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Pat Dye Field => War Damn Eagle => Topic started by: Townhallsavoy on August 31, 2015, 08:16:43 AM

Title: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Townhallsavoy on August 31, 2015, 08:16:43 AM
It's that time of year! I don't know if any of you stole this tradition like jmar did last year. I think it was him. Maybe not. We'll say it was him anyway.

But I'm back and ready to get this season kicked off the right way.

Guarantees for 2015:

- Auburn fans will be worried about the quarterback position on October 1st.

*It's not that Jeremy Johnson is going to suck or fail, but he has a difficult task going into this season. The opener is against Louisville in Atlanta, @LSU is week 3, and Miss State is week 4. While all three games are winnable, Johnson is a new quarterback working with a new offensive line. He's not going to be Uganda Cam until he gets a few games under his belt. Expect to hear some bitching as we hit the midseason.

- Alabama's defense will dominate, but their offense will cost them three games.

- USC will go 6-6 and Sarkisian will resign or be fired.

- Washington will be the surprise team of the year.

- Georgia will go 9-3 or 10-2 and maybe reach the SECCG and lose and probably win their bowl game.

- Ohio State will lose two games.

- Leonard Fournette will not be the starting running back for LSU by season's end.

- Tennessee will represent the East in the SECCG.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Catphish Tilly on August 31, 2015, 08:25:24 AM
If Georgia does in fact make it to the SECCG, as you predict, would the SEC West representative play them before or after Tennessee?
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: wesfau2 on August 31, 2015, 08:30:17 AM
I'll take the exact opposites of your first and last guarantees.

Johnson will be impressive from snap 1 and the offense will be humming.

Tennessee is having a brutal pre-season and their media-darling status for 2015 will come crashing down around them.


Mine:

#1 - AU wins the SEC
#2 - Ark fans are going to crash back to reality around week 4
#3 - Miles will lose the locker room after the AU beatdown and LSU will finish in the bottom half of the SECW

Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Buzz Killington on August 31, 2015, 08:45:39 AM
1.  Missouri will win the East for the third straight year.
2.  Florida will edge out Vandy for the cellar dwellar in the East.
3.  Ohio State and Alabama will have a rematch...in the Chick-Fil-A Bowl.
4.  Jeremy Johnson and Leonard Fournette both get the invite to New York and finish in the top 5 of the Heisman vote.
5.  Everybody will still hate dallas.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Godfather on August 31, 2015, 09:26:35 AM
What these two guys above me said ...the two right before this post....those two...see them.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Snaggletiger on August 31, 2015, 09:33:31 AM
I guarantee Godfather won't make his own guarantees.

I guarantee Bama's defense at some point will be hailed as better than the 92' Bama D.

I guarantee that if anyone decides to play a drinking game that involves taking a slug every time the announcer mentions Nick Saban during a Florida game, someone will die of alcohol poisoning.

I guarantee that this is the year I get my balls back....AND I will bring them to an Auburn football game. 
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: jmar on August 31, 2015, 10:16:13 AM
I occasionally contribute to Friday purdictions and much less on these guarantees and I haven't stolen a gotdamned thing. Welcome back BTW.

Agree with Wes.
Johnson might not shatter all AU passing records but he can spray it around quicker and more accurately than any I've seen with only a small sample by which to judge.

Pretty much all I have. Don't want to heap too much praise or repeat myself. Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to the archives to skulk around for somebody else's big ideas to call my own.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Snaggletiger on August 31, 2015, 10:18:40 AM
I occasionally contribute to Friday purdictions and much less on these guarantees and I haven't stolen a gotdamned thing. Welcome back BTW.

Agree with Wes.
Johnson might not shatter all AU passing records but he can spray it around quicker and more accurately than any I've seen with only a small sample by which to judge.

Pretty much all I have. Don't want to heap too much praise or repeat myself. Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to the archives to skulk around for somebody else's big ideas to call my own.

