whereabouts. It's no problem, though, because Hux apparently has special Kylo Ren GPS.
Or the powerful Force user Snoke closes his eyes for two seconds and tells Hux exactly where Kylo is. Unless of course that power is reserved for first-time Force users like Leia when trying to find her brother who’s hanging from a twig on the under-side of Cloud City. Don’t make me use the Original Trilogy against you, dude. That shit’s just wrong.
6. The reason Ren was slowly bleeding to death -- instead of being dead by Rey's hand -- is that a massive a chasm had just miraculously opened up in the several feet between the two of them. Such bad timing for Rey! (Damn you, deus-ex-geology!)
I’d call it more of a “Deus-ex-unstable-planet-collapsing- after-the-stored-power-of-a-sun-started-tearing-it-apart-from-the-inside-as-laid-out-by-the-plotâ€, but that’s just me. And as far as the awesome symbolism of a chasm forming between two people goes, I’d probably call it ‘a little on the nose’ before I called it a plot hole, especially considering that it was one of many chasms that opened during their fight that they managed to evade.
7. Rey, who has never left her home planet since she was a child, can speak Wookie.
She also speaks droid. How did she acquire these language skills? Might it have been part of her mysterious past as well? Dude. Come on. You’re making this too easy.
8. It's okay that Poe survived a Tie Fighter crash; after all, so did Finn.
Finn was miles away, strapped into an ejector seat with a spent parachute strewn out behind him. Poe stated he woke up that night and didn’t know where he was (probably strapped to ANOTHER EJECTOR SEAT). Here’s a hint when it comes to watching movies. Use the parts you know to fill in the parts you don’t know. That’s not a writing lesson. That’s a watching lesson.
9. What is all this nonsense about the First Order only wanting to destroy the Republic because the Republic is supporting the Resistance?
Only because of the Resistance? Hux SCREAMS a Hitler-like proclamation to his men that the galaxy’s systems will fall in line with the First Order after the corrupt Republic and it’s massive fleet are destroyed. Watch the movie, dude.
10. For that matter, why is it made to seem like the entire Republic is centered in just one star system?
Let me simplify this so you can understand a little better. There’s this place in The United States called Washington DC…
11. Kylo Ren is the head of the Knights of Ren, but there are no other Knights of Ren in the movie.
Except for the six guys you see in Rey’s vision. Idiot.
12. Captain Phasma is supposed to be a big-deal character in The Force Awakens.
Why? Because she looked awesome? Because she was in the trailer? If you can’t see that this badass bitch is going to be pursuing the shit out of FN-2187 for the next two movies, then you are in dire need of a lesson on ‘set-up’.
Also, I REALLY hate to do this, but I have to. Remember the ‘big deal’ that was Boba Fett? He was the most boring character in the entire Original Trilogy. Not only did he let Darth Vader do all his work for him, he was also little more than a glorified Fed-Ex guy delivering shit to Jabba the Hutt. He’s also the badass that was accidentally killed by a BLIND GUY standing two feet away and yelling his name. Big deal? Not a chance in hell. But none of that negates the fact that we all think he looks cool as fuck on a lunchbox. Next.
13. Really? Was there no previous order Finn had ever refused to execute?
The Jakku raid was his first mission. It’s in his dialogue. “In my first battle I made a choice. I wasn’t going to kill for themâ€. Prior to that he was standing around the sanitation department wondering when he was going to get his next pee break. What order was he going to refuse on moral grounds in the sanitation department? It’s getting tiresome to keep saying it, but watch the movie.
14. Finn is an ex-janitor who goes AWOL from a Stormtrooper force numbering in the tens of thousands. Yet he is absolutely convinced, despite being someone of no importance whatsoever to the First Order, that he will be chased across the galaxy for having defected.
And breaking a high-value prisoner out of the brig. And stealing a Tie Fighter. And blowing up a few dozen guys. And shooting up the landing bay of a Star Destroyer. Not to mention helping return the droid the First Order is scouring the galaxy for to the Resistance. All things considered, I think he has a pretty good reason to believe what he does. Also, he’s not a janitor. Just thought I’d remind you. Again.
