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The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: Token on October 18, 2010, 10:30:28 PM

Title: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Token on October 18, 2010, 10:30:28 PM
So I've been doing kegel exercises for about a month now.  The upside has proven to be magnificent,  but the down side is much worse than the upside is better.  I can't shit.  No, really.  It feels like I'm trying to squeeze a 58 Buick Roadmaster out of my ass.  I mean, Christmas is getting close and I'd really like to surprise my wife with a prodigious amount of milky goodness across the bridge of her nose and into both eyes, but I don't want to be found dead on the john with a brain aneurysm. 

Can I get a prescription for a few hundred epidurals?  Or should I just start eating taco meat 3 times a day?

I did warn you.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: AUTiger1 on October 18, 2010, 10:57:42 PM
Only on the X!
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Saniflush on October 19, 2010, 07:05:20 AM
I have no answer for the main issue but let me say nothing says yule tide greetings like a shot across the bow.

Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: JR4AU on October 19, 2010, 08:05:18 AM
So I've been doing kegel exercises for about a month now.  The upside has proven to be magnificent,  but the down side is much worse than the upside is better.  I can't shit.  No, really.  It feels like I'm trying to squeeze a 58 Buick Roadmaster out of my ass.  I mean, Christmas is getting close and I'd really like to surprise my wife with a prodigious amount of milky goodness across the bridge of her nose and into both eyes, but I don't want to be found dead on the john with a brain aneurysm. 

Can I get a prescription for a few hundred epidurals?  Or should I just start eating taco meat 3 times a day?

I did warn you.

Some of the chili I made Saturday should do the trick.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: JR4AU on October 19, 2010, 08:16:13 AM
Oh, good, strong, hot coffee works too.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Godfather on October 19, 2010, 09:21:47 AM
Fiber.   Have some yogurt in the morning and then lots of salad.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Buzz Killington on October 19, 2010, 09:35:59 AM
Fiber.   Have some yogurt in the morning and then lots of salad.

I am really getting sick of all these gay hijac....wait, what?
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Snaggletiger on October 19, 2010, 09:46:04 AM
Regularityability has never been my problem (As my family can attest) so I gots nothin' for ya'.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: wesfau2 on October 19, 2010, 09:50:54 AM
Fiber.   Have some yogurt in the morning and then lots of salad.

Oatmeal.

That stuff is miraculous.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Buzz Killington on October 19, 2010, 10:10:39 AM
Try eating a bran muffin and some strong coffee for breakfast every day for a week.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Tiger Wench on October 19, 2010, 10:12:02 AM
PLEASE tell me this is a riff off of some stupid movie...

Please...
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Saniflush on October 19, 2010, 10:19:07 AM
PLEASE tell me this is a riff off of some stupid movie...

Please...
It's not.
Toke try this now that the nights are getting cooler.
Taco Soup

2 lbs. hamburger
1 medium onion (cut up)
1 can red beans
1 can black beans
1 can pinto beans
1 can Rotel (I use original)
2 cans white corn
2 pkgs. Taco seasoning mix
2 pkgs. Ranch dressing mix
2 cups water

Brown hamburger meat with onion till done.  Add all other ingredients (without draining) and let simmer.  Serve with tostitos (or fritos), grated cheese and sour cream.

*Note:  You can use any type of beans you like.  I usually use only 2 cans of red beans.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Godfather on October 19, 2010, 10:26:59 AM
It's not.
Toke try this now that the nights are getting cooler.
Taco Soup

2 lbs. hamburger
1 medium onion (cut up)
1 can red beans
1 can black beans
1 can pinto beans
1 can Rotel (I use original)
2 cans white corn
2 pkgs. Taco seasoning mix
2 pkgs. Ranch dressing mix
2 cups water

Brown hamburger meat with onion till done.  Add all other ingredients (without draining) and let simmer.  Serve with tostitos (or fritos), grated cheese and sour cream.

*Note:  You can use any type of beans you like.  I usually use only 2 cans of red beans.

That sounds good, gonna give that one to Mrs. GF
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Saniflush on October 19, 2010, 10:33:02 AM
That sounds good, gonna give that one to Mrs. GF

it is.  Gonna make it tonight myself.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: AUTiger1 on October 19, 2010, 10:35:28 AM
It's not.
Toke try this now that the nights are getting cooler.
Taco Soup

2 lbs. hamburger
1 medium onion (cut up)
1 can red beans
1 can black beans
1 can pinto beans
1 can Rotel (I use original)
2 cans white corn
2 pkgs. Taco seasoning mix
2 pkgs. Ranch dressing mix
2 cups water

Brown hamburger meat with onion till done.  Add all other ingredients (without draining) and let simmer.  Serve with tostitos (or fritos), grated cheese and sour cream.

