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Pat Dye Field => War Damn Eagle => Topic started by: Townhallsavoy on September 15, 2012, 12:35:20 PM

Title: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Townhallsavoy on September 15, 2012, 12:35:20 PM
Our football team.  :haha:
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Townhallsavoy on September 15, 2012, 12:47:05 PM
Offense looked good.  Frazier's still a little shaky but i think our athletes will run away with this one.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Six on September 15, 2012, 12:48:40 PM
Light in the loafers this linebacker seems
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: AUChizad on September 15, 2012, 12:54:45 PM
Frazier is looking better so far, thank Christ. Granted, it's ULM.

Maybe there's hope for him to develop into a serviceable QB after all?
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: AUChizad on September 15, 2012, 12:55:37 PM
Aaaaand the 50 yard TD bomb negated due to an illegal formation...
 :facepalm:
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Six on September 15, 2012, 12:56:11 PM
Then the slow motion duck over the line is swatted to the turf.

The they preview the Bham bowl.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 12:57:19 PM
Light in the loafers this linebacker seems
Eh the Staches boy has quite a mane on him as well (at least by his photos) Guess it was a package deal.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Six on September 15, 2012, 12:58:42 PM
Eh the Staches boy has quite a mane on him as well (at least by his photos) Guess it was a package deal.

 :stache: = porn star look.

JH5 = get pounded for being a prankster look
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 01:01:06 PM
:stache: = porn star look.

JH5 = get pounded for being a prankster look
Here's to not looking like pathetic losers.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Six on September 15, 2012, 01:03:07 PM
UL-M has two quarterbacks that can play and we have maybe one?  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: RWS on September 15, 2012, 01:05:23 PM
I thought you guys were bullshitting about Holland. At least a little. In 5 snaps, I saw a RB run right past him, saw him getting pushed around by OLs that are getting to the second level, and looking generally confused as fuck about what he's supposed to be doing. And if he's truly 241 lbs, then I'll see you guys in Bryant Denny in November.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Townhallsavoy on September 15, 2012, 01:06:48 PM
I thought you guys were bullshitting about Holland. At least a little. In 5 snaps, I saw a RB run right past him, and saw him getting pushed around by OLs that are getting to the second level, and looking generally confused as fuck about what he's supposed to be doing.
. Worst linebacker Live ever seen.  He has to be miserable out there.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Token on September 15, 2012, 01:08:16 PM
. Worst linebacker Live ever seen.  He has to be miserable out there.

Kidding aside, if they took the assignments off him I wonder if he could do better.  He looks lost before the snap, trying to figure out wtf is going on.  I feel bad for him.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 01:09:15 PM
I thought you guys were bullshitting about Holland. At least a little. In 5 snaps, I saw a RB run right past him, saw him getting pushed around by OLs that are getting to the second level, and looking generally confused as fuck about what he's supposed to be doing.
He's in about 30% of the plays and non-existent in the others.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 01:11:31 PM
Kidding aside, if they took the assignments off him I wonder if he could do better.  He looks lost before the snap, trying to figure out wtf is going on.  I feel bad for him.
Me too Token. but apparently no one else possesses communication skills.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour/ULM Game Thread
Post by: The Six on September 15, 2012, 01:12:33 PM
Well the D Line seems to be playing hard today. That's something positive.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Townhallsavoy on September 15, 2012, 01:12:56 PM
Kidding aside, if they took the assignments off him I wonder if he could do better.  He looks lost before the snap, trying to figure out wtf is going on.  I feel bad for him.
I don't think anyone is kidding.  I know I'm not.  Assignments aren't the reason why he's getting tossed around.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Six on September 15, 2012, 01:13:34 PM
 :stache: just lit Holland up like a Chesterfield
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: AUChizad on September 15, 2012, 01:14:09 PM
 :stache: getting in Jake's ass right now.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: RWS on September 15, 2012, 01:15:20 PM
He has to be miserable out there.
Has to be. I wonder if he would do any better as a pass rush specialist on the outside or something? He is an athletic guy and I think there could be some use for him somewhere. I just don't think he has it between the ears to be the mike.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: AUChizad on September 15, 2012, 01:15:36 PM
UL-M has two quarterbacks that can play and we have maybe one?  :facepalm:
Yeah...a tied ballgame halfway through the second quarter against the 2nd string QB on a team we're paying to play us does not inspire confidence.