15. Let's be clear: Han's son joins the First Order, and Luke's attempts to train new Jedis goes horribly wrong, and both men respond to these setbacks by, well, abandoning the Resistance to be utterly slaughtered by the First Order.
Aside from this article, have you ever failed horribly? I don’t mean something trivial. I mean something like…I don’t know…being responsible for turning your nephew into a mass murderer. How about being the shitty father that completely failed his mass murderering son? I imagine those type of things could leave a psychological scar or two. To make it worse, that’s just what we currently know. We have no idea of the full scope of what happened to these men yet.
16. By the end of the movie, the impression is left that every single First Order soldier is dead besides Supreme Leader Snoke, General Hux, and Kylo Ren.
It is? Where is Snoke broadcasting his Hologram from? Could there not be more First Order there? Legions of them even? I mean, A New Hope left no impression that there was anyone left after the Death Star took it in the chute but there was most certainly a hell of a lot more of them out there.
For argument’s sake, let’s say the First Order HAS been obliterated along with the Republic. How badass is it that the coming films could be centred on these small groups of individuals as other forces of both good and evil, rise up in the Galaxy? Get your head out of your ass and realize how much this could open up from a storytelling point of view.
17. Why does General Hux need to gather all of his troops just to tell them he's about to press a button and destroy the entire Republic?
Aside from the fact that the answer to this is actually in the question itself, did you not listen to Hux’ speech? The dude announces to his zealot legion that the weapon THEY BUILT TOGETHER is about to fire for the FIRST TIME and wipe out the ENTIRE REPUBLIC. He basically blows everyone there for taking part in this glorious moment. He’s rallying his men around a common cause.
Again, let me simplify this.
You know when you go to your shitty office party and the boss you’ve never spoken to stands up and toasts all the attendees for the great year, then talks about how next year is going to be even better because of all your hard work and then concludes his speech with a shitty slide-show of the company’s accomplishments? It’s that, but with a giant planet-smashing super laser.
18. How pissy is it of Luke to (a) abandon the Resistance, and then (b) leave an obnoxiously coy trail of bread-crumbs to sort of (but not really) help people find him (at some unspecified time)?
We don’t know why Luke abandoned the Resistance. Perhaps his presence would be a danger to them. Remember when he said he was ‘endangering the mission’ to Endor? Same thing. Or maybe he’s a shattered man. Maybe he’s wounded. Maybe he is using the force to allow himself to be found by the right person at the right time. Maybe there’s a whole pile of shit we don’t know yet. There isn’t even a trail of breadcrumbs. There’s a missing piece of map that has clearly been hidden away deliberately. This isn’t a plot hole. If anything it leaves some very compelling questions.
19. Why wasn't the Resistance able to access R2D2's data archives at any point over the course of the many years Luke was gone?
I’m not an expert in droid memory systems, but when the most powerful Jedi in the Galaxy tells his fiercely loyal droid to code and hide something, I’m pretty sure it gets coded, broken up and hidden in places that programmers can’t find. Then again, maybe the Huffington Post dude knows something about droid memory systems that I don’t.
20. When the Resistance finally figures out where Luke is, after looking for him for many years, why do they send only Chewbacca and a random girl who Leia just met to collect him?
Let’s just get this straight for a second. It’s not said aloud in the movie, but it’s pretty obvious that Han, Leia and very probably Luke know exactly who Rey is. There’s a connection there. A mysterious one. One that we are now DYING to uncover. Sometimes when you write a movie, there are things that happen between scenes that never see the page. Was there a message from Luke in R2? Possibly. Had Leia been left with instructions for what to do if Rey ever showed up? Possibly. Again, this is all for the sequels and the eventual reveal of who Rey is.
21. Kylo Ren has such a Force-enabled sense of where his father is in the Galaxy that when his father lands on Starkiller Base, Ren immediately exclaims to himself, "Solo!" Yet a few minutes later, when Ren is just twenty feet from Solo, he can't detect him -- and actually starts searching for him in the wrong direction.
