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The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: Snaggletiger on December 13, 2023, 10:25:15 AM

Title: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Snaggletiger on December 13, 2023, 10:25:15 AM
Last night, Snagette went to a restaurant for a Christmas dinner with some of her cohorts from work.  Later on that night, I’m walking through the kitchen, and see a to-go box, which naturally draws the attention of my more than ample sized ass.  I open it to find what appears to be some form of delectable desert, possibly in the cheese cake family.  Well, Daddy needs a pinch of that goodness.  I break off a piece and quickly slam it in my hatch.

Before I can finish one chew, warning bells sound and alarms go off.  Without a touch, the water in the sink instinctively comes on, fully aware of my approach in order to expel the vile weed from my body, and hopefully save my own life.

The police are still holding Snagette for questioning.  All the evidence points to her intent to poison me; however, at the very least, she is guilty of gross negligence in leaving a tempting food substance in clear view, that contained….COCONUT!!! I am drawing up divorce papers as soon as I fully recover.

What’s that one food, or foods that shall never enter your pie-hole? 
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Snakebite on December 13, 2023, 10:51:03 AM
Last night, Snagette went to a restaurant for a Christmas dinner with some of her cohorts from work.  Later on that night, I’m walking through the kitchen, and see a to-go box, which naturally draws the attention of my more than ample sized ass.  I open it to find what appears to be some form of delectable desert, possibly in the cheese cake family.  Well, Daddy needs a pinch of that goodness.  I break off a piece and quickly slam it in my hatch.

Before I can finish one chew, warning bells sound and alarms go off.  Without a touch, the water in the sink instinctively comes on, fully aware of my approach in order to expel the vile weed from my body, and hopefully save my own life.

The police are still holding Snagette for questioning.  All the evidence points to her intent to poison me; however, at the very least, she is guilty of gross negligence in leaving a tempting food substance in clear view, that contained….COCONUT!!! I am drawing up divorce papers as soon as I fully recover.

What’s that one food, or foods that shall never enter your pie-hole?

Strawberries are very welcome to stay the hell away from me.  When I was a wee little lad I was eating a bag of them while also coming down with a stomach flu.  I threw up strawberries for the next 24 hours and have refused eating them ever since. 

I do, however, love me some coconut.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Buzz Killington on December 13, 2023, 10:54:41 AM
Coconut is also it for me. Hate, hate, hate the texture.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Kaos on December 13, 2023, 11:15:19 AM
Coconut flavor?  Yes.

The taste of coconut tanning lotion licked off the neck and stomach of a ..... nevermind.....   but YES, yes, yes!

Actual coconut strings?  Nope.  Never. 
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Snaggletiger on December 13, 2023, 11:25:58 AM
Exactly.  It's not the flavor.  It's the texture that instantly causes a gag reflex.  Coconut flavor in drinks etc. is okay.  But the texture, and the fact that I'll be crunching and going "thp" for the next two hours....
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Snaggletiger on December 13, 2023, 11:37:07 AM
Strawberries are very welcome to stay the hell away from me.  When I was a wee little lad I was eating a bag of them while also coming down with a stomach flu.  I threw up strawberries for the next 24 hours and have refused eating them ever since. 

I do, however, love me some coconut.

I think that happens to most people with a certain food, and obviously some drinks.  Mine is creamed corn.  I love corn, on the cob, or niblets.  But the thought of creamed corn brings back that time as a kid, that I got sick, and it was the creamed corn that I had with supper that seemed to be the only thing I was hurling.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: AUJarhead on December 13, 2023, 01:15:18 PM
Ranch dressing.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Snakebite on December 13, 2023, 01:20:48 PM
Ranch dressing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bo6sf5zveBU
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: The Six on December 13, 2023, 01:21:24 PM
Ass to mouth
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: wesfau2 on December 13, 2023, 01:40:37 PM
Ass to mouth

Sometimes...
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: CCTAU on December 13, 2023, 02:02:58 PM
Ass to mouth
This is not the route we were on...
Recalculating....
Recalculating...
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: CCTAU on December 13, 2023, 02:04:42 PM
I don't mind most foods. Coconut is fine.

Liver and onions is a no from me. However, I would not starve if that was all there was.