FML.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Six on September 15, 2012, 01:17:32 PM
Yeah...a tied ballgame halfway through the second quarter against the 2nd string QB on a team we're paying to play us does not inspire confidence.

FML.

That's like paying for a hooker and watching her undress then she kicks u in the nuts and fingers herself while counting the dough.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 01:18:31 PM
Fuck dude. Get a handle on that temper...my locks depend on a tranquil environment and you're stressing them out.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Six on September 15, 2012, 01:20:51 PM
Va Tech is currently bending over for Pitt to the tune of 21-3 in the 2nd.

So, it could be worse.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: AUChizad on September 15, 2012, 01:21:05 PM
That's like paying for a hooker and watching her undress then she kicks u in the nuts and fingers herself while counting the dough.
Your posts are like Frazier's game today.

Still a little shaky, but showing encouraging signs of improvement.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: RWS on September 15, 2012, 01:22:33 PM
Va Tech is currently bending over for Pitt to the tune of 21-3 in the 2nd.

So, it could be worse.
MotherFUCKER. At least I only put 4 on them in BftC.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: RWS on September 15, 2012, 01:24:15 PM
That ULM DB must have taken his Jake Holland pills today. It took him about 8 yards to realize Blake had lost him.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: AUChizad on September 15, 2012, 01:26:01 PM
That pass would have been an INT to a half decent team.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Townhallsavoy on September 15, 2012, 01:27:49 PM
While Frazier doesn't look as bad, our offense still looks like they are lost. 
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Six on September 15, 2012, 01:29:10 PM
Good night nurse...that catch.  :facepalm:

This like that day over Macho Grande
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Townhallsavoy on September 15, 2012, 01:30:35 PM
Holland just whiffed against a guy running between the tackles.  How does a MLB do that?
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Six on September 15, 2012, 01:31:01 PM
The Whitest QB ever just toasted the defense

 :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: AUChizad on September 15, 2012, 01:32:11 PM
Defense is gawd awful.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Townhallsavoy on September 15, 2012, 01:35:16 PM
Defense is gawd awful.  :facepalm:
We'd just be awful without holland.  He brings god into it.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Six on September 15, 2012, 01:36:18 PM
We'd just be awful without holland.  He brings god into it.

As in (un)holy shit these guys are bad.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: RWS on September 15, 2012, 01:37:31 PM
Sorry guys, but bullshit penalty. Frazier is just as responsible for that his as anybody for rainbowing that one to Lutz.

You guys need to give Bray a look at QB. I'm pretty sure that Frazier wouldn't be able to make that throw 9/10 times.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Six on September 15, 2012, 01:37:42 PM
Quan Bray for QB!
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 01:38:19 PM
Pathetic call on the db
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Come Honor Face on September 15, 2012, 01:39:16 PM
Quan Bray for QB!

best pass ever. I was thinking the same thing.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 01:44:17 PM
best pass ever. I was thinking the same thing.
We start about 3 or 4  former hs QBs on both sides of the ball.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: AUChizad on September 15, 2012, 01:44:25 PM
best pass ever. I was thinking the same thing.
Definitely will be a fan push for them to swap positions.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 01:46:07 PM
Definitely will be a fan push for them to swap positions.
Oh Jeez!

Introducing Mr. Coates
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Six on September 15, 2012, 01:48:25 PM
Sammy Coates...player
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: AUChizad on September 15, 2012, 01:49:03 PM
That ULM defender's name is Aero Smith?

...

Holy shit what a bomb! Almost a sack instead.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Six on September 15, 2012, 01:53:32 PM
So, it took a trick play and a Hail Mary to get a lead against ULM?
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Townhallsavoy on September 15, 2012, 01:56:46 PM
So, it took a trick play and a Hail Mary to get a lead against ULM?

Exactly.  Fun for today, but nothing to celebrate for the armchair quarterback. 

We're struggling BAD on offense.  Frazier has been a hair away from some serious mistakes, and he still looks like a ballerina prancing around the backfield if his first option isn't available. 

