Today we profile a pair of major missteps by successful comedians with lengthy careers. Both of these films had solid supporting casts and the star power of the lead. Both are indicative of how the two main stars spent time wandering the desert of failure that could have left them in the dust of obscurity. Both of these films also make me think that the longevity of these two comedic actors is more due to fortunate casting in the right roles than it is to any transformative, great talent.
First, Steve Martin.
My Blue Heaven
Martin made a name for himself with the white-suited arrow-through-the-head skits on variety shows. Cemented his status with appearances on Saturday Night Live. Moved on to film and gave us The Jerk ,Parenthood, Roxanne, Planes Trains, and Three Amigos (along with some other pretty massive turds like Pennies from Heaven and Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid).
In all honesty if you look at his career as a whole, most of what he's been involved in is pure un-funny shit. He's not Will Ferrell bad, but he's pretty awful in a lot of things. Think the two abysmal Pink Panther reboots if you want a frame of reference. Or think My Blue Heaven.
How hysterical! Nora Ephron was can't miss on the script. The guy who directed Steel Magnolias was at the helm. In addition to Martin, you've got Joan Cusack (who was at the height of her limited hotness), Daniel Stern, Rick Moranis, Melanie Mayron, Bill Irwin, and William Hickey. And it's absolute garbage.
Martin plays a gangster turned federal witness. With a ridiculous pompadour and mannerisms/accent copied from his Wild and Crazy Guy schtick, he's completely unwatchable. Every second he's on the screen is cringe inducing. The rest is just a garbled mish-mash of idiotic nonsense with no redeeming value.
Which beings us to Tim Allen and ...
Crazy on the Outside
Allen has done some good work, mostly in television. But he's also done good things with Santa Claus, Buzz Lightyear and was absolutely perfect for the part in Galaxy Quest, which remains one of the most underrated films in history.
And then there's this turd in the sandbox which clearly shows that when Allen is left to his own devices (he was fully in charge of this film as director) he can't carry the load. This movie felt much more like a TV pilot that wasn't picked up than it did an actual movie. It squandered Sigourney Weaver, Jeanne Tripplehorn, JK Simmons, Julie Bowen (at the peak of her hotness), Ray Liotta and Kelsey Grammer. How is that even possible? Watch and find out. Actually don't. It's bad.
It's nothing more than a series of failed attempts at humor, stale setups, unconvincing and rushed plot devices, abandoned story threads, and improbable events.
Allen plays a "charming" ex-con, out of prison after a three-year stint for video piracy. Every character in the film is a caricature and each has a trait that appears and disappears as needed for "comedic impact." It's a jumbled mess of shit. Weaver is a compulsive liar. Simmons is her horny husband (except the horniness is dropped mid-film and never re-visited), Tripplehorn (never liked her) is the probation officer who immediately falls head over ass for Allen. Bowen is his thought-to-be dead ex girlfriend (who is way too hot for him and 20 years younger on top of that) who is engaged to Frasier Crane (utterly wasted in this role). Liotta is essentially a ridiculous version of Henry Hill - supposedly making billions pirating DVDs to the Chinese (something that Hollywood apparently thinks is a 'thing').
It's all unconvincing and dreadful, drained of any charm. Nothing about the film works. Nothing.
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Saw these two films on the same day quite by coincidence. Just kind of reinforced to me how the film makes the actor and not vice versa in a lot of cases. Maybe most.