My fat ass will not be starving to death due to unwillingness to eat, ever.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: AUJarhead on December 13, 2023, 03:03:55 PM
Ass to mouth

You never go ass to mouth.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Kaos on December 13, 2023, 03:39:27 PM
You never go ass to mouth.

I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you there....
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: jmar on December 13, 2023, 06:33:03 PM
I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you there....
I'm trying not to think of dingleberries but go right ahead if you must. 
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Kaos on December 13, 2023, 06:52:30 PM
I'm trying not to think of dingleberries but go right ahead if you must.

It has to be washed. Like a vegetable.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: War Damn Six on December 13, 2023, 08:13:38 PM
There is nothing that is a hard no. Obviously none of you have ever been hungry or in the field at NTC. 

Pussies.  Wes gets a pass as a little person. Adam, you get a bit of a pass as an Air Force puss.

WT, you get no pass.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: AUJarhead on December 13, 2023, 10:14:26 PM
There is nothing that is a hard no. Obviously none of you have ever been hungry or in the field at NTC. 

I’d rather starve than eat potatoes all rotten in an MRE.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: GH2001 on December 13, 2023, 10:36:25 PM
Green Olives - they smell like feet. Bad stinky feet. They just gross me out. I can handle black olives minced up on a supreme pizza but green olives can go die in a fire.

Beef Liver - the texture. I just can’t. Organ meat, that’s a no for me dog.

Chitterlings - they literally smell like shit. Well, because…you know. Popular during a time when folks did without and had to get by. Eat or die. Now is not that time. There are better options. I just don’t get it.

Blue Cheese- glorified mold.


Pretty game for almost anything else. Not many fruits or veggies I won’t eat. Even love most mushrooms.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Snakebite on December 13, 2023, 10:39:29 PM
I’d rather starve than eat potatoes all rotten in an MRE.

I’ll go to the local surplus store for a Chili Mac one, though.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: wesfau2 on December 13, 2023, 11:07:01 PM


Chitterlings



Honestly the whitest thing you've ever said.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: GH2001 on December 14, 2023, 09:08:39 AM
Honestly the whitest thing you've ever said.

Know my audience though, ammarite?

Someone would have corrected me, either way. So the technically correct term it is.

It aint like I'm speaking to a group of brothers on here or something. Y'all some white ass folk.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: GH2001 on December 14, 2023, 09:09:59 AM
I’ll go to the local surplus store for a Chili Mac one, though.

Chili Mac is hard to F up...even in an MRE.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Kaos on December 14, 2023, 09:25:00 AM
There are things I will never eat.  All of these I’ve had once and refuse to ever have them again.

1. Tomatoes
2. Grapefruit
3. Chit’lins
4. Possum

Longest weekend of my life spent at a cabin in the woods where the only food available was possum, chit’lins, boiled sweet potatoes, and a can of sardines.  The sardines were gone Thursday night and I didn’t eat again until Monday. 
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: GH2001 on December 14, 2023, 09:38:34 AM
There are things I will never eat.  All of these I’ve had once and refuse to ever have them again.

1. Tomatoes
2. Grapefruit
3. Chit’lins
4. Possum

Longest weekend of my life spent at a cabin in the woods where the only food available was possum, chit’lins, boiled sweet potatoes, and a can of sardines.  The sardines were gone Thursday night and I didn’t eat again until Monday.

Serious question - do you like Ketchup? Just curious if its the texture of the tomato more than the flavor/taste.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Snaggletiger on December 14, 2023, 09:48:20 AM
Serious question - do you like Ketchup? Just curious if its the texture of the tomato more than the flavor/taste.

I'm a ketchup on everything/tomato on nothing kind of guy.  Not a fan of the texture or the taste.

Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Snaggletiger on December 14, 2023, 09:54:31 AM
Hold up....cucumbers.  Do not like the cucumber. 

Well, I'm not opposed to including the cucumber in a little kinky, fruits and vegetables, hot, sweaty monkey love session.

But, if a cucumber is in any dish, it totally dominates the taste.  I taste nothing else.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: WiregrassTiger on December 14, 2023, 12:37:12 PM
Hold up....cucumbers.  Do not like the cucumber. 

Well, I'm not opposed to including the cucumber in a little kinky, fruits and vegetables, hot, sweaty monkey love session.