I really don't think the defense would be so bad if we had a decent middle linebacker.  Watching Holland get his shit kicked in every play makes me question why I wasn't allowed to suit up for the 2003-2006 Auburn Tigers and receive a full scholarship. 
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: RWS on September 15, 2012, 02:02:40 PM
I think AU should just keep pounding the ball, and give a heavy dose of Prosch. Give Frazier a high percentage pass here and there. Even if ULM knows the run is coming, I don't think they are going to out-physical AU. They may have beaten a heavily wounded Arky (even though they were down 21 points), but they're still ULM. I don't think that they can keep this pace up for another 2 quarters. Let Frazier get out of this game on a high note and continue to let that confidence build.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 02:14:22 PM
I think AU should just keep pounding the ball, and give a heavy dose of Prosch. Give Frazier a high percentage pass here and there. Even if ULM knows the run is coming, I don't think they are going to out-physical AU. They may have beaten a heavily wounded Arky (even though they were down 21 points), but they're still ULM. I don't think that they can keep this pace up for another 2 quarters. Let Frazier get out of this game on a high note and continue to let that confidence build.
Maybe but Frazier shows some mustard at times and their weakness seems to be off tackle.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Six on September 15, 2012, 02:16:33 PM
Good drive for points to start second half.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: RWS on September 15, 2012, 02:18:21 PM
Maybe but Frazier shows some mustard at times and their weakness seems to be off tackle.
Mason and McCalebb are gashing them for about 5 yards a carry right now. Frazier is still throwing like shit. Even when he's making completions, it's taking a good effort by the receivers to find the ball and make the completion. ULM can't go toe to toe with yalls running game for 30 more minutes.

Grind it out, run the clock down, and get the fuck out of there with a win. It might not be as pretty as everybody wants it to be, but.....
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 02:22:01 PM
It appears Kiehl struggles with touch passes as opposed to just airing it out with which he has little trouble. I can see him becoming a winner for us eventually with all the parts in place and an o-line progressing.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 02:25:12 PM
Mason and McCalebb are gashing them for about 5 yards a carry right now. Frazier is still throwing like shit. Even when he's making completions, it's taking a good effort by the receivers to find the ball and make the completion. ULM can't go toe to toe with yalls running game for 30 more minutes.

Grind it out, run the clock down, and get the fuck out of there with a win. It might not be as pretty as everybody wants it to be, but.....
Fuck no bammer. Loeffler sees what I just stated. We are killing them off tackle but Frazier has a live arm...just lacks a deft touch. Keep calling it just as you are coach. Give the kid the keys.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 02:29:09 PM
We have a 4 man front on 3rd and inches??????????????????????????????????????????????????
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 02:31:05 PM
Now pound it!
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 02:38:29 PM
Now pound it!
Fuck this shit, you guys go mute when we start ballin', fumble or no. You have to admit the confidence is getting there.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Townhallsavoy on September 15, 2012, 02:39:04 PM
Lots of talent.  Just undisciplined.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Townhallsavoy on September 15, 2012, 02:39:57 PM
Fuck this shit, you guys go mute when we start ballin', fumble or no. You have to admit the confidence is getting there.
La Monroe doesn't excite me when we have so many issues.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 02:42:55 PM
La Monroe doesn't excite me when we have so many issues.
Cupcakes never do. That's why they are considered cupcakes. But they are all short stuff in response. We just have to contain on defense. Too many breakdowns.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 02:47:05 PM
Lots of talent.  Just undisciplined.
Hell yeah, the Stache has three years worth of de-Roofing to overcome. DL is steadying some and the DBs are inconsistent but there is pursuit (2 men) on the swing passes and FL screens.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Six on September 15, 2012, 02:55:16 PM
It has looked better today. Still a long way to go but some nice plays in thus effort so far.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 02:59:50 PM
It has looked better today. Still a long way to go but some nice plays in thus effort so far.
Browning might throw some darts but he ain't got nothing beyond the 20 yard range that shouldn't get broken up. We are healing somewhat. Long way to go but there are positive signs.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 03:01:07 PM
BOOM.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 03:03:07 PM
BOOM.
War Eagle friend. We getting there, baby steps but it's better.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Six on September 15, 2012, 03:05:12 PM
Frazier has all day and throws it to the defense...still.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 03:05:29 PM
War Eagle friend. We getting there, baby steps but it's better.

Or not.

Dammit.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: RWS on September 15, 2012, 03:06:33 PM
Frazier does SO well when they let him air it out.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 03:06:54 PM
Okay he locked in ...but who among us hasn't fallen victim to the same?
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: AUChizad on September 15, 2012, 03:07:14 PM
Frazier has all day and throws it to the defense...still.  :facepalm:
Fuck me. The color guy pointed out how wide-assed open Blake was, yet he threw it right between a defender's numbers...
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 03:07:58 PM
Fuck me. The color guy pointed out how wide-assed open Blake was, yet he threw it right between a defender's numbers...

