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21
Haley Center Basement / Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Last post by Kaos on May 28, 2023, 10:15:55 PM »
Bama Rush

If every single one of these vapid, clueless airheads disappeared from the face of the earth it would be a better place to live. 

They are despicable. They are dumber than a box of coat hangers.  They are nothing more than self important cum dumpsters. 

As bad as they are and this is?  The stupid filmmaker who inserted herself artificially into the narrative with her No Ho Hank looking head makes it exponentially worse. There’s no reason for her to put herself into the middle of the story (what little there is it it) or talk to the camera.  She’s as awful as the morons from the sororities. She’s a stupid, self-involved mommy part, honestly. This is less about Rush than her stupid wiggy ass.

Every single person in this film is one of the most useless sacks of flesh to ever breathe. 

Good lord this us atrocious.  Social media is the ruination of this country. 

I’m going to quit watching it because I don’t want to see the ugly, fat ass dancing hippo from Illinois get into one.

EDITED TO ADD:

The more I think about this, the more it bothers me. This was an absolute waste of time. 

The narcissistic director was no better than the brain-dead, drama-loving/creating trash whores she profiled. 

You learn ABSOLUTELY nothing from this worthless production.  It's all surface-level information, that a hamster could glean from the newspaper that lines its cage.  The fact that NoHo Sally thinks she's making some profound statement with this is insulting.

She bases her "documentary" (aka vanity project so she can talk about her fucking head) on four girls - all of whom are wrapped in drama they fabricate. 

One is a drama-soaked wanna-be tramp who claims to have body issues and also claims she has been roofied "multiple times."  I've known whores like this all my life who are so desperate for attention that they are ragingly drunk after two beers and then throw their stinking pussy on anybody who'll stick a dick in it.  After, they claim to have been taken advantage of.  Midway through, on discovering that she was unlikely to be picked up by any sorority because she has no social skills other than being loud and drunk, she drops out of Rush. 
One down.

One is a mixed race, very confused, girl who sees everything through a racial lens.  I think the Knobhead director thought she'd get to make a case for how racist the school is when this mousy girl got dropped. Instead, she dropped herself out of Rush after going to a "rush coach" and looking gawky in her dresses.
Two down.

One is a fat ass, self-involved, no talent, utterly annoying cow from Illinois who chose to go to Bama 'because.'  She's the worst. Videos of her bloated ass thundering around on a dance stage, videos of her trying on dresses that make her look like the Hindenburg after it hit the powerlines. Absolutely zero self awareness.  She dropped out of the "documentary" after learning the sororities were cautioning pledges not to be involved.
Three down.

The fat ass hippopotamus was the reason I quit watching it initially.  I didn't want to see her "excited" face if she got a bid. I finally went back and finished it and the pig squealing when she opened her bid packet was just as grating as I imagined it would be.  That she was tapped to pledge Phi MOO was fitting. Her claiming it was "one of the top tier sororities" was also laughable. Phi MOO is literally one of the bottom rung houses on campus. It's not THE bottom, but it is in the bottom 5%. And this ridiculous bitch squealed like Ned Beatty with a mountain man up his ass when she "got in." 

One is a complete self-absorbed girl from California who claims to have been raped just before coming to Rush. She's pretty, but has an IQ of about 4. She does make it through rush. 

So out of the four rushees, the thing ends up with one who finishes the project. Over the course of it, viewers are given ZERO insights into what actually happens during the interviews, ZERO real examination of the power sororities have on campus, ZERO consideration of what impact Sorostitute life has on past members (good and bad), ZERO discussion of alcohol abuse or drugs, ZERO inspection of the Stepford Wife conformity the societies enforce, ZERO information about how rule breakers are treated, ZERO real exposition of how sisters who date "outside" the system are treated.  I was there, saw all of that in real time. I briefly dated a girl who was in one of the ones that started with Alpha when I was in Tuscaloosa. I liked her, but we couldn't survive the "nobody can know I'm dating a GDI!!" or the regular forced swaps where where she had a required date with some douchetwat from a frat. I think part of the allure for her was that I wasn't a frat boy and I was "forbidden" by her sisterhood. When she'd show up my apartment in a hat and sunglasses worried that somebody had followed her off campus... I got tired of that. 

The biggest thing is there was ZERO real investigation of The Machine *which should have been a completely separate documentary and one that a REAL investigative reporter, not NoHo Hootenanny, should undertake. The Machine exists and what everybody fails to understand is that it isn't limited to the UA campus. It has controlled state politics for decades. Like the mafia, it needs to end.  Yes, No Ho Sally awkwardly touched on it, but did nothing but rehash stale newspaper headlines and dug no deeper. 

This is a TERRIBLE documentary from which you will discover absolutely nothing other than the fact that this stupid ass NoHo bitch put on a wig.   
22
War Damn Eagle / Re: RB1: Cinematographer?
« Last post by GH2001 on May 28, 2023, 10:09:55 PM »
Please, God no.