But, if a cucumber is in any dish, it totally dominates the taste.  I taste nothing else.
You look like you like cucumbers stuck up your ass.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Snaggletiger on December 14, 2023, 12:46:56 PM
You look like you like cucumbers stuck up your ass.

RIF
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Kaos on December 14, 2023, 07:04:25 PM
Serious question - do you like Ketchup? Just curious if its the texture of the tomato more than the flavor/taste.

I could live without it.  Sometimes on a burger.  Occasionally on fries. 

I like spaghetti sauce unless it’s the chunky kind.  If I see a chunk I’m not eating it.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: WiregrassTiger on December 15, 2023, 11:49:32 AM
I could live without it.  Sometimes on a burger.  Occasionally on fries. 

I like spaghetti sauce unless it’s the chunky kind.  If I see a chunk I’m not eating it.
I wonder what will happen when K has to go to the re-education camp and they feed him nothing but tomatoes and water. Even if he refuses to eat I bet that cell is going to smell like shit.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: AUTailgatingRules on December 15, 2023, 05:03:50 PM
Coconut flavor?  Yes.

The taste of coconut tanning lotion licked off the neck and stomach of a ..... nevermind.....   but YES, yes, yes!

Actual coconut strings?  Nope.  Never.

I thought your no go food was tomato
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Kaos on December 15, 2023, 08:31:47 PM
I thought your no go food was tomato

It is. 

Coconut flavor is fine.  But eating shredded coconut is like putting your face in a giant hairy snatch and finding out the hair is a crotch wig. 
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Snakebite on December 15, 2023, 10:03:55 PM
It is. 

Coconut flavor is fine.  But eating shredded coconut is like putting your face in a giant hairy snatch and finding out the hair is a crotch wig.

Merkin is the Christian name.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Kaos on December 15, 2023, 10:16:15 PM
Merkin is the Christian name.

Ok.  A merkin sold to Barney Fife by Newton Monroe for Thelma Lou to wear.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Snakebite on December 16, 2023, 05:01:49 AM
(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/fd/48/32/fd48324b3ba885afe0fa14229ce8c8ff.gif)
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Ranger12 on December 19, 2023, 05:03:53 PM
Liver, beef or chicken. My grandfather and uncles all loved fried chicken livers and used to try to make me eat them. Liver has this strange, almost metallic taste, to me that I cannot get past. However, chicken livers are good for catching some decent sized catfish.

For a very long time I could not eat anything with spinach. Several years ago, I ate some spinach dip at a restaurant and then ended up with a stomach virus later that night. Spinach was vegetabillis non grata for quite some time.

Give me coconut in any form. My favorite cake is a good homemade coconut cake. My two favorite holiday deserts are a pistachio/watergate salad loaded with coconut and homemade Almond Joy balls.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: wesfau2 on December 19, 2023, 05:12:54 PM
Liver, beef or chicken. My grandfather and uncles all loved fried chicken livers and used to try to make me eat them. Liver has this strange, almost metallic taste, to me that I cannot get past. However, chicken livers are good for catching some decent sized catfish.

For a very long time I could not eat anything with spinach. Several years ago, I ate some spinach dip at a restaurant and then ended up with a stomach virus later that night. Spinach was vegetabillis non grata for quite some time.

Give me coconut in any form. My favorite cake is a good homemade coconut cake. My tw favorite holiday deserts are a pistachio/watergate salad loaded with coconut and homemade Almond Joy balls.

mfer likes balls in his mouf.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Snaggletiger on December 19, 2023, 05:14:52 PM
Liver, beef or chicken. My grandfather and uncles all loved fried chicken livers and used to try to make me eat them. Liver has this strange, almost metallic taste, to me that I cannot get past. However, chicken livers are good for catching some decent sized catfish.

For a very long time I could not eat anything with spinach. Several years ago, I ate some spinach dip at a restaurant and then ended up with a stomach virus later that night. Spinach was vegetabillis non grata for quite some time.

Give me coconut in any form. My favorite cake is a good homemade coconut cake. My tw favorite holiday deserts are a pistachio/watergate salad loaded with coconut and homemade Almond Joy balls.

May I just say, long time, no see....and you are a sick, deranged man.