You're a regular Chizad!
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: jmar on August 31, 2015, 10:27:36 AM
You're a regular Chizad!
He's much skronger wit tha insults.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: AUChizad on August 31, 2015, 10:41:41 AM
You're a regular Chizad!
(http://i468.photobucket.com/albums/rr46/moviebuff94/yo-dawg-at-first-i-was-like.jpg) (http://s468.photobucket.com/user/moviebuff94/media/yo-dawg-at-first-i-was-like.jpg.html)


!
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: jmar on August 31, 2015, 11:05:25 AM
We didn't have Chizad! this time last season. If he visits some of the rival sites we could be in for a jihad.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Snaggletiger on August 31, 2015, 11:07:48 AM
jihad!
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: jmar on August 31, 2015, 11:14:26 AM
jihad!
Boy dont know when to stop exclaiming.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Godfather on August 31, 2015, 11:18:52 AM
I guarantee that jmar will say something that none of us will understand.

I guarantee Auburn's defense will be vastly improved.

I guarantee Buzz has the hots for Mrs. dallaswareagle.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: dallaswareagle on August 31, 2015, 11:37:45 AM
I guarantee that jmar will say something that none of us will understand.

I guarantee Auburn's defense will be vastly improved.

I guarantee Buzz has the hots for Mrs. dallaswareagle.


A little help on lodging and such.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: jmar on August 31, 2015, 11:47:28 AM
I guarantee that jmar will say something that none of us will understand.

I guarantee Auburn's defense will be vastly improved.

I guarantee Buzz has the hots for Mrs. dallaswareagle.
#s 1&3 are alcohol dependent best anyone can tell.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Jumbo on August 31, 2015, 11:57:26 AM
I can guarantee y'all I'm getting fucked up tonight.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: chinook on August 31, 2015, 12:08:00 PM
I can guarantee y'all I'm getting fucked up tonight.

I'm your Oreo.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Townhallsavoy on August 31, 2015, 12:12:27 PM
I can guarantee y'all I'm getting fucked up tonight.

Aw, come on, Jumbo. It's only Monday. Save the liver for Thursday-Sunday.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: chinook on August 31, 2015, 12:17:17 PM
Aw, come on, Jumbo. It's only Monday. Save the liver for Thursday-Sunday.

What make's you think Washington will be a surprise team this year?  Assuming surprise is bueno...winning the PAC N or the PAC 12 championship. 


much of the team isn't back.  freshman QB, possible.  schedule isn't daunting.   and I think USC will be much better than you think. 



Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Starship on August 31, 2015, 02:36:46 PM
1. Auburn/Texas A&M on Nov. 7th will decide the sec west champ
2. Tennessee Vs Georgia on Oct. 10th will decide the sec east champ
3. Miles will officially be on the hotseat after back to back losses against State &  Auburn in early September
4. 2015 will be the final season of the Ole Ball Coach
5. Auburn & TCU will meet for the national championship
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: jmar on August 31, 2015, 03:32:28 PM
1. Auburn/Texas A&M on Nov. 7th will decide the sec west champ
2. Tennessee Vs Georgia on Oct. 10th will decide the sec east champ
3. Miles will officially be on the hotseat after back to back losses against State &  Auburn in early September
4. 2015 will be the final season of the Ole Ball Coach
5. Auburn & TCU will meet for the national championship
Stop right there you showy bastard. We don't cotton to people that know something about this game. In fact, (speaking for everyone but myself) we don't know, nor do we care what happens. Keep your thoughts to yourself.

Oh and Chizad! is your sponsor. Swell guy, anger issues.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: jmar on August 31, 2015, 05:57:03 PM
What make's you think Washington will be a surprise team this year?  Assuming surprise is bueno...winning the PAC N or the PAC 12 championship. 


much of the team isn't back.  freshman QB, possible.  schedule isn't daunting.   and I think USC will be much better than you think.
Stanford is not amused by any of your predictions and will destroy any hope for a Pacific Conference representative in the semi- finals.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Townhallsavoy on August 31, 2015, 06:40:12 PM
What make's you think Washington will be a surprise team this year?  Assuming surprise is bueno...winning the PAC N or the PAC 12 championship. 


much of the team isn't back.  freshman QB, possible.  schedule isn't daunting.   and I think USC will be much better than you think.

I like Chris Petersen.

The Pac 12 is going through an overhaul. Oregon is going to drop off without Mariota and I'm not a huge fan of Helfrich. I think USC has some issues with their head coach.

I think the Pac 12 is between Arizona and UCLA with Arizona State making a bit of a push. I think Washington though is the surprise team by being competitive and getting some upsets.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: bgreene on August 31, 2015, 09:19:28 PM
AU beats JSU!!!
I will be the only on here to go a 1000% by years end.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: wesfau2 on September 01, 2015, 09:12:28 AM
Some jackleg sports writer will be unable to resist throwing a jab re: the Cam fiasco.