Ryan Brown is always the source I go to for all things inside the auburn complex. Almost as much as cole cubelic.
23
Haley Center Basement / Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Last post by GH2001 on May 28, 2023, 10:06:26 PM »
Her face ain't a world beater, really.  Gal Gadot has a much more attractive face.  Like mesmerizingly hot. Margot Robbie... There are several.

But them American titties!  Oh my lord.

Right up there with Teresa Palmer's exquisite ass!

Her blue eyes are actually pretty spectacular. She’s damn near perfect to me.
24
War Damn Eagle / Re: RB1: Cinematographer?
« Last post by Snakebite on May 28, 2023, 06:57:20 PM »
TTFWIW the word on the skeets is this more serious than previously reported. Ryan Brown (formerly of JOX) said in an interview Thursday that the school issuing statements was a signal to him that something was up. He did some checking and all he could say was there was a lot more coming and some of it encircles CHF.

 :facepalm:

Please, God no.
25
Haley Center Basement / Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Last post by Snakebite on May 28, 2023, 06:24:59 PM »
Her face ain't a world beater, really.  Gal Gadot has a much more attractive face.  Like mesmerizingly hot. Margot Robbie... There are several.

But them American titties!  Oh my lord.

Right up there with Teresa Palmer's exquisite ass!

She is the only reason to watch I Am Number Four and Take Me Home Tonight (it does have its funny moments).

Still hard for any of ‘em to beat Kate Beckinsale.

26
War Damn Eagle / Re: RB1: Cinematographer?
« Last post by The Six on May 28, 2023, 04:55:24 PM »
TTFWIW the word on the skeets is this more serious than previously reported. Ryan Brown (formerly of JOX) said in an interview Thursday that the school issuing statements was a signal to him that something was up. He did some checking and all he could say was there was a lot more coming and some of it encircles CHF.

 :facepalm:
27
Haley Center Basement / Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Last post by Kaos on May 28, 2023, 04:36:15 PM »
And Woody Harrelson had the honor of touching them. Pretty sure she’s one of the most beautiful women to ever exist.

Her face ain't a world beater, really.  Gal Gadot has a much more attractive face.  Like mesmerizingly hot. Margot Robbie... There are several.

But them American titties!  Oh my lord.

Right up there with Teresa Palmer's exquisite ass!
28
Haley Center Basement / Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Last post by Snakebite on May 28, 2023, 03:25:54 PM »

Alexandra DDarrio was not body doubled in that however, a fact you should never forget.


And Woody Harrelson had the honor of touching them. Pretty sure she’s one of the most beautiful women to ever exist.
29
Haley Center Basement / Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Last post by Kaos on May 28, 2023, 11:24:46 AM »
Blood

I watched this because it was categorized as a horror film and because it starred Michelle Monaghan, who I've liked for a long time.  She's around 50 and still looks really, really good to me. She first got my attention in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (a highly underrated movie, BTW) and has been solid in pretty much everything I've ever seen her in - including True Detective. To my knowledge her only on-screen nudity was KKBB, although there was perhaps some in True Detective - which was possibly a body double. Alexandra DDarrio was not body doubled in that however, a fact you should never forget.

She's the best part of this movie, too.

Premise:

She's divorcing Skeet Ulrich, and moves into an old farmhouse out in the middle of nowhere with her two kids. She is a nurse and apparently used to be a drug addict (never really properly fleshed out). Some weird tree (never explained) somehow (never explained) infects the dog, who bites her kid.  Kid develops a taste for the movie's title (why? never explained).  Mom Michelle goes to great lengths to provide for the ever hungry kid as it gets further and further removed from its human roots (why? never explained).  Eventually its a battle for survival. 

Wasn't bad. Wasn't good. I struggled with how quickly mom figured out psycho boy's need and how quickly she shifted into straight up psycho mode to supply it. 

Just another average horror movie where the only horror was the cringe inducing "poor Cadbury spokesman" moments and the possibility of a baby being eaten (I actually almost wish they'd gone there). 

Recommend? Not really.
30
Haley Center Basement / Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Last post by Kaos on May 28, 2023, 10:45:31 AM »
Poker Face
Australian movie with Australian cast.  Russell Crowe (who directed) and a Hemsworth.  Some boxy-looking women who weren't bad to look at. 

Basic story:  Crowe is mega rich from playing poker and inventing some government spy program.  When the spy program was first developed he distributed shares to all his poker-playing pals - millions of dollar's worth - who promptly proceeded to squander them.

Now he's dying. So he sets up a winner-take-all poker battle and invites all of his ex pals to play. Cue some shenanigans initiated by his down-on-their-luck ex pals who are desperate for money, wedge in a farcical storyline about his wife banging one of the friends, swizzle a trio of brutal, but bungling burglars who would have easily been thwarted by Kevin from Home Alone, and cap it off with a saccharin ending.

It just didn't have the weight it wanted to. And because it was Australian, it was weird.
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