May you be force fed a  12 ounce liver sammich, with spinach.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Ranger12 on December 19, 2023, 05:19:33 PM
mfer likes balls in his mouf.

Thought that was SOP for this crowd.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Snaggletiger on December 19, 2023, 05:25:30 PM
Thought that was SOP for this crowd.

Oh, you must have met Wiregrass Tiger.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: War Damn Six on December 19, 2023, 06:26:00 PM
I had some good gas station chicken livers this past weekend. 

I also love me some calf fries or lamb fries, speaking of balls in the mouf. 
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Snakebite on December 19, 2023, 07:59:13 PM
Thought that was SOP for this crowd.

You got your tab, 12? Or does the prefix have alternate meaning?
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Ranger12 on December 20, 2023, 04:40:20 PM
May I just say, long time, no see....and you are a sick, deranged man.

May you be force fed a  12 ounce liver sammich, with spinach.

Yeah, been a minute since I have been on the boards. I have looked in from time to time to check if the collective intelligence level of the board has gotten any better. Good to see nothing has changed.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Snaggletiger on December 20, 2023, 04:47:01 PM
Yeah, been a minute since I have been on the boards. I have looked in from time to time to check if the collective intelligence level of the board has gotten any better. Good to see nothing has changed.

Obviously, you're not very observant.  The collective IQ on this board has most certainly dropped by a good 25-30%.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: wesfau2 on December 20, 2023, 04:48:50 PM
Yeah, been a minute since I have been on the boards. I have looked in from time to time to check if the collective intelligence level of the board has gotten any better. Good to see nothing has changed.

Ranger shows up: board IQ dips, he observes, Ranger leaves, board IQ rises.

Curious.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: CCTAU on December 21, 2023, 12:22:46 AM
Liver, beef or chicken. My grandfather and uncles all loved fried chicken livers and used to try to make me eat them. Liver has this strange, almost metallic taste, to me that I cannot get past. However, chicken livers are good for catching some decent sized catfish.

For a very long time I could not eat anything with spinach. Several years ago, I ate some spinach dip at a restaurant and then ended up with a stomach virus later that night. Spinach was vegetabillis non grata for quite some time.

Give me coconut in any form. My favorite cake is a good homemade coconut cake. My two favorite holiday deserts are a pistachio/watergate salad loaded with coconut and homemade Almond Joy balls.

I was never a spinach lover. However the spinach dip became a favorite of mine. And here lately I have been ordering the grouper piccata at The Grand Marlin here in PCB. It sits on a bed of mashed potatoes with spinach and capers. And it’s delicious. So now I can say, “I eats me spinach”!
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Ranger12 on December 21, 2023, 05:16:51 PM
You got your tab, 12? Or does the prefix have alternate meaning?

Yup, slummed around Benning, Rudder, and Merrill for a little bit back in the early 90s. You?
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Snakebite on December 21, 2023, 05:19:35 PM

Yup, slummed around Benning, Rudder, and Merrill for a little bit back in the early 90s. You?

Chair Force at Pope/Bragg in the 2010's.  Worked with a lot of your kind, though @ McCall and in the compound. 
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Ranger12 on December 21, 2023, 05:24:14 PM
Chair Force at Pope/Bragg in the 2010's.  Worked with a lot of your kind, though @ McCall and in the compound.

Nice. My son is an F-15E crew chief stationed at Seymour-Johnson.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: wesfau2 on December 22, 2023, 09:36:38 AM
Seymour-Johnson.

You serious, Clark?
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Snakebite on December 22, 2023, 09:54:01 AM
You serious, Clark?

It’s a real place. Had to go to Seymour-Johnson quite a few times, just out of curiosity.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Ranger12 on December 22, 2023, 03:33:51 PM
You serious, Clark?

Well sure Eddie.

And to quote another great Christmas movie…
“He just won an award!”

Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: WiregrassTiger on January 02, 2024, 03:25:37 PM

Yup, slummed around Benning, Rudder, and Merrill for a little bit back in the early 90s. You?
I was in the Webelos in the late 70’s around camp Alaflo. I did not go special forces but would have likely completed Ranger training pretty quickly due to my background in scouting.

Jarhead claims to be a marine. He would be more readily accepted today than when he served. Don’t ask don’t tell was not an easy period. That’s what fucked Sani up so bad, mentally.

