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I've never

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AUsweetheart

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I've never
« on: May 26, 2010, 04:10:55 PM »
Made this kind of bet before because thought of wearing any kind of bammer gear is so deeply repulsive. But... I got caught up talking shit this morning....and them we proceeded to get our asses kicked. The long and short of it is I have to wear a bama hat on tue. The only way I can stomach it is if I make it an entire costume. Jean cut offs...some Camel lights...etc. Anyone have any suggestions....short of bleaching my hair blonde and fucking 49 frat boys that is...
HELP.
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A national championship is a wonderful thing, but if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it.

wreckingball

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Re: I've never
« Reply #1 on: May 26, 2010, 04:24:11 PM »
Paint the back of your neck red.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: I've never
« Reply #2 on: May 26, 2010, 04:24:29 PM »
I would say you're on to something.  You can definitely turn this around on your water-headed class mate.  Going overboard with the outrageous Wal Marks Bammie gear would....nooo...that wouldn't work.  They all wear it.  I'll get back to you.  

This is going to be tough.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

dallaswareagle

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Re: I've never
« Reply #3 on: May 26, 2010, 04:49:30 PM »
Well, if you want to go full throttle:

Knock out all your teeth.
Marry your brother.
Cheat on your brother with your Uncle.
Sell Cocaine at work.
Slap a secretary.
Pronounce one day; you will go Denny-Bryant statidum.  In Birmingham. 
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

CCTAU

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Re: I've never
« Reply #4 on: May 26, 2010, 05:00:06 PM »
I would suggest something like this. That way no one ever notices the hat. Take a lot of pics for us.




P.S. This might be the only way we could forgive you for the hat.......
« Last Edit: May 26, 2010, 05:08:31 PM by CCTAU »
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Godfather

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Re: I've never
« Reply #5 on: May 26, 2010, 05:07:41 PM »
Quote from: CCTAU on May 26, 2010, 05:00:06 PM
I would suggest something like this. That way no one ever notices the hat. Take a lot of pics for us.,


seconded
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Snaggletiger

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Re: I've never
« Reply #6 on: May 26, 2010, 05:14:53 PM »
Damn...row tahd
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

wesfau2

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Re: I've never
« Reply #7 on: May 26, 2010, 05:23:02 PM »
Quote from: AUsweetheart on May 26, 2010, 04:10:55 PM
Made this kind of bet before because thought of wearing any kind of bammer gear is so deeply repulsive. But... I got caught up talking shit this morning....and them we proceeded to get our asses kicked. The long and short of it is I have to wear a bama hat on tue. The only way I can stomach it is if I make it an entire costume. Jean cut offs...some Camel lights...etc. Anyone have any suggestions....short of bleaching my hair blonde and fucking 49 frat boys that is...
HELP.

Do you have to wear the hat on your head?  Doesn't sound like that was stipulated.

I'd cut that fucker in half and glue each half to one of my shoes.  Walk on that shit all day long.

Or cut the seat out of your pants and use the hat (or pieces of said hat) as a patch.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

ssgaufan

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Re: I've never
« Reply #8 on: May 26, 2010, 05:24:02 PM »
Quote from: AUsweetheart on May 26, 2010, 04:10:55 PM
Made this kind of bet before because thought of wearing any kind of bammer gear is so deeply repulsive. But... I got caught up talking shit this morning....and them we proceeded to get our asses kicked. The long and short of it is I have to wear a bama hat on tue. The only way I can stomach it is if I make it an entire costume. Jean cut offs...some Camel toe showing...etc. Anyone have any suggestions....short of bleaching my hair blonde and fucking 49 frat boys that is...
HELP.

Much better.
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Pell City Tiger

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Re: I've never
« Reply #9 on: May 26, 2010, 06:25:13 PM »
Quote from: AUsweetheart on May 26, 2010, 04:10:55 PM
Made this kind of bet before because thought of wearing any kind of bammer gear is so deeply repulsive. But... I got caught up talking shit this morning....and them we proceeded to get our asses kicked. The long and short of it is I have to wear a bama hat on tue. The only way I can stomach it is if I make it an entire costume. Jean cut offs...some Camel lights...etc. Anyone have any suggestions....short of bleaching my hair blonde and fucking 49 frat boys that is...
HELP.
Bless your heart. Sometimes it backfires. I suggest picking up some of those hillbilly teeth they sell at Spencer's Gifts and roll a pack of Basic 100's up in your sleeve. Have fun with it.

I had to sing the bammer fight song to a gaggle of clock punchers after the Iron Bowl. I invited them to join in if they knew the words. No one did.
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

Jumbo

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Re: I've never
« Reply #10 on: May 26, 2010, 08:16:15 PM »
Quote from: CCTAU on May 26, 2010, 05:00:06 PM
I would suggest something like this. That way no one ever notices the hat. Take a lot of pics for us.




P.S. This might be the only way we could forgive you for the hat.......
That's  :thumsup:
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bottomfeeder

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Re: I've never
« Reply #11 on: May 26, 2010, 08:36:09 PM »
Don't forget to blacken both your eyes and put a beach bowl under the shirt.
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AuburnChopper 3.0

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Re: I've never
« Reply #12 on: May 26, 2010, 11:03:31 PM »
I like the paint the back of your neck red.  Wear a shirt showing cleavage and write Nick Saban on your chest w/ a Sharpie.  Carry a few pics of your kids, Bear and Crimson.  Carry everything in a houndstooth bag, and make sure the hat is houndstooth...you know...baseball cap style.  Good luck finding one of those baseball caps though, according to some bammers they don't exist.  Go around next asking Auburn fans, or anyone other than bammer fans, where Bryant Denny Stadium is, as you've never seen it live in person. 

Good luck and prayers sent.
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Tiger Wench

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Re: I've never
« Reply #13 on: May 26, 2010, 11:14:56 PM »
Definitely barefoot, pregnant and beat-up.  You know, since the baby daddy ain't yer brother and he got jealous.

Carry a wal mart sack for a purse.
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Saniflush

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Re: I've never
« Reply #14 on: May 27, 2010, 06:58:40 AM »
Quote from: wesfau2 on May 26, 2010, 05:23:02 PM
Do you have to wear the hat on your head?  Doesn't sound like that was stipulated.

I'd cut that fucker in half and glue each half to one of my shoes.  Walk on that shit all day long.

Or cut the seat out of your pants and use the hat (or pieces of said hat) as a patch.

This man knows.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Godfather

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Re: I've never
« Reply #15 on: May 27, 2010, 09:05:18 AM »
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Gus is gone, hooray!
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CCTAU

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Re: I've never
« Reply #16 on: May 28, 2010, 04:58:55 PM »
Can we get before and after pics, please?
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.
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