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The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: Snaggletiger on January 13, 2022, 12:16:00 PM

Title: Face Palm
Post by: Snaggletiger on January 13, 2022, 12:16:00 PM
This comes directly from the Kaos Book of Whoa.  A lady comes to us after being hit and knocked off the road by a guy driving an Enterprise Rent A Car.  We just had an employee leave us, so we’re short-handed. The driver of the other car never responded to us, so I’m trying to track down a claim with Enterprise.  I start with the local office.

  Sir, you’ll have to call this number right here.  Gives me the number

Thank you, dials number.

Theenk you forda cohlling, Eentedaprise. Keen I heps you?

I explain that I’m trying to track down a claim for this accident.

Oh you mest cohl dee cleems depadament.  Let me geeve you the numada. 

It takes 3 times repeating to understand the correct number. Dials number.

( in Spanish accent)  Emergency road service.  Where are you broken down?

Holy shit.  I’m not broken down.  I’m an attorney trying to track down a claim on a wreck.

This is the emergency road side service.  You’ll have to call this number.

3 more times to understand the correct number.  I dial it.

Damage department, can I help you?

I have no idea what this accent was.  Suffice it to say, everything had to be repeated.  I explain again the reason for my call.

Oh no, you will have to call this number.  They can help you.

Good morning.  Law enforcement division.

Law enforcement?  WTF?  Yes, I’m an attorney for….

Attorney?  You’re not in law enforcement?

No, I’m just trying to track down a claim for a wreck involving an Enterprise Rent A Car. I’ve explained my situation 3 or 4 times already and they sent me to you. 

Let me give you this number to report a claim.

I call the number and the lady says I’ll have to report the claim via this email address….

No shit, I was given 6 different numbers and an email address to simply report, or try to find a claim. The local office couldn’t handle that task.  Neither could the next person, or the next person, or the next person or the next….And it wasn’t until the last person, who gave me the email, that I talked to somebody who didn’t have a foreign, virtually unintelligible accent.  The email has been sent.  I can’t wait to see the response, or lack thereof.       
Title: Re: Face Palm
Post by: The Six on January 14, 2022, 09:40:23 AM
Serious question, how do you even bill that out - all that time spent going in circles?
Title: Re: Face Palm
Post by: Snaggletiger on January 14, 2022, 09:42:19 AM
Serious question, how do you even bill that out - all that time spent going in circles?

Unfortunately, I don't bill hourly.  We work on a contingent fee basis.  The only way we get paid is to get the client's case settled.  So yeah, there's a butt load of going in circles to get there.
Title: Re: Face Palm
Post by: wesfau2 on January 14, 2022, 09:55:37 AM
Unfortunately, I don't bill hourly. 

Drop the "un".  Hourly billing is the worst part of the traditional practice of law.  It's bad for the lawyer, it's bad for the client.  It fucking sucks.
Title: Re: Face Palm
Post by: Snaggletiger on January 14, 2022, 11:27:19 AM
Drop the "un".  Hourly billing is the worst part of the traditional practice of law.  It's bad for the lawyer, it's bad for the client.  It fucking sucks.

I want to do both.
Title: Re: Face Palm
Post by: WiregrassTiger on January 14, 2022, 12:47:40 PM
I want to do both.
I can vouch that he loves the suck part.
Title: Re: Face Palm
Post by: Kaos on January 14, 2022, 12:49:10 PM
I want to do both.

Last time I said that I got slapped.
Title: Re: Face Palm
Post by: Buzz Killington on January 14, 2022, 12:54:58 PM
I want to do both.
Isn't that just like you lawyers!?!?!?!?  Charge me a huge fee up front then hit me with hourly charges too. 
Title: Re: Face Palm
Post by: WiregrassTiger on January 14, 2022, 01:19:34 PM
Isn't that just like you lawyers!?!?!?!?  Charge me a huge fee up front then hit me with hourly charges too.
he has never charged me for the sucking.