You may remember Dallas.  They were using Dallas to interview Isis combatants that we caught but they had a 100% suicide rate after less than an hour with him. Just say “military” around Dallas and sit the fuck down. You’re in for some stories that mostly never happened but he truly believes that Rambo was based on his life experiences.

On a serious note, what is the difference between Rangers and Green Beret? I have a friend who was green beret . I asked him but I don’t recall his explanation.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Snaggletiger on January 02, 2024, 03:40:42 PM

On a serious note, what is the difference between Rangers and Green Beret? I have a friend who was green beret . I asked him but I don’t recall his explanation.

I had a girl once who wore a raspberry beret.  The kind you find in a second hand store.  Come to think of it, if it was warm, she wouldn't wear much more.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: WiregrassTiger on January 02, 2024, 03:51:32 PM
I had a girl once who wore a raspberry beret.  The kind you find in a second hand store.  Come to think of it, if it was warm, she wouldn't wear much more.
I promise with my hand up and as the Good Lord is my witness, I am not starting out 2024 like this.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Jumbo on January 02, 2024, 06:45:22 PM
You never go ass to mouth.
Better listen to him, he's in pre-med.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: War Damn Six on January 02, 2024, 08:32:30 PM
Better listen to him, he's in pre-med.

I thought he was pre-law.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: War Damn Six on January 02, 2024, 08:41:14 PM
On a serious note, what is the difference between Rangers and Green Beret? I have a friend who was green beret . I asked him but I don’t recall his explanation.

I am neither but I will take a stab at this…

Rangers are an elite military branch of mostly infantry grunts that specialize in early insertion missions, covert ops and general badassery. 

Green Berets (or Special Forces, SF for short) are an eliter military branch of all sorts that specialize in early insertion missions, covert ops and general badassery. 

Bottom line, Ranger school breaks you mentally and physically and makes you learn small unit ops and leadership.  SF Qualification Course breaks you mentally and physically (just not quite as much) and makes you learn all sorts of cool shit. 

If you ever run into either and they don’t say much, they’ve seen some shit.   
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: Snakebite on January 02, 2024, 09:06:58 PM
I am neither but I will take a stab at this…

Rangers are an elite military branch of mostly infantry grunts that specialize in early insertion missions, covert ops and general badassery. 

Green Berets (or Special Forces, SF for short) are an eliter military branch of all sorts that specialize in early insertion missions, covert ops and general badassery. 

Bottom line, Ranger school breaks you mentally and physically and makes you learn small unit ops and leadership.  SF Qualification Course breaks you mentally and physically (just not quite as much) and makes you learn all sorts of cool shit. 

If you ever run into either and they don’t say much, they’ve seen some shit.

Green Beret missions have heavy focus on training/developing guerrilla forces consisting of local nationals to fight authoritarianism, whether in government, cartel, or extremist form. All of ‘em are badass. I wanted to be a PJ. I couldn’t even fake pass the Ishihara test. I’m Ray Charles on seeing red or green.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: CCTAU on January 03, 2024, 12:18:47 AM
I couldn’t even fake pass the Ishihara test. I’m Ray Charles on seeing red or green.
I tried to get the easy test also. But I was in AU where the doctor was modern. She kept asking what number I saw. I was thinking, “Bitch, there ain’t no number there!” Needless to say, I wasn’t going to be asked to fly shit.
I did pretty well on the AFOQT though. They cut the boards and I never followed up.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: AUJarhead on January 03, 2024, 09:02:06 AM
I couldn’t even fake pass the Ishihara test. I’m Ray Charles on seeing red or green.

Same thing happened to me at MEPS when I did my initial physical.  What do you see?  "Ummmm, couple of wavy lines."

"Anyone ever tell you that you're color blind?"

"No, sir."

"I just did."

When I talked to my recruiter about it, "what's this mean?"  "You can't defuse bombs."  Darn.
Title: Re: Never, Ever, Ever....
Post by: CCTAU on January 03, 2024, 03:09:47 PM
When I talked to my recruiter about it, "what's this mean?"  "You can't defuse bombs."  Darn.

St Peter, "Why are you here"?

You, "Well the wire looked yellow to me"!