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The Library => The SGA => Topic started by: AUTailgatingRules on February 12, 2008, 11:30:22 AM

Title: Another Politically Incorrect Joke
Post by: AUTailgatingRules on February 12, 2008, 11:30:22 AM
GOD BLESS THE AMISH 

An Amish farmer walking through his field, notices a man drinking from his pond, with his hand.  The Amish man shouts: "Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen."   Which translantes as: "Don't drink the water, the cows have crapped in it."

 

 

The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand.  Please speak in English."

 

The Amish Farmer shouts back: "Use two hands. You'll get more."

 

Title: Re: Another Politically Incorrect Joke
Post by: Tarheel on February 13, 2008, 03:16:24 PM
Actually
Quote
geschissen
means 'shitted' not crapped...but the joke is still great!  Followers of the Religion of Piss should trinken geshissenwasser.

Gott bless the Amish indeed!
Title: Re: Another Politically Incorrect Joke
Post by: Lurking Tiger on February 15, 2008, 08:25:06 PM
A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below.

She shouts to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consults his portable GPS and replies, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolls her eyes and says, "You must be a Republican!"

"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answers the balloonist, everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you're not much help to me."

The man smiles and responds, "You must be a Democrat."

 "I am," replies the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault.
Title: Re: Another Politically Incorrect Joke
Post by: Tarheel on February 15, 2008, 10:16:09 PM
A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below.

She shouts to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consults his portable GPS and replies, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolls her eyes and says, "You must be a Republican!"

"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answers the balloonist, everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you're not much help to me."

The man smiles and responds, "You must be a Democrat."

 "I am," replies the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault.

Great classic joke!  All I can do is refer you to my signature comments by Mark Twain regarding Congress (and Democrats I like to think).
Title: Re: Another Politically Incorrect Joke
Post by: Tarheel on February 15, 2008, 10:19:16 PM
Or this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNfhsUcyld0