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Kaos' way behind movie reviews

Snaggletiger

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2920 on: May 06, 2019, 11:57:27 AM »
Primal Rage

A bunch of reeeeally bad actors go in the woods and get their faces ripped off by a Sasquatch.  That about covers it.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2921 on: May 06, 2019, 07:30:06 PM »
Zac Efron's Ted Bundy Movie

Zac completely inhabits Bundy. 

Other than that, there's  not much to recommend here.  The timeline skips, the lack of any real meat, the lengths to which the producers went to fabricate situations/events all combined to make a muddled mess of a movie with almost no tension.  It just failed to generate the urgency and intensity it needed to.

Other than one brief scene, it didn't let Efron be the Bundy that did all the things that Bundy did. And I think it needed that. 
Mark Harmon forever
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2922 on: May 08, 2019, 08:28:19 AM »
Zac Efron's Ted Bundy Movie

Zac completely inhabits Bundy. 

Other than that, there's  not much to recommend here.  The timeline skips, the lack of any real meat, the lengths to which the producers went to fabricate situations/events all combined to make a muddled mess of a movie with almost no tension.  It just failed to generate the urgency and intensity it needed to.

Other than one brief scene, it didn't let Efron be the Bundy that did all the things that Bundy did. And I think it needed that. 
I'd also say was this really a movie that needed to be made?
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2923 on: May 19, 2019, 09:23:23 AM »
Happy Death Day 2 U

The sequel to the surprisingly appealing Happy Death Day. 

As before, the movie really lives and dies (and lives and dies again, ha) on the easy, graceful allure of star Jessica Rothe.  She transitions so naturally between comedy, drama and pathos that she completely carries the movie and everything and everyone else in it are just set pieces for her to move around with her charm.  Without her, this movie doesn't exist.  

As for the movie itself?  Really wonky science that ties back to the original and flips things around.  If you didn't watch the first film, you'll be utterly confused by this one.  And there's a good chance you'll be confused anyway because a lot of it just doesn't make sense if you bother to think about it in the slightest.  

I assume the producers and director simply hoped that you'd be so taken in by Rothe's performance that you'd ignore everything else that collapses all around her.  They're not wrong.  
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2924 on: May 20, 2019, 12:03:18 AM »
The Convent 

Hey. Let's capitalize on the interest in the Nun movies from the Conjuring franchise.  Make a set with three rooms, a couple of hallways -- like an ambitious porn shoot. That'll be good. 

Hire a guy with an American accent to play a 15th century English magistrate and tell him not to bother trying an accent!  Get some plain girls with british accents and put them in heavy outfits for the duration.  Throw in some 'horror' effects, some ridiculously bad acting and a chase scene down one of the hallways that's so short it actually requires the actors to walk instead of run.  Success! 

Bad movie. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2925 on: May 20, 2019, 01:04:51 PM »
Happy Death Day 2 U

The sequel to the surprisingly appealing Happy Death Day.

As before, the movie really lives and dies (and lives and dies again, ha) on the easy, graceful allure of star Jessica Rothe.  She transitions so naturally between comedy, drama and pathos that she completely carries the movie and everything and everyone else in it are just set pieces for her to move around with her charm.  Without her, this movie doesn't exist. 

As for the movie itself?  Really wonky science that ties back to the original and flips things around.  If you didn't watch the first film, you'll be utterly confused by this one.  And there's a good chance you'll be confused anyway because a lot of it just doesn't make sense if you bother to think about it in the slightest. 

I assume the producers and director simply hoped that you'd be so taken in by Rothe's performance that you'd ignore everything else that collapses all around her.  They're not wrong. 
mmmm Jessica Rothe... something about her makes my pee-pee maker ti..ti..tingle.


