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Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s

War Damn Six

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #100 on: March 22, 2024, 04:11:34 PM »
Can’t we all just get along?

Fuck you, Rodney King.
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“If you're waitin' for a woman to make up her mind, you may have a long wait.” Preacher

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #101 on: March 22, 2024, 04:24:57 PM »
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War Damn Six

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #102 on: March 22, 2024, 04:27:35 PM »
Nice catch. +5

Nice softball.  I would have drilled that pitch to right field for a single. 
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“If you're waitin' for a woman to make up her mind, you may have a long wait.” Preacher

Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #103 on: March 22, 2024, 05:37:43 PM »
Did you guys hear about the deer that ran into a dentist's office?  He was concerned about his buck teeth!
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Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #104 on: March 24, 2024, 07:17:31 AM »
My buddy got arrested on drug charges and because it was his first offense, he thought he would get off lightly, but it turned out his lawyer was one of the worst in the state and ended up botching his case, so instead of getting a short term, he ended up getting 40 years without parole!!
Man, that sentence was way too long.
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Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #105 on: March 27, 2024, 08:21:54 PM »
What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off.
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Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #106 on: March 27, 2024, 08:25:19 PM »
What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off.
I know you look up to Snags, even though he’s shorter than you but it’s not making you look becoming by any stretch of the imagination. It’s sad. You are capable of much better.
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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #107 on: March 27, 2024, 09:07:22 PM »
I know you look up to Snags, even though he’s shorter than you but it’s not making you look becoming by any stretch of the imagination. It’s sad. You are capable of much better.

It’s your lack of good taste that keeps you from the VIP section of the board, which I am now in.
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Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #108 on: Today at 09:16:15 AM »
It’s your lack of good taste that keeps you from the VIP section of the board, which I am now in.

Burn!!!
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #109 on: Today at 12:27:36 PM »
I was hurt so bad after GF died that I almost moved to south Florida just to be closer to his memory. It hurt because we were on bad terms when he died. But I started thinking hard about it and came to the conclusion that I didn’t give that much of a fuck about it. I never really liked him much at all I just wish he would have liked me when he died.

I am afraid that some of you may be faced with this. There seems to be a lot of animosity and ill feelings. What if one of you departs this world without having the opportunity to make up?

I know that if Token is killed in the line of duty, I will likely feel a sense of remorse for taking shots at his weight struggles. But in reality, it is highly unlikely that he would be shot by an unarmed black kid.

Let’s make an attempt to reach across to get along. I plan to be nicer to you democrats and queers. Biden and RFK, jr supporters are fucked up, sure but they are my brothers. Or, sisters . Or whatever they identify as.

Let us remember that Jarhead voted for Gary’s Johnson. Mainly because AUChizad did, I’m sure. But where would we be without his leadership right now? We could have written him off back then. On second thought, maybe that’s a bad example.

I still plan to open my own place as those of you who have received invitations are aware. Only MAGA allowed. But until then, let’s pretend to accept these faggots and pretend to like them. Act as if you accept their fucked up point of view even though they have ZERO accomplishments or achievements to point to.

Be nice.
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Kaos

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #110 on: Today at 12:57:31 PM »
I’m not a good cook.  I have to follow recipes or it turns out horribly. I was trying to heat some salmon in the oven the other night.  First step said to turn the oven 180 degrees.

Well fuck.  Now I can’t even open the door.
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #111 on: Today at 05:20:27 PM »
If Karen Carpenter married Adam Ant, she'd be Karen Carpenter Ant.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."