*Note:  You can use any type of beans you like.  I usually use only 2 cans of red beans.
:shit:
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Buzz Killington on October 19, 2010, 10:36:09 AM
It's not.
Toke try this now that the nights are getting cooler.
Taco Soup

2 lbs. hamburger
1 medium onion (cut up)
1 can red beans
1 can black beans
1 can pinto beans
1 can Rotel (I use original)
2 cans white corn
2 pkgs. Taco seasoning mix
2 pkgs. Ranch dressing mix
2 cups water

Brown hamburger meat with onion till done.  Add all other ingredients (without draining) and let simmer.  Serve with tostitos (or fritos), grated cheese and sour cream.

*Note:  You can use any type of beans you like.  I usually use only 2 cans of red beans.

^^^This too^^^

Mrs. Killington usually makes this a couple of times throughout the winter.  It is delicious and functional.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Snaggletiger on October 19, 2010, 10:47:28 AM
A thread about dropping a growler goes viral in about 2 hours.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Tiger Wench on October 19, 2010, 10:48:06 AM
That is an absolute wintertime favorite at my house.  It also freezes very well - use the quart size freezer bags for any extra (lay them flat to freeze) - one quart bag will generally hold a single serving, so any leftovers can be saved and reheated as your colon dictates.

A friend of mine and I were talking about that recipe this weekend, and we wondered about substituting a cajan spice mix for the taco powder and making it a cajun bean soup... A package of taco seasoning is about 2.5 tablespoons - if you use two packages of taco seasoning, that's five tbsp - i don't know that I would put that many tablespoons of Tony Chachere's in there unless you use the low salt one.  Maybe try two tbsp of Tony's and then add more to taste.  Serve with fresh french bread instead of chips.

OH - be sure to drain the cans of corn.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: AWK on October 19, 2010, 12:19:40 PM
A cup of coffee and a cigarette will get your feces a flowin'.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: djsimp on October 19, 2010, 12:24:04 PM
One word....Fleet.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Buzz Killington on October 19, 2010, 12:29:01 PM
One word....Fleet.

Another word...Jumbo.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Jumbo on October 19, 2010, 12:32:52 PM
Another word...Jumbo.
I couldn't possible get to him until next Tuesday.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Godfather on October 19, 2010, 12:36:11 PM
I couldn't possible get to him until next Tuesday.
That deep in it?
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: djsimp on October 19, 2010, 12:47:43 PM
That deep in it?

down to the elbow
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Saniflush on October 19, 2010, 01:20:39 PM
I couldn't possible get to him until next Tuesday.

I got your slack brother.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: AuburnChopper 3.0 on October 19, 2010, 02:47:10 PM
Couple cups of coffee and an extra long chili cheese coney from Sonic.  You're welcome.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: eagleair89 on October 19, 2010, 03:04:50 PM
Castor Oil will make you blow out like the Deep Horizon.

  (http://www.sterlingorganics.com/images/CastorOil.jpg)

 :bar:
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Godfather on October 19, 2010, 03:15:28 PM
(http://www.tigersx.com/images/crap.jpg)
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Token on October 19, 2010, 03:27:03 PM
Damn.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: djsimp on October 19, 2010, 04:14:28 PM
(http://www.tigersx.com/images/crap.jpg)
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: War Eagle!!! on October 19, 2010, 04:21:24 PM
Damn.

I am guessing that is a fark?

If so...that shit is funny...
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Lurking Tiger on October 19, 2010, 05:03:54 PM
Eat all the cheese that you can get your hands on.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: wesfau2 on October 19, 2010, 05:07:11 PM
Eat all the cheese that you can get your hands on.

I figured you would suggest eating at the Delta stews' company cafeteria. 

Proven results.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Lurking Tiger on October 19, 2010, 05:23:10 PM
I figured you would suggest eating at the Delta stews' company cafeteria. 

Proven results.

Vomit on ONE stewardess in mid shit, in an airplane bathroom, and no one lets you forget.

Damn you Al Gore and your interweb.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Townhallsavoy on October 19, 2010, 05:27:26 PM
Wait...wait..wait..kegel exercises work?   

Next thing you'll say is that Extenze made your penis longer.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Token on October 19, 2010, 07:19:16 PM
Wait...wait..wait..kegel exercises work?   

Next thing you'll say is that Extenze made your penis longer.

Don't judge me.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Townhallsavoy on October 19, 2010, 10:49:02 PM
Don't judge me.

Judge you? 

My God, man.  I'm not judging you.  I'm hoping you confirm that both of them work so I can get started right away!
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: JR4AU on October 20, 2010, 08:47:19 AM
Judge you? 

My God, man.  I'm not judging you.  I'm hoping you confirm that both of them work so I can get started right away!