Oh wait...it already happened:

That expectation comes with Chizik, who was a very good defensive coordinator before he became a very bad head coach who happened to luck (ahem) into Cam Newton at Auburn.

https://sports.yahoo.com/news/forde-yard-dash-032150183-ncaaf.html
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: chinook on September 01, 2015, 09:21:58 AM
I guarantee that by the end of the season, there will still be a bunch of dumbasses on the x. And a few of the gays.

Speaking of, welcome back from your suspension THS. You served it well.

i guarantee most, if not all, has grown tired of your shit. 
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: jmar on September 01, 2015, 09:35:15 AM
i guarantee most, if not all, has grown tired of your shit.
He's a wonderful man if you would just give him a chance. Please...he's come so far!
Slocumb maybe.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Godfather on September 01, 2015, 09:37:40 AM
I guarantee we have a winner for this years Battle for the Crown.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: chinook on September 01, 2015, 09:48:34 AM
I guarantee we have a winner for this years Battle for the Crown.

If I can get logged in...
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Godfather on September 01, 2015, 10:03:48 AM
If I can get logged in...
I guarantee I can have Snaggle cut a bitch.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Pell City Tiger on September 01, 2015, 10:19:45 AM
1. Auburn will lead the league in total offense.
2. Auburn will field a top 25 defense.
3. Navy will beat Army for the 300th straight year.
4. UAB will not field a team this year.
5. PCT uses the "Sand Mountain Suplex" to defeat Jeff Speegle outside Jordan-Hare Stadium immediately following the Georgia game. An open challenge is extended live on the air to any of the Birmingham sportscasters who "want some."
6. The playoff teams will be: tOSU, Washington, Baylor, and Auburn.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Godfather on September 01, 2015, 10:25:20 AM
I guarantee Buzz's wife is still awake.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: dallaswareagle on September 01, 2015, 10:29:01 AM
I guarantee that Mrs. Dallas during one game will say out loud, " I wonder what Buzz is doing"
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: WiregrassTiger on September 01, 2015, 10:30:14 AM
Some jackleg sports writer will be unable to resist throwing a jab re: the Cam fiasco.

Oh wait...it already happened:

That expectation comes with Chizik, who was a very good defensive coordinator before he became a very bad head coach who happened to luck (ahem) into Cam Newton at Auburn.

https://sports.yahoo.com/news/forde-yard-dash-032150183-ncaaf.html
The ahem is what pisses me off. Casting veiled aspersions will be the norm from now on, re: AU and Cam. All because of what happened at State. Guilty by association and because these "journalists" can't imagine Cecil saw the light and headed to AU for $0. So, it's o.k. in their eyes to do this--with a clear record from the NCAA and zero evidence that AU did anything wrong. So be it.

I say roll with. I typically respond by telling people that we endured investigations from the NCAA, SEC and most major sports news agencies from across the country and they are pissed because they found nothing.

There is no asterisk except in the feeble minds of our enemies. I don't care what they think.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Godfather on September 01, 2015, 10:38:52 AM
The ahem is what pisses me off. Casting veiled aspersions will be the norm from now on, re: AU and Cam. All because of what happened at State. Guilty be association and because these "journalists" can't imagine Cecil saw the light and headed to AU for $0. So, it's o.k. in their eyes to do this--with a clear record from the NCAA and zero evidence that AU did anything wrong. So be it.

I say roll with. I typically respond by telling people that we endured investigations from the NCAA, SEC and most major sports news agencies from across the country and they are pissed because they found nothing.

There is no asterisk except in the feeble minds of our enemies. I don't care what they think.

I will say this, I don't know if we offered him money or not or if we were involved in anyway at all.

What I do know is that the fucking NC2A, Media and everyone else was so far up Auburn's ass that you could see nose hairs and the result? They all had absolutely dick on us...nada...nothing.  Not even an out of place pubic hair. 

So to that I say suck on it haters!
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Snaggletiger on September 01, 2015, 11:26:57 AM
Yeah, we probably did pay Cecil. Got a dentist to off him later so that secret would die with him.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: dallaswareagle on September 01, 2015, 11:42:00 AM
I will say this, I don't know if we offered him money or not or if we were involved in anyway at all.