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Snaggletiger

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2926 on: May 20, 2019, 02:36:19 PM »
Something about her????  Where would you like me to start?
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2927 on: May 30, 2019, 07:25:28 AM »
Something about her????  Where would you like me to start?
Sorry but she looks like a chain-smoking drowned rat. 2 at 10, 6 at 2 on best day. Pass. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2928 on: May 30, 2019, 09:29:54 AM »
Sorry but she looks like a chain-smoking drowned rat. 2 at 10, 6 at 2 on best day. Pass.
Son....I'm only gonna tell you this once.   Lay off the drugs.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2929 on: May 30, 2019, 09:43:43 AM »
Sorry but she looks like a chain-smoking drowned rat. 2 at 10, 6 at 2 on best day. Pass.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2930 on: May 30, 2019, 11:58:01 AM »
Sorry but she looks like a chain-smoking drowned rat. 2 at 10, 6 at 2 on best day. Pass.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2931 on: June 01, 2019, 07:35:19 AM »
Saw Aladdin last night. Hey, we watched the cartoon version about 25 times.  Happens when you're raising kids. Pretty much spot on remake with a few tweaks.  Will Smith played the Genie and while no one could match what Robin Williams brought to the role, Smith was pretty entertaining.  It was nostalgic for me and the skirt and if you have young kids, this would be a good one to take them to.
« Last Edit: June 01, 2019, 07:37:09 AM by Snaggletiger »
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2932 on: June 01, 2019, 08:51:03 AM »
Saw Aladdin last night. Hey, we watched the cartoon version about 25 times.  Happens when you're raising kids. Pretty much spot on remake with a few tweaks.  Will Smith played the Genie and while no one could match what Robin Williams brought to the role, Smith was pretty entertaining.  It was nostalgic for me and the skirt and if you have young kids, this would be a good one to take them to.
I was in that same wheelhouse.  Aladdin, Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Pocahontas, Lion King, Hunchback, lilo and stitch, Mulan.... 

We watched those hundreds of times.  Completely wore out two mermaid VHS tapes.  (And I still have one of the golden penis vhs covers) Mermaid was my oldest daughter’s favorite.  Still is I guess.  I can’t watch the scene where Triton says “I guess there’s just one problem left...how much I’m going to miss her” without almost breaking down.  

That’s why I don’t want, need or appreciate these live action remakes.  Jungle Book was my favorite movie as a kid.  The new one was fine I guess but it doesn’t hold a prickly pear to the 1966 version.  Didnt watch the new gay-friendly Beauty.  Can’t make myself watch this. Gonna pass on Lion King (which was IMO the greatest animated movie of all time and worthy of an Oscar for Best Pic).  I’m just gonna leave the past in my behind. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2933 on: June 03, 2019, 10:42:50 AM »
That’s why I don’t want, need or appreciate these live action remakes.  Jungle Book was my favorite movie as a kid.  The new one was fine I guess but it doesn’t hold a prickly pear to the 1966 version.  Didnt watch the new gay-friendly Beauty.  Can’t make myself watch this. Gonna pass on Lion King (which was IMO the greatest animated movie of all time and worthy of an Oscar for Best Pic).  I’m just gonna leave the past in my behind.
How will there be enough room for the jelly dong?
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2934 on: June 04, 2019, 09:44:06 AM »
Rocketman

This was not the movie I expected to see.  Where Bohemian Rhapsody was a fairly straight(ha!)forward telling of Freddie Mercury's life (with the occasional dramatic embellishment) this film played much more like an old style musical.  The movie often broke away from the storytelling to use Elton John's songs to push the plot.  When characters break into song during dramatic moments, trading Elton lyrics, and when events devolve into fully choreographed song and dance numbers, what you've got is a full-blown musical -- not a movie.  That wasn't what I thought I was going to see. Musicals should come with a warning. 

It's a little hard for me to understand why somebody who literally had it all could be so completely miserable. See: Nikki Sixx, Freddie Mercury, Elton John, etc.  In the case of Elton and Freddie, the misery was compounded by a deep-rooted need to be loved and a circle of sycophants incapable of providing that.  I have theories related to how that abject loneliness manifested itself in the turn to gayness but that I will keep to myself. 