The color guy is Heisman trophy winning NFL bust Andre Ware.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 03:08:59 PM
Frazier does SO well when they let him air it out.
Yeah that sucked but he is ...well he's ours. God that WAS bad.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 03:09:32 PM
Holland is a fuck stick.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 03:12:13 PM
The color guy is Heisman trophy winning NFL bust Andre Ware.
Lots of college stats that Ware.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 03:13:41 PM
Holland is a fuck stick.
Yeah but his MLB hair is impenetrable.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Townhallsavoy on September 15, 2012, 03:15:09 PM
Fuck this.  I hope we lose. 
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Six on September 15, 2012, 03:17:24 PM
fudge this.  I hope we lose.

We won't but it will feel like it.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 03:17:44 PM
Fuck this.  I hope we lose.

Six minutes to go and we have to hold on to beat ULaMo.

And I am worried.

 :facepalm:
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Six on September 15, 2012, 03:18:47 PM
Six minutes to go and we have to hold on to beat ULaMo.

And I am worried.

 :facepalm:

Does LSU even need their starters for the whole game?
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 03:19:42 PM
Does LSU even need their starters for the whole game?

Doubt they even bring them.  Save gas money.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 03:21:14 PM
Doubt they even bring them.  Save gas money.
Which is why we are their ULM. It happens!
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Townhallsavoy on September 15, 2012, 03:21:50 PM
Six minutes to go and we have to hold on to beat ULaMo.

And I am worried.

 :facepalm:
And you shoul be worried.  This type of buffoonery doesn't happen at top programs.  We weren't this bad in 2008.  We weren't this bad last year.  Bama wasn't this bad hammered by the NCAA.  This is pa-fucking-thetic.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 03:24:16 PM
And you shoul be worried.  This type of buffoonery doesn't happen at top programs.  We weren't this bad in 2008.  We weren't this bad last year.  Nama wasn't this bad hammered by the NCAA.  This is pa-fucking-thetic.
Yes it is but I've seen far-patheticer football out of Auburn over the years and it will get better.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Townhallsavoy on September 15, 2012, 03:26:13 PM
Yes it is but I've seen far-patheticer football out of Auburn over the years and it will get better.
When?
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 03:26:41 PM
Yes it is but I've seen far-patheticer football out of Auburn over the years and it will get better.

Please share whatever you are smoking. 
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Townhallsavoy on September 15, 2012, 03:32:53 PM
Highest paid staff in college football.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 03:33:25 PM
When?
Shug in the waning years, BARFIELD/ pre-Dye, Dye under the gun, baby bowden after his first year and Tubs at various junctures.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: RWS on September 15, 2012, 03:33:48 PM
That is an interception 99% of the time.

What. The. Fuck.

I put 10 points on you assholes in BftC. Don't fuck me over.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 03:34:52 PM
Please share whatever you are smoking.
I'm actually drinkin dear but I share wit u.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 03:36:05 PM
I'm actually drinkin dear but I share wit u.

Lighter fluid???
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 03:37:40 PM
Sick sick sick.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: AUChizad on September 15, 2012, 03:38:20 PM
So, will the ULM coach be available next year?
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 03:38:59 PM
Lighter fluid???
Naptha but good guess.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 03:39:57 PM
So, will the ULM coach be available next year?

Had the same thought.

If another LSU fan texts me about Bobby MF Petrino, I will go postal.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 03:41:13 PM
One of the best kickers in CFB and we are playing so we can lose in overtime.

Holy shit.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 03:41:53 PM
So, will the ULM coach be available next year?
Sure if he can get Chiz money!
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 03:43:01 PM
Never mind. We are gonna lose in regulation.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 03:43:48 PM
Had the same thought.

If another LSU fan texts me about Bobby MF Petrino, I will go postal.
I apologize for suggesting the same.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 03:45:47 PM
ULM thinks they can win.

We don't.

Will make the difference.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 03:47:06 PM
ULM thinks they can win.

We don't.

Will make the difference.
Oh no, the OC has it all figured out. We win!
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: AUChizad on September 15, 2012, 03:47:45 PM
Fuck me.

Saban's worst loss at Bama?

Chizik is saying check mate.

 :suicide:
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 03:48:50 PM
They will win and get a million dollars to do it.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 03:50:47 PM
Fuck me.