What I do know is that the fucking NC2A, Media and everyone else was so far up Auburn's ass that you could see nose hairs and the result? They all had absolutely dick on us...nada...nothing.  Not even an out of place pubic hair. 

So to that I say suck on it haters!


If we did , we got damn got our worth.  :aunc:
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: WiregrassTiger on September 01, 2015, 11:49:52 AM

If we did , we got damn got our worth.  :aunc:
Dude, you're killing us in the Iron Bowl of Grammar.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Buzz Killington on September 01, 2015, 03:40:27 PM
Dude, you're killing us in the Iron Bowl of Grammar.

Dallas is the .09
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Pell City Tiger on September 01, 2015, 03:43:30 PM
www.englishteachersagainstdallaswareagle.com
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: dallaswareagle on September 01, 2015, 03:46:09 PM
Dude, you're killing us in the Iron Bowl of Grammar.

So from now one when I want to say something slangeeeeeeeee I'll include this for those that live in the wiregrass.  :facepalm:   


:sarcasm:
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Snaggletiger on September 01, 2015, 04:04:46 PM
Roll Tideeeeeeeeee.....
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: dallaswareagle on September 01, 2015, 04:11:58 PM
Dallas is the .09

.09 is super keen, I am only about .05 (Regular keen)
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: dallaswareagle on September 01, 2015, 04:13:04 PM
www.englishteachersagainstdallaswareagle.com


You get some hits on that from Opelika High. (Assuming they are still alive)
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: ssgaufan on September 01, 2015, 04:26:22 PM
I guarantee that bama loses 3 games, and the meltdown is GLORIOUS!

I guarantee that Jacob Coker does NOT win the Heisman.

I guarantee that Kaos will continue to bitch about petty shit.

I guarantee that Arkansas and MState will finish at the bottom of the SEC-W.

I guarantee that JJ will be high on Kipers draft board at the end of the season, and we will all be hoping he decides to stay with us for one more year.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Godfather on September 01, 2015, 04:40:20 PM
I guarantee this is Saban's last year at the crap stain.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Snaggletiger on September 01, 2015, 04:54:07 PM
I guarantee this is Saban's last year at the crap stain.

I like where your head is at......which is apparently up your ass big boy.  You jest wish he's leavin'.  Nick Saybin'll be here til 2050.  An he's gone roll up about 47 more Nayshunal Champeenships on that ass for he's done.  Looser!
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: dallaswareagle on September 01, 2015, 05:14:47 PM
I guarantee this is Saban's last year at the crap stain.


Could be, I don't think he (his ego) likes what happen in the pros and wants another shot.


If he does he will mind melt all his college wisdom to Kirby Smart.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Snaggletiger on September 01, 2015, 05:23:07 PM
Gus loves him some Kirby.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Starship on September 01, 2015, 05:27:27 PM
I Guarantee Metallica will show up at the Georgia Dome on Saturday and perform  For Whom The Bell Tolls directed at Bobby P
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: chinook on September 01, 2015, 05:32:24 PM
www.englishteachersagainstdallaswareagle.com

you win. 
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: AUChizad on September 01, 2015, 05:52:58 PM
I guarantee this is Saban's last year at the crap stain.
That is the scuttlebutt.

http://footballscoop.com/news/footballscoop-predicts-biggest-coaching-surprises-of-2015/
Quote
FootballScoop Predicts: Biggest Coaching Surprises of 2015

With the 2015 football season finally upon us, each of FootballScoop’s primary writers – Scott Roussel, Zach Barnett and Doug Samuels – have offered one bold coaching prediction sure to come true this winter.

Scott (@FootballScoop): Nick Saban will not be Alabama’s coach for the 2016 season.

I can’t support it by reportable facts, and of course there is no pressure from the administration; but from folks in the profession, I keep hearing “Nick isn’t happy,” “Nick seems miserable,” “Nick is very frustrated,” and I can foresee the very real possibility that Nick pulls the rip cord and ejects from Tuscaloosa after this season. Where that parachute will land, well, that has to play out, but I don’t suspect T-Town will be Nick’s final coaching stop.

If true...and even if not...letting them score 55 goddamn points in last year's Iron Bowl rendering our 44 to be not enough to win, hurt our standing in the rivalry, and more specifically bolstered Saban's, way more than most people probably realize.

