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The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: Buzz Killington on April 30, 2014, 04:11:28 PM

Title: "You will lead a long and prosperous life"
Post by: Buzz Killington on April 30, 2014, 04:11:28 PM
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/30/fortune-cookie-mixer-death_n_5239991.html?&ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000067 (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/30/fortune-cookie-mixer-death_n_5239991.html?&ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000067)

Quote
Man Found Dead Inside Fortune Cookie Dough Mixer

Police in Texas are investigating the death of a 26-year-old man who investigators believe perished inside an industrial fortune cookie dough mixer.

Authorities say that the unnamed man was operating the machine on Sunday when another worker at the Wonton Food company in Houston discovered his body inside the mixer, KHOU reports.

An autopsy will be performed by the Harris County Institute of Forensic Sciences.

According to Houston Press:

Quote
Wonton, which has a huge factory in New York and others around the country, is actually known as one of the leading providers of fortune cookies around the world. It also makes other Asian food under the Golden Bowl brand.
No foul play is suspected.
Title: Re: "You will lead a long and prosperous life"
Post by: Snaggletiger on April 30, 2014, 04:23:41 PM
I stuck my dick in the pickle slicer at work.
Title: Re: "You will lead a long and prosperous life"
Post by: chinook on April 30, 2014, 11:24:21 PM
Quote from: Snaggletiger on April 30, 2014, 04:23:41 PM
I stuck my dick in the pickle slicer at work.

and your skirt took the tin snips to your balls. 
Title: Re: "You will lead a long and prosperous life"
Post by: Snaggletiger on May 01, 2014, 09:42:05 AM
Quote from: chinook on April 30, 2014, 11:24:21 PM
and your skirt took the tin snips to your balls.

No, the punch line is....and we both got fired.

And it was a butcher knife, not tin snips Mr. Smarty McSmartpants
Title: Re: "You will lead a long and prosperous life"
Post by: Tiger Wench on May 01, 2014, 11:03:33 AM
Quote from: Snaggletiger on May 01, 2014, 09:42:05 AM
No, the punch line is....and we both got fired.

And it was a butcher knife, not tin snips Mr. Smarty McSmartpants

Butcher knife?  That's a bit of overkill.  I heard it was a paring knife.  Fit the right tool to the job at hand...
Title: Re: "You will lead a long and prosperous life"
Post by: Saniflush on May 01, 2014, 11:09:09 AM
Quote from: Tiger Wench on May 01, 2014, 11:03:33 AM
Butcher knife?  That's a bit of overkill.  I heard it was a paring knife.  Fit the right tool to the job at hand...

I heard olive fork.
Title: Re: "You will lead a long and prosperous life"
Post by: Snaggletiger on May 01, 2014, 11:12:02 AM
Sling Blade
Title: Re: "You will lead a long and prosperous life"
Post by: wesfau2 on May 01, 2014, 12:01:46 PM
Quote from: Snaggletiger on May 01, 2014, 11:12:02 AM
Sling Blade

Some folks call it a "kaiser blade." 


Mmmmmmmmhmmmmmmm.
Title: Re: "You will lead a long and prosperous life"
Post by: Snaggletiger on May 01, 2014, 12:09:05 PM
Quote from: wesfau2 on May 01, 2014, 12:01:46 PM
Some folks call it a "kaiser blade." 


Mmmmmmmmhmmmmmmm.

Ever think of killing yourself on purpose like my daddy done?
Title: Re: "You will lead a long and prosperous life"
Post by: AWK on May 01, 2014, 04:18:42 PM
Quote from: Tiger Wench on May 01, 2014, 11:03:33 AM
Butcher knife?  That's a bit of overkill.  I heard it was a paring knife.  Fit the right tool to the job at hand...
A hand...job?