Tareyton Eggetson (what is that guy's name?) of the Kingsman fame did a credible job of inhabiting John's persona.  That he's playing John at all is a clever inside Kingsman joke anyway.  But the movie was so odd and the residual hangover of Rami's performance as Mercury will probably keep this performance out of the "Best" category when it comes award time. Had this come first, it might have overshadowed Malek if only because Tarelyton did his own singing throughout the movie. 

It was whitewashed, of course, because that's the nature of history.  The victors get to write it.  Had the same film been made through the eyes of Bernie Taupin, John Reid or Dick James it would likely have been a vastly different story. 

It was good. But in comparison to Bohemian (and those comparisons are inevitable) it's not great.  The main reason for that is the way it was played.  Turning it into a quasi-musical, which required enormous creative license with the timeline of song creation and performances, was problematic.  As I reflect on it, though, I tend to think that another story of a self-absorbed, self-pitying mega-rich emotionally bankrupt star wasn't compelling enough on its own. Crue was rowdier (and more fun).  Freddie was more tragic. Elton was just sorta bland.  Oh, poor you.  Dad wasn't emotionally invested and Mom was a little whorish.  Poor poor pitiful you.  
« Last Edit: June 04, 2019, 09:47:49 AM by Kaos »
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2935 on: June 10, 2019, 01:34:35 PM »
Glass

McAvoy's performance(s) as all the personalities that struggled for control of his facade was (again) outstanding.  

The rest of the movie was somewhat lacking.  Shamalamalingbing tried to add a twisty tie at the end, but the way it played out really cheapened the characters and sort of turned them into cardboard cutouts of who/what they could have been.  

Lots of dramatic music when nothing was happening.  Moved very slowly.  I just didn't think the payoff was worth the wait.  

But McAvoy was really good. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2936 on: July 03, 2019, 02:36:06 PM »
Saw Aladdin last night. Hey, we watched the cartoon version about 25 times.  Happens when you're raising kids. Pretty much spot on remake with a few tweaks.  Will Smith played the Genie and while no one could match what Robin Williams brought to the role, Smith was pretty entertaining.  It was nostalgic for me and the skirt and if you have young kids, this would be a good one to take them to.
We were able to watch here at St. Jude and I was pleasantly surprised.
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2937 on: July 07, 2019, 11:49:56 PM »
Annabelle: Coming Home

Short on scares, short on drama, short on story.  Big on cash grab from a franchise that was not that good to begin with and has really lost its way.  

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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2938 on: July 08, 2019, 12:04:01 AM »
The Highwaymen

Netflix moving teaming Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson as the former Texas Rangers who teamed up to take down Bonnie and Clyde.  

The film tried really hard to de-romanticize the killer duo and in doing so took some creative liberties.  While it's cool and all to portray Bonnie as a stone-cold killer the truth was she may never have even fired a gun.  Where prior Bonnie and Clyde films have all been shot from the perspective of the doomed couple, this film stayed almost exclusively with the viewpoint of Frank Hamer and Maney Gault, the two retired Texas Rangers who were brought back into play for the express purpose of tracking down -- and killing -- the two outlaws.  In fact, Bonnie and Clyde are little more than bit players in this film. No speaking lines. Their nondescript faces don't even show except for a brief second when they realize what's coming at the end. 

The film meandered along to its already well known conclusion, adding nothing new but fabricated details.  Gruff Costner and broken Harrelson had an easy old-man chemistry that carried what was otherwise a pretty lightweight film.  That's about all there was to it, really.  Costner and Harrelson playing off each other in what could have been a movie about practically any road trip. 

Kathy Bates shows up looking like boiled hell as the Texas Governor. 

Just not that much to recommend. 
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #2939 on: July 08, 2019, 12:06:02 AM »
Spiderman: Into the Multiverse

Not sure what I expected, but I was pleasantly surprised.  It was funny, it was dramatic, it was touching.  Marvel/Sony really knows how to make superhero movies -- even when they're animated. 

One of the better movies I've seen in a while. Don't know why it took me so long to watch it. 
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