Saban is now 5-3 against Auburn in his eight years at Bama. If they win this year, he could go out beating us twice as often as he lost to us at 6-3. If they lose this year, hey, he still comes out on top at 5-4.

In an alternate universe where our defense could have limited them to *only* 43 points, the series is tied at 4-4. We could have played to take the lead in the series this year.

 :facepalm:
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Buzz Killington on September 01, 2015, 07:08:23 PM
He hates those inbreds, truth be told.  Would be in the playoff talk as the Tejas HC if the old geezer hadn't gotten angry like an old man trying to return his soup in a deli.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Pell City Tiger on September 01, 2015, 07:13:20 PM
He hates those inbreds, truth be told.  Would be in the playoff talk as the Tejas HC if the old geezer hadn't gotten angry like an old man trying to return his soup in a deli.
sabbin would be sitting on his porch in Austin right now watching armadillos shit in his yard if Mack Brown wasn't such a crotchety old bastard.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Godfather on September 01, 2015, 10:18:53 PM
sabbin would be sitting on his porch in Austin right now watching armadillos shit in his yard if Mack Brown wasn't such a crotchety old bastard.
It's like Buzz said it, then you said it the same...but different.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Buzz Killington on September 01, 2015, 10:24:45 PM
sabbin would be sitting on his porch in Austin right now watching armadillos shoot in his yard if Mack Brown wasn't such a crotchety old bastard.

This may be what runs him out of Turd Town...
http://legalschnauzer.blogspot.com/2015/09/robert-bentleys-2014-campaign-paid-more.html (http://legalschnauzer.blogspot.com/2015/09/robert-bentleys-2014-campaign-paid-more.html)
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: jmar on September 02, 2015, 06:32:55 AM
So from now one when I want to say something slangeeeeeeeee I'll include this for those that live in the wiregrass.  :facepalm:   


:sarcasm:
No, no, no! You blame it on the alkehol...ALWAYS.
It's the great equalizer and will puts you on equal footing with the rest of these looser's.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: WiregrassTiger on September 02, 2015, 07:20:11 AM
That is the scuttlebutt.

http://footballscoop.com/news/footballscoop-predicts-biggest-coaching-surprises-of-2015/
If true...and even if not...letting them score 55 goddamn points in last year's Iron Bowl rendering our 44 to be not enough to win, hurt our standing in the rivalry, and more specifically bolstered Saban's, way more than most people probably realize.

Saban is now 5-3 against Auburn in his eight years at Bama. If they win this year, he could go out beating us twice as often as he lost to us at 6-3. If they lose this year, hey, he still comes out on top at 5-4.

In an alternate universe where our defense could have limited them to *only* 43 points, the series is tied at 4-4. We could have played to take the lead in the series this year.

 :facepalm:
Great job on wins and losses numbers. But we need more data. if he wins this year and is 5-4, what percentage is that?

We need a graph. TIA. Appreciate all you do man. Missed you while you were gone and am amazed that I was able to hold this place together in your absence.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: jmar on September 02, 2015, 07:56:30 AM
We have a tremendous offensive mind in Malzahn. Has something to prove as a HC after last year's finish.


If we scruggle, the local media will be sniping. If we make the NCG win or lose the media will lay blame or say he's not giving enough credit to Muschamp or whomever...important thing is just win.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Godfather on September 02, 2015, 08:07:09 AM
No, no, no! You blame it on the alkehol...ALWAYS.
It's the great equalizer and will puts you on equal footing with the rest of these looser's.

I'll have you know that Snaggle is quite tight.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Catphish Tilly on September 02, 2015, 08:50:06 AM
Missed you while you were gone and am amazed that I was able to hold this place together in your absence.

Wait. Chizad left?  !
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: jmar on September 02, 2015, 09:24:12 AM
Wait. Chizad left?  !
He be full blown Twitter warrior.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: WiregrassTiger on September 02, 2015, 09:45:52 AM
Wait. Chizad left?  !
The real AUChizad! never left. It was AUChizad that "took a leave of absence" (ahem).
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: jmar on September 02, 2015, 09:56:59 AM
The real AUChizad! never left. It was AUChizad that "took a leave of absence" (ahem).
You take that ahem back right now.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Snaggletiger on September 02, 2015, 10:13:12 AM
I didn't get an ahem outta' that guy.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Buzz Killington on September 02, 2015, 10:34:02 AM
I didn't get an ahem outta' that guy.