Saban's worst loss at Bama?

Chizik is saying check mate.

 :suicide:
Not Chizs' Waterloo!
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: AUChizad on September 15, 2012, 03:53:13 PM
Well. It looks like we'll escape this with an OT field goal...hopefully...
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 03:54:05 PM
The sickest I have ever felt after a win.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 04:00:40 PM
Not my idea of a win but it beats the alternative and answers a few more questions. It has sucked worse, I promise you!
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: HSVBeerNerd on September 15, 2012, 04:39:58 PM
2nd and 13th...Chiz says no more fucks given and kicks the f/g before ULM gets an INT or something. Thank god
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 04:54:17 PM
Not my idea of a win but it beats the alternative and answers a few more questions. It has sucked worse, I promise you!

Dude, I am 42 years old.  I came of age as an Auburn fan during the Barfield years.  I remember suckage.  And I never want to feel like that again.  So, with all due respect, please don't try and play the cheery "It can be worse!!!" card with me.  Football is a new sport every year, so I could give two craps about last year or two years ago or 35 years ago.  Losing sucks.  I can handle losing a close game to a legit opponent.  But getting blown out by MSU or letting a craptastic lower tier team take us to overtime makes me want to puke. 

So I have finally started drinking - just popped the first bottle of champagne of the day.  Not to celebrate a win.  To celebrate not losing.  We should have lost.  We did not deserve to win.  ULM is a shitty FG kicker away from a win.  Can't forget that - but I am gonna try, at least for tonight.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 05:18:56 PM
Dude, I am 42 years old.  I came of age as an Auburn fan during the Barfield years.  I remember suckage.  And I never want to feel like that again.  So, with all due respect, please don't try and play the cheery "It can be worse!!!" card with me.  Football is a new sport every year, so I could give two craps about last year or two years ago or 35 years ago.  Losing sucks.  I can handle losing a close game to a legit opponent.  But getting blown out by MSU or letting a craptastic lower tier team take us to overtime makes me want to puke. 

So I have finally started drinking - just popped the first bottle of champagne of the day.  Not to celebrate a win.  To celebrate not losing.  We should have lost.  We did not deserve to win.  ULM is a shitty FG kicker away from a win.  Can't forget that - but I am gonna try, at least for tonight.
Not pretending things are good, only better than last week. This team has to learn how to play SEC football. Gonna look ugly at times.
Even the NC season had close call games we could have lost. 
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: JR4AU on September 15, 2012, 05:25:26 PM
Saw it first hand.  We looked ok for about 2 quarters, then the fucking wheels came off.  Had multiple chances to put away ULM, fucking ULM, and we tried to give it away.  Coaches and team were scared of losing and it showed badly in the end of regulation.  Played not to lose, and almost did.  We looked average vs a good Sun Belt team.  It's not just Frazier, and it's not just Jake.  It's virtually all bad, with a couple of small bright spots that won't matter in the end.   The call to kick the FG on second down in OT, without even trying to punch it in is what this team and staff is made of. 
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 05:26:34 PM
Not pretending things are good, only better than last week. This team has to learn how to play SEC football. Gonna look ugly at times.
Even the NC season had close call games we could have lost.
Better than last week?  HOW???  Last week was an SEC West team.  This week was what was supposed to be a cupcake.  If we had played like we did today against anyone other than ULaMo, we would have gotten our shit pushed in by the second quarter.  So no, improvement would have been looking better against LSU.  When you compare opponents, this was still a regression.

Again, not trying to pick a fight with you, but I am not picking up what you are laying down.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: JR4AU on September 15, 2012, 05:29:45 PM

but I am not picking up what you are laying down.

Get in line, and it's a long one.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Prowler on September 15, 2012, 05:53:47 PM
I just looked out the window...the sky is not falling, I repeat...the sky is not falling.

But, at this time, it's looking like there's a 60% chance of sky fallage come next Saturday.

IMO, a new Strength Coach and DL Coach is needed, as well as a new MLB (put a fuckin freshman in there, I'd rather a freshman make mistakes and learn from them than a Junior...I'm looking at ”Nova” McKinzy).