Hold on a second. If you were watching the movie, you’d have seen that Kylo Ren marches into that giant room with eight Stormtroopers, looks around with the force and says, “Find themâ€. He knows good and goddamn well that Solo is in there and like a good villain, he leads Han onto that bridge to trap him out in the open, alone and defenseless. If you can’t see that, I don’t know what to tell you.
22. How lame is Han's attempt to convert his son?
What? By talking like a dad? By offering him anything he needed, including his life, in one of the most awesome, double-edged scenes of the entire series? Yeah. Pretty lame.
23. Why do Rey and Finn just stand by watching as Ren murders Han?
You mean like the way Luke watched Ben Kenobi get sliced in half from just a few feet away, let alone several hundred? No idea.
24. Rey says that the Millennium Falcon is "garbage" and hasn't been flown in many, many years. Indeed, it's such junk, in her view, that she won't even board it when she's about to be ripped to pieces by twenty Tie Fighters. Then she gets on board and it basically flies perfectly.
First off, it was two TIE Fighters not twenty. But let’s look at this a little more closely. There’s clearly evidence that Han knows who Rey is. There’s also evidence that he knows who Unkar Plutt is. We also know that Rey is left on Jakku in the care of…Unkar Plutt. We also know that Luke knows who she is. From all this we could surmise that at some point in the past there was conspiracy to hide Rey on Jakku that possibly included Han, Leia, Luke and Unkar Plutt. There is a lot more to that ship being there than we know.
If you really want to say that Falcon starts on the first turn of the key and flies perfectly, you must not have been watching when thing crashed and smashed its way into the air, stalled out, had its belly gun lock up, malfunctioned to a point where it was in danger of spewing poison gas or the fact that Rey had to yank parts out of it with alarms blaring all over the place just to keep the hyperdrive from overloading. Yeah. Ran like a champ.
25. Why does Plutt offer Rey 250 times her usual pay for BB-8 and then, when she says "no," simply tell some of his heavies to just steal it?
We don’t know Unkar Plutt’s connection yet. I assure you there is one. A big one. He has likely been given the task to keep her on the planet at all costs, yet make sure she’s able to survive. When he sees her with the droid, he sees the threat and must act. His first move is to give her more food than she has ever had. When that fails, he resorts to sending in the goons. We are not done with Unkar Plutt.
26. Maz Kanata is a friend to the Resistance. So why is she hiding Luke's light saber from them?
We don’t know why she has it. She too may have been instructed to hold onto it. As she puts it, it’s a ‘good question for another time’. Don’t lose your marbles over it quite yet.
27. How did Kylo Ren manage to get Darth Vader's mask into his little fetish den?
It doesn’t matter. I can think of a million ways it fell into his possession, as I’m sure anyone could. The answer will probably end up being in a comic book about some Stormtrooper on Endor. Quit being so picky. Make something up in your head if it’s bothering you that much because it really doesn’t matter.
28. How does Finn find Rey's settlement?
He happened upon it. He didn’t know where he was or where he was going. Watch some westerns. People have been happening upon plot points in the desert since “The Good, The Bad and The Uglyâ€.
29. Who trained Rey to fight with a staff as effectively as she does, given that (a) she is an orphan with no friends or family, and (b) she has never been in a battle, but is, rather, merely a scrap-metal scavenger?
Dude. Wander down to the poorest part of whatever town you’re in and pick a fight with a mangy little mutt of a guy. The smaller the better. Once you’re out of the hospital, you’ll realize that people who are forced to survive in the harshest environments don’t train to fight. They learn the hard way and they get really, really good at it.
30. If Finn is such a good guy that he would try to save Rey the moment he saw she was in distress?
Actually, he ran right over to her, but by the time he got there, she had handed the thugs their asses. What movie were you watching? Nice phrasing on the question, by the way.
31. Given that all Poe knows about Finn is that he's a First Order defector, why does he seem happy to see Finn just seconds after (and perhaps as) BB-8 tells him Finn is alive?
I don’t know. Maybe Finn saved his life and completed his mission for him? I’d be sorta stoked to see the guy too.
32. Kylo Ren takes his mask off pretty readily, and in pretty mixed company, for someone determined to wear super uncomfortable headgear perpetually.