Give the Snaggle an ahem!
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: dallaswareagle on September 02, 2015, 10:45:33 AM
Give the Snaggle an ahem!


ahems are not given, they are earned. 
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: jmar on September 02, 2015, 11:04:44 AM
An ahem is but a glorified meh.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Snaggletiger on September 02, 2015, 11:15:23 AM
-10


-10
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: jmar on September 02, 2015, 11:24:35 AM
-10


-10
Too uppity?
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Jumbo on September 02, 2015, 05:20:29 PM
Give the Snaggle an ahem!
Ahem.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Pell City Tiger on September 02, 2015, 05:26:33 PM
An ahem is but a glorified meh.
It's more of a subdued "harumpfh", but who is keeping score.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Snaggletiger on September 02, 2015, 05:37:57 PM
It's more of a subdued "harumpfh", but who is keeping score.

I get no kick from champagne.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Pell City Tiger on September 02, 2015, 05:40:46 PM
I get no kick from champagne.
Mongo just pawn in game of life.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Jumbo on September 02, 2015, 05:47:09 PM
I get no kick from champagne.
But I get a gas out of you.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Jumbo on September 02, 2015, 05:47:31 PM
Mongo just pawn in game of life.
Candy gram for Mongo.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Townhallsavoy on November 30, 2015, 07:48:51 AM



Guarantees for 2015:

Quote
- Auburn fans will be worried about the quarterback position on October 1st.

*It's not that Jeremy Johnson is going to suck or fail, but he has a difficult task going into this season. The opener is against Louisville in Atlanta, @LSU is week 3, and Miss State is week 4. While all three games are winnable, Johnson is a new quarterback working with a new offensive line. He's not going to be Uganda Cam until he gets a few games under his belt. Expect to hear some bitching as we hit the midseason.

Right and wrong.

Quote
- Alabama's defense will dominate, but their offense will cost them three games.

Should have been right.

Quote
- USC will go 6-6 and Sarkisian will resign or be fired.

The prophet...but somehow they finished the season by winning without the drunk.

Quote
- Washington will be the surprise team of the year.

Wrong.

Quote
- Georgia will go 9-3 or 10-2 and maybe reach the SECCG and lose and probably win their bowl game.

They went 9-3. Fired Richt. Did not see that coming.

Quote
- Ohio State will lose two games.

Hey, there's still time!

Quote
- Leonard Fournette will not be the starting running back for LSU by season's end.

Way wrong.

Quote
- Tennessee will represent the East in the SECCG.

Even wronger.

I should stop trying to predict things. How'd you do?
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Snaggletiger on November 30, 2015, 08:25:07 AM
I said brown.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: The Prowler on November 30, 2015, 08:25:56 AM
I didn't predict because everyone here now would be all like "...He's a Warlock, burn him!!!!!" And I've got enough on my plate to be dealing with that again.

My predictions would've been:
Roc Thomas will get hurt in every game he plays.

Jeremy Johnson will make us all wish that we had Kiehl Frazier instead.

Les Miles will be on the hot seat after the bama beat down.

Leonard Fournette will be the Heisman front runner, until the bama game, then he'll get passed by another bama cro-magnon/trigger fish teeth Derrick Henry.

Auburn's offense will suck worse than the defense.

Auburn won't finish the season anywhere close to the Top 25.

Duke Williams will begin to complain that he isn't getting the ball enough, get into a fight with Jeremy Johnson and some other players, then get kicked off the team.

The Ol Ball Coach will finally retire.

Coach Tuberville and Cincinnati will run the Spread better than Coach Malzahn.

UGA will finally fire Coach Richt, for what reason, I don't know...they just don't like winning apparently.

Miami will fire their Head Coach around midseason.

Auburn's Kicker will be the only player, on the team, up for any post season awards.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Buzz Killington on November 30, 2015, 08:30:17 AM
Burn him anyway!!!
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Buzz Killington on November 30, 2015, 08:38:15 AM
1.  Missouri will win the East for the third straight year.
2.  Florida will edge out Vandy for the cellar dwellar in the East.
3.  Ohio State and Alabama will have a rematch...in the Chick-Fil-A Bowl.
4.  Jeremy Johnson and Leonard Fournette both get the invite to New York and finish in the top 5 of the Heisman vote.
5.  Everybody will still hate dallas.