Workin' on dat money shot!
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: CCTAU on October 20, 2010, 11:49:05 AM
One drop of Visine in a glass of water.......
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Snaggletiger on October 20, 2010, 11:51:04 AM
What's a kegel excercise?
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Buzz Killington on October 20, 2010, 12:10:28 PM
What's a kegel excercise?

I think the kegel is a muscle around the knee.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Snaggletiger on October 20, 2010, 12:37:19 PM
I think the kegel is a muscle around the knee.

Cool.  So Token's been doing squats?
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Saniflush on October 20, 2010, 12:43:37 PM
I think the kegel is a muscle around the knee.

Mine is.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Buzz Killington on October 20, 2010, 12:51:25 PM
Mine is.
Isn't everybody's?
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: AuburnChopper 3.0 on October 20, 2010, 02:31:32 PM
One drop of Visine in a glass of water.......

Dangerous as fuck.  Never do this...

http://www.snopes.com/medical/myths/visine.asp (http://www.snopes.com/medical/myths/visine.asp)
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Saniflush on October 20, 2010, 02:34:10 PM
Dangerous as fuck.  Never do this...

http://www.snopes.com/medical/myths/visine.asp (http://www.snopes.com/medical/myths/visine.asp)

Glad we never killed anyone.  This was a once a month prank at school.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Snaggletiger on October 20, 2010, 02:37:31 PM
So, have you freckeld the bowl yet?
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: JR4AU on October 20, 2010, 07:17:33 PM
Dangerous as fuck.  Never do this...

http://www.snopes.com/medical/myths/visine.asp (http://www.snopes.com/medical/myths/visine.asp)

It's all fun and games until someone's core temp drops, and they go in to coma.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Lurking Tiger on October 21, 2010, 01:01:43 PM
It's all fun and games until someone's core temp drops, and they go in to coma.

The you break out the permanent magic markers.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: chinook on October 21, 2010, 07:13:32 PM
(http://www.tophatcigar.com/images/products/large/copenhagen-original-can-roll-of-10-12cop.jpg)



Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Snaggletiger on October 22, 2010, 10:20:40 AM
Damn Toke, you can't start a "Can't shit" thread and give no follow up.  Droppin' a good growler is near and dear to every man's heart.  Update?
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: JR4AU on October 22, 2010, 02:24:07 PM
Damn Toke, you can't start a "Can't shit" thread and give no follow up.  Droppin' a good growler is near and dear to every man's heart.  Update?

I got an update...that fucking soup looked so good I made it that night, and I've been plugged up every since! 
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Saniflush on October 22, 2010, 02:35:11 PM
I got an update...that fucking soup looked so good I made it that night, and I've been plugged up every since!

You must have gone heavy on the cheese.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: chinook on October 22, 2010, 02:40:30 PM
You must have gone heavy on the cheese.

or shoved a can up his ass. 
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Snaggletiger on October 22, 2010, 02:42:54 PM
or shoved a can up his ass.

Yep, that would do it.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Jumbo on October 22, 2010, 03:03:52 PM
Yep, that would do it.
That's uncanny.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: JR4AU on October 22, 2010, 03:38:07 PM
That's uncanny.

A can in the can is uncanny?
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Token on October 22, 2010, 04:23:59 PM
Damn Toke, you can't start a "Can't shit" thread and give no follow up.  Droppin' a good growler is near and dear to every man's heart.  Update?

I was a little concerned.  When I saw the first recipe go up, I thought for sure I was about to encounter an army of farking assholes.  Luckily, I haven't been forced to delete my account. 
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Snaggletiger on October 22, 2010, 04:27:57 PM
I was a little concerned.  When I saw the first recipe go up, I thought for sure I was about to encounter an army of farking assholes.  Luckily, I haven't been forced to delete my account.

We care
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: ssgaufan on October 22, 2010, 04:42:41 PM
We care

No, not we.  Just you.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: AWK on October 22, 2010, 05:03:26 PM
No, not we.  Just you.
A fucking lot.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Token on October 22, 2010, 05:05:49 PM
A fucking lot.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

No, not we.  Just you.

 :fu:
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: wesfau2 on October 23, 2010, 07:04:16 AM
A fucking lot.

About the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines

About the SF, NY and LAPD.

It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: The Prowler on November 30, 2010, 01:54:11 AM
Eat Cheese.....LOTS OF CHEESE.....for three days straight.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Jumbo on November 30, 2010, 06:28:01 AM
Eat Cheese.....LOTS OF CHEESE.....for three days straight.
That's cheesy.
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: Godfather on November 30, 2010, 10:06:44 AM
Prowler do you do searches for threads that are 3 years old?
Title: Re: **WARNING** TMI
Post by: The Prowler on November 30, 2010, 10:37:47 PM
Sometimes...when it's just me on the board (3am-6am).  I'm da mutha fuckin' Prowler Bizitches!!!!