What's scary is that, apparently, our backup QBs are worse than Kiehl Frazier.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: jmar on September 15, 2012, 05:56:35 PM
Saw it first hand.  We looked ok for about 2 quarters, then the fucking wheels came off.  Had multiple chances to put away ULM, fucking ULM, and we tried to give it away.  Coaches and team were scared of losing and it showed badly in the end of regulation.  Played not to lose, and almost did.  We looked average vs a good Sun Belt team.  It's not just Frazier, and it's not just Jake.  It's virtually all bad, with a couple of small bright spots that won't matter in the end.   The call to kick the FG on second down in OT, without even trying to punch it in is what this team and staff is made of.
Not proud of the way we won but the pick and fumble dictated coaching not to lose when we were 0-2 and playing a team that came back to beat Arky in OT the previous week. I thought Loeffler stayed consistent and never became too conservative and I'm sure he will caution Frazier not to hold the ball and to avoid the center of the field unless it's deep. Kiehl has a strong arm but it's pretty evident that he struggles with touch. It was good to see the combinations of backs at play with Bray becoming a possession receiver and Sammy Coates breaking in. On defense we had decent front four  containment. Yes there were breakdowns but we had two men on their FL screens and swing passes (their bread and butter) for the most part and that was good coaching.   
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 06:00:12 PM
But, at this time, it's looking like there's a 60% chance of sky fallage come next Saturday.

60% chance. You are as delirious as jmar.

Nookie just placed an extra order for anal lube.  There will be prisoners at Atmore that will be violated less than we will be next weekend.

And I am flying home to witness this gang bang in person... FML.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: AUJarhead on September 15, 2012, 06:33:17 PM
LSU is going to embarrass us next weekend.  And then for good measure, they will run up in the stands, and donkey punch all of our sorority girls.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: The Prowler on September 15, 2012, 07:15:56 PM
(http://gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs3/3671020_o.gif)
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Townhallsavoy on September 15, 2012, 07:52:31 PM
Saw it first hand.  We looked ok for about 2 quarters, then the fucking wheels came off.  Had multiple chances to put away ULM, fucking ULM, and we tried to give it away.  Coaches and team were scared of losing and it showed badly in the end of regulation.  Played not to lose, and almost did.  We looked average vs a good Sun Belt team.  It's not just Frazier, and it's not just Jake.  It's virtually all bad, with a couple of small bright spots that won't matter in the end.   The call to kick the FG on second down in OT, without even trying to punch it in is what this team and staff is made of.

I think you need to watch a replay.  I don't think we looked "ok" at any point in the game besides a few drives where our running backs broke free. 

I agree that most of our team is bad, but I made an effort to watch Holland all game.  I even rewound the DVR to see if my eyes were accurate.  He is laughable.  My thread title was created after the first drive of the game.  I should have retitled it "The Jake Holland Comedy Four Hours Before He Kills Everybody." 

He's an embarrassment.  He didn't do one thing right.  One thing I did notice was that every time Jake was in on a tackle, it was because the play either ran right to wherever the hell he was going or other Auburn defenders had already slowed it down.  That was maybe MAYBE 1/4 of the plays.  Maybe 25% of all of ULM's plays did Jake Holland have a positive effect. 

The other times, he was chasing the wrong people, getting spun around by a blocker, getting bulldozed by a blocker, backpedaling, or just wandering aimlessly.  Then, I counted five, but I know there more, but I counted five times he went to make a tackle and missed.  Whiffed.  You could hear the air swooshing through the stadium from his massive failure of a tackle.  He may have clubbed the runner with his forearms, but when you're too small to be an SEC linebacker, your forearms aren't going to do any kind of damage to a running back with a head of steam.

He was bad.  Bad, bad.  Like, should not have a scholarship bad.  Like, should be ridiculed for his shitty hairstyle and his piss poor play, bad. 

But perhaps not.  Perhaps the real scary part is that he's the best we have.  He's throwing his body around trying the best he can to do something amazing for Auburn.  I have to commend him on that.  It must be tough getting your ass kicked for four hours in front of 87,000 family members.  I bet he has that "I'm about to cry" feeling all game long.  For that, I give him props.  He can keep his haircut.  If that makes him happy, keep it. 
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: RWS on September 15, 2012, 08:20:39 PM
and playing a team that came back to beat Arky in OT the previous week.
I don't know if, or how long you watched Arky's game today, but Alabama's 5th string and scout team RBs were pushing Arky's shit in. No bullshit. 5th string guy scored a TD. The 3rd string QB (who is actually a RB) scored on them. At one point, Alabama had about 3 walk-ons playing defense. And getting sacks on Arky's starting QB and second team OL. Alabama scored 21 points AFTER pulling starters.