I got #5 right
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: GH2001 on November 30, 2015, 09:22:07 AM
I didn't predict because everyone here now would be all like "...He's a Warlock, burn him!!!!!" And I've got enough on my plate to be dealing with that again.

My predictions would've been:
Roc Thomas will get hurt in every game he plays.

Jeremy Johnson will make us all wish that we had Kiehl Frazier instead.

Les Miles will be on the hot seat after the bama beat down.

Leonard Fournette will be the Heisman front runner, until the bama game, then he'll get passed by another bama cro-magnon/trigger fish teeth Derrick Henry.

Auburn's offense will suck worse than the defense.

Auburn won't finish the season anywhere close to the Top 25.

Duke Williams will begin to complain that he isn't getting the ball enough, get into a fight with Jeremy Johnson and some other players, then get kicked off the team.

The Ol Ball Coach will finally retire.

Coach Tuberville and Cincinnati will run the Spread better than Coach Malzahn.

UGA will finally fire Coach Richt, for what reason, I don't know...they just don't like winning apparently.

Miami will fire their Head Coach around midseason.

Auburn's Kicker will be the only player, on the team, up for any post season awards.

Wow...you are such a good predictor after its all happened. Dem skreets is good.

Seriously though, the Tubs one is big. He doesn't have the poltics up there and is buddies with the AD. Hate that we will never have a comfortable environment for a HC to work in.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: AUJarhead on November 30, 2015, 10:00:01 AM
Burn him anyway!!!

Build a bridge out of him!
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: JR4AU on November 30, 2015, 12:35:26 PM
It's that time of year! I don't know if any of you stole this tradition like jmar did last year. I think it was him. Maybe not. We'll say it was him anyway.

But I'm back and ready to get this season kicked off the right way.

Guarantees for 2015:

- Auburn fans will be worried about the quarterback position on October 1st.

*It's not that Jeremy Johnson is going to suck or fail, but he has a difficult task going into this season. The opener is against Louisville in Atlanta, @LSU is week 3, and Miss State is week 4. While all three games are winnable, Johnson is a new quarterback working with a new offensive line. He's not going to be Uganda Cam until he gets a few games under his belt. Expect to hear some bitching as we hit the midseason.

- Alabama's defense will dominate, but their offense will cost them three games.

- USC will go 6-6 and Sarkisian will resign or be fired.

- Washington will be the surprise team of the year.

- Georgia will go 9-3 or 10-2 and maybe reach the SECCG and lose and probably win their bowl game.

- Ohio State will lose two games.

- Leonard Fournette will not be the starting running back for LSU by season's end.

- Tennessee will represent the East in the SECCG.

AU fans were not "worried" about the QB position, they were terrified JJ might play again.  +1/2pt.

Bama's D was arguable dominant, but there O was THAT atrocious.  +1/2 point.

USC 8-4, Sark fired, but not for that.  +1/2 point

Washington 6-6, surprise?  0 points. 

UGA 9-3, but you failed to include the obligatory yearly prediction of them firing Richt.  +1/2, (docking you a 1/2 for failing to predict Richt's firing which has been predicted by every prognosticator ever year for the last 10) total of 0, with bowl prediction yet to come for the other 1/2 of the point.

OSU 11-1 you skate on this one because I think you meant regular season, but didn't specify, so... yet to be seen.

Fournette?  -1.

UT?  -1


With 1 and 1/2 points still to be decided, you stand at -1/2pt out of a total of 8 possible.  (You can check my math, as I'm a lawyer, and don't cipher well.)


Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: GH2001 on November 30, 2015, 01:09:22 PM
AU fans were not "worried" about the QB position, they were terrified JJ might play again.  +1/2pt.

Bama's D was arguable dominant, but there O was THAT atrocious.  +1/2 point.

USC 8-4, Sark fired, but not for that.  +1/2 point

Washington 6-6, surprise?  0 points. 

UGA 9-3, but you failed to include the obligatory yearly prediction of them firing Richt.  +1/2, (docking you a 1/2 for failing to predict Richt's firing which has been predicted by every prognosticator ever year for the last 10) total of 0, with bowl prediction yet to come for the other 1/2 of the point.