He takes it off twice. Once to show Rey he doesn’t need the mask to scare her and once to show his face to his father as he fights against the call to the light. This is the dumbest-fuck comment of all these dumb-fuck comments.
33. Why does Kylo Ren assign just a single Stormtrooper to guard Rey, the most valuable prisoner in the history of the First Order?
I can’t imagine that an eighteen-year-old girl bolted to a chair would need much more than one badass Stormtrooper who, under his armour is built like Daniel Craig, to keep a bead on her. Why is this a plot hole?
34. How do the Rathtars on Han's freighter get loose?
Rey in an attempt to throw some fuses to close the doors between Han and the two gangs, hits the wrong fuse and instead opens the Rathar cages. She even has dialogue about it. WATCH THE FUCKING MOVIE!
35. Why do the Rathtars immediately kill every human they encounter -- except Finn, who is randomly dragged off just long enough to be rescued?
A Rathar dragged off another guy just before Finn was dragged away. I guess you were too busy not watching the movie to notice.
36. Why are all Stormtroopers human?
I only saw FN-2187 out of uniform so I can’t assume that all of them are. I don’t know what version you saw where they all take their helmets off, but I must’ve missed it. If you really want to get into old school Star Wars lore, the Emperor was actually a cosmic racist and only wanted humans in his ranks.
37. If basically everyone in the Galaxy knows the Force is not a myth -- for instance, every single Stormtrooper in the First Order, who has seen Kylo Ren use it or heard tell of him using it; every single person in the Resistance, who knows the Resistance is looking for Luke Skywalker; every single person in the Republic, which was first established in part by the heroism of the Jedis -- how is the existence of the Force a total shock to Rey?
What the fuck are you talking about? The second she hears the name Luke Skywalker she lights up like a Christmas tree. All Han does is confirm that the stories that have trickled down to this completely uneducated girl, who lives alone on a planet inhabited by thirty people, are absolutely true.
38. Is Supreme Leader Snoke actually a giant?
Seriously? Is this really a question? Is this what you asked the first time you saw the thirty foot tall Emperor in The Empire Strikes Back? Let me fill you in on something. There was this little movie called The Wizard of Oz. The great and powerful, thirty-foot-tall Wizard was actually a little tiny man behind a curtain. Do you think that these bad guys might all be drawing from the same archetype? Don’t be so stupid.
39. Why would the First Order spend untold quadrillions of [insert unit of money here] to build the Starkiller Base, when a similar concept and design plan had twice before been destroyed with minimal difficulty by the rebels?
Because they’re arrogant little shits trying to do better than their predecessors. They probably sat around going “You know, that Death Star was a great idea, but man it had some flaws. You know what we should do? Put that giant, fucking gun in a planet that you can’ t blow up with a couple torpedoes.†Expanding upon the ideas of the past. Remember the cold war? When the bombs just kept getting bigger and bigger and we had enough nukes to obliterate the planet a hundred times over? It’s the same thing.
40. Is there any other film franchise in the history of cinema that would be permitted, by its fans and by critics, to recycle so many plot points?
There are most certainly many, many structural familiarities between this film and the films of the original trilogy. I’m not going to argue with that. Quite the contrary actually. This mirroring of Episode IV has been done on purpose. I’d like to offer you an education through one of the most brilliant essays ever written on the structure of Star Wars and the circular imagery inherent in the first six films. The Star Wars Ring Theory.
http://www.starwarsringtheory.com/
Last year I spoke to the author of the essay, a helluva gent named Mike Klimo. We discussed ring composition and I asked that if his theory is correct, how should it affect the storyline of Episode 7. His answer, without hesitation, was that Episode 7 would be a direct reflection of Episode 4. And he was absolutely correct. Sadly, it appears that this brilliant, classical writing technique has been dismissed by The Huffington Post’s online reviewer as little more than an old, recycled plot.
As some of you may be able to see, the ‘plot holes’ outlined in the Huffington Post‘s article are not plot holes at all. They’re simply things to which the reviewer willingly turned a blind eye due to the fact that he went in with a prepossessed notion of what he was going to write. His notion was so strong in fact, that he was able to completely overlook clear and obvious parts of the movie in order to back up the ‘facts’ of his dumb-shit, preconceived article.