Arkansas with Wilson was so-so. A Wilson-less Arkansas is fucking horrible. Their best defense is their offense. Their coach is equally horrible. Beating Arkansas gave me about as much satisfaction as beating North Texas. Just saying, I would watch out how much I tout ULM beating Arky.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 08:23:27 PM
I don't know if, or how long you watched Arky's game today, but Alabama's 5th string and scout team RBs were pushing Arky's shit in. No bullshit. 5th string guy scored a TD. The 3rd string QB (who is actually a RB) scored on them. At one point, Alabama had about 3 walk-ons playing defense. And getting sacks on Arky's starting QB and second team OL. Alabama scored 21 points AFTER pulling starters.

Arkansas with Wilson was so-so. A Wilson-less Arkansas is fucking horrible. Their coach is equally horrible. Beating Arkansas gave me about as much satisfaction as beating North Texas. Just saying, I would watch out how much I tout ULM beating Arky.

I'm really drunk, so I will take my turn.

FUCK OFF, bammer shithead.  Go suck Saban's dick.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: RWS on September 15, 2012, 08:26:43 PM
I'm really drunk, so I will take my turn.

FUCK OFF, bammer shithead.  Go suck Saban's dick.
Fair enough. At least your team didn't lose to ULM, though.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 15, 2012, 08:27:57 PM
Fair enough. At least your team didn't lose to ULM, though.

AU > Arky.

Let's pour another round!!
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: JR4AU on September 15, 2012, 08:55:02 PM
I think you need to watch a replay.  I don't think we looked "ok" at any point in the game besides a few drives where our running backs broke free. 

I agree that most of our team is bad, but I made an effort to watch Holland all game.  I even rewound the DVR to see if my eyes were accurate.  He is laughable.  My thread title was created after the first drive of the game.  I should have retitled it "The Jake Holland Comedy Four Hours Before He Kills Everybody." 

He's an embarrassment.  He didn't do one thing right.  One thing I did notice was that every time Jake was in on a tackle, it was because the play either ran right to wherever the hell he was going or other Auburn defenders had already slowed it down.  That was maybe MAYBE 1/4 of the plays.  Maybe 25% of all of ULM's plays did Jake Holland have a positive effect. 

The other times, he was chasing the wrong people, getting spun around by a blocker, getting bulldozed by a blocker, backpedaling, or just wandering aimlessly.  Then, I counted five, but I know there more, but I counted five times he went to make a tackle and missed.  Whiffed.  You could hear the air swooshing through the stadium from his massive failure of a tackle.  He may have clubbed the runner with his forearms, but when you're too small to be an SEC linebacker, your forearms aren't going to do any kind of damage to a running back with a head of steam.

He was bad.  Bad, bad.  Like, should not have a scholarship bad.  Like, should be ridiculed for his shitty hairstyle and his piss poor play, bad. 

But perhaps not.  Perhaps the real scary part is that he's the best we have.  He's throwing his body around trying the best he can to do something amazing for Auburn.  I have to commend him on that.  It must be tough getting your ass kicked for four hours in front of 87,000 family members.  I bet he has that "I'm about to cry" feeling all game long.  For that, I give him props.  He can keep his haircut.  If that makes him happy, keep it.

Context..."ok at times" vs ULM. 

Your words about Holland are true, and the result of one of 3 things.  Either our coaches can't evaluate talent, or they can't develop it, or both.   Holland is not an anomaly.  Frazier same same.  Jeff Whitaker.   Every DB we have.   Name as many players that this staff "raised from a pup" and that has reached advertised potential?
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: GH2001 on September 15, 2012, 09:43:28 PM
So, it took a trick play and a Hail Mary to get a lead against ULM?

That's about the exact thing I said to Dallas and JR at halftime on the concourse.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: GH2001 on September 15, 2012, 09:51:36 PM
Context..."ok at times" vs ULM. 

Your words about Holland are true, and the result of one of 3 things.  Either our coaches can't evaluate talent, or they can't develop it.   Holland is not an anomaly.  Frazier same same.  Jeff Whitaker.   Every DB we have.   Name as many players that this staff "raised from a pup" and that has reached advertised potential?

Lemoiner is about the only one.
Title: Re: The Jake Holland Comedy Hour
Post by: JR4AU on September 16, 2012, 10:27:16 AM
Lemoiner is about the only one.

Yep, maybe Dee Ford, who has needed 3 years of roids to even get there.