OSU 11-1 you skate on this one because I think you meant regular season, but didn't specify, so... yet to be seen.

Fournette?  -1.

UT?  -1


With 1 and 1/2 points still to be decided, you stand at -1/2pt out of a total of 8 possible.  (You can check my math, as I'm a lawyer, and don't cipher well.)

Coming from you Bruce, that means a lot.

Chizad can help with the math.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: The Prowler on November 30, 2015, 02:52:05 PM
Okay, I'll make some predictions that'll happen this year...

Coach Rocker is coming back to Auburn, Coach Garner will stay on staff but will move to be the TE coach.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: GH2001 on November 30, 2015, 02:58:09 PM
Okay, I'll make some predictions that'll happen this year...

Coach Rocker is coming back to Auburn, Coach Garner will stay on staff but will move(°
 Coach Garner to TE coach.

The first one is all I want for Christmas.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Snaggletiger on November 30, 2015, 03:41:39 PM
I'll make a prediction.  Rocker will not come back to Auburn.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: chinook on November 30, 2015, 03:59:36 PM
Okay, I'll make some predictions that'll happen this year...

Coach Rocker is coming back to Auburn...

I'll make a prediction.  Rocker will not come back to Auburn.

I predict one of y'all will be right...the other wrong. 
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Buzz Killington on November 30, 2015, 04:05:05 PM
I predict one of y'all will be right...the other wrong.

You climb all the way out on that limb by yourself?
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Snaggletiger on November 30, 2015, 04:19:54 PM
I predict one of y'all will be right...the other wrong.

If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right.

During Rocker's time here, my cousin got to know him pretty well.  She said Rocker told her when the Titans reached out to him, he did the right thing and went straight to Jacobs to let him know he was going to listen to what they had to say.  Jacobs unceremoniously let him know he shouldn't let the screen door hit him where the good Lord split him. Made ZERO attempt to keep him at AU. 

Time may have changed things.  Money talks.  Glory lasts forever.  Chicks dig scars.  It's been an honor to share the field of battle with you....and other clichés. Damn it, how did that gay little mark get over the e?  Anyway, my guess would be that if Jacobs had sense enough to pursue Rocker, he'd most likely get told to shove it up his smug ass.  But then, the lure of coaching again at your alma tomater may be too great.

Like most of you, I'd love to see it happen. 
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: AUJarhead on November 30, 2015, 04:33:42 PM
During Rocker's time here, my cousin got to know him pretty well.  She said Rocker told her when the Titans reached out to him, he did the right thing and went straight to Jacobs to let him know he was going to listen to what they had to say.  Jacobs unceremoniously let him know he shouldn't let the screen door hit him where the good Lord split him. Made ZERO attempt to keep him at AU. 

Are you fucking kidding me?
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: The Prowler on November 30, 2015, 04:55:39 PM
Another prediction...Jeremy Johnson will transfer.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Kaos on November 30, 2015, 05:52:14 PM
Are you fucking kidding me?

I'm honestly surprised muschamo came back after Jacobs tried to fuck him over before.  I don't see rocker putting up with his shit again. 
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: AUJarhead on November 30, 2015, 05:59:36 PM
I'm honestly surprised muschamo came back after Jacobs tried to fudge him over before.  I don't see rocker putting up with his shoot again.

You throw enough $$$ my way and i would be happy to work with the biggest asshole I've worked with in consulting.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Snaggletiger on November 30, 2015, 06:43:09 PM
You throw enough $$$ my way and i would be happy to work with the biggest asshole I've worked with in consulting.

This....well that little $$$ thingy....that's the "This" part.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Kaos on November 30, 2015, 11:00:21 PM
I predict I'll slap the shit outta ya.
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Godfather on December 01, 2015, 09:20:07 AM
I guarantee that jmar will say something that none of us will understand.
Win
I guarantee Auburn's defense will be vastly improved.
Win
I guarantee Buzz has the hots for Mrs. dallaswareagle.
Win
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: Snaggletiger on December 01, 2015, 09:23:40 AM
A regular Nostra Dumbass.

Would you like to see the doctor?

What kind of doctor is he?

He's a foot doctor.

Well yeah, I've never seen a doctor that tall. 

SW
Title: Re: Guarantees for 2015
Post by: GH2001 on December 01, 2015, 10:31:06 AM
I predict I'll slap the shit outta ya.

Right through your computer?