That’s not journalism. It’s internet horseshit.
We are very close to reaching the end of social media’s usefulness. Anyone with a keyboard can write anything they want with little to no training or skill. More often than not, the articles don’t even need to be true or have any sort of back up research and sadly all it takes is a bold, contrarian statement to convince people who aren’t interested in doing research for themselves that something wildly incorrect is truth. This extends from simple movie reviews to horrifying humanitarian crises. Actual news has become a rare commodity and we are little more than targets for advertising and electoral votes. We are being fed stupid disinformation and tricked into thinking we have knowledge that we don’t actually have.
We have willingly grown stupid.
In the end, I had to look up who the twenty-something, hate-filled, millennial troll who wrote the Huffington Post article actually was. I imagined some smug, little bearded shit with horn-rimmed glasses and that typical douchebag air of millennial entitlement. At least then I could chalk it up to youth. However, what I found made this all the more disturbing. He isn’t a millennial at all.
The forty year old writer, Seth Abramson, is an Assistant Professor of English at the University of New Hampshire and a graduate of Harvard Law School. What a shame. I guess when you’re hired to write click-bait articles for horseshit news-sites, your education comes after your pay-check and you do what you’re paid to do.
Nice work Seth.
Wake me up when the war against fun is over.
M
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Wake me up when the war against fun is over.
That's where I'm at.
I used to be a cynical shit always looking out for snobby greatness while putting down "simplistic" films like comic book movies.
Maybe it's me getting older or maybe it's having a kid, but I just want fun. I want a good solid story with some interesting characters. Few plot holes? Few questions? Who gives a shit.
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That's where I'm at.
I used to be a cynical shit always looking out for snobby greatness while putting down "simplistic" films like comic book movies.
Maybe it's me getting older or maybe it's having a kid, but I just want fun. I want a good solid story with some interesting characters. Few plot holes? Few questions? Who gives a shit.
What this guy said... about movies/tv in general. I do appreciate the masterpieces like Godfather, Sopranos, Breaking Bad, Rocky, Seinfeld, Jaws, Ben Hur, etc etc. But if they are not perfect? Make the best of em. They can't all be locked tight and brilliant.
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What this guy said... about movies/tv in general. I do appreciate the masterpieces like Godfather, Sopranos, Breaking Bad, Rocky, Seinfeld, Jaws, Ben Hur, etc etc. But if they are not perfect? Make the best of em. They can't all be locked tight and brilliant.
It's called settling.
Movies don't have to be perfect, but they shouldn't be insulting either.
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It's called settling.
Movies don't have to be perfect, but they shouldn't be insulting either.
To hear some people tell it though, 99% of all movies fall into that category (insulting). Which just isnt true. Most are just average. They are what they are, flaws and all. I think people just expect too much.
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What this guy said... about movies/tv in general. I do appreciate the masterpieces like Godfather, Sopranos, Breaking Bad, Rocky, Seinfeld, Jaws, Ben Hur, etc etc. But if they are not perfect? Make the best of em. They can't all be locked tight and brilliant.
This is where I am at too. Like THS said, sometimes, its just best to relax and watch a damn movie of interest. I took my 6 yr to see as he was just as excited about seeing the movie as I was. We both watched with intrigue the whole time and excited to see the next one.
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To hear some people tell it though, 99% of all movies fall into that category (insulting). Which just isnt true. Most are just average. They are what they are, flaws and all. I think people just expect too much.
I go to be entertained, not Shakespeared!
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I go to be entertained, not Shakespeared!
(http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/615/060/058.jpg)
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To bat or not to bat?
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To hear some people tell it though, 99% of all movies fall into that category (insulting). Which just isnt true. Most are just average. They are what they are, flaws and all. I think people just expect too much.
True of movies and Auburn football. :thumsup:
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Finally saw it. Just got back. No deep analysis. No comment on character development. I'll just say that was some back to the roots, kick ass, Star Wars shit. Money and time well spent. :thumsup:
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So now that we all know Ptincess Leia is dead. What y'all think?
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So now that we all know Ptincess Leia is dead. What y'all think?
That was a man....man