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The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: Pell City Tiger on March 29, 2008, 03:35:27 PM

Title: "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend Patty. Patty O'Furniture."
Post by: Pell City Tiger on March 29, 2008, 03:35:27 PM: Quote
Man Caught Having Sex with a Picnic Table

BELLEVUE, OH -- A man in central Ohio is accused of having sex with his picnic table.

The investigation began when a tipster gave police three DVDs showing Arthur Price having sexual intercourse with a metal round table on his deck.

The incidents occurred between January and March 2008.

Police say the DVDs show Price involved in a sex act in his bedroom. He walks out to his deck, tilts the table on its side and has sex with it.

Police say Price lives near an elementary school.

Price admitted that he had sex with the picnic table when police questioned him.

He confirmed to police the incidents caught on the DVDs and said he had also had sex with the table inside the home.

Price faces four counts of public indecency. He is free on a $20,000 bond.

(http://www.firstcoastnews.com/genthumb.ashx?e=15&w=240&h=180&i=/assetpool/images/08328132425_picnicsex.jpg)
Title: Re: "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend Patty. Patty O'Furniture."
Post by: DnATL on March 29, 2008, 04:28:23 PM: The Price is WRONG, bitch!!
Title: Re: "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend Patty. Patty O'Furniture."
Post by: Jumbo on March 30, 2008, 03:12:11 AM: He payed for it, fuck it.
Title: Re: "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend Patty. Patty O'Furniture."
Post by: GarMan on March 31, 2008, 01:55:00 PM: It's his furniture! He owns it.
Title: Re: "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend Patty. Patty O'Furniture."
Post by: Godfather on March 31, 2008, 09:09:35 PM: I really don't see the harm...if a man wants to have sex with his patio furniture. Maybe his wife is a bitch.
Title: Re: "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend Patty. Patty O'Furniture."
Post by: DnATL on March 31, 2008, 09:36:45 PM: Quote from: BK AU on March 31, 2008, 09:09:35 PM
I really don't see the harm...if a man wants to have sex with his patio furniture. Maybe his wife is a bitch.
Maybe it was not consensual? Maybe the patio furniture was imported, and was therefore his indentured sex slave, afraid of being sent back to the factory in China. Maybe he promised the table that if he could get his jollies, he would reunite its family by buying the rest of the set?
And don't say that the furniture was just getting what it deserved and asking for it by being all curvy and vinyl-clad. No means no!

Was Rick James there? Fuck yo dinette!!
Title: Re: "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend Patty. Patty O'Furniture."
Post by: Jumbo on April 01, 2008, 12:13:14 AM: Quote from: DnATL on March 31, 2008, 09:36:45 PM
Maybe it was not consensual? Maybe the patio furniture was imported, and was therefore his indentured sex slave, afraid of being sent back to the factory in China. Maybe he promised the table that if he could get his jollies, he would reunite its family by buying the rest of the set?
And don't say that the furniture was just getting what it deserved and asking for it by being all curvy and vinyl-clad. No means no!

Was Rick James there? Fuck yo dinette!!
Do the think the furniture will take him to the COURTyard over this?
Title: Re: "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend Patty. Patty O'Furniture."
Post by: Ogre on April 01, 2008, 08:49:30 AM: Quote from: jumbo on April 01, 2008, 12:13:14 AM
Do the think the furniture will take him to the COURTyard over this?

:cage: