Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports
The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: Tiger Wench on July 07, 2011, 11:11:45 AM
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i just went and made myself a cup of tea. As I turned away from the counter, I spilled a little on the floor. Being a grown-up, with half a brain in my head, I sat my tea cup down and grabbed a napkin to clean up my mess.
One of the HR morons walked by and said "OOOOH! A positive behavioral observation!! Someone write up a card!!"
I wheeled around on her and said "Acting like a grownup and cleaning up my mess is not a behavioral observation. It's what NORMAL people do... So save it."
That is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard of. I am in Risk Management and I am all about my guys being safe when they are out on a heavy lift barge in the middle of the GOM lifting a 200 ton platform deck off the risers and onto a material barge. Welding, downhole services, no texting or talking on cell phones in a company truck or on a job location, wearing PPE, etc. - those are safety measures that are critical to our company's continued success.
But giving me a fucking smiley face and a Paula Abdul clap when I clean up something I myself spilled is condescending and patronizing to the nth degree. And I would sooner stick a pencil in my eye than fill out one of their fucking behavioral observation cards. Risk Management in the corporate office is not quite the same as risk management on a fucking dive boat in choppy seas.
And now next week, I have to go to a mandatory meeting to listen to the Johnny Joiners who make up our Corporate Safety Team give a lecture on Summer Water Safety. Don't let your kids swim unsupervised. Don't go in a boat without a life jacket. Don't drink and boat. This is relevant to the shitpiles of work on my desk HOW? HOW, exactly, is this worth an hour and a half of my time that could be spent contributing to the company bottom line?
And these Johnny Joiners are useless in and of themselves. These people are generally the admin type people here at the office who have no authority or power, so they join every committee and group they can in a desperate effort to validate themselves. They are the "Safety Captains" on each floor of our building, and get a little placque outside of their cube or office. They got the first responder training and the CPR and defib training, which scares the hell out of me because most of them are dumber than a sack of hammers.
Yet the one time we had a medical emergency on our floor - my friend Alicia fainted because she is anemic and did not bother to eat her lunch or drink water and got dehydrated - the alleged Safety Captain was running around in hysterics with a fucking radio she did not know how to use, screaming at other people who were also running around like idiots. Meanwhile another guy and I got Alicia to her feet and into my office, where I put her on my couch and elevated her feet. I pointed at one person and said "You call 9-1-1- and don't forget to dial the 9 to get an outside line." When the ambulance arrived, I gave them a statement and they carted her off to the hospital for an IV. The Safety Captain - a CLERK in our procurement department - had the GALL to make a smart remark to me AFTER THE FACT about how she was supposed to be in charge and I promptly told her she could not manage her way out of a wet paper bag, much less a medical situation, so she needed to back the fuck up and get out of my face.
Fuck the nanny state and the trickle down effect it has on business. It makes my head explode.
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Welcome to my world.
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Welcome to my world.
OSHA wants a word with you
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Our CSO is the dumbest motherfucker on the planet. I hate him and his security briefings, we have to be careful though, there are "tourist who are massers at espiona and will steal our cassified infumation". He can't even pronounce the name of the company or his own name correctly. His emails are painful to read. He types just like he talks.
Here is a snippets from his emails and 4th of july safety questions.
Please read the attach letter. I have present several question that could be ask. I have provide suggested answer to those question. Please review the attach question that MIGHT be ask.
It hot, how much fluid should I intake to stay hydrate?
Firework, are they dangerous and how should be handled?
FIRE ALRARM will sound in about 30 to 40 minute. Maintenance are working on the system. DO NOT EVACUATE!!
Here is a email to help you understanding the defense hotline. Poster is in located of every breakroom.
Last year when when applying for the renewal of our Common Access Cards and our MDA badges, he actually sent out an e-mail to everyone applying, the prime, other subs and the Gov't customers with everyone's name, DOB, SSN, & address on the attachment. Luckily I had already had mine from a previous position and didn't have to apply with everyone else. :facepalm:
Looking back I should have called the Defense Hotline and asked why our CSO was sending out e-mails with everyone's personal information on it.
Oh, he is a retired Air Force Bird Colonel BTWay, figure that one out.
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Obviously Engrish is not his first language...? WTF?
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Looking back I should have called the Defense Hotline and asked why our CSO was sending out e-mails with everyone's personal information on it.
Depending on your industry and the exposure of this information, a federal crime may have been committed. You could have fun with that...
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Obviously Engrish is not his first language...? WTF?
Last year during our annual security briefing I decided I would keep up with how many times he butchered words in his speech. I quit making tally marks at 60 inside of 30 minutes.
Depending on your industry and the exposure of this information, a federal crime may have been committed. You could have fun with that...
It would have got his ass fired for sure, even if they didn't bring any charges up against him. If he does it next time and my name is on the list. I will give it about 1 second of thought before I call them up and ask what the hell is going on.
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I too work in Risk Management. I have a territory that spans from Michigan to Florida. I have 5 other co-workers who have other territories. Thankfully my boss lets each of us manage our regions as we see fit. I prefer to take an Enterprise Risk Management approach with my region, but most of my counterparts like to go the "Safety First" route (very similar to what I read in TW's initial post).
Whatever I'm doing is working, because we have 15 locations in the entire company to be scored perfectly on our 2Q YTD aggregate audit (out of 120), and 10 of them were from my region. Hold on while I pat myself on the back...
My closest geographic counterpart decided that to remedy his region's poor scores, he would start sending a 'Safety Message of the Day' email every fricking morning. I want to let him know that no one wants to get these emails and that 95% of the people on his distribution list are deleting the email without opening it, but he thinks it's helping, so what the hay.
In summary, I feel your pain.
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I also work in risk management. It's a full-time job trying to keep AWK from contracting goat AIDS.
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OSHA wants a word with you
Let's just that I would not be surprised if Mr. Bouyett from the Atlanta office is on quite a few mailing lists that he didn't use to be on.
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Let's just that I would not be surprised if Mr. Bouyett from the Atlanta office is on quite a few mailing lists that he didn't use to be on.
1. Don't drink and boat. Is this actually possible?
2. Even the most stoopied boss doesn't like a mailing from: http://biogift.org/
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So I walk back in the shop after a reasonable relaxed lunch at O'Charlie's to a certified envelope sitting on my desk. (never good)
Well it seems that OSHA has finally decided what we owe them for our aggrieves transgressions against the workers of our company....
$27,770.00
Now for those who do not remember there was not one major violation that we were cited for. I went onto their website and researched these particular offenses and it looked like at MOST they could ding us 5k to 8k based off of historical precedence. Even that would be a crime against humanity IMO but at least there was some history for those amounts.
It gets better. They have decided in their infinite wisdom and benevolence that for a one time offer they will settle these fines by reducing them by 25%. So they will let us pay $20,827.00 as long as we roll right the fuck over and pretend we are Andy Dick. Now the catch here is that they try to frighten everyone into paying the lesser amount because the reduced amount is a one time offer and only if you do not challenge the original amount. If you challenge the original amount and lose then you are responsible for the entire amount. Guess who will the deciding the case. That's right OSHA. Hmmm. Let me think about this a minute. They are doing nothing more than fund raising and they are going to be the ones to decide whether or not they have been fair with us to begin with.
What a fucking racket!
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Some people are and will always be idiots. These programs and the people that run them would be the first people to die in an actual emergency.
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Some people are and will always be idiots. These programs and the people that run them would should be the first people to die. in an actual emergency.
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What uncle Sani said.