Outbound from Bham to Glendale in January of 2011 with a certain purloiner of headwear.  The plane is fully boarded and the flight attendant starts walking down the aisle, making eye contact.  Cool, upgrade city, baby!

"Would you mind taking a later flight?"
"Say what, now?"
"We're slightly overweight and the manifest shows that you're flying alone, so we thought we'd offer you a voucher to take a later flight."
"A: the lady in the seat next to me will need the same accommodation; and B: I'm not svelte, but if my (then) 185 lb ass is going to make or break this thing getting off the ground, we have MUCH bigger issues."

  In defense of the flight attendant, she (or he) was making an assumption that if you were normal height you’d be 185 x 2.

Outbound from Bham to Glendale in January of 2011 with a certain purloiner of headwear.  The plane is fully boarded and the flight attendant starts walking down the aisle, making eye contact.  Cool, upgrade city, baby!

"Would you mind taking a later flight?"
"Say what, now?"
"We're slightly overweight and the manifest shows that you're flying alone, so we thought we'd offer you a voucher to take a later flight."
"A: the lady in the seat next to me will need the same accommodation; and B: I'm not svelte, but if my (then) 185 lb ass is going to make or break this thing getting off the ground, we have MUCH bigger issues."

Give Token a break. Stamping out crime makes you hungry.

We just listed to the left on takeoff.  No joke.

We were up at the Shakespeare Festival last weekend. Snagette pointed over to our left and said, "No way."

This woman had to go 485 and was about to try and squeeze those hips into a seat.  Remember at the start of Nutty Professor, when Professor Klump gets called into the Dean's office for a conference, and he has to exhale about 5 seconds before his ass can get between the arms of the chair? I'm not sure if she was actually in the seat, or on top of it.

On a similar note, we were thankful it wasn't a sellout, and plenty of seats behind us.  Not sure which one it was, maybe both, but this couple plops down right in front of us, and the body odor was so pungent, I got up and asked the usher to put us somewhere else.  She did, and said that funk hit her on the way in too. 

People, even in this economy, a bar of soap is just not that expensive.  Get it.  Use it!!!   

If you can’t fit into an airplane seat, buy two.   

I get people with problems but the guy next to me today is just fat.  I am 2” inside my seat and he is still touching me at three points because his fat is overlapping everywhere. 

Fuck it, even if you have a problem, buy two seats.  Hell, buy first class.